by Lauren Layne
So she texted, Get back here ASAP.
Before she could say more, there was a knock at the door, quiet but quick, as though the person on the other side was freaking out.
Taylor opened the door to a gorgeous blonde and…a baby.
“Oh! Hi,” the woman said, giving Taylor a once-over that wasn’t quite unfriendly but was telling all the same. No doubt about it—this woman had once considered Nick her turf.
Taylor looked right back, not exactly loving that the woman was so pretty. Her hair was straight and light blond, almost white, her eyes blue and friendly. She had a smattering of freckles that gave her a friendly, girl-next-door approach, but the curvy body was all Marilyn Monroe–esque.
Well done, Ballantine.
“I didn’t realize he was living with someone.” The woman didn’t smile.
“Just a roommate,” Taylor said, wondering if letting this woman up had been a bad idea. “You said you had an emergency? I’m so sorry, but he’s not here.”
The woman’s face crumpled for a second in anxious misery as she juggled the increasingly fussy baby from one hip to the other.
Taylor knew next to nothing about babies, but she could see that this one was cute. A girl, judging from the pink dress and ruffled socks. Not a newborn, but not a toddler either.
“Crap,” the girl said. “Crap crap crap.”
The baby started to cry.
“Are you okay?” Taylor asked. “Do you want to come in?”
The woman shook her head, but her eyes were watering. “I don’t have time, it’s just…I just got a call that my mom had a stroke, and I need to get out to Jersey, and this little cutie’s barely gotten over a nasty cold, and I hate the idea of taking her into the hospital with all the germs….”
“Okay,” Taylor said, understanding, but not following how this involved Nick.
Unless…Taylor’s heart stopped for a minute. There was only one reason she could think of that a woman would assume Nick Ballantine would watch her baby: if it was also his baby.
She couldn’t breathe. He would have told her, right?
Would he have, though?
They weren’t sleeping together. Were barely friends.
Oh my God.
“I don’t have anyone else to watch her,” the woman was saying. “I thought Nick—”
Crap. The woman was really desperate. It was written all over her devastated face.
Oh, man. You’re about to owe me so big, Ballantine.
Taylor had a suspicion she would regret what she was about to do, but really, what other choice was there?
Gorgeous ex-baby-mama of Nick’s or not, the woman was clearly in a tough spot, and Taylor knew all too well the heartbreaking anxiety of learning a loved one was in the hospital.
“I’m sure Nick will be back soon,” Taylor said hesitantly. “If you want, I guess I could watch her until he gets here?”
The woman visibly slumped in relief. “Oh my God. Would you? I know you don’t know me, but you’d be doing me such a big favor, you have no idea.”
She was already handing over the baby, who was still crying, but more of a fussy what’s happening? whimper than a full-on wail. Taylor had a sense that wouldn’t last long.
“She’s super easy,” the woman said, dropping the bag inside the door. “Everything you need’s in there. Diapers, toys, Cheerios. There’s a bottle in there too, but only give her that if she refuses to drink from the sippy—I’m trying to switch her over.”
The woman reached for Taylor’s phone, which was still unlocked, and entered her phone number.
“I just texted myself from your phone, so you have my number,” she said, holding out Taylor’s phone. Taylor somehow figured out how to hold that and not drop the baby.
Going well so far. You’ve got this, Carr.
“I really need to run, but I’ll text you anything else I can think of. Nick’ll know what to do when he gets here.”
“Um, sure,” Taylor said, trying not to panic.
The other woman stepped forward and made kissing noises on the baby’s cheek before giving Taylor a quick squeeze. “Thank you. Seriously. You have no idea.”
“Wait!” Taylor said as the other woman started to turn and close the door.
The woman paused.
Is this Nick’s baby?
She didn’t ask that. But boy, would she have questions for Nick when he got home.
“How about a name?” Taylor asked.
The woman let out a quick laugh. “Right. Sorry. I’m Kelsey Young. And that little sweetie you’re holding is my daughter. Hannah.”
Chapter 20
Nick was just about at the age where he remembered a time before cellphones, but not all that well.
By the time he’d gotten to college, most everyone had one, and he, like most people, had learned to rely on it. For everything.
He’d have liked to say he wasn’t the type of guy who immediately ran to the Apple Store after his iPhone met with an unfortunate demise on the floor of the gym, but…
Well, he was exactly that guy.
And the Apple Store had been busy, as it usually was, so although he’d only been without the phone for a couple of hours, it felt like an eternity.
All he wanted was to get back to the apartment, pour some Blanton’s, and set up the new phone.
And maybe see if Taylor was in the mood to fool around, because ever since he’d fingered her up against the door in a public restroom, he’d had a nonstop hard-on that no amount of solo action would appease.
He shifted the white Apple bag to his left hand and fished his keys out of his pocket, opening the door to the apartment.
He froze.
Of all the things Nick had thought he would never see in his life, the sight in front of him was at the top of the list.
Taylor Carr sat in the middle of their living room floor wearing one high-heeled shoe, the other nowhere to be found. She was still in her work outfit, but what had probably been a very clean lavender dress not long ago was now adorned with some sort of goop on the shoulder.
