“So he can stick a match to it and put it all behind him once and for all? That kind of thing?”
She swallowed as apprehension coiled her nerves even tighter. “Exactly.”
Jett glanced at his watch. “If you hurry, you might catch Noah before he leaves the ranch yard.”
Noah didn’t want to see her for any reason. How was he going to react when she showed him this letter? She couldn’t worry about that now, she thought, as she hurried out of Jett’s office. She could only hope that whatever Camilla Ward had to say would finally put an end to Noah’s bitter memories.
*
Back at the J Bar S ranch yard, Noah was squatted at the front of a chestnut horse, running both hands gently over the animal’s left cannon bone. There was a small amount of swelling in the tendon, but no obvious bump.
“I don’t like the heat I’m feeling. Lead him down the alleyway, Lew,” he told the young ranch hand, “so I can see how he’s tracking.”
He was intent on watching the horse’s movements for any sign of lameness when he heard a light step behind him. Expecting it to be Sassy returning from her check on the mustangs, he didn’t bother to look over his shoulder. Instead, he kept his focus on the horse’s gait until Lew led the horse in a wide arc, then brought him back to where Noah was standing at the entrance of the horse barn.
“He’s out of the remuda for now,” Noah told cowboy. “Tie him to the hitching post out front and I’ll bring the trailer around. Maybe Doc can make a quick diagnosis. In the meantime, put Coco in the catch pen with the rest of the herd. You can ride him tomorrow.”
“Will do,” Lew said, then added, “If you have something else you need to do I can take Sweet Potato over to the Horn.”
“Thanks, Lew, but I can manage. You have a long drive home.”
Lew darted a glance at something behind Noah, then with a shrug led the horse past him. “Whatever you say.”
Noah turned with intentions of going to fetch the truck and trailer to van Sweet Potato over to the Horn. But two steps in that direction were as far as he got.
Bella was standing just inside the wide-open doorway of the barn. A close-fitting blue dress hugged her luscious curves and stopped just at the top of her knees. Her dark hair was pulled into a neat coil at the back of her head, while a pair of red high heels covered her feet.
She looked beautiful and sexy, but very unlike herself. Not because she was dressed as a career woman, but because a smile was missing from her face. And suddenly he was wondering if she’d stopped by the ranch to finally end things with him. Maybe his unreasonable behavior at the party yesterday had finally opened her eyes and she’d decided he was someone she didn’t want in her life. The idea made him sick to his stomach. Yet it was inevitable and for the best.
“Hello, Noah,” she greeted him. “Do you have a minute or two?”
“I was just headed over to the Horn,” he told her, glad that he had a legitimate excuse to keep their conversation brief.
“This is very important. I have something to give you.”
Her unexpected words had him moving closer. “Give me,” he repeated inanely. “What—”
She inclined her head toward the open door of the feed room. “Let’s go in there. This is rather private.”
Being cooped up with her in a small space was the last thing Noah needed, but she didn’t give him time to argue the point. She’d already turned away from him and headed into the feed room. That’s when Noah noticed she was holding a white envelope behind her back.
Totally confused, Noah strode after her and followed her into the dimly lit room filled with sacks of grain, alfalfa hay and tubs of supplements.
When she came to a stop in the middle of the room, Noah stood a few steps away, his back resting against a stack of sacked bran.
“What is this all about?” Noah asked.
“You’ll have to answer that,” she said. “This letter came for you today at the office. It was sent in care of Jett.”
Noah didn’t get letters. Not the personal kind. His rural mailbox, erected at the main entrance to the ranch, was usually full of junk mail, or a random bill.
“Must be a mistake. I don’t correspond with anyone.”
She came to stand directly in front of him and Noah couldn’t help but notice the piece of paper was trembling as she handed it over.
“Maybe not. But someone is trying to correspond with you.”
He flipped the envelope around and immediately felt like someone had kicked him in the teeth. Camilla!
His first instinct was to throw the piece of mail to the floor and grind his heel into it. But shock kept him from making any sort of move.
Finally, he managed to ask, “Why didn’t Jett give this to me? He’s usually home before I leave the ranch yard.”
“My brother thought I should be the one to give it to you. He doesn’t understand that you view me as a contagious disease,” she added cynically.
Biting back a curse, he thrust the envelope back at her. “You wasted your time delivering this piece of garbage. Take it. Throw it away.”
Her eyes widened with disbelief. “You don’t intend to open it?”
“Why the hell should I? That woman ruined my life. Seven years have passed since I left Tombstone. What could she possibly be saying now that could mean a damned thing to me?”
Bella shook her head. “It must’ve been important to her. She obviously went to a lot of trouble to track you down.”
“Like I should care,” he sneered.
She studied him with dark expectant eyes and he realized she was expecting him to face this thing like a man. Not a coward.
Running and hiding from your feelings isn’t going to fix anything.
Bella’s words continued to roll through his mind, taunting and daring him to face the painful memories that had haunted him for all these years.
With a groan of surrender, he ripped the mail open, then handed the contents to her. “Please read it to me, would you?”
Uncertainty crossed her face as she glanced from the letter to him. “Are you sure? Maybe you should read this privately,” she suggested.
