The night she’d spent with Noah at his cabin had been magical and the next morning she’d emerged into a different world. Everything around her had seemed bright and vividly alive. Each minute of every day was special because it brought her that much closer to being in Noah’s arms again.
Crazy or not, she’d given more to him that night than just her body. She’d given him her heart and everything that went with it. Her hopes and dreams and plans were all wrapped up in one tall, rugged rancher—even though she still had no idea what he was really thinking about her or the future.
Since then he had relented and stayed one night at her house. On another occasion, he’d eaten supper with her, but before the evening had progressed to the bedroom, he’d been called away on an emergency with a downed fence and loose cattle. That was three nights ago and she’d not heard from him since. The time apart was not only making her ache to see him, it was also making her wonder if something had caused him to change his mind about her and the two of them being together.
“Very busy. Peta doesn’t want help, but we’re going to have to hire another secretary soon. Are you sure you don’t want the job?” Bella asked teasingly.
Sassy laughed. “Oh sure, why not? Between being a wife, mother, cook, housekeeper and ranch hand, I might as well add secretary.”
Bella chuckled. “I know I’ve said this a thousand times, Sassy, but you’re incredible. Jett is a lucky man.”
A look of deep affection came over Sassy’s lovely face. “No. You got it wrong, Bella. I’m the lucky one to have Jett.”
“And Gypsy, don’t forget her,” Bella tacked on. Gypsy was a young Shoshone woman who worked during the day as the children’s nanny. At night she went home to live with her grandparents in nearby Silver City.
“Yes, thank God for Gypsy,” Sassy replied. “I couldn’t do half of what I do without her help. I just hope she waits a few years before she finds a man and starts having babies of her own.”
“Auntie Bella, we have a new baby!”
Skyler’s announcement had her glancing down at the child, then tossing a questioning look at Sassy.
She let out a hearty laugh. “No. She doesn’t mean that. Not yet.”
“Yet? So you and Jett are thinking about another baby soon?”
“Why stop at three?”
Why indeed, Bella thought. Her brother and sister-in-law were deeply in love and they cherished their children. At one time, Bella had expected to have her own family by this stage of her life. But a cheating husband and a bitter divorce had gotten in the way.
Before Bella could give Sassy a reply, Skyler’s little hand was patting her cheek in an attempt to get her attention.
“The new baby has spots on his rump. And his legs go like this.” She made a wobbly gesture with her arms. “Mommy says he has to learn how to walk. Just like Mason.”
“Mason isn’t walking now, is he?” Bella asked with dismay. “He’s not old enough to pull that off.”
Smiling, Sassy turned back to her cutting board. “Skyler thinks her little brother is Superman. She believes Mason should be able to walk at seven months old. The baby she’s talking about is our new colt. One of the mustang mares I got from Finn delivered her baby yesterday.”
“You wanna see him, Auntie Bella? He’s pretty! And he’s gonna be mine. Not J.J.’s!”
Laughing at Skyler’s emphatic statement, she kissed her niece on the cheek and sat her back on the floor. “I’ll have to look at this new baby when I have more time. I have to be heading home soon. By the way, where are your brothers?”
“Daddy took J.J. to the barn,” she answered in a sulky tone. “’Cause he’s big. I’m big, too, see?”
Bella hid a smile as she watched her niece attempt to make a muscle in her arm.
Sassy groaned. “See,” she said to Bella. “Our daughter needs a little sister to have tea parties with and play dolls.”
“I don’t wanna play with dolls,” Skyler argued. “I wanna play with the calves and the new baby horse.”
Bella laughed while Sassy shook her head with amused surrender.
“You go finish your coloring,” she said to Skyler, “and let me and Auntie Bella finish our talk.”
When the child finally made a move to do her mother’s bidding, Sassy leveled a pointed look at Bella. “So tell me what’s been going on,” Sassy urged. “Anything new?”
Only that I’ve fallen in love with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. But he doesn’t want to make anything permanent with me. That’s all, Bella silently answered her question. Aloud she said, “I’ve taken on a criminal case.”
“Yes, Jett mentioned that to me. I think he’s a little concerned that you’re stressing yourself over the case.”
She was stressing herself over Noah, but she couldn’t tell Sassy such a thing. Her relationship with Noah was still something private between just the two of them.
Grimacing, Bella asked, “So my brother thinks I’m not experienced enough to handle it?”
“He didn’t say that at all. He only said there’s a lot of footwork and digging that goes with criminal cases. That’s all.”
Bella sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound defensive. It’s just that I’ve been trying all week to gather useful information that might prove my client’s innocence. But so far I’ve not gotten a break. This afternoon, I met with his accuser and that didn’t go well.” Pausing, she shook her head. “Actually the woman isn’t the accuser, even though it was her jewelry that turned up missing. Her husband is the one who filed the charges.”
“You say it didn’t go well. What happened? She wouldn’t talk?”
“Frankly, something has the woman terrified and I believe it’s her husband. Though she didn’t tell me that outright. Anyway, I have to find a way to make her open up. Because I’m quite certain she knows far more than she’s admitting.”
