by J. E. Parker
Tapping my pencil against the pad, I willed my mind not to think about how long I had before the sun crested over the horizon, bringing with it the day I'd dreaded with every fiber of my being for the past three months. Chewing on my lower lip, I glanced down at the red hand-written date I'd scrawled across the top of the drawing I'd been working on.
May 30th, it read.
The vast yet uncomplicated drawing of the star-filled sky had kept my restless mind busy. With every swipe of my pencil and smudge of my eraser, I’d kept my thoughts focused on my work instead of on the agonizing heartbreak that was barreling towards me like a runaway freight train. But now that my drawing was complete, and the image perfected, there was nothing left to keep the fear and unease at bay.
It's almost time, a voice in my head whispered.
Tears blurred my vision as reality set in.
That reality? In less than eight hours, I would have to hug Ryker, along with Evan, goodbye. Then, as my heart shattered into a million little pieces, I'd have to put on a brave face, force a smile, and watch as they climbed into Evan’s truck and drove away from me for what could be the last time.
The last time… Just the mere thought made my heart hurt.
You see, Ryker nor Evan were like most other guys.
They were braver, stronger, more fearless.
Even though both had been offered football scholarships to different universities, neither had gone to college after graduating high school. Instead, they’d joined the Marines. It was something Ryker had always wanted to do. Like our father, he'd felt it was his duty to serve our country. "College can wait," he'd told our mother the day he enlisted almost four years ago. "The Marines can't."
Evan, who would follow my brother anywhere, enlisted the same day.
Six weeks after they enlisted, they left for boot camp in Parris Island, South Carolina where they'd stayed for thirteen weeks.
It was the longest thirteen weeks of my life.
Since the day I was born, I'd never been away from Ryker for more than a few days at a time. He and I were attached at the hip, two peas in a pod. He was my protector, my partner in crime, and one of the most beautiful souls I'd ever encountered.
And now he and Evan were leaving. Again.
Come morning they would head back to Camp Lejeune to prepare for their third and final deployment to Iraq. After they left, I would head back to Toluca, Georgia where I worked as a Victim’s Advocate at a county-run battered women’s shelter. Despite the massive amounts of work that I planned to immerse myself in, months of worry and fear for both Ryker and Evan would follow.
Worry that they were too hot in the desert sun. Worry that they were too cold sleeping on the ground at night. Fear that they’d be shot by a member of Al Qaeda or blown up by an IED. Fear that they’d be taken hostage and turned into prisoners of war. I can’t tell you how many nights I'd woken up screaming and crying after dreaming of them being interrogated and tortured.
It was hell when they were deployed.
I loved my big brother so dang much. I couldn't stand the thought of something happening to him. It would destroy me to lose him. And Lord knows losing Ryker would kill Mama. She'd already lost Daddy to cancer ten years back. I didn't think she'd survive burying one of her children too.
But it wasn’t just Ryker that I loved and cared about.
No, I loved Evan just as deeply, but very differently.
I'd known Evan since I was a little girl. I'd always been close to him. I mean, he was Ry's best friend and by extension my friend, but over the last couple of years, he'd become more.
So. Much. More.
I don't know how it happened exactly, but Evan had gone from being the boy who used to stay up late watching scary movies with me when he slept over, to the man who held my twenty-two-year-old heart in the palms of his large, calloused hands. My feelings for him had only been cemented the first day of my junior year when he promised to keep me forever.
The problem was, I wasn't brave enough to tell him exactly how I felt. I mean, I’d hinted at it five years earlier when I’d told him that I wanted to keep him forever, but I hadn’t flat out said the words, I love you.
Saying those words, they scared me. Mostly because I was terrified that they would push him away. And as pathetic as it sounds, I couldn’t let that happen. I’d take whatever I could get from Evan, even if it meant I’d never have him the way my heart and soul desired.
Besides, I didn't know how Ryker would react to me being in love with his best friend. I'd like to think he would understand and even be supportive, but he'd always been overprotective of me. If I caused a rift between him and Evan, I'd never forgive myself.