Her hair was disheveled, her face marked with panic, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why.
A screaming baby wiggled in her arms.
Taylor’s wide eyes met his, relief flooding her face. “Oh, thank God. She won’t stop!”
Nick was crouched at her side in an instant, immediately lifting the baby to his shoulder, then standing once more and beginning the gentle bouncing motion he knew that babies—this baby in particular—adored.
Hannah stopped crying immediately.
“Hey, darling,” he said, pressing his lips to the baby’s smooth cheek and trying to ward off the flood of emotion that rocked through him.
Damn Kelsey. Damn Kelsey for putting him through this, for reminding him…
Belatedly he remembered Taylor. When he looked down, he saw her staring up at him in shock. Whether it was over his familiarity with the baby or the fact that there was a baby in his arms at all, he couldn’t be sure.
Nick settled Hannah in his right arm and reached down with his left hand for Taylor. She took it and let him haul her up.
She teetered on her one heel before bending down to remove it. She glanced around in vain for the other, then gave up and tossed the shoe aside.
“How’d you do that?” she asked in wonder. “I’ve been trying to get her to quiet down for forty-five minutes!”
Nick winced. Of all the days for his phone to go to shit.
He gave her the quick version on his phone trauma before tilting his head toward where Hannah was poking a chubby finger against his cheek. “Where the hell is Kelsey?”
Taylor’s nose scrunched. “Are you supposed to swear in front of a baby?”
“Yeah, well, it’d serve her mother right if her first word was four letters,” he muttered.
“Hannah’s grandmother had a stroke,” Taylor said, plunging her fingers into her hair, as though trying to gather her thoughts. �
�Kelsey said she had to get out to Jersey, didn’t want to take Hannah because of hospital germs or something.”
Nick nodded, making a blowing noise on the baby’s fingers that had her giggling wildly. His heart twisted at the sound. She was nearly nine months now, and it hurt a little to see how much she’d grown. Changed. And he hadn’t been there for any of it.
Her tears long gone, Hannah squirmed to be set down, and Nick obliged, experiencing another bittersweet pang when he saw that she was crawling now, a fast-paced wiggle that made him smile.
Nick followed her around the room, keeping her out of trouble, all while keeping an eye on Taylor.
“Nick,” Taylor said quietly.
Here it comes.
He met her gaze head on as Hannah stopped to sit down and inspect a coaster. “Yeah?”
“Is this…” Taylor swallowed. “Is Hannah your daughter?”
The words still hurt. Months later, they still hurt.
He slowly shook his head. “No.”
She looked from him to the baby, then back again. “Then why…why you? I got the impression Kelsey was an ex, so why would she assume you’d babysit a child that wasn’t yours?”
Nick knelt, ran a hand over Hannah’s silky light brown hair. “Because up until the time Hannah was three months old, I thought she was mine.”
—
“I’m not going to lie,” Taylor whispered. “She’s way easier when she’s asleep.”
Nick smiled as he looked down at where Hannah’s cheek rested on Taylor’s shoulder.
“Seems she likes you.”
Taylor snorted. “Yeah, pretty sure that’s not it. She’s just exhausted from screaming before you got here.”
Nick was giving her a studying look that made her squirm. “Not a baby person?”
“Do I look like a baby person?” Taylor asked. She tried to keep her voice light, but in her head she kept replaying the conversation with Jessica. About how Bradley’s reason for going back to Jess was that he wanted a family.
It hurt a little that he’d apparently changed his mind about wanting kids. And rather than even considering that Taylor might be able to change hers too, he had simply moved on to another woman.
Not just that. A different type of woman. One who was gentle, and kind, and motherly….
Taylor realized she’d been rubbing a hand over Hannah’s back, the gesture instinctive, but did babies even like this? She gave Nick a quick self-conscious glance to see if he’d noticed. To see if he was judging her for being almost unbearably awkward around small humans.
His smile was gentle. “You look an awful lot like a baby person at this moment,” he said quietly.
“It’ll pass.”
Nick reached out a hand, touched a strand of Taylor’s hair. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Shut down any insinuation that you might be kind.”
“Just because I’m not motherly doesn’t mean I’m not kind,” she said, more harshly than she intended.
“Agreed,” he said slowly. “I just meant you seem pretty determined to convince me you’re not good at this.”
She sighed and tried to shift to a more comfortable position on the couch without waking Hannah. “I’ve never really been the maternal type. It’s not in my blood.”
“Explain.”
“Well, let’s see,” she said with a bitter little smile. “My own mother got knocked up accidentally, tried to do the mom thing for all of two years, and then left. My only other female relative did her duty raising me the best she could, but let’s just say there were no bedtime stories, no mommy-daughter picnics.”
“That’s on them,” Nick said with a shrug. “Not you.”
“Look, can you please spare me the whole magic-of-motherhood speech?” she said testily. “I’m so sick of people in this day and age acting like a woman’s worth lies in her uterus. I don’t want kids. End of story.”
She felt weird as she said it, but she’d been repeating it so often to herself, it just…came out.
