“Boy, was she right, but it didn’t take living in Amarillo to do that,” she muttered as she looked out the kitchen window at the dormant pecan tree. That’s where she and Jace shared their first kiss and where he carved a heart with their initials into the bark. Would they cut it down when they tore down the house?
She grabbed a kitchen towel and wiped away the tears. “Okay, so he deserves answers but not today. I’ve got too much to deal with for that.”
“You okay, Mama? Sure you don’t want a sandwich?” Tilly asked as she headed toward the refrigerator.
“I’m fine, sweetheart. I’ll eat something in a little while.” The thought of any kind of food, even chocolate, turned her stomach.
“Then I’ll wait until we can eat together.” Tilly got out a juice box and carried it back to her room.
She should be taking care of Tilly’s needs, not the other way around. She was so engrossed in being mad and feeling guilty over not even thinking about Tilly’s lunch, and all the memories surrounding her, that she didn’t even hear the car outside. When someone rapped on the door, it startled her so badly that she jumped up and got a head rush. It took a moment for things to stop spinning but when she did get across the room, she found Lila Harris standing on the porch with a bag in each hand.
She threw open the door and the old-fashioned screen door and motioned Lila inside the house. “Lila Harris, I swear you haven’t changed a bit.”
“Hey, Carlene.” Lila smiled. “I’d hug you but my hands are full. I came to welcome you back to Happy and I thought you might want some food.”
Carlene followed her to the kitchen. “Thank you so much. Come in and please ignore the mess. Tilly and I’ll be workin’ all day getting things put away. And hopefully by tomorrow evening we’ll have that horrible dried-up Christmas tree out of here.”
“I don’t envy you the job of taking those ornaments off those prickly branches. Don’t let me slow you down. We can visit while you work. I’ll just put this in the fridge for you. I brought milk, bread, and containers of black-eyed peas, collard greens, and smoked ribs for your lunch and a quart of vegetable beef soup for supper. Oh, and a chunk of chocolate cake.” Lila shook her head at the brown Christmas tree. “Rosalie always did love a real tree. I remember coming here when we were in high school during the holidays for a Sunday school party. Man, she made good snickerdoodles.”
“Yes, she did.” Carlene dried her eyes again with the towel and tossed it on the cabinet. “I remember that party, but I’d forgotten that we need peas and greens for the traditional New Year’s dinner, so a double thank you, Lila,” she said. “Tilly and I will sure enjoy that. We need all the luck we can get.”
“Tilly?”
“My daughter. She’s in third grade. I’m sure she’ll come out of her room when she hears us talkin’,” Carlene answered.
“Didn’t know you had a daughter, or I’d have tucked in cookies,” Lila said as she got things put away. “I’m going to clean out this fridge for you. Everything in here is probably out of date.”
“Thanks, that’d be great. Except for the juice boxes. Tilly and I just put them in there a little while ago. Aunt Rosalie told me that you’d moved back to Happy and married Brody.” Carlene pulled the tape from another box—the one holding her books for the classroom. “We really will enjoy the home-cooked food, Lila. We were talkin’ about havin’ to go into Tulia this afternoon for a few things.”
Lila raised her voice from behind the refrigerator door. “I haven’t kept in touch at all but I do have some good memories of us hanging out with the other kids at Henry’s old barn. Did you hear that old Henry’s nephew came back to town and is engaged to my sister-in-law, Kasey? They’re planning a spring wedding.”
“Aunt Rosalie mentioned that the last time we talked.” Carlene swallowed twice before the lump in her throat disappeared. She hadn’t even cried when the lawyer called to tell her that her aunt was gone and her body had already been taken away to be donated to science but now that she was back in Happy and in Rosalie’s house, everything set off her emotions.
When the trash can was full, Lila took the whole bag out to the Dumpster and then came back in through the back door. “Can I help any other way?”
“No, that’s enough. Thank you so much.”