As much as it hurt to do so, I knew it was best I keep my feelings to myself. At least until they got back.The only problem was, I wasn’t sure if I could.
Gaze still focused heavenward, I didn't see the person standing in my bedroom, their forearms pressed against the glass pane of my window, watching me. I didn’t see them as they stared at me from the side, raking their curious—and irritated—gaze over my entire body. But I sure as heck heard the familiar creak of the aged wood as they slid my window open.
My entire body stilled at the sound.
The moment they climbed through the small window, the air surrounding me changed, becoming more charged. Body thrumming in anticipation, I didn't need to look to know who was making their way across the overhang toward me. As if it had its own radar, my heart already knew.
Evan.
The sound of his bare feet padding across the shingles reached my ears seconds before a large shadow loomed over me. I sucked in a breath and waited for him to speak.
I didn't have to wait long.
"What the hell are you doing up here, Hope? It's after midnight," Evan said in a low timbre that sent shockwaves of pleasure roaring through me. I loved hearing his voice. I swear, I could listen to him speak all day. "What if you fell? Nobody would know until morning. That shit is not okay, little bit."
Little bit… It’s the nickname he'd given me when I was five years old and started kindergarten. I'd always been small—standing at only five foot one, I still am—but the day I walked into school carrying a backpack that was almost bigger than me it became clear exactly how small I was.
Evan, on the other hand, was my big guy. At six-foot-four and almost two hundred and fifty pounds, he dwarfed me. I loved it though. His size, along with his “take no bullshit” disposition made me feel safe, secure.
Sitting down beside me, Evan stretched his long, muscular legs out beside mine. I couldn’t help but stare at the stark contrast of his skin next to mine. Where mine was fair—or porcelain as Mama called it—his was the color of coffee, heavy on the cream.
Evan and Brantley both looked more like their Cuban mother, Maria, than their non-Cuban father, Robert. Along with their darker skin tone, they also had the same curly black hair and gorgeous brown eyes as she did.
They have fantastic genes, that’s for sure.
Evan nudged my shoulder with his own, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Look at me, Hope." I turned my head so fast you would have thought it was on a swivel. When my hazel eyes crashed into his mocha-colored ones, he lifted his hand and pinched my chin between his thumb and index finger. "I don't want you up here at night." His voice was low, his tone commanding. "If you fell…" His voice trailed off, and he released my chin. Running his middle finger down the side of my face, he clenched his granite jaw tight. “I don’t even want to think about it.”
Right or wrong, his concern made me giddy with excitement. "I won't fall." Pausing, I studied his handsome face. How can a man be so beautiful?“I'm always careful."
Despite my reassurance, Evan's jaw still ticked. "Promise me you won't come up here alone at night anymore." Evan was like a dog with a bone. His constant persistence was one of the many things that I loved about him.
I opened my mouth to reply, but he kept speaking, halting the words that danced o
n the tip of my tongue. "I mean it, Hope. If something happened to you, I'd lose my mind. And Ryker, he'd—" Dropping his hand from my face, he pulled his eyes from mine and looked up at the sky. "He'd die if something happened to you."
Of that, I had no doubt.
I hugged the drawing pad to my chest. "I know. I wouldn't be able to stand it if something happened to him either." The whirlwind of emotions from before returned full force. Feeling my heart squeeze with worry, I placed one hand on Evan's muscular forearm. His warm skin twitched beneath my palm. "I need you to do something for me, Evan."
His eyes slid closed when I spoke his name. "Name it."