“No. Whatever the woman has to say I want you to hear, too.”
Nodding solemnly, she unfolded the stationery and began to read.
Dear Noah,
This letter is to sadly inform you of Ward’s recent death. For the past two years his health had steadily declined, and heartbreaking as it was for me, he welcomed the end.
I understand I have no right to ask you for anything, but I need for you to come to Verde Canyon as soon as possible. There’s much we need to discuss.
Camilla.
Ward, dead!
Completely stunned, Noah moved a few steps over and sat down on a low stack of hay. “I can’t believe it, Bella. Ward would’ve only been in his late fifties!”
She stepped over and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Noah. I think—well, in spite of everything that happened with the two of you, I know how this must hurt.”
Amazed that she could understand something that was only beginning to register with him, he looked up at her. “Why does it hurt, Bella?” he asked hoarsely. “I thought I hated the man.”
“He wounded you deeply and that was your way of coping. Believing you hated him took some of the pain away.”
An utter sense of loss welled up in him and before she could see the sting of tears in his eyes, he dropped his head and swallowed hard. “I just wish he hadn’t gone to his grave believing I’d wronged him.”
“Maybe he didn’t.”
Frowning now, he lifted his head. “Isn’t it obvious? Camilla didn’t write until after he was gone.”
“There could be all sorts of reasons why you’re hearing from her now instead of before the man died. That’s why you have to go to Verde Canyon and see her. To find out exactly why she wants to see you.”
He shot to his feet and began to pace around the dusty r
oom. “Are you crazy? That woman caused me nothing but misery. She not only ripped apart a friendship, she tore down everything good I had built to that point in my life. Face her again? Hell no!”
He didn’t realize Bella had caught up to him until she wrapped a hand around his forearm. “What are you afraid of? She can’t hurt you now. Or are you worried you might run into your old girlfriend? The one you were thinking of marrying? Maybe her desertion bothered you much more than the debacle with Camilla and Ward.”
He frowned with disbelief. “Do you honestly think that?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know what to think. The way I see it, neither one of these women should be striking a chord of fear in you, but it looks like they are. You’re afraid to travel down to Arizona.”
Groaning with frustration, he shook his head. “Kelsey was just a girlfriend. It’s true I was considering asking her to marry me. But now that I’ve had years to think about it, I can see that notion wasn’t prompted by love. It was because she was the first woman with any class to show me some respect and I was grateful more than anything. The fact that she lost faith in me probably turned out to be a good thing. Even if I had gotten around to proposing to her, I doubt a marriage between us would’ve lasted a year.”
“Then if it’s not her that’s keeping you from going, it has to be Camilla.”
“Damn it, Bella, it’s not her! Not exactly. She was never anything more to me than a friend. And after she went crazy, I didn’t even consider her to be that much. It’s just that the whole place—the Verde—I loved it with all my heart. I don’t know that I can bear seeing the ranch again.”
She squeezed his arm. “I’ll go with you, Noah. We’ll go together.”
“Why would you want to do that? This is my baggage. My problem.”
A tender expression came over her features as she slid her arms around his waist and snuggled the front of her body to his. “Oh, Noah,” she said softly, “you should know by now that I love you. I don’t want to share only good times with you. I want to share the troubled times, too.”
Noah’s heart was aching to put his arms around her, to hold on tight and never let go. But he couldn’t let pain sway him. “No. You have some misguided notion that I’m a good man. Good enough for you, that is. And you’re wrong.”
“And you have the foolish notion that you can control what my heart feels for you. But you can’t, Noah. No more than you can control what your heart is trying to say to you.”
His jaw clamped tight, he moved away from her tempting body and turned his back to her. “I’m not going to Tombstone, Bella. We’re not going. Ward is dead. Everything is dead. Over. Why can’t you get that through your head?”
“Nothing is over, Noah. It’s just now beginning. Pretty soon you’re going to wake up and see that for yourself. When you do, you know where to find me.”
He was trying to think of some way to shoot down her comments when he heard her high heels clicking past him and out the door of the feed room.
Glancing around, he spotted the letter still lying where Bella had laid it on the hay bale. He walked over and stuffed it and the envelope in his shirt pocket, then strode quickly out of the feed room.
Sweet Potato was waiting at the hitching rail. He couldn’t stop to think about Ward’s death or Camilla’s request for him to return to the Verde. And he especially couldn’t let himself dwell on thoughts of Bella.
But as he jumped the lame horse into the trailer and headed toward the Silver Horn, three little words continued to revolve around and around in his head until they settled smack in the middle of his heart.
I love you.
What was he going to do now? Leave for Tombstone with Bella in tow? Or leave the J Bar S and Bella behind?
Chapter Ten
By the time Friday rolled around Bella still hadn’t heard a word from Noah, although she’d learned through Jett that Noah had shared the contents of the letter with him and explained what had transpired seven years ago on Verde Canyon Ranch.
For the past few days since they’d talked in the feed room, she’d been hoping and praying that he would come to the conclusion that traveling to Arizona and facing Camilla was the best way to start his life over and begin a new one with Bella.