Lila joined Carlene in the living room, pulling the rocking chair across the floor to be closer. “Rosalie did things her way. Not even Hope crossed her, and Hope’s been the queen bee of this place for as long as I can remember.”
“That’s the gospel truth. I talked to her one Sunday like always and the next Saturday I get a phone call saying she’s passed and everything is over. I hate that there’s not even a funeral.” Carlene’s voice broke.
Lila was a head taller than Carlene and she bent to wrap her up in a hug. “Have you even had a chance to grieve yet?”
“Not really, but it hit me when I walked through the kitchen. So many memories,” Carlene answered, not willing to admit that a lot of them had to do with Jace. “That’s what funerals and family dinners are for, to remember and then to let them go. We didn’t get any of that.”
Lila leaned back in the chair and sighed. “All that didn’t help much when my dad died, or at least I didn’t think so, but looking back, maybe it did bring closure. Why don’t we ask the preacher if the congregation could sing a couple of her favorite songs on Sunday and then we could go to the ranch for dinner? It wouldn’t be a funeral or a memorial but it might help you finalize it in your mind.”
“I’d like that a lot,” Carlene said. “Thank you so much.”
Lila wore her dark hair a little longer these days, but she still had that soft Texas twang to her voice and twinkling brown eyes. Carlene was always jealous of Lila’s hair but even more of her height. She always reminded Carlene of a runway model in her tight jeans and form-fitting shirts. Back when they were all teenagers, they’d never had a dull Friday or Saturday night when Lila had been in the crowd.
“Hey, no problem. Granny Hope has been in a funk because Rosalie didn’t let them have a funeral. It’ll be good for her to have a little memorial too,” Lila said.
Carlene sighed and went back to work. “I loved this place when I was a kid. I used to think that was the good Carlene and the bad one was when we’d all get together and go out to Henry’s old barn after Aunt Rosalie and I baked goodies all day.”
“You got that right.” Lila smiled. “But we were just a bunch of bored kids who were just lookin’ for a good time in a small town.”
“Rosalie did things her way. I bet she was a force when she was young—maybe a lot like you.” Carlene pointed at Lila.
“Oh, come on now. I remember that you were pretty sassy yourself.”
Carlene finished unpacking a box and carried it over to the other side of the room. “Before I forget, congratulations on your marriage. You and Brody always did have eyes for each other, but I figured when you left it was forever and ever, amen.”
“I didn’t come back to Happy to stay, but…” Lila shrugged.
“Well, I’m here to stay until they take me to the Happy cemetery when I’m past ninety-five years old. I want Tilly to have a permanent place to call home. We moved around so much when I was growin’ up that I never had roots and never felt like I belonged anywhere until we came here. Tilly has been shifted around to four different states already. It’s time to put down roots. Livin’ in Happy was the longest my family was in one place. I don’t want that for her.”
“I lived here my whole life until I graduated from high school. Leaving was the next to the hardest thing I ever did.”
“What was the hardest?” Carlene asked.
“Comin’ back and facin’ Brody.”
Carlene’s head bobbed a couple of times in agreement. “And how did that first meeting with him go?”
“He came into the café and we flirted,” Lila said with a twinkle in her eyes. “Think you and Jace will do any flirting when you see him?”
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“I did see him. He came by earlier today, but I don’t think there was much flirting involved and most likely won’t ever be.”
She wasn’t going to admit that just seeing him had made her feel like she was that sassy teenager again who’d been late for curfew too many times when she was out at Henry’s old barn on Saturday nights with all the kids in the area.
“How’d he know I was here anyway?” Carlene asked. “It was after dark when Tilly and I got into town last night and we’re the only house on a dead-end road.”
“This is Happy. Never forget the strength of gossip.” Lila laughed. “Fred was over at the rodeo grounds and called Jace.”
“Jace told me about the plans the rodeo association has for the land,” she said. “Did you know that Aunt Rosalie was born in this house and lived right here her whole life and well, it seemed like…” Carlene wiped away another tear making its way down her cheek.