“Well, good luck there.” Glancing over her shoulder, she gave Bella a clever smile. “What about your love life? Met anyone new?”
Noah had been here on the J Bar S for more years than Bella. But it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that she’d been handed the opportunity to say more than five words to him, see him without anyone else around to distract either one of them. No, he could hardly be considered a newcomer here, she thought, but everything she felt for the man was certainly fresh and new.
“No. Not exactly.”
Sassy whirled around, her expression eager. “Not exactly? Does that mean you’ve found someone you’re getting interested in? Finally?”
Bella tiredly pushed a hand through her tumbled hair. “I guess you could say that.”
“Oh! Who is he? Do I know him?”
You see him every day in the ranch yard, Bella wanted to say. Instead, she merely gave her sister-in-law a faint smile. “It’s too early to talk about right now, Sassy.”
Clearly disappointed, Sassy asked, “Why? Is he married and trying to get a divorce or something?”
“No. Nothing like that. He’s just not ready for a relationship.”
“Oh, I see.” Groaning, Sassy rolled her eyes. “A man finally comes along and turns your head, but he has cold feet. Maybe you ought to look elsewhere, Bella. If you have to drag a man to the altar, he’s not worth having.”
Even Casper wouldn’t be strong enough to pull Noah anywhere near a marriage altar, Bella thought ruefully. But it was too late for her to look at another man. Noah had already taken up a permanent position in her heart.
“You’re right, Sassy. If you have to pull love out of a man like a tooth or a splinter, then you’re not getting the real thing,” she said, then desperately needing to change the subject, she asked, “Is Mason asleep? I’d like to peek in on him before I go.”
“Gypsy took him to the nursery more than an hour ago to rock him to sleep. Another tooth is trying to come in so he’s been fussy.” She motioned Bella out of the kitchen. “Go check on them. It’s time he woke up anyway. Otherwise, he’ll
keep his parents awake all night.”
Bella laughed. “Good reason for me to go fetch him.”
A half hour later, as Bella drove away from the main house, Sassy’s questions continued to nag at her. Her sister-in-law had wanted to know if the man who’d caught Bella’s eye was married or in the process of getting a divorce. Well, Noah wasn’t married. That much was evident. But what did Bella really know about Noah’s past? Had he ever been in love or engaged? Maybe he’d tried marriage before and it hadn’t worked? That could be the reason he was so against the idea of becoming a husband or father.
Other than what he’d told her that night at the cabin about his childhood, he’d said next to nothing about his past. She understood that he wanted to forget the way his family had treated him. But what about the ten years after he’d left Benson and come here to the J Bar S? A lot could happen to a person in that length of time.
Short of robbery or murder, nothing about Noah’s past would change the deep feelings she had for him. But something must have happened during those years. Something so heartbreaking it had made him retreat from any desire for love and family. And until she knew what it was, there was no hope in the two of them ever having a future together.
Chapter Eight
Sex. That’s all he wanted from Bella. That’s all he needed.
For the past several days Noah had been repeating the mantra over and over to himself. But try as he might, he couldn’t quite convince himself that the only thing he felt for Bella was physical. Maybe that had something to do with the way his heart swelled every time he thought of her tender smile, the sparkle in her eyes when she looked at him. She was a beautiful angel who believed in him. That was enough to make him love her.
Love? Oh, Lord, no! He didn’t love Bella. He wasn’t ever going to love anyone again. And nothing she could say or do could change his mind about that.
So what are you going to do, Noah? Just continue to use her because she’s so willing and intent on having a relationship with you? What kind of man would that make you? A user like your father and grandfather? If you were any kind of man at all, you’ll end things with her. You’ll set her free to find a loving husband and a good father for the children she wants.
The accusing voice in his head continued to haunt him as he drove away from the ranch yard and headed east toward Bella’s house. But the moment he turned onto her drive and spotted her walking toward the barn, the hopeless thoughts flew out of his mind. Sooner or later, he would have to end this insanity. But for right now, he couldn’t ignore this ache he had to be near her.
She must have heard the approach of his truck because she turned and glanced toward the road. The moment she spotted him, she waved and started walking in his direction.
Noah parked the truck and quickly strode down the shady path toward the barn. When he got within reach, she didn’t say a word. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tight for long, long moments.
“My, my. I feel like a lost teddy bear that’s just been found.”
Laughing softly, she tilted her head back and smiled up at him. “I thought you were lost for good. It’s been three days since I’ve seen you.”
Because of his work, Noah was forced to carry a cell phone. And he used it when necessary. Especially when he needed to speak with Jett about a ranching matter. Otherwise, he didn’t send text messages or talk on the phone and he’d warned Bella of the fact when she’d given him her phone number a few days ago.
“I guess you’re thinking I should’ve taken the time to call,” he said ruefully.
“It would have been nice,” she agreed, her smile forgiving. “But now that you’re here it doesn’t matter.”
“These past few days I’ve had to work late for one reason or another,” he explained. “I thought I was going to get to see you last night, but one of the horses got colic. I ended up staying over on the Horn until two o’clock this morning while Doc Simmons treated him.”
