by Shelly Bell
He shoved her against the back of the couch, the bulge of his erection prodding her butt. “He said he spent the night. Did you fuck him?”
Liquid heat pooled between her thighs. Curious how he’d respond, she decided to spur his ire. “What do you care? Last night you practically had one foot out the door before I’d finished coming.”
He yanked her hands behind her and pressed closer, imprisoning her. Her breath caught in her throat from the shock of his rough treatment.
Demonstrating his strength, he gripped both of her wrists with one of his large hands. The other slid under her tank and up her abdomen, between her tingling breasts, and up to her neck. He wasn’t gentle as he twisted her by the chin to look at him. “I still feel your hot pussy clenching around my cock. Smell your honey on my fingers. Not twelve hours ago, I was deep inside you. Do you know what that means?”
“Yes. I know what that means,” she said breathlessly. “Nothing. It means nothing.”
His lips curled into a snarl. “It means you belong to me. I won’t share you, Katerina.”
With Jax at her back, she didn’t know what she felt for Nick. She only knew she’d go insane if he didn’t fuck her soon.
She bucked against his hold in a half-hearted attempt for release. “I’m not a possession, a little doll you take off the shelf to play with when you get horny and then reshelf and forget when you’ve had your fill.”
He laughed and bit her earlobe, tugging on it until she cried out. “I’ll never have my fill of you. Before last night, I’d been celibate for eighteen months. I tried to be gentle with you because you deserve to be treated like the fragile doll you are. I don’t want to break you, Katerina. I thought I could be someone else for you, but it’s not in my nature anymore. That’s why I left.”
Her body turned to rubber, pliant under his hands. “And now?”
“I can’t stay away. Since you walked into the interrogation room at the police station, I’ve wanted to make you mine. My wife’s blood was still on my hands, and I was fantasizing about cuffing you to the goddamn table and fucking you then and there. Is that the kind of monster you want?”
Unlike her, he’d never taken a life. Jax didn’t know he held a real monster in his arms.
“You’re not a monster, and I’m not made of glass. You won’t break me,” she asserted, although she wasn’t as sure about her heart. “Touch me the way you want. Show me what it’s like to belong to you.”
He kicked her legs farther apart. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
She tilted her head back to rest on his chest. “I know how safe I feel when I’m in your arms, and I trust you to honor my limits. But if you’re going to change your mind again or call me a mistake, you need to walk away now. Just because I don’t shed tears doesn’t mean I’m not crying inside.”
Digging deep, she found the courage to admit the truth and laid her heart at his feet. “You leaving like that last night hurt me. I’d busted in on my best friend fucking my boyfriend and received a threatening phone call, but neither one of those things pierced my heart like you did when you walked out my door. I’m tough, Jax. I can hold my own in a fight, walk in a straight line after drinking half a fifth of gin, and fix the engine of my Harley, but damn it, I don’t think I can protect my heart from you. So I’m adding a hard limit. No changing your mind tomorrow based on some martyr complex in an effort to protect me.”
She twisted to look him in the eyes. “You asked me if I’d been touched by violence. Yeah, I have. But it’s not the violence that haunts me. It’s what happens after.”
Chapter Five
HOLDING HER BREATH, she closed her eyes and waited for his response. Would he accept the new hard limit?
Warm lips feathered across her mouth. “Remember your safe word?”
She met his gaze. “Gunshot or red.”
He slid his fingers into her hair close to her scalp and pulled, yanking her head back to expose her jugular. In an animalistic display of his dominance, his other hand remained wrapped around the front of her neck. He could crush her throat or squeeze it to cut off her air supply. She couldn’t fight back. He had total control.
Like the last puzzle piece locking into place, the credo “safe, sane, consensual” now made complete sense to her. This was BDSM. A mutual exchange of power based on trust. In handing her will over to Jax, she had to trust him to keep her safe. And she did. She trusted him with her body.
She surrendered.
