The old man smiled a greeting, took the rope from Damian and led the horse away.
April touched Damian’s arm. “Do you know if Lex is here?”
“Yeah, he should be in the studio, why?”
“I just...have to ask him something.” April’s heartbeat slowed; at least she knew Lex was safe.
She took her time wandering to the studio and stopped just outside the open doors. She could hear Violet and Campbell inside. Poking her head around, she tapped on the door.
“April,” Campbell said. “I didn’t know you were working today.”
April walked to them. “I’m not. I, um...I’m looking for Lex. Is he here?”
“He was,” Campbell said. “He left a short while ago.”
Violet narrowed her eyes at April. “Why?”
“I just...wanted to ask him something. I’ll...go, I guess.”
April retreated briskly, spurred on by the intensity of Violet’s cold glare. She rushed to her car and jumped in, slamming the door. There was only one other place Lex could be, and that was at home. As she headed there, she thought about what she would say to him. At least she knew Violet wouldn’t be there.
April’s car was programmed to be allowed access to Lex’s gates and she entered without problem. She drove up to the house and shut off the engine. She sighed; there was no prolonging the inevitable.
The front door was open slightly when she reached it. She knocked twice as she peeked her head around. She couldn’t hear anything.
“Hello? Lex?” she called out.
She quickly checked the kitchen and found nobody. Wandering up the stairs, she heard voices coming from Lex’s bedroom. She froze.
They were laughing.
April approached the closed door and stopped with her hand an inch from the handle.
Maxwell barked from inside the room. April jumped. She could hear the puppy scratching the door and someone moved from the bed; she heard the slide of sheets.
“What is it, bud?” Lex said.
Suddenly the door opened. Lex, shirtless and disheveled, stood before her. Behind him, lounging on the bed was a girl April didn’t recognize. She was smiling, dressed only in a pale blue dress shirt with red tooling on the collar; Lex’s.
Lex pushed into April, shutting the door behind them and buttoning his jeans.
“April, what are you doing here?” he asked, trying to steer away from the bedroom.
“...Looking for you...” April was in shock, her mind still spinning.
Lex couldn’t be cheating on her. Lex loved her. He was...he was good. And...he was kind and...he loved her. Right?
“You’re cheating on me?” April asked. Her mouth was numb and didn’t want to work.
Lex darted into the laundry room and returned, pulling a shirt over his head. “Technically,” he said, “I cheated on Violet with you.”
April looked at him with wide eyes. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She didn’t even recognize the man before her. This cockiness, this demeanor, it wasn’t the Lex she knew.
“Come on,” Lex continued, “Let’s get a drink and talk.”
“Talk? What’s there to talk about? You lied to me! You’re cheating on me! You...” April’s eyes filled with tears. “How could you do this to me?” she whispered. Her heart dropped into her stomach and she gasped as the pain shot through her chest.
“Tell me it’s not true,” she begged. “Tell me you didn’t do anything with that girl. Tell me you didn’t lie to me. Please!”
Lex looked at the ground. “I can’t do that.”
Tears began to fall down April’s cheeks and she clenched her fists.
“This is the way it goes, April. Did you really think I would just settle down and become a family man?”
April nodded slowly. “You told me...you said you wanted to.”
“Well yeah, but everyone says that.”
“No they don’t!”
“I don’t know why you’re freaking out now, April. This is the way it’s always been.”
“I didn’t know that this is the way it’s always been! How many of us are there? How many girls do you have on a string, tugging them along while you pretend to be in love with Violet? And what about Violet? And the baby? How could you do this to them?”
“You are one of those girls. What about Violet? She was fine about you.”
“She wasn’t fine! She doesn’t even know about us since the baby!”
“April, the baby’s not even mine! It’s Cash’s! Jesus, calm down.”
April froze. Her heart started to beat faster than she thought possible. She didn’t want to believe her ears. She couldn’t believe that this man was truly Lex, because if he was, she had been lied to for months. She had allowed herself to believe that she had fallen in love with a genuine person. But this man was not genuine. He was a liar, and a cheat and he was selfish. April angrily wiped the tears off her cheeks.
“It was better for my career if everyone thought the baby was mine, April. We were fine keeping things secret before.”
“I didn’t know about the other girls! I believed you when you told me you loved me!”
“Calm down,” Lex said, forcefully.
“No! How dare you stand there and tell me to calm down after everything you have done!”
“April, you’re being unreasonable.”
“I’m being unreasonable? You lied to me for months! You’ve been sleeping with who knows how many other girls! I moved here because you told me you loved me and that we would find a way to be together. You lied to my face, Lex. And...you always will.”
“Will what?”
“You’ll always lie to me. Won’t you?”
Lex looked at her and frowned. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to say no! I want you to tell me that I’m wrong. But...you can’t do that.”
Lex sighed and shook his head, closing his eyes. “No, I can’t.”
“I can’t believe this.”
“I had to keep everything from you, April. It was necessary...It was for the best.”