She’d told him that she loved him and maybe that had been a mistake. He’d just learned that his old friend was dead and that Camilla wanted to see him. No doubt he’d been too shocked for his mind to register much. But he’d had days to think about it now, she reasoned as she shut down the computer on her desk.
You might as well face it, Bella. Noah doesn’t want to start his life over with you. He doesn’t care whether you love him or not. The only thing he ever wanted from you was sex and now even that is over. So move on and forget the man.
Bella was trying to shut down the voice in her head, when Jett suddenly walked into her office carrying a bouquet of red tulips.
Trying her best to give him a cheerful smile, she asked, “You’re giving Sassy flowers tonight? What’s the occasion?”
“These aren’t for Sassy, though God knows she deserves to get flowers every day,” he said. “These are for you, dear sis. I know you like red so I picked these.”
“Picked them yourself, huh? Right from the flower shop?” she teased, then shook her head. “Why am I getting flowers? Do I look like I need something to perk me up?”
He placed the flowers on the corner of her desk, then leaned down to brush a kiss on her pale cheek. “Frankly, you’ve been looking awful.”
Sighing, she switched off the lamp on her desk. “Thanks. Every girl wants to hear that.”
He regarded her with a keen eye and Bella knew he was thinking about bringing up the subject of Noah. But thankfully, he didn’t. Instead, he said, “The flowers are to say congratulations for getting Brent Stanhope exonerated of all charges.”
Smiling wanly she rose to her feet and gathered a stack of case folders for Peta to file away. “I can’t take the credit for that, Jett. Mr. Potter figured it out.”
“Not without your help,” he said knowingly. “You’re the one who pulled the truth out of the wife.”
Yesterday Bella had decided to talk with the woman again and her persistence had paid off. Rather than making threats, she’d appealed to the woman’s fears and pointed out that her penalty for aiding her husband in a crime would be much less if she would confess. Thankfully, the woman had finally relented and admitted her husband had planned the whole scheme. As a result, the insurance investigator had caught him trying to sell the missing jewelry at a pawn shop in Las Vegas.
“Well, I’m just glad Brent is free and his record is cleared.” She pointed to a gold-colored box on the corner of her desk. “Valerie sent me a card and chocolates. Along with a promise to take me out to dinner. Needless to say, she’s happy.”
Jett curled his arm around her shoulders and hugged her to his side. “I’m proud of you, sis. I only wish I could see a happy smile on your face. A real one.”
“Don’t worry about me, Jett. I’m not going to fall apart.” Not yet, at least. But her heart was definitely close to cracking right down the middle.
“Noah is going to come around, sis. I don’t have to tell you he’s a man who holds things inside. He’s needs time to digest everything that’s happened.”
Sighing, she said, “I’m beginning to think it’s just not meant for me to have a husband and family. What am I doing wrong, Jett? After Marcus I waited so long to even let myself think of getting into another relationship. Now I’ve fallen in love with a man who’s determined to be a bachelor for the rest of his life.”
Before Jett could make a reply, she crossed the room and plucked the sweater she’d worn to work this morning from its hanger and tossed it over her arm.
When she returned to the desk and picked up the bouquet of tulips, Jett said, “Right now Noah doesn’t believe he’s good enough to be your husband.”
Frustration boiled over, making her
glare at her brother. “What is it with you men and your egos?” She waved her hand in dismissive fashion. “Don’t bother trying to answer that. It doesn’t matter. I’m damned tired of trying to stroke Noah’s, to try to pump him up and make him believe in himself! If he can’t believe in himself, then why the hell am I wasting my time with him?”
She started toward the door, then realizing she’d forgotten her handbag, returned to her desk and collected it from the kneehole.
“Where are you going?” Jett asked.
She slung the strap of her handbag over her shoulder. “Home. Do you mind?” she asked sharply.
“I’m not your boss, Bella. You can do whatever you please. But don’t you think Noah is the one you should be yelling this stuff at? Instead of me?”
Jett’s questions brought her up short and with a rueful groan she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Jett. I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that. I’m behaving like a shrew. And none of this is your fault. It’s all mine.”
“Forget it, sis. I already have.”
With a grateful little smile, she kissed his cheek. “I’m going home and saddling up Casper. I’ve not given him any exercise in a while. Maybe the fresh air will help clear my head.”
“Good idea. Just be sure and take a raincoat with you. The weatherman predicted a shower today.”
Laughing now, Bella headed to the door. “Now, that is funny. Rain in June? After months of drought? You were listening to a fantasy, dear brother. Not a weather report.”
“Just humor me and tie a slicker on your saddle. Okay?”
“Okay. Whatever you say.”
*
Later that evening, Noah and two other ranch hands were standing just inside the door of the barn, waiting for the downpour of rain to slack enough to finish the barn chores.
“I don’t think it’s going to slow down,” Reggie spoke above the roar of the rain pelting against the tin roof.
“I’m with you on that,” Lew agreed. “And I don’t want to stand here for hours. Let’s drag out the slickers and finish the feeding.”
“Don’t complain, guys,” Noah said, “this means more grass and less time spreading hay.”
Her Rugged Rancher Page 15