A warm, floating feeling enveloped her. All her muscles relaxed, and she breathed easy.
“Good girl,” he whispered in her ear.
While normally she’d give a man hell for calling her a girl, she preened under his compliment.
Applying firm pressure to her neck, he directed her through the living room, down the hall, and into her bedroom. Before this moment, she’d thought wearing a collar and being led by a leash was degrading, but now she understood its appeal. It was more than a sign of ownership or submission. A leash would substantiate the invisible line tying her to Jax. He moved and she automatically followed.
A giggle escaped. Did she really want Jax to lead her by a leash like a pet?
“Something funny?” he asked, bending her over the edge of the mattress, one hand high on her back, pressing her into the soft blanket.
His rough hands forced down her pants, the air cool on her overheated skin. The heady rush of surrender pounded hot in her veins, desire sweet and thick, almost tangible. As tangible as the fabric-covered, steely erection brushing against her naked hip. She could taste it on her tongue. Her body was like a wire, coiled tight. And if he didn’t touch her soon, she’d snap.
“No, Jax. There’s nothing funny about this.”
His fingers, so deft and light she almost believed she imagined them, wandered down her backside. She squirmed, her pussy clenching with aching need. Nothing he could do to her would hurt as much as making her wait.
He pinched her thigh. “Stay still, Katerina.”
She sucked in a breath, grateful for the pain, which anchored her. “Yes, Jax.”
He cupped her between her thighs. “I do like these panties. I think I’ll keep them.” He wrenched them away from her body with a loud rip, the crotch of her underwear swiping her pulsing clit in the process.
She shouldn’t like this. Shouldn’t want this. Grown women shouldn’t enjoy being told what to do. What kind of a person craved pain?
She did. Craved it like an addict for her choice of substance. She’d tried alcohol. Drugs. Sex. But nothing flew her higher than pain.
For so long, it was her dirty little secret.
As a teen she’d leave the bottom of her palm over the flame of a candle for a bit too long. Dribble hot wax on her forearm. Stick safety pins into the pads of her fingers to draw blood. Pain provided a momentary escape from reality and, at the same time, centered her.
He laid a hand at the top of her spine, holding her in place. His breaths came heavy and quick.
“How are we going to do this without your toys?” she asked.
“I don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars when everything I could ever need can be found around the house. Stay still and no talking unless you need to use your safe word.”
The first smack on her ass surprised her. “Ow,” she cried out even though it didn’t hurt.
He laughed and slapped her other cheek, this time harder. “I said no talking.” This time his hand lit her ass on fire in its burning intensity. He didn’t pause between smacks, raining blows from the top of her cheeks to her upper thighs.
She dug her fingers into the comforter and focused on not moving. She’d prove she could handle whatever he doled out.
After a few minutes, the tingling sensation caused by the spanking of her skin morphed into one giant ball of heat, and she realized she no longer registered it as pain. Her ass throbbed and, God, so did her pussy. It was as if she’d grown a beating heart between her legs.
Ja
x growled as he continued his pleasurable assault on her ass. She sank into the cushion of her bed, her body buzzing.
She needed to come. All she’d have to do was grind her pelvis into the mattress and she’d go off like a grenade. But something held her back. Jax hadn’t given her permission to climax, and although he hadn’t forbidden it, she wanted to please him.
The spanking stopped and his hand lifted from her spine.
Would he fuck her now?
A scratching up and down her backside revived the numb nerve endings and intensified the heat caused by his blows. Moaning, she bucked, although she wasn’t sure if it was to escape or to ask for more.
He palmed the back of her neck, holding her in place. “No moving. I bet you didn’t know your brush could be used for more than hair.”
Each bristle felt like a tiny pin poking into her sensitive skin. Breathing deep, she relaxed her body once again and surrendered to the sensation. But as soon as she began to float, Jax startled her with more smacks on her behind. This time, the whacks stung.
Damn him. He was using the wooden side of her brush.
And damn her.