Lila reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder. “It seemed like she’d live forever, right?”
Carlene blinked back tears.
“If you need a friend, I’m here,” Lila said softly.
“Mama, I got my box of toys all put away on the bookcase in my room—” Tilly stopped as she realized her mom was with someone. “Hello, I’m Tilly Rose Varner.” She crossed the room and stuck out her hand.
Lila shook hands with her and introduced herself with only a faint gasp.
“Dawson, huh,” Tilly said. “Are you married to Jace? He came by earlier.”
“No, I’m married to his brother, Brody.” Lila stared, blinked, and then blinked several times. “Your name again?”
“Tilly. Rose. Varner,” Tilly said with a pause between each name and then turned to Carlene. “Mama, it’s goin’ to take me years to figure out everyone in this town and you said everyone knew everybody. Can I drag that box back to my room and get the last of my stuffed animals out of it?”
“Of course you can,” Carlene answered.
Tilly grabbed hold of the lightweight box and dragged it down the short hallway to her bedroom.
“Sweet Jesus!” Lila let all the air out of her lungs in a whoosh.
“That obvious, huh?” Carlene frowned.
Lila slowly shook her head. “That word doesn’t even begin to cover it. She looks exactly like Kasey except for the eyes. Those are Jace’s without a doubt.”
“When she was born, my mother took one look at her and threatened to come back here and shoot one of the Dawson brothers. I begged her to let it go because it was as much my fault as his. I didn’t want to ruin his life. Lord, we were only eighteen and he wasn’t ready to be a father. If it hadn’t been for my sister, Belinda, I don’t know that I could have managed the responsibility of being a mother. And Tilly doesn’t know. I’m hoping to break it to her in easy baby steps.”
“Why did you come back here? Everyone is going to know the minute they see those eyes,” Lila said.
“Stability for Tilly. She would have found out someday anyway, so I figured it might as well be now. And I needed a job. My school downsized and I’ve been doin’ sub work in all the area schools for the past four months. Besides, it was time for Tilly and me to get out on our own and, like I said before, put down roots.”
“When are you tellin’ her?” Lila whispered.
“I want her to have a few days to settle into another new school first,” Carlene answered. “Hopefully next weekend.”
“And Jace?”
“He knew the minute he saw her,” Carlene said.
“Well, I sure don’t envy you this next week, but like I said, if you need to talk, just give me a call. And we’ll plan on that dinner Sunday to remember Rosalie. She did love to sing and to come out to the ranch for dinner.”
“She sure did. I’ll bring snickerdoodles in her memory.” Carlene didn’t want her to go. Just having another woman there, one who understood the way things were in Happy, was comforting but she couldn’t think of a single reason to make her stay.
Lila reached out her hand. “I should be going now and let you get back to work. Give me your phone and I’ll put my number in it.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Carlene picked up her phone from the end table and handed it to Lila. “Thanks again for everything, but most of all for the visit.”
“Call me anytime you want to talk. Sometimes a woman just needs a friend. Kasey was here for me when I needed one, so I’m paying it forward. Besides, I remember that you were real good at keepin’ secrets, so I probably owe you big-time.”
“Had to be. Mama would have sent me to a convent if she’d known what we were doin’ back then.” Carlene smiled.
Chapter Three
Evidently folks were out and about early that Tuesday morning because the parking lot at the Happy Café was full. Jace pulled in beside the trucks belonging to Fred and Paul and started inside the café but when he saw the red van with a Florida tag, loaded full of boxes, he stopped in his tracks and walked around it twice. Either Carlene was leaving town or else she’d already found a place to move into.
He didn’t know if he was relieved or disappointed. What if he never really got to know his daughter?
