Time stood still and a heavy silence filled the room. Scenarios of how this would go down had played through Carlene’s mind the past week but not a one of them was close to being right.
“If I am, how do you feel about that?” Jace asked.
“I don’t like it,” Tilly said with a sharp edge to her voice.
“You soften up that tone, Matilda Rose,” Carlene said.
“Tell me outright, is Jace my daddy?”
“Yes, he is,” Carlene said. “We were very young when I got pregnant and I never even told him, so don’t be mad at him.”
Tilly sighed dramatically. “Why’d we even come here? I don’t want a daddy! We’re doin’ just fine the way we are, Mama, with you bein’ a mama and a daddy both.”
“I thought we were friends,” Jace said.
“A real friend would’ve told me the truth instead of tryin’ to act all nice.” She spun around and stormed up the stairs.
Carlene pushed back her chair.
Jace followed her lead.
“Give it a minute,” Hope said quickly. “Let her cool down before you both race up there and muddy the waters even more. This reminds me of when Valerie was about eleven years old and I was sure dreading having the sex talk with her. One day her father came into our bedroom and asked me if I had any idea what our child was reading. I told him that it was a well-known children’s author, not knowing that that particular writer also wrote books with some pretty explicit sex scenes in it. I checked out what she was reading and figured that I could take it one of two ways. I could either be angry that she was reading something like that or relieved that she already knew and I didn’t have to have that dreaded talk with her.”
“And that pertains to this how?” Jace asked.
“Again, it’s two ways. The story about Valerie has kept you from rushing up there and now Carlene doesn’t have to worry about telling her anymore,” Hope answered. “I expect you’d both better go now.”
“How do you want to handle this?” Jace asked as he followed her up the steps.
“I have no idea.”
“You had to have known when you moved here that she and I both would find out,” Jace said when they reached the top.
“Yes, I did and figured it was time for both, but I sure didn’t expect it to go down this way.”
Neither did Jace. He’d had all kinds of visions about his first daddy moment with Tilly and not a one of them involved this scenario. He’d even dreamed about her the night before, dancing together at the father-daughter Valentine’s Day affair. Didn’t look like that was going to happen. Maybe this was an omen that he wasn’t cut out to be a daddy after all.
There’s a difference between a father and a daddy. His dad’s voice in his head stopped him in his tracks at the top of the stairs. Which are you going to be when you grow up?
He remembered having that conversation when he came home fussing about Carlene’s father never being around for any school functions.
Carlene rapped on Tilly’s door. “All right if we come in and talk?”
“Nothing to talk about,” Tilly said.
Carlene slung the door open. “I’m coming inside. And Jace is coming with me.”
With his dad’s words still in his head, he followed Carlene into the bedroom. Tilly was sitting in the middle of her bed with her pink bear hugged up to her chest.
Carlene sat down on the bed and wrapped Tilly and her bear up in her arms. “I should have told you sooner.”
“Does this mean you and Jace are going to get married? Maribel said that her mama told her daddy you should have married him a long time ago.”
Jace braced a shoulder against the doorjamb. “Tilly, I don’t expect you to think of me as a…” He paused. It was time to make a decision. Did he want to be a father or a daddy? He inhaled deeply and said, “…as a daddy right now so maybe we could start off by being friends. I promise to tell you the truth from now on. It doesn’t mean that your mama and I are going to get married. I found a house for you to move into, but it won’t be ready for a few weeks. I was hoping that you and your mama would stay here until then so you don’t have to move twice. Jasmine likes it here and I like having someone in this big old place to keep me company.”
“And if we find something sooner, we will move out,” Carlene said.
Tilly cut her eyes around at him. “Just friends?”
“I could teach you about bein’ a rodeo clown and you could learn a little bit of ranchin’ with me. And Red already likes you. And you could even get to know your great-grandma, Hope, a little better and your grandmother, Valerie. They’d both like that,” Jace said.
“So many people. What if they don’t like me?” she whispered.
Her anguish broke his heart. “I like you, so I’m bettin’ they will too. And I’m sure they’re also wonderin’ if you’re goin’ to like them,” Jace answered.
“You promise you won’t boss me around?” Tilly crawled off the bed. “You can’t tell me what to do. That’s my mama’s job.”