He gave her a look that said, I don’t think so, but he nodded. “Fair enough, Carr.”
Hannah made a sleepy sound that softened the tension in the room, and after a few moments of silence Taylor rested her head on the back of the couch and turned her face toward Nick. “What about you? You want to be a dad?”
His eyes were trained on Hannah, his expression so sad Taylor felt a lump in her throat at the longing.
“Yeah,” he said, a little gruffly. “Hell yeah.”
She nodded, his emphatic response bothering her more than she cared to admit, even to herself.
But it made sense. Nick was the kind of stable, protective guy who’d make an amazing father. Not to mention he had a great relationship with his family, and his own mother had had five kids. Sheesh. Taylor couldn’t even handle one for a single evening.
But it was a little reminder that she and Nick, whatever this thing they had going on right now, weren’t meant to be forever. He’d settle down with some nice girl who’d give him babies and make casseroles, and Taylor would be…
Well, like Karen, probably. Driven. Ambitious.
Alone.
He’d gotten his new phone all set up while she’d fed Hannah earlier, and now his phone buzzed. He glanced at it. “Kelsey just got off the train. She should be here in ten minutes.”
Taylor nodded. “Thank goodness. I need to get some sleep. Can I hand her off?”
“Sure, of course.”
Taylor meant to hand Hannah over immediately and retreat to her bedroom, where she could think about…things.
Instead she found herself rubbing a finger over the baby’s soft cheek. “Bye, baby,” she whispered. “Sorry we got off to a rough start.”
She carefully avoided Nick’s eyes as she gave him Hannah, who stirred only a little at being shifted from Taylor’s shoulder to Nick’s much broader one.
“See you in the morning,” she said softly to Nick.
He nodded but didn’t speak.
Taylor headed toward her room, unable to resist taking one last peek at the hot guy cradling the tiny baby.
Her heart ached for him. He’d shut her down when she’d tried to get more information, and she was dying to know how the heck Kelsey could have let Nick think a baby was his and then take it away from him.
How had he been able to bear it?
Taylor was in the bathroom brushing her teeth when she heard the quiet knock at the door, the soft voices.
The exchange didn’t take long. By the time she’d washed her face and come out of the bathroom, there was no sign of Hannah and Kelsey. No sign of Nick either.
Taylor changed into a pink nightgown and crawled into bed.
She knew the second her head touched the pillow that sleep was a long way off.
She tried to force it, but every time she closed her eyes she kept seeing Nick’s face when she’d asked if Hannah was his.
Kept hearing his response. Up until the time Hannah was three months old, I thought she was mine.
And tonight he’d had to relive that pain all over again.
Taylor flung back the covers and got out of bed. She might not be motherly.
But she was good at other things.
Nick’s door was closed, and no light came from underneath it. She opened it slowly. “Nick?”
He lay on his back, hands locked behind his head, gazing at the ceiling. The blankets were around his waist, his chest bare.
She couldn’t see his expression in the darkness, but she saw him turn his head in her direction. Knew he was awake.
“What, Carr?”
His voice was cool, the message clear: Go away.
But Taylor knew a little something about pushing people away when you were hurting. Knew that it rarely worked out as well as you hoped.
She also knew what it was like when someone pushed through the stubbornness. Held you through your pain anyway.
Nick had done that once fo
r her, so…
Before she could chicken out, Taylor crossed to his bed and, uninvited, slipped beneath the covers.
“Really?” he muttered as she cuddled closer, resting her cheek on his chest, her arm curling around his waist.
She braced herself for him to pull away, kick her out. She wouldn’t blame him if he did.
Instead, after a moment of stillness, he moved his hand to the back of her head, and his fingers began idly playing with a strand of her hair.
“This is the part where I ask you if you want to talk, and you growl no, but tell me anyway,” she whispered.
Nick let out a small laugh. “Is it, now?”
Taylor nodded.
He turned his head slightly toward hers and sighed, his warm breath ruffling her hair.
“The story’s actually surprisingly short,” he said. “Kelsey and I were dating. It was serious, but not ring-shopping serious. At least until she told me she was pregnant. From the moment she told me, I was all in. But she said she didn’t want to get married just because she was pregnant. Said that we should wait, let it happen naturally. I reluctantly agreed, but we did everything else by the book—the crib shopping, the baby shower with her co-workers.”
He paused, his fingers still playing with her hair. “In hindsight, I should have realized that her insistence that I keep my own place was a warning sign, but I was so damn excited about that baby that I didn’t see it. Hannah was born, and…”
“You fell in love,” Taylor said with a little smile, her heart melting at the thought of him holding the newborn for the first time.
“Yeah,” he said a little gruffly. “I fell in love. Nothing mattered but Hannah. Not the fact that Kelsey wouldn’t marry me, or that she and I didn’t really talk beyond discussing baby formula or who needed to pick up diapers. That little munchkin was my entire world.”
“So what happened?” she asked.
He shifted beneath her. “About what you’re probably imagining. It was a Sunday morning and Kelsey had gone to brunch with her sisters. Then a guy shows up at the front door claiming that he was Hannah’s father.”