Glancing toward the café, he could see Fred and Paul in one window and Lila carrying a coffeepot around to each booth and table. Then he looked to his left and there was Tilly, the morning sun sparkling in her red hair every time she wiggled. Carlene smiled across the table at her antics and they both sipped glasses of chocolate milk. She’d always liked chocolate—candy, milk shakes, cookies, and ice cream. He licked his lips and could almost taste her kisses after she’d finished a hot fudge sundae.
He kicked a rock, sending it flying across the parking lot, where it then hit the café porch. Dammit! Whoever said that a person never forgot their first love was a genius because the day before had proven that Jace had never completely moved past Carlene.
He pushed inside the café, waved at Fred and Paul, and glanced at Carlene and Tilly. He went straight for the counter and sat down at the bar. Without even asking, Lila poured a cup of coffee and set it before him.
“What brings you to town this morning?” she asked.
His hands trembled when he picked up the cup. “I had a meeting with the rodeo folks to discuss the new project. You workin’ all day or just through the lunch rush?”
“Molly had a doctor’s appointment. She’ll be back before noon. So.” She leaned forward on the counter. “What’re you goin’ to do about Tilly Rose Varner?”
He set the coffee down and lowered his voice to a whisper. “I don’t know yet. What’s with all the boxes in their van? Did they already find another place?”
Lila lightly touched his arm. “You two need to talk and not in a public place like this. Paul and Fred already raised eyebrows when they saw that little girl, so you can bet that your mama is goin’ to know all about her in the next half hour.”
He glanced over his shoulder and caught Carlene’s gaze. She didn’t look any too happy about him being in the café, but it wasn’t like he had a choice of a dozen restaurants in the little town of Happy. He looked back down at his coffee cup. If only it was a magic potion that could make this all disappear.
He could hear his father now: Things will never, ever be the same. You’ve got a daughter and whether she’s part of your life on a daily basis or in name only, it can’t be undone.
“Just tell me where she’s moving to, so I’ll at least know where to go to talk to her,” Jace whispered.
Lila shook her head. “That’s not for me to tell. It’s for you to ask. This is between you two, not the whole town of Happy. But you can bet the ranch that the phone lines will be hot as soon as those two old guys get home and tell their wives. Or maybe they’ll call them on the way home so the gossip doesn’t get cold. You’re runnin’ out of time.” Lila left him sitting on the bar stool and picked up a coffeepot in each hand to refill cups as she made her way around the café.
“Sink or swim
time,” he muttered as he swallowed the last sip in his cup. Taking a long, deep breath, he crossed the wooden floor, his cowboy boots sounding like drumbeats. But the sound of them was nothing compared to the thump in his ears with every heartbeat. Without asking, he slid into the booth right beside Carlene. Hot sparks flashed through his whole body when their thighs touched and didn’t disappear when she quickly scooted as far away as she could.
“Good mornin’, ladies.” He smiled brightly. “I see you like chocolate milk like your mama, Miz Tilly.”
“And biscuits and gravy and waffles with peanut butter in all the little square holes,” Tilly told him. “That’s what we’re havin’ for breakfast this mornin’. What are you gettin’, Mr. Jace?”
“I already ate but wanted to come over and talk to y’all. And you can call me plain old Jace, not Mr. Jace,” he answered. “So you’re in the second grade?”
“Third!” Tilly held up three fingers. “I’m almost nine.”
“I see. Well, you sure are tall for your age,” Jace said. “Before long you’ll be taller than your mama.”
“I was the tallest kid in my class in Florida,” she said. “But I’d rather be short like Mama than stand out like an old wild sunflower in a bed full of pretty petunias.”
“Who told you that you were an old sunflower?” Carlene asked.
“I heard one of the teachers at my school say that. I didn’t tell you because…” Tilly concentrated on her waffles.
“Because your mama has a temper, right?” Jace asked.
“Yep, she does and sometimes”—she leaned forward a little—“I have one too. Mama says that it’s good they don’t show up on the same day.”
“What else would you like to have like your mama?” Jace was amazed at how friendly the child was.
Luckiest Cowboy of All--Two full books for the price of one Page 3