He stuck out his hand. “Deal.”
Tilly shook with him. “You did bring me Jasmine and I would like to be a rodeo clown.”
Her tiny hand in his created a stirring in his heart that told him that he definitely wanted to be a daddy. He glanced up at Carlene and decided in that moment that he wanted to take a step even further. He wanted them to be a family.
“I’m bringing Tilly some cinnamon rolls and chocolate milk up the stairs,” Hope yelled out.
“I can stay as long as we need to, Mama. Me and Jace can learn to be friends and I can get to know these other people. But I don’t want a daddy, okay? He’ll just be plain old Jace.”
Tilly might have been talking to her mother, but her eyes never left Jace’s face. They pierced through his tough muscles right into his heart and dared him to disagree. He’d had his share of schoolyard fights as well as barroom arguments but that morning he simply nodded when he was confronted by an eight-year-old girl with steel in her gaze.
“And here it is.” Hope brought in a wooden tray laden with breakfast. “Reckon we could have us a visit while you eat, Miz Tilly?”
“I’m really hungry, but I don’t drink coffee.”
“That’s for me.” Hope smiled.
“I believe you two didn’t get your food finished.” Hope set the tray down on the bed, took the pink bear from Tilly, and set it beside her, then slid the tray over her lap.
“I only get breakfast in bed when I’m sick,” Tilly said.
“Today is a special day,” Hope told her.
“I’ll see you downstairs in a bit, young lady,” Carlene told her. “You can play princess until you finish breakfast, but then we’ve got to get to work.”
Tilly flashed a smile. “Then I will eat real slow.”
As they closed the door behind them, Jace held out a hand and Carlene put hers in it. He liked the way her small hand fit in his but more than that he really, really needed the support, even if only for a few minutes.
“Don’t let go.”
“Why?” she asked.
“You’re a strong woman, Carlene, but that about brought me to my knees. I need you right now even if it’s only your hand in mine,” he answered.
When they reached the bottom of the stairs, she whipped around, let go of his hand, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’ve worried about this day for years, and now that it’s out in the open…”
He drew her close to his body. They needed each other in that moment more than ever before at any time. “I know exactly what you’re talking about,” he whispered.
“You really don’t mind that we’re going to be here for longer than the weekend?”
“Not one bit. I was telling Tilly the truth when I said I needed the company.” He massaged the tense muscles in her back. “This is a busy season on the ranch and you’ll be at work every day. We’ll probably only see each other in passing.”
“You’re right about that,�
�� she said with a nod.
One day at a time, Jace thought.
Hope sat down on the edge of the bed while Tilly dug into the breakfast with the gusto of a starving puppy. Watching her was like seeing Kasey at that age except for the gray eyes that in no way went with that deep red hair. It made for a striking look and Jace would have his hands full when the boys started coming around.
“So what do you want to be when you grow up?” Hope asked.
“A soldier like my aunt Bee,” she answered quickly. “I like her uniform but maybe I could be a rodeo clown too. And I want to live where I can have animals so that Jasmine will have a place, too. What did you want to be when you was a little girl?”
“Well, when I was your age, I thought maybe I’d be a nurse but then I figured out that I didn’t like needles, so I changed my mind and decided I’d marry a prince and go live in a castle in a faraway land.” Hope hadn’t thought of those things in years but then no one had ever asked her that question. She’d been groomed from the time she was born to run Hope Springs Ranch and there was no question about what she’d really be when she grew up.
Tilly giggled. “And he’d come and take you away on a white horse and you’d live happily ever after like in Cinderella.”
Hope laughed with her. “My prince doesn’t have a white horse but I understand that he’s got an ice cream truck that is white with red writing on the side. Want to see it?”
“You have a real prince? One who’s going to take you off to happily-ever-after?” Tilly’s gray eyes popped wide open.
“I do.” Hope pulled out her phone and flipped through several pictures. “And here he is in his ice cream truck.”
Tilly giggled even harder. “That’s not a prince. That’s Henry. Me and Mama used to get ice cream from him when he went past our apartment in Laguna Beach. I like the Creamsicles and Mama always gets the kind with vanilla in the middle and chocolate on the outside.”
“He told me that you did. Someday I’d like to go see the beach.”
