by Jamie Pope
I love you.
The thought rang out clearly in his mind. He had never been in love before, but he was in love with her, and he knew it with every fiber of his being. He couldn’t tell her that yet because it was too soon and it was too crazy to fall in love so fast.
He rolled her onto her back and peeled off his shirt. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He took her mouth in a hot kiss. Their chests were pressed together, no more barriers between them. He could feel her heart pounding.
“You do something to me. You touch me and the air goes out of my lungs. You kiss me and my thoughts fade away. I just want to be with you.”
He pushed inside of her, starting their lovemaking all over again. “You will.” After tonight he couldn’t imagine himself letting her go.
* * *
Asa was off the next day, his body still sore from yesterday’s rescue efforts, but he felt good, too. Relaxed. Calmer than he had in a long time. He lay on his couch for hours. The television was on but he couldn’t focus on what was playing. He was thinking about his job and about Hallie and what had gone down between them last night. He kept reaching for her and she kept letting him have her, making love with him each time with the same intense passion that people talked about, which he’d never thought was real. He hadn’t wanted to let her go this morning, but he did because she had to go to work, although they had lingered. He watched her get dressed. He made her stay for an extra cup of coffee. He kissed her goodbye about ten times before she actually got out the door.
His phone rang and he was forced out of his thoughts.
“Hello?”
“Brother!”
“My twin.” He smiled, hearing his sister Virginia’s voice on the phone. “I haven’t heard from you in a month of Sundays.”
“I’ve been working.”
“Painting or interior design?”
“Both. Mostly painting, though. That portrait I did of Carlos when he returned for his first game after his injury got a lot of press. I’ve been contacted by a ton of athletes. I’ve turned most of them down, but I am going to do Rocky Afatia’s.”
“That huge Samoan football player with all the tattoos?”
“Yes. I think he is quite beautiful. I’m going to do a nude.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. He doesn’t have a typical athlete’s body. But he’s just as powerful and as fast as a man half his size. Don’t worry. It will be beautiful. I’m going to paint his wife, too. She is over six feet tall and has this amazing thick black hair that comes down past her butt. My fingers are itching to get to work.” Asa heard the longing in his sister’s voice. Their parents had been so against Virginia pursuing her painting career, but it was in her blood. She had always been a little different from the rest of them, a dreamer and an idealist, more adventurous than he could ever be. It was funny that she had married a man who had followed every rule and was probably the most grounded man he had ever met. But it was his unwavering support that had helped her pick up a paintbrush again after years of not painting and now she was more successful than ever.
“How have you been otherwise?”
“Good. Great, actually. I love having my husband home and I’m excited to see you for Christmas. I miss you.”
“You could call me more often.”
“You could call me more often,” she countered. “I heard about the train derailment. Were you there?”
“Yes. We were one of the first units on the scene.”
“Was it as awful as it looked?”
“It was worse, Gin. I don’t ever want to respond to something like that again.” But he knew it would happen again, because that was just the nature of his job. And for the first time he was seriously doubting if he wanted to continue there.
“How are you holding up?”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“I guess I don’t have to anymore. Mom says that you are seeing someone.”
“Did she?”
“She says that she really likes her, which is even more shocking. Mom doesn’t like anyone. It took a while for Carlos to win her over and he’s a gorgeous, beloved baseball player.”
“Don’t take it too hard. I’m just better at life than you.”
She laughed. “I was so happy when you dropped out of med school. I thought they were really going to lay into you, but then you spring this knee brace thing on me and tell me you’re financially set for life and it really put a damper on my happiness.”
“I did it just to spite you, you know.”
“Story of your life. So it’s true, you have a girlfriend?”
They hadn’t labeled it yet, but it felt right. Neither one of them was dating anyone else. “I’m seeing someone.”
“Why are you so closemouthed about it?”
“I’m not. I’m sure Mom gave you all the pertinent information. Her name is Hallie. Her favorite color is purple and she really likes chocolate cupcakes.”
“Who doesn’t like chocolate cupcakes? I’ll find out more about her when you come down. There won’t be room at the house when you come.”
“You mean to tell me in your enormous estate you don’t have any spare space?
“Both sides of the family are coming down. Carlos’s nieces and nephews, his mother and aunts. Our parents. We rented you a little house near the beach in town. It’s a bit of a drive, but I figured you’d rather have your own space and some privacy. The house will literally be insane. Carlos’s brother and sister also are staying in town.”
“It’s okay, Gin. You don’t have to explain.”
“I do, because you are the closest person to me on the planet and I feel bad, but I’m going to take you to lunch when you get here. Carlos wants to come, too, but I told him to get his own twin.”
“It’s okay if your husband comes. Carlos has become one of my best friends.”
“I know. You text him more than you text me.”
“You’re a smelly girl.”