Tears filled my eyes. I didn't want to acknowledge the fears rolling around in my head, much less bring them forth into the world. But I needed Evan's reassurance. I needed him to tell me that everything would be okay. "I need you to promise me that you're going to come back." The first tear slipped free. "And I need you to promise me that you'll bring my brother back." The pressure in my chest increased, and a sob threatened to rip free from my throat. It was a miracle I held it back. "Because I can't lose him"—more tears fell—"I can't lose either of you." The truth spilled out of me in a slew of nearly incoherent blabbering. "I just can't—"
Before I could speak another word, Evan twisted and placed his hands on my hips before lifting me into the air. I shrieked in surprise as he tossed me over his shoulder and stood. Moving with the grace of a tree-climbing cat, we moved from one side of the roof to the other.
Clutching the back of Evan's fitted grey t-shirt in my fists, I whisper-hissed, "What in Heaven’s name are you doing?" Terrified that we would fall, my entire body quaked with fear. "Put me down"—my stomach rolled—"or else I'll puke."
I wasn't joking. I'd always had a weak stomach.
"You won't puke." Bending forward, Evan placed my feet back on the roof. I swayed a little, but he placed his hands on my sides and held me steady. My skin tingled at the contact. Without thinking twice, I circled his wrists with my shaking fingers and held on tight. "You good now?"
"Yeah." Glancing at the spot where we'd been sitting before, I arched a brow. "Why did you carry me over here?" My eyes bounced to my dark bedroom window. I had no idea what was going on.
Ignoring my question, Evan lifted his hands from my sides and cupped my jaw. "Look at me." My eyes met his. "You really worried about me not coming back to you?" Feeling a knot form in my throat, I nodded. I didn't dare try to speak. Evan's thumbs caressed my jaw, and I had to fight to keep my eyes from sliding shut at the mind-numbing sensation. "There isn't a thing in this world that can keep me from coming home to you." I sucked in a swift breath. "Not a single damned thing." Evan's gaze heated and I could've sworn his skin blazed hotter. "You're my girl, Hope. I may leave temporarily, but I'll never leave you permanently."
You're my girl… Hope flared in my heart at his words. Did that mean he felt more than friendship toward me? Was it possible that he was in love with me too?
"Evan," I whispered his name. "I need you to—"
His pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me. "Listen to me." He studied every inch of my face with his unrelenting stare. "When I get back things will be different between us." My heart rate kicked into overdrive, and my palms began to sweat. "As soon as this deployment is over and I'm handed my discharge papers, I'm heading to Georgia to find you. And once I find you, I'm not leaving." Again, he paused. "You understand what I'm saying?"
"Yes." I licked my dry lower lip causing Evan’s eyes to dip to my mouth.
His hands slid from my jaw to my hair. Clenching two handfuls of my locks in his fists, he tilted my head back further. "You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now." A whimper escaped my throat. He smiled at the small sound.
Good grief. That smile is going to be the death of me.
"Maybe you do have an idea." His face moved closer to mine, and I held my breath. "You want me to kiss you, Hope?" I couldn't have answered him if my life had depended upon it. "Just say yes, baby."
My answer was soft-spoken but swift and without a single note of hesitation. "Yes."
Without hesitating, Evan dipped his head and pressed his mouth to mine.
His lips were firm yet soft, and he tasted of the apple pie he'd eaten after supper. Clutching my hair tighter, Evan pulled on the strands. His entire body practically vibrated as if he were holding himself back, forcing himself not to lose control. I wrapped my hands around his biceps and held on tight as his tongue swiped across my lips, silently beckoning me to open.
I obliged his unspoken request.
Evan's tongue slipped into my mouth, and I was sure I'd found nirvana.
I felt myself transcending into a place I'd never been before.
A place where only Evan and I, along with the heat coursing through us, existed.
I've waited years for this moment.
Evan pulled his lips away, breaking our connection. Pressing his forehead against mine, he exhaled. His warm breath ghosted over my face, and despite feeling slightly intoxicated from having his taste on my lips, I smiled in response.
"Evan," I whispered his name as I looked at his still closed eyes. "Look at me." Granted my request, he looked at me. "Promise me you're coming back." My throat clogged with emotion. "And promise me you'll bring my brother back."
It was an impossible promise to make. I realized that. Still, I had to try.