She loved it.
He rubbed his hands on her bottom, soothing the sting. “You took it well, Katerina. You made me proud.” His fingers probed between her cheeks, and she shivered at the intimacy. “Good subs deserve a reward.”
Air blew on her exposed folds as he moved away from her. Her arousal coated her thighs.
He opened her nightstand and pulled out her vibrator. “It’s a bit thicker than the average Popsicle, isn’t it?” He held it up as if admiring it, a playful grin on his face.
What the hell did she need a vibrator for when she had his cock?
She lifted her head. “Was that rhetorical or should I answer?”
“I have a feeling you and a ball gag are going to become good friends.”
“Shutting up now.”
He laughed again, and it occurred to her how much fun she was having. They were playing a game, and the reward would be an orgasm for them both.
Why would he ever hide this part of him? It was as if she alone got to see the real Jax. A man full of sensuality, mystery, and playfulness.
“Let’s see if you can stay quiet now,” he taunted.
The whirring of her vibrator filled the room, and the excitement of the unknown made her entire body hum.
He trailed the toy down her spine and then spanked her lightly. “Lift up.”
Without thought, she raised her pelvis, keeping her hands resting on the mattress. He slid the toy under her and spread the lips of her pussy so the vibrator bumped directly against her swollen clit. A yelp escaped before she could stop it, and he pinched her sore ass. Hard.
“Feel free to come as many times as you want, so long as you stay quiet.”
His permission brought the simmering arousal to a full boil. Her toes pointed and every muscle in her body tensed as her pussy clenched and released over and over in one of the strongest orgasms of her life. She cried out, the vibrator too much on her sensitive clit.
He pinched her thigh and tsked. “I thought I told you to be quiet. Now I have to keep it there until you learn. But I don’t think I should be punished for your insolence.”
She bit her bottom lip to keep from speaking. The pain of his pinch momentarily eased the uncomfortable throbbing in her clitoris. She didn’t move, but she heard the swish of his clothing falling to the floor and the tearing of what she guessed was a condom wrapper.
He leaned over her back, pushing her pelvis onto the vibrator. The copper taste of her lip’s blood hit her tongue.
Could she die from pleasure? If so, she didn’t stand a chance with Jax.
His cock brushed against her ass before it dipped lower to her soaked pussy. Jax rubbed it up and down her slit. “Your cunt is quite a sight. Those glistening pink folds begging for my cock.” He thrust into her, his length sliding against that electric spot high inside her, awakening the nerves in her soaked channel.
This wasn’t making love. He fucked her and fucked her hard. His fingers dug into her hips as he slammed himself in and out of her with brutal efficacy, using her body to get himself off.
Her second orgasm loomed just out of reach, building like a crescendo. Her abdominal muscles tightened and everything disappeared except the slide of Jax’s cock across her G-spot. Faster and faster.
Relentless.
Powerful.
And for the moment—hers.
The combination of the vaginal stimulation along with the vibration on her clit sent her soaring. Desperate to please him and end the forced orgasms, she clenched her teeth and held her breath as the contractions went on and on and on.
But he didn’t stop. Didn’t slow. Didn’t acknowledge her climax. He continued thrusting into her pussy with deliberation, dragging himself across her nerve-laden tissue.
“No more,” she begged. “You may have missed it, but I stayed quiet through my orgasm, Jax.”
“If you stayed quiet, what’s that noise I hear?”
“That’s not fair,” she whined breathlessly.
“Who’s in control, Katerina?”
“You, Jax.”
“I say it’s perfectly fair. Give me another one. And this time, stay quiet until I permit otherwise.”
Internally, she growled with indignation. But she wouldn’t fail again. If Jax wanted another orgasm from her, she’d give him one. She’d give him twenty if it was his will. Good thing she excelled under pressure.
The friction of the vibrator on her clitoris burned. Her head demanded she shout her safe word to end the pain, but her body refused to surrender to any demand other than Jax’s.