“And you’re a big jerk, but I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“I’ll see you soon. I’m so happy we’ll be spending Christmas together.”
Chapter 11
Hallie lay across Asa’s bed, still trying to catch her breath, her underwear hanging off her ankle. There just hadn’t been time to totally remove them. Asa had pulled her into a kiss as soon as she walked through the door and the next thing she knew they were pulling their clothes off and making frenzied love on top of his gray comforter.
“We were supposed to be going out to dinner,” she said to him.
He grabbed her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “We can still go.”
“No... I don’t think I can walk. You’ve broken me.”
He rolled over on to his side and grinned down at her. “You don’t look broken to me.” He kissed her shoulder as he smoothed his hand up her torso. “You look pretty damn amazing to me.”
“Oh, don’t look so proud of yourself.”
“Did I get carried away? I missed you. I can’t seem to control myself.”
“You’re every woman’s biggest nightmare. You’re fantastic in bed. You want to spend time with me and you say the nicest things. You’re just terrible, Asa.” She lifted her head and kissed him. “You didn’t get carried away. I was there right along with you.”
It was mid-December, three weeks into their relationship, and it still felt unreal to her. She slept with him every night that he was home. When she got off work she went straight to his apartment, bypassing hers because sleeping without him by her side just didn’t seem right anymore. Whatever they had was intense and almost all-consuming. She was thirty years old. She didn’t think this kind of hot and heavy fireworks existed, but she couldn’t be near
Asa without touching him and she was afraid that it was becoming too much. She had tried to put a little space between them, return back to her apartment at night, sleep alone. Give them both time to think, but Asa wouldn’t allow that. There were days he worked double shifts and overnights, when it was impossible for them to be with each other. She missed him then, like she was missing a piece of her body. When he was home he was with her and she loved every moment of it, but they were moving so fast.
Things had started off well with Brent, too. There was a time when she had been really happy, when he wanted to spend a lot of time with her. She’d been so in love she hadn’t seen the signs that had been there early on.
She wasn’t sure what Asa was thinking. Whether he saw them as something that could get serious or if this was a little short-term fun for him. She was afraid to ask him. Afraid to bring it up because she didn’t know if she wanted to hear the answer.
“I’m leaving to go home soon.”
“Sleep here tonight,” he said, kissing down her throat. “I was dealing with alcohol poisoning when I wanted to be in this bed with you.”
“I am sleeping here tonight. You still have to feed me dinner. I meant I was going home for Christmas. I’ll be gone three weeks.”
“I know,” he said softly. “I’ve put it out of my mind.”
“You’ll be with your family, too.”
“I know. My brother-in-law called me just before you walked in. He bought a boat. We’re taking it out.”
“Do either of you know how to drive a boat?”
“Of course not. But we’re men. We’ll figure it out or die trying.”
He made her laugh. “You’re going to have fun.”
“I think so.”
“You’re going to be busy.”
“My family takes up some time. But I’ll remember to call you. We can FaceTime.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t call me those three weeks.”
“Why?” He stiffened, his brow collapsing into a frown.
She shook her head, not sure how to put her feelings into words. But she was falling in love with him so fast she was afraid that when what she felt finally hit the ground the crash would devastate her. “What are we? What is this that we’re doing?”
“We’re together. You know that. This is not just one-sided. I know you feel the same way I do.”
“I know, and that’s what scares me. What if this is just passion? What if we are letting good sex cloud our judgment?”
“This is more than just good sex and you know it.” He rolled onto his back. “Are you saying you don’t want to do this anymore?”
“No. I’m saying that I think this is moving fast and I’m feeling things I’m not so sure I should be feeling after three weeks.”
“Why are you so focused on time? Let yourself feel what you’re feeling. Just be in the moment.”
“And what happens when this moment ends? It’s been eight months since I broke up with the man I spent the last five years. The man I thought I was going to marry.”
“You’re still in love with your ex,” he accused.
“I’m not.” She meant that. “You don’t deserve to be my rebound and I don’t deserve to be your Christmas fling.”
“Why do you seem so sure of that? You have no clue what’s going on inside of my head.”
“I know, but I don’t know what’s going on in my head, either, and I can’t think because all of my thoughts are about how I feel when I’m with you. I’m not saying I want to end this. I just think we both need time away from each other to think. To see if this holds up when we’re not with each other.”
“I think you’re being ridiculous. If I call you once a week while you’re away, it’s not going to make a difference.”
“I don’t want to be that girl who is waiting for a phone call the whole week.”
He climbed on top of her, settling his naked body between her legs. Her arousal spiked again. Not a slow burn, but a hot, quickly spreading fire. “You’re still trying not to fall in love with me,” he said.
“Yes.”
He cupped her face in his hands and gave her a very slow, very deep kiss. She nearly melted into a puddle. “Stop trying,” he whispered.
