“I… I hope I didn’t give it to Oliver.” I’m sweating now, and feel hot again. I shove the blankets off me.
“What do you mean?” Jane asks, still holding the cloth on my head.
I groan, then force my eyes to meet hers. “Because I kissed him.”
Jane smiles. “I’m sure he’s fine.”
“I hope.” My heart is pounding in my chest. My whole body seems to vibrate.
I want this to be over soon. I can’t do this forever.
* * *
It’s been a few hours, and a doctor came in to see me. He thinks it’s just a sickness from something Sadie and I ate, or even just something we will live from. He said that since things haven’t gotten worse than this morning, this is a good sign.
I’ve also managed to convince Jane to leave and let me sleep. I roll over as soon as she leaves, and my eyes, feeling heavy, instantly plunge me into darkness.
I’m standing outside the saloon. Oliver’s by the door, talking to a man. His father. He’s crying. I try to get to Oliver, but my feet won’t move.
“This is who I am Oliver. I need money,” the man says.
Oliver’s still crying. “Father. I have no more money to give you.”
“Well you really are a disappointment to me then.”
He shoves Oliver, and I try to scream for help, but nothing comes out. His father kicks at him and throws violent punches. I try to get there. To help. But I can’t. I’m helpless.
I wake up soaking wet and screaming.
Jane comes running in. “Miss Lydia! What’s the matter?”
I want to tell her I’m having wicked dreams over and over again. I still have a fever. I need more sleep. More sleep. My eyes shut and soon I’m returning to the darkness. Hopefully Jane won’t get too worried, because there was no way I could’ve told her.
Chapter 24
It’s been about two weeks since I first was sick. It was a brutal one. I was sick for about a week. The second day was worse, and then it very slowly got better.
On the second day they got the doctor to come back in because it had gotten so bad I was practically screaming in agony.
After the sickness went away, I was exhausted and spent the second week sleeping.
I’m now feeling much better, to my relief. I’m sitting in bed, with the plan to get out of bed today for the first time in a while and go outside for some fresh air.
Jane told me I shouldn’t go outside for too long and to be sure to give myself time to recover. Even though all last week that’s what I did.
I ask Jane to find my light blue skirt and white blouse. I want out of this dreadful bed. And I want to go somewhere other than this room. And do something other than sleep.
When I’m dressed, Jane brushes my long, blonde hair out. In my reflection, I notice my eyes look heavy and have dark circles under them. That was one of the worst sicknesses I’ve ever had in my whole life. And I never want to go through anything like that again.
Jane’s left the room now, and I sit looking at my reflection. It feels good to finally have my hair brushed again.
I make my way out of my room and downstairs. I find myself in the sitting room where Anna and Sir Andrew are enjoying their morning.
Taking a seat in a small chair, I rub my eyes.
“Oh, Lydia.” Anna frowns. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. I don’t know if you remember, but I told you that boy, what was his name? Oh yes, Oliver came to the door. And when I told him you were sick, he was quite upset.”
I shake my head. “I don’t remember that.”
“It was on your fourth day of being sick. He was wanting to see if you wanted to go for a walk.”
“I should go and see him.” I push myself out of the chair.
Anna smiles. “I’ll fetch the chauffeur.”
* * *
The carriage stops, and I’m helped out. Smiling at the thought of seeing Oliver again, I make my way to the door.
I knock once, before the door opens, and Oliver is revealed.
He instantly grins and pulls me into hug, and I reach up to wrap my arms around his neck.
“Lydia, I was so worried. They made it sound as if you were nearly dying.”
I pull back to look at his face. “Oliver. I truly thought I was.”
He leans in, his lips meeting mine.
I pull away, laughing. “Careful. I don’t want you to get sick.”
Oliver smiles. “Come on in.”
I step inside, and he pulls a chair out by the table for me to sit on. “Where are your sisters?”
He shuts the door. “They went to get some flour and eggs.”
He moves to sit beside me, his eyes not moving off me. “I actually thought you were going to die.”
“Me too.”
“What did you have?”
“They don’t know. I woke up a few days after our trip to Autumer and instantly felt I was about to be sick. I then tried to fetch Jane, but my legs didn’t hold me, and I fell, hitting my head on the corner of my cupboard.” I motion toward the now pink line on my forehead. “And then the second day it was worse. I was sick and trembling the whole day. And then after a few days of that, I was beginning to feel better. But last week, I slept all the time because I was so exhausted.”
“I don’t blame you. I wish someone would’ve come and told me you were getting better, though.”
I smile, reaching to take his hand. “I’m sorry. Anna apparently told me you had come, but I don’t remember it. I was that bad. Sadie had it too.”
He squeezes my hand. “Well I’m glad you’re okay.”
“I couldn’t have spent one more day in that bed. Anna told me you came, though. I’m sorry I couldn’t go on that walk with you. Trust me. I much rather would’ve done that.”
“It’s all right. We could go on one now, though, if you’re strong enough.”
Nodding, I stand up. “I’d like that.”
We make our way outside, and Oliver shuts the door behind him.