"Hope—"
I kept speaking, cutting him off. "And I need you to promise that you'll come find me in Georgia once you've been discharged"—lifting a hand, I pressed a finger to his lips—"Because what you just gave me… I’m going to want a lot more of that.”
Wrapping his arms around my waist and lower back, Evan pulled my body against his before kissing the top of my head. With no prompting from me, he hooked his right pinky finger around my left one. "It’s a pinky promise." I exhaled in relief at the feel of his finger around mine. "I told you there isn't anything in this world that can keep me coming home to you." Another kiss. "Have I ever lied to you?"
I shook my head. “No.”
Taking a step back, Evan pulled a rectangular box out of his short's pocket. "Sit down with me. There's something I want to give you." He sat down and I followed. Holding the box out for me to take, he continued, "I got you a going away gift."
Brow furrowed, I took the box from his hand. "I should be the one getting you a present since you're the one deploying."
He fidgeted in place. "Open it."
After running my fingertips over the velvet material covering the box, I popped it open.
My heart stilled in my chest when I glimpsed what was inside.
"You bought me a locket?" Simple yet elegant, the chain, along with the heart-shaped locket was silver. It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry I'd ever seen. Wide-eyed, I pulled it out of the box. "Will you put in on me?"
"Open it first."
My fingers fumbled with the jewelry, and it took me a minute to get the locket open, but once I did, I gasped in shock. "Evan…" My voice trailed off for a moment. "Where did you get these?"
A sneaky smiled spread across his face. "I snuck into your room and stole them out of the photo album under your bed. I had them copied and resized so they'd fit." His smile grew. "Do you like them?"
I ran the tip of my finger over the picture on the left. It was a picture of Ryker and me when we were kids. "I do," I replied, my voice brimming with barely contained emotion. "I really do." Moving my gaze to the picture on the right, I couldn't help but smile. It was a picture of Evan and me in the photo booth at the county fair. My lips were glued to his cheek, and he was wearing his signature smirk. "I love it, big guy."
And I love you, I mentally added.
Taking the necklace from my hands, Evan slid it around my neck and secured it. When the clasp locked in place, my heart fluttered, and something deep inside of me snapped into place.
This is meant to be.
At that moment, I
knew the truth.
That truth? Evan Morgan was mine.
And in turn, I was his.
I leaned back and locked gazes with him. Neither of us spoke as we stared at each other with an intensity that made me weak in the knees. I wondered who would be the first to break the silence. I didn't have to wonder long.
"Come here," Evan whispered as he extended his hands for me to take. I placed my hands in his. "Climb on my lap." Again, I did as he asked. Sitting sideways on his thighs, I wrapped my arms around his neck and placed my head on his shoulder. "I'm going to miss the hell out of you," he continued.
I tried my best to push back the pain stirring deep in my chest. I didn't want him nor Ryker to leave. I wasn't sure how I'd survive eight months without them although I’d done it twice already, I didn't want to do it again. "I'm going to miss you too." I hooked a finger beneath the chain of his dog tags and lifted them in the air. The moon’s beam reflected off the metal tags.
"Yeah?" I could hear the smile in his voice. "How much?"
Dropping my head back, I looked up at the night sky and whispered, "More than all the stars in the sky." I waited for him to speak, but he didn't. Instead, he nuzzled his nose against my cheek and pressed a soft kiss to my jaw.
I closed my eyes.
Evan trailed his lips down the column of my throat, and I tilted my head to the side, giving him better access. "Promise me that you're mine, Hope." His tongue peeked out from between his lips and traced my skin. "Promise me that you're mine, and I'll promise you that I'm yours.
"I promise." They were the sweetest words I'd ever spoken.
Evan held me tighter. "I promise too, baby."
Two
Hope
The Next Day
I was going to puke.
Stomach churning, I stood in front of Mama’s garage and watched through tear-filled eyes as Ryker walked over to Evan’s truck and tossed his duffle bag into the cab.