“You would like that, wouldn’t you?”
He nodded just before he kissed down her throat. “A man likes to think he’s lovable.”
“Of course you’re lovable. Why do you think I’m trying to slow this down?”
“Just stop.” He kissed his way down to her chest.
“I can’t end up with another broken heart.”
He paused and looked down at her. There was an intensity in his eyes that scared her. “I’m not him. I’m not going to hurt you.”
For some crazy reason she believed Asa wouldn’t hurt her. Or he wouldn’t mean to. She had thought that Brent could never hurt her the way he did, either. But Asa wasn’t Brent. Nothing like him. He was decent to his core and treated her better than anyone ever had and that was why it was scary. She couldn’t let herself trust anything this good. Because she knew how bad it would be if it went wrong.
“Damn you, Asa.” Emotion pricked the back of her eyes and shut them.
“I just want to make you happy.” His lips grazed her cheek.
“Don’t call me when I leave. Let me be the one who calls you.”
He sighed. “Fine. I don’t agree, but I’ll do this for you.”
“Thank you.” She opened her eyes and looked up at him again. “Now make love to me again. I really want a reason to miss you while I’m gone.”
* * *
A few days later Hallie landed in Miami. She had thought she would feel elated as she walked through the airport toward the baggage claim where her cousin was waiting for her. But she didn’t feel anything near that. It was as if something was missing, like she had left something important behind. She tried to shake off the feeling as she continued on alone. She was finally where she had been dreaming about for months. Flying into Miami was a different experience than flying into New York. The women here were wearing brightly colored sundresses and jump suits. Hair was in beachy waves and loose curls. Men sported white pants and candy-colored blazers. The pace here seemed slower, more relaxed, almost happier. It was the opposite of New York with all those people rushing around, their every move so important.
She had grown up here. She had longed for this environment, for these sights. She should be drinking them all in and enjoying every moment, but she realized that she was missing Asa. She’d slept alone, away from him last night in her own place, which wasn’t something she had done in weeks unless he had to work. She had an early flight and had told him she needed to get to sleep early, which was true. But she couldn’t sleep at all. She missed his heavy arm wrapped around her. She missed his warmth, the feeling of safety she had next to him.
She’d told him that she needed this time to clear her head, to detox from him. Detox was the right word. She had become addicted to being with him. And just when she’d convinced herself that the space was for the best he’d surprised her at the front door this morning with a cup of coffee and a long kiss goodbye.
Tears had splashed down onto her cheeks and she knew she was being foolish. She knew she shouldn’t be reacting that way to a man she had known for less than a month. Especially when going home to Hideaway Island, the only place she had wanted to be since she’d left.
“Call me when you get there,” he said with his lips still pressed to hers. “I’ll see you when you get back.”
Her mind stayed on that memory all throughout the day. She would see him when she got back. A few weeks ago she had made up her mind that once she came here she would never go back, but now...now that was no longer a certainty.
“Is that my baby?” Hallie heard her mother’
s voice and she was shocked to see her standing there with a bouquet of the wild lilies that grew on their island.
“Mom?” She ran to her, closing the distance between them in seconds. Her mother wasn’t supposed to be there, just her cousin. But her mother was there and as soon as Hallie felt her arms close around her, she felt the tears well in her eyes again.
“Oh, sweetheart. I’ve missed you so much.”
“What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were coming.”
“We wanted to surprise you,” Derek said. She looked up to see her handsome cousin and his mother there. She smiled when she saw him. She was so used to seeing him in paint-stained clothes and smelling slightly of wood and varnish, but he was wearing unstained jeans and a blue polo shirt. He had dressed up for the event.
“I’m so glad you did.” She hugged him, too, and he lifted her up and spun her around in a big bear hug.
“Stop crying, you water head.”
“I don’t think I can.” She pulled away from him and looked at her aunt Helena. “How are you, Auntie Lena? I’ve missed you, too.”
“You’d better have. How’s your head? We heard you did some damage to it.”
“It’s hard as a rock. I’m fine.”
“Don’t hog my baby.” Her mother tugged her away from her aunt and hugged her again. “You look so pretty, Hallie. I wasn’t sure if I would like your hair short, but I do. And your skin is gorgeous. You’re glowing. I thought New York would wash you out.”
“New York isn’t bad. I can see why Daddy loved it there.”
“But not as much as he loved Hideaway Island. Moving to the island was the best decision he ever made and I think—”
“Aunt Clara...” Derek warned. “Let’s get Hallie’s bags and then take her out for lunch. I’m sure she’s tired after her long flight.”
“I am tired. Mom, could you please get me some coffee from that stand over there, while I get my bags. I was so excited I barely slept at all.”
“Of course! Come on, Helena, let’s see if they have any Cuban coffee there.”