“I’m going to show you where my favorite place in Northwood is.”
“Where is it?” I ask, taking his hand as we make our way through the crowd of people.
“Not too far from here. We’ll walk slowly. Just tell me if you’re tiring.”
It’s busy today. People are out walking around, stopping to look in the windows of stores and children are skipping around happily.
Today, the sun is shining and it’s very warm. There are no clouds in the bright, blue sky either.
We walk in silence, until he leads me through a grassy path between two run-down buildings.
“Oliver…where are we?”
“This is the original part of Northwood. Not many people live here anymore and that’s why many of the buildings are falling down.”
When we come out of the path between the buildings, there’s a wooden fence. And beyond the fence, a field of grass with trees and bushes in the distance.
“This I like to call Oliver’s field.” He smiles, waving his arm dramatically to show the area.
“It looks like home. All I’ve seen since I’ve been here are buildings in every area.”
“Yes well, all towns and cities end somewhere.” He lets out a breath, then starts walking toward the fence. I notice it’s broken in some spots.
Oliver lifts himself over the fence until he’s on the other side. He then lifts up a broken board, allowing me to step over it.
I take his hand and carefully climb over. The grass is long and comes up past my ankles.
“Does anyone live here?”
He chuckles. “Not that I know of.”
“Oliver,” I hiss. “What if someone lives—”
“Lydia. It’s fine.” Oliver smiles. “I’ve been coming here since I was twelve and haven’t seen anyone.”
Letting out a long breath, I take Oliver’s hand as we walk through the long grass until we reach an area where the grass is packed down. Oliver sits down, and I do the same.
The birds sing and the wind rustles the long grass. It sounds like home.
“This is lovely.”
He nods. “The quietest place in Northwood.”
“It sounds like what I’m used to back home.”
After a short pause, Oliver’s eyes meet mine. “Did you get to visit your grandma?”
“No. I’ve been a little busy.” I smile, rolling my eyes.
“Yes. I suppose you have.” He laughs, lying down, folding his arms under his head.
We begin to talk about our families. He tells me his father came for more money a few days ago.
We visit and talk for hours it seems. And I feel grateful I’m not sick anymore. Otherwise I’d miss out on spending time with him and with the peacefulness of this field.
Chapter 25
I’m back home now, sitting in my room, working on my weaving. Oliver had walked me home around four o’clock. And I’d had supper with everyone at five.
My fingers fumble on the thread a few times, and I can tell I haven’t practiced in a while. Soon, though, the steadiness I’m used to comes back.
There’s a soft knock on the door before it opens.
Jane smiles, making her way to where I’m sitting by the window. “While you were recovering this week, you received a letter.”
I take it from her and smile. “Thank you.”
Once she’s gone, I open the envelope carefully and pull out the folded-up papers inside.
Dear Lydia,
Oliver sounds like a very nice man. And luncheon will be so much fun. Well, I suppose it’s already happened by now. So, are you two in love? It’s probably been a week or so since your luncheon, unless this letter arrives late. I haven’t told anyone else about your luncheon though, since you marked it for only me to read.
And going to Ma’s childhood home seems so much fun. Thank you for describing it for me. I wish I could’ve seen it too. I told everyone about it. Darlene is really happy you’re enjoying yourself.
Mrs. Taylor sounds like such a kind lady. And the way you describe her baking makes me hungry. Speaking of baking, I’ve sort of taken it up.
I think Pa is going to yell at me soon, though. I’ve got cookies everywhere, and cakes and pies. I mean I’ve always loved baking, but now that you’re not here, I’m so bored. So I bake. It’s odd isn’t it?
Darlene also wanted to send you a letter, so I’ve put it in this envelope too.
I miss seeing you. I write all of this out and know that you won’t be able to read it for at least a week. And then a week until I get to read your letter. It’s so odd. We’ve always been inseparable. Growing up, we never left each other’s sides. Or not that often anyway.
I sometimes think I should’ve come with you. It could’ve been our adventure. But I know this is your adventure. Your chance to find yourself, and I want you to be happy, Lydia.
Come home soon, though, okay? Because I really need to hug you and see your face again.
Love you. I hope you’re doing well.
Love, Hazel.
I feel a tear run down my face, I miss her too. So very much.
I then read the other letter from Darlene.
Dearest Lydia,
I wanted to write to you and send it with Hazel’s letter.
I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you. Hazel told us all about how you’ve made friends and explored. I knew this would be good for you.
I don’t know if you noticed this, but when you were with Hazel here, you let her talk for you. I understand that, and I feel like now if Hazel were with you, you’d be able to have your own voice. I feel that you’ve grown up a little out there.
Ma always knew what was best for us, didn’t she? Even if it was years into the future, she knew you needed this, Lydia.
I’m doing well, don’t worry about me. I promise as soon as I have the baby, Hazel will let you know.
However, I haven’t told anyone except Robert this. And now you, but I think the baby is going to come sooner than I first thought. I’m as big as I was with Alice and Levi. And it’s as painful too. I remember when I began having this much discomfort, they both came within the next few weeks.