If she were truly in pain, would her arousal drip from her legs? If she couldn’t take any more, would her pussy tremble as another climax began to build?
She had to prove to Jax that she could accept his dark needs. Didn’t he understand her needs were just as dark?
She closed her eyes and ceased her battle for control. Her fingers went lax and she turned her head, resting her cheek on the blanket. The sensation of floating on clouds returned. It was as if she’d taken an extra dose of her antianxiety meds and then drunk an entire bottle of gin—but without the nausea. Warm maple syrup replaced the blood in her veins. She was high. Higher than she’d ever flown.
On some level she registered Jax’s fingers digging into her ass, pinching and massaging, yet part of her consciousness was no longer inside her body. It hovered right outside her physical shell, making room for Jax’s powerful energy to burrow a place inside her soul.
Had she really thought they were only playing wicked games? How could she have gone her whole life never knowing this feeling could exist?
He pulled his cock from her body, but she didn’t move a muscle. Didn’t make a sound. A jingle of metal sounded a second before the whack of his leather belt seared the flesh of her butt cheek. Her vaginal walls rippled in a mini-orgasm, but she remained quiet and still. He whipped the other cheek and then smacked the sensitive flesh of her upper thighs, one after the other, without a moment’s rest.
He stopped, and the belt clanged to the floor. The scent of pine intensified as he dropped his chest to her back and breathed heavily in her ear.
Had he come?
Was it over?
She didn’t dare ask. He hadn’t given her permission.
His tongue laved the shell of her ear, and he nibbled on her lobe.
Oh, she liked that.
His teeth grazed her neck down to her collarbone. He was an untamed wild jungle cat toying with its food, and she was the main course.
Both his hands wrapped around her neck and squeezed. A couple more contractions fluttered in her pussy. Jax wouldn’t abuse her trust. To demonstrate her submission, she relaxed her neck even further, pushing her trachea into the cup of his hands. He emitted a tremulous sigh.
He raked the fingers of one hand into her hair and snapped her neck back, si
nking his teeth into the flesh of her neck hidden by her hair and holding her prisoner with his bite. His other hand slid down her backside to her labia, and he plunged his fingers into her depths. Once. Twice. Then they were gone, and his fingers delved between the cheeks of her bottom, saturating the skin there with her arousal. He released his bite, moved off her back to stand behind her, and spread her cheeks.
He hadn’t lied when he said he’d see and touch her most intimate places.
While she’d experimented with anal sex in the past, the men hadn’t inspected the area as she sensed Jax was doing at the moment. Yet she wasn’t embarrassed. He wanted to see what he controlled, and her sole job was to submit to his perusal without hesitation. Besides, she didn’t have anything he hadn’t seen before.
A finger breached the entrance, slowly exploring the passage, sliding back and forth. It burned slightly, but no more than her poor abused clitoris. He added a second finger, and then the burn transformed into a blazing fire, the fullness strange and, at the same time, excruciatingly pleasurable. His other hand continued to tug her by her hair, and he plunged his penis back inside her, ramping up the heat to nuclear proportions.
The dual sensations of his fingers in her backside and his cock in her narrowed vagina, as well as the tingling pain of her scalp, sent her hurtling into outer space. Her orgasm began deep inside her pussy and, like a bomb, exploded, spiraling outward. The spasms travelled to her ass, clenching around his fingers, up to her pelvis, her abdomen, her nipples, and down her thighs to her calves and to her toes.
Although inside her head she screamed loud enough for her father to hear her in heaven, not a single peep fell from her lips.
Jax, on the other hand, cried out her name as he finally came, pumping his cock and fingers through the very last spurt of his release.
He withdrew his fingers and loosened his grip on her hair. Unable to control her muscles, her head fell forward on the mattress. His softened cock slipped out of her channel, leaving her physically empty of his presence, but she still felt his energy inside of her, as if he’d clamped onto part of her soul and had refused to let go.