“For who?”
“For...me.”
April nodded, feeling a fresh wave of tears run down her face and over her lips. “It’s always gonna be like that. You do things for you, not for me. Not for anyone. I didn’t come here to be part of your harem.”
“I bought you a horse!”
“No, you bought me a distraction. Keep the horse; he doesn’t truly belong to me, anyway.”
“I...I’ll buy you anything you want! I do love you!”
She shook her head. “You can’t buy someone, Lex.”
“I’m not...I’m...”
“Yes...you are. Love doesn’t work like that. Throwing money at someone doesn’t make them love you back. Love is about respect and appreciation.”
“I do respect you...I do appreciate you!”
April closed her eyes. “But I don’t respect you anymore. Because you lied to me. Because you cheated on me, Lex.”
“But...I love you. I’ll stop sleeping around. I really will.”
“You and I have different ideas of what love means then. I can’t love you now.”
“How can you say that?”
“Love also means trust. And I can’t trust you.”
“So what does that mean for us?”
April shook her head again. “There is no us anymore.”
“April, you can’t just break up with me.”
She looked at him. “Why not?”
“You...You’re serious?”
April nodded. She looked at Lex. She had expected this. She had seen something like this coming. She just hadn’t allowed herself to accept it. But now she was faced with the truth. They were too different. And she had been foolish to think that they could work as a couple. Their worlds could never mesh amicably. It wasn’t fair for either for them to sacrifice what they would have to sacrifice to make the relationship work.
�
�Yes,” April said.
“But...I didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t lying when I told you I loved you. I lied to you about Violet because that’s what my career needed. I was protecting you! If I lost everything; you’d lose everything, too.”
“If I lost everything, I could survive, because I’d have you, and I would know that you loved me more than anything else...more than your career, your future, your money...the other girls...everything.”
“But, I want you to be in my future.”
“You should have thought about that before you lied to me. Before you chose to sleep with her instead of me last night.”
April turned on her heel, rushed down the stairs. Lex stood stunned at the top. She left the house, slamming the door behind her. As she jumped in her car, she felt a sob erupt from her throat. She didn’t want Lex to see her cry so she turned the key and peeled out of the driveway. She had to get out of there. She drove as fast as she dared through the crowded streets and pulled up in front of the cottage. She leapt out, leaving the door open.
Up in her room, she grabbed her suitcase from the closet. She emptied the drawers into it, not caring about folding her clothes. She ran to the bathroom and wiped the items on the counter into her arms, dumping the contents into the bag. She zipped it up quickly and heaved it off the bed, throwing her jacket over her arm and running through the house, scanning one last time before locking the door behind her and heading down the porch steps to the car.
She drove to the rental shop, jumping out and tapping her foot impatiently as the man behind the desk billed the car to Lex. She handed the keys to him and left the lot, searching the street for a cab. When she saw one coming, she waved her arm and the car slowed. She threw her suitcase onto the seat beside her as she slid in.
“Take me to LAX please.” She handed her credit card to the driver. He swiped it.
“No problem.”
The city rushed by outside the window. Tears begun to fall from April’s cheeks again, and she wiped them away, embarrassed.
The driver noticed.
“You okay?” he asked in a British accent.
April nodded.
“Running away?”
She looked up, surprised.
“Sorry. I see a lot of people like you. This city has a way of breaking hearts.”
She nodded. “It sure does.”
“I’m Nando, by the way.”
“Nando?”
“I know, my parents must have hated me.”
“I’m April.”
“So where’re you heading?”
“Home. Finally.”
“Lucky. Wish I could. But everyone knows this is the place to be if you wanna be a somebody.”
“What do you do...you know, when you’re not a cab driver?”
“No, this is what I do...this is how I’ll make something of myself. Driving a cab is my dream. It’s exhilarates me.” His sarcasm was thick. “I’m an actor.”
“Tough business,” April murmured.
“Actress?” Nando asked.
She shook her head. “Horse trainer.”
“A horse trainer? In L.A? Sweetheart, I think you picked the wrong city. You’re not gonna find a job here doing that; not unless you know somebody that is.”
“I did know somebody. I had a job; a great job.”
“Ooh. Let me guess; it wasn’t the city that broke your heart.”
April shook her head.
“Yeah, the men here have something, don’t they? Something that draws you in? I see a lot of girls with that story, too.”
“You drive a lot of sad people around, eh?”
“Eh? You must be from Canada.”
April nodded.
“I’ve always wanted to go to Canada. Is it true you have moose as pets?”
She shook her head. “No, that’s not true. I’m sure you could, but you’d have to be pretty brave.”
“Why?”
“They’re...” She gestured with her hands. “...big.”
“Oh, right.”
April listened to the radio. The jockey introduced the next song and her stomach tightened.
“Could you turn the radio off?”
“Not a fan of Lex Mitchell?” Nando looked at her in the rearview mirror.
April shook her head. “Not anymore.”