I think it will be soon. Robert and I have picked out a few names. If it’s a boy, he will be called Charles. And if it’s a girl, Elsie. After Ma.
Anyway, I love you very much. And seeing Ma’s old house must have been so interesting.
Love always, Darlene.
I immediately write back to my family, telling Hazel she can tell everyone about Oliver because I’m still seeing him and also explaining how I was sick these past two weeks. I also write about going to Autumer School and everything I got to see there. I’m sure to tell Darlene to get lots of rest.
I soon have the letter finished and put into an envelope.
As it gets darker outside, I work on my weaving until only the glow from the gas light allows me to see.
Jane came up about an hour ago, but I told her she could go to sleep and I could get ready later.
When I’m tired enough, I set my weaving down on the table and get ready for bed. Dressed and with my hair unpinned, I lift the thick covers, and climb underneath.
They’re clean ones now, and I’m relieved.
Not long afterward, with much thought of my family, and even Oliver, I feel myself drifting into a dark slumber.
Chapter 26
I wake up to the sound of Jane bustling around my room. I watch as she takes the letter off the table and puts it in her apron.
“Thank you,” I say, rubbing my eyes and yawning.
“Oh, you’re awake. What are you going to do today then?”
Sitting up, I think for a few seconds. “I think I’ll go to see my grandma.”
“Okay, probably just something simple then. How about this pink skirt with the grey blouse?”
“Perfect.” I smile, moving to get out of bed.
I think of when I last saw my grandma. I haven’t seen her since I was about fifteen. I remember she’d always been able to tell the best stories. I think today will be a nice, simple day.
Dressed now, and in the carriage, I gave the chauffeur the directions Pa had written down for me. I’m a little nervous. Grandma doesn’t even know I’m here in Northwood or that I’m coming to see her.
I feel bad for her. She lives alone. My grandfather died a few years after my ma did. And only one of her children, Beatrice, ended up staying in Northwood.
We stop moving, and I’m helped out. I’ve never been to grandma’s house before. It was always easier for her to come to us, rather than my large family travel all the way to see her.
It’s a small wooden house, with two windows looking out onto the street.
“When shall I come get you, Miss Lydia?” the chauffeur asks, shutting the carriage door.
“Three hours should be right. Thank you.”
He nods, before climbing back into the driver’s seat, the reins in his hands.
I don’t look back as I make my way toward the door. I go to knock, but hesitate, will she even remember me?
Forcing that thought out of my head, I gather enough courage to knock on the door.
No one comes at first, until the door eventually opens. And standing in front of me, her hair gray and her blue eyes soft, is my grandma. Just the way I remember her.
She furrows her eyebrows. “Lydia? Is it really you?”
“Yes, grandma. It is. And I’ve got a lot to tell you.” I smile as she lets me inside.
* * *
I’ve explained everything to Grandma. She started to cry a little, and I did too. Now we’ve been visiting, I’ve told her about how my sisters are doing as well.
The three hours seem to go by so fast. We talked so much and it’s hard to remember all that we discussed. She did most of the talking. Telling me stories of Ma when she was a child, and also asking me questions about home and me.
When the chauffeur knocks on the door, I don’t want to
leave, but I hug her tightly.
“Thank you for coming to see me, dear. Do come and see me again before you go back home.”
“I will, Grandma. I’m glad we got to visit. I’m sorry I have to leave so soon.”
“It’s all right. Your mother would have been so proud of you. I hope you know that.”
I feel tears start to run down my face. “Thank you, Grandma. I do hope she would be.”
Making my way outside, I look back to the house and at my grandma standing in the doorway. I wave once before I’m helped up into the carriage.
And as we begin making our way back home, I smile, knowing my ma is proud of me. At least I hope she is.
* * *
I’m sitting in my room and as usual, I don’t know where anyone is.
I’ve been here for a while, just reading a book and looking out the large window.
Hearing a knock on the door, I set my book down on the table. “Come in.”
The door opens, revealing Josephine. Why is she here?
Her eyes are red and swollen. Has she been crying?
I stand. “Josephine. Are you all right?”
She begins to cry, and I’m not sure what exactly I should do. I gently place my hand on her back, guiding her to sit on the bed.
“I’m sorry.” She sighs, wiping at her eyes. “I didn’t know who else to come to. No one else will understand me, Lydia.”
“What’s going on?” I ask, sitting down next to her.
“It’s my father. He’s been wanting me to marry one of his friend’s sons. The man he wants me to marry is nice enough, but I don’t think I’d be happy. His name is Edgar. He says marrying him will secure me for life. Father said I will have a high status and live a wealthy life. He said he’s trying to help me.”
I can tell she’s not done, as tears stream down her face.
“And the thing is, I’m in love with someone else. Someone my family won’t approve of. I met him at the flea market a few months ago. I’ve been spending most of my afternoons going for walks with him and…anyway. He’s a baker. But my family would never approve.”
The Letter (Carter Sisters Series Book 4) Page 11