“Oh no! Is he going to be okay?”
He shot her a wry grin. “Yeah. And in case you’re interested, so am I.”
Chuckling, she took him by the hand and urged him toward the barn. “I’m glad to hear you’re going to survive, too. You can help me feed the horses. And then if you talk to me nicely, I might feed you, too.”
He slanted her a clever look. “I’ll try to think up a few sweet words. I’m hungry.”
The sight of her smile warmed him as much as the feel of her small hand wrapped firmly around his. By the time they carried the feed out to the horses’ trough and returned to the barn to put away the buckets, Noah couldn’t keep his hands off her.
In the cool, dim interior of the feed room, he gathered her into his arms.
“I’ve been dying to do this.” He kissed her. “And this,” he added, his hands cupping around her breasts.
She dotted rapid-fire kisses on his lips and face, while her hands tugged the tails of his shirt out of his jeans. Her urgent response fed the desire that was already consuming him and he wondered how he could get them both back to the house before he lost all control.
“I’ve missed you so much, Noah. Make love to me. Now!”
He lifted his head, his gaze desperately searching her face. “Here?”
“Why not?”
The eagerness in her husky voice turned him inside out and before he recognized what was happening, their lips were locked together and he was easing her blouse off her shoulders.
Once the garment fell to the floor, he dropped his head and tasted the creamy skin. “Someone might come down here looking for you.”
Her hands shoved at his shirt until her palms were sliding against his bare torso. Three days without her had seemed like an eternity and now that she was touching him, he was certain her fingers had turned to flames, scorching his skin and making him ache for relief.
“They’d call first. No one but you shows up unannounced,” she said, her low, husky voice full of amusement.
His lips tracked a moist trail up the side of her neck and along her jawbone. “Want me to stop and give you a call first?”
“You devil. You’re not stopping—anything,” she finished with a needy groan.
His mouth returned to hers and while they kissed, she guided him backward until they were deep into the room and his legs bumped into a stack of hay bales.
Recognizing her intentions, he allowed her to push him down upon the shelf of hay. With his upper body resting on the makeshift bed and his feet planted firmly on the floor, the pungent scent of alfalfa filled his head. But the smell or the hard stems poking into his back was hardly a detraction from Bella.
Helpless with need, he watched her strip out of her clothing, then waited, his teeth gritted while she opened his fly and freed his throbbing manhood. To have her touching him there was almost too much to bear.
Intent on pulling her beneath him and driving himself into her, Noah jerked upward. But she had other ideas. She shoved him back down and pinned his shoulders against the hay.
“You just lie back and let me do this, cowboy.”
Two weeks ago, her boldness would’ve shocked him. But not now. The few times they’d been together had been enough for familiarity between them to grow. In the beginning he’d fought hard to prevent the closeness from happening. But he’d failed miserably. Now making love to her was as natural as breathing.
“Bella.”
Her name was the only word he managed to utter before she moved astride him, then quickly enveloped him into her welcoming body.
The pleasure was so intense he felt sure the hair on his head lifted from his scalp. From his waist down he was on fire and the need to douse it had him grabbing her hips and yanking her downward until their bodies were completely locked together.
“If you’re trying to torture me you’re succeeding,” he said in a choked voice.
“I’m trying to love you,” she whispered, then bent her head downward until she could press her lips to hi
s chest. “That’s what I want. What I need.”
There was something very possessive in her voice. It warned Noah that she had no plans of letting him go now, or in the future. But at the moment he wasn’t concerned about the grip she had on him. He’d worry about escaping a heartache later, when his mind was clear and she wasn’t using her hands and lips and body to intoxicate him.
What started out fast and frantic ended the same way, but much later, after they’d eaten dinner and retired to Bella’s bedroom, they made love again. This time with slow, meticulous pleasure. Once it was over, Noah found it difficult to set his world back on its axis.
Lying on his back, he stared into the darkness and wondered how much longer he could allow this thing with him and Bella to go on. He was falling deeper and deeper into a helpless pit of need. If he didn’t climb his way out soon, he doubted he’d ever find the strength. And then what? Just lie back and watch himself ruin Bella’s life? And his own?
A long stretch of silence passed before Bella rolled toward him and rested a hand on his arm.
“Are you asleep?”
“No. I thought you were,” he answered.
“Mmm. My time with you is too precious to waste sleeping.”
His throat thickened, making his voice gruff. “One of these days you’re going to look back and wonder why you wasted all this time on me.”
Sighing, she scooted off the opposite side of the bed and Noah watched her pull on an emerald-green robe and patter barefoot over to a set of French doors. Once she’d opened them wide and the cool night breeze was wafting into the room, she returned to the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress.
“So you think I won’t always want you here with me?” she asked.
Releasing a heavy breath, he shifted onto his side so that he could see her. Now that she’d opened the doors, silvery moonlight was illuminating the room and bathing her profile with a soft glow. Never in his life had he ever dreamed he’d be this close to a woman like her.
“I know you won’t,” he answered.
“Why not?”
Her Rugged Rancher Page 12