The cityscape turned to fields and commercial buildings and April counted down the minutes until she could be on a plane and on her way home.
Chapter 2
The sunlight streamed through her bedroom window. She had spent most of her day yesterday on a plane, then a bus, then a truck; she was exhausted.
April looked around her room. Nothing had changed. Her books were still piled on her desk a foot tall in places. Her bulletin board was still covered in newspaper clippings and pictures of her horses and friends. One photo stood out from all the rest. She slid out of bed and touched the edges.
Her and Kip smiled at the camera, their arms entwined around each other. The photo beside it was from the same day; Kip alone, carrying a saddle. April tried her hardest not to be sucked into the memory; she didn’t need a reminder that she had ruined possibly the best thing in her life by making a stupid, immature decision.
April felt a tear running down her cheek. Looking at the photo made her heart swell, reminded her of a time before everything had gone wrong. She wasn’t sure if it made her sad or happy.
Her feet dragged on the wood floor as she wandered into the kitchen, seeing the snow falling outside in flakes the size of quarters. It was late in the season for snow, even for the Cariboo.
April poured herself a cup of coffee and waited for the rest of the ranch to wake up. Sliding onto a bar stool at the kitchen island, she blew the steam from her coffee cup. Her hands were slowly warming up. A horse whinnied outside and she looked towards the barn.
Might as well, she thought.
April wrapped herself in a winter jacket from the peg in the mudroom and headed to the barn. The smell enveloped her as she entered and she walked straight to Chinook’s stall, unlocking the door, and surprising the sleeping horse.
“Hey buddy,” she murmured.
Chinook nickered softly, nuzzling into her stomach.
“Did you miss me?” Another tear rolled down her cheek. She stroked the horse down the neck, winding her fingers into his thick winter coat. His lips tugged at her jacket, grooming her back.
“I’d say so.”
April turned around at a familiar voice.
“Kip,” she said.
Her mind went blank. Never before had she been stricken speechless by this man but something changed inside her. She looked into his eyes and didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know whether to apologize, or hug him, or smile, or cry.
“Your dad told me you were back.”
April nodded. She looked at her horse and rubbed behind his ears.
“Why?” he said.
Her cheeks flamed. Shame hit her stomach and she felt like she was going to be sick.
“Lex...just...We just didn’t work out.”
Kip raised his eyebrow and handed her a brush.
April turned back to her horse and began to run the comb through his soft, smooth coat.
“Did someone...?” she began.
Kip nodded. “I groomed him every day.”
She was silent for a moment, speechless again. Finally, she said, “Why? I don’t even groom him every day.”
Shrugging, he chewed on his lip and patted the horse once on the rump. Then he turned on his heel and left the stall.
“Kip,” April called out. She leaned over the door.
Kip stopped but didn’t turn around.
The ache in her chest was back, but April said, “Kip, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I left the way I did.”
“You should be.”
The pain hit her stomach and Kip strode from the barn, his boots making close to no sound on the soft sand. April covered her mouth with her hand to stop a sob fr
om erupting from her throat. She bit her lip and turned back to Chinook. He was concerned, ears forward. He nickered to her as she resumed her grooming, feeling the tears roll down her cheeks.
April took a deep breath and began to sing softly to him. Chinook snorted when she paused and she wiped her eyes, smiling.
“Yeah, I like that song too.”
April wiped the tears from her cheeks and coughed. Chinook nickered again, concerned. She stroked him once down the face and left the stall, tossing the brush into a grooming tub in the tack room and heading out of barn. She saw Kip disappear into the pasture behind her.
He was avoiding her.
“Tell me everything,” Hailey said.
She and April were sitting on the couch in the lodge, drinking tea later in the evening.
“There’s not much to tell, Hailey. He lied, and cheated; that’s kinda it. You know pretty much everything already.”
“What did Kip say?”
April looked at her hands.
“Bad?” Hailey asked.
“He’s avoiding me. I didn’t tell him why I came home. Not the truth, anyway.
“Why?”
April sighed. “Because what I did was stupid. I gave up everything to be with Lex, and it was all for nothing. I wasted so much time when I could have been here. I lost Kip...and I’m afraid he’s not gonna forgive me.”
“I’m sure you didn’t lose him. He’s just upset. He missed you a lot; I could tell.”
“I missed him, too. He won’t even give me a chance to tell him, though. I tried to apologize.”
“Apologize? You’re a bit past an apology. You left. We didn’t think you were coming back. He basically grieved as if you’d...died.”
“What do you mean?”
“He was acting as if you’d...you know. He was angry, then he was distant, then he denied it, refused to believe you weren’t coming back. Then he accepted it. And that’s when he brought Danielle home.”
“What’s she like?”
“She’s nice, I guess. Kinda city, though. At least that’s what it seems like. Blonde.”
“Blonde?” April had always thought Kip preferred brunettes. “Is she pretty?”
Hailey nodded. The expression on her face intrigued April.
Blazing the Trail (Sunshine & Shadow Book 5) Page 2