“You’d love it.” She lowered her voice. “Don’t tell Mama, but I sure do miss it. But I think it’s funny that you call Henry a prince.”
“He’s a prince to me, Tilly. You see, a person can be many things to different people. Like your mama is your aunt Bee’s sister and your grandma’s daughter.”
“And my mama,” Tilly said.
“And Jace can be your mama’s friend but he’s also my grandson and Kasey’s brother,” Hope said.
“I said he could be my friend, too, but I don’t want him for a daddy,” Tilly told her.
“You got a problem with him bein’ your mama’s friend too?” Hope asked cautiously.
Tilly shook her head. “I told Mama to ask him out on a date but she said that girls didn’t do that. I’m going to when I get old like Mama. What if a boy I like is too scared to ask me out? Then I guess I’ll have to just ask him, right? They do it on television.”
When Hope could speak, she said, “So you don’t mind your mama dating Jace?”
“No, ma’am. She needs a friend to go places with since Aunt Bee didn’t move here with us. And,” Tilly said, “if she goes out with Jace, then I might get to go over to Maribel’s for a sleepover, right?”
A wide smile spread across Hope’s face. “Or maybe you and I could invite Maribel to come to my house for a sleepover and we’d have a night of movies and maybe make some cookies?”
Tilly clapped her hands. “That would be wonderful. You could be the fairy godmother and we’d be princesses.”
“And if Henry drops by for a visit?” Hope asked.
“Tell him to bring ice cream,” Tilly teased. “And we’ll let him be the fairy godmother’s Prince Charmin’.”
Hope picked up the tray and stood up. “Sounds like a good plan to me. I suppose we should get down to the laundry room and help your mama get all your things washed so they don’t smell like smoke when you put them in your dresser drawers and closet, right?”
“I really like this room and this house, Miz…What do I call you?” Tilly bailed off the bed.
“The grandchildren and the great-grands call me Granny,” Hope said.
“Am I a great-grand?” Tilly asked.
“That’s right.”
“And I look like your mama. She’s my…” Tilly frowned.
“Great-great-grandmother.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of greats. So you are Granny and my grandmother is Nanny. What is Valerie?”
“She’d be Grandma.”
Hope started toward the door, expecting Tilly to be right behind her, but when she turned, she saw the little girl making her bed. “Rella, that’s my bear, doesn’t like to spend the whole day in a messy room. Mama told me that when I was just a little girl, so we fix the bed for her and keep things nice and neat.”
“It sounds like your mama is pretty smart,” Hope said as she and Tilly left the bedroom together.
“Yep, she is. I hope that the dryer is done. Rella gets lonely without her buddies.”
“You met Emma and Silas and Rustin last night. Did you know that Emma gets lonely because all she’s got is boys in her family? Think you can be her friend?”
“I never had a cousin. That’s what she is, isn’t it?”
“That’s right.”
“I guess I got room for another friend, but Maribel and Natalie are my best friends.” Tilly stopped at the kitchen door and stared at her mother and Jace sitting at the kitchen table together.
“You okay?” Carlene asked.
“Yep, did you know that Henry isn’t just the ice cream man? He’s Granny’s”—her brow wrinkled as she tried to figure out the relationship and then she blurted out— “boyfriend. Yep, that’s what he is.”
“Oh, really?” Jace asked.
“Yes, really, and I’ll have no sass out of you this mornin’, Jace Dawson,” Hope declared.
“Henry’s ice cream truck came by our house in Florida. Usually on Friday afternoon about four o’clock. We kind of recognized each other years ago,” Carlene explained to Jace.
“Small world.” Jace went back to his breakfast.
“Yes, it is,” Hope said. “And that’s the dryer buzzer. How about me and you take the toys up to your room and put them away.”
“Okay, Granny.” Tilly shrugged toward her mother. “She said that she is Granny and Valerie is Grandma. And Emma is my cousin.”
“Oooookaaaaaay,” Carlene drew out the word into a half dozen syllables.
Tilly sucked in a lungful of air and went on. “Cinderella is waiting for her friends. And she says that she likes it here. She didn’t like Aunt Rosie’s house too much. She was afraid a mouse would get on the bed and pee on her.”
“Matilda Rose Varner,” Carlene scolded.
“Well, she was,” Tilly said.
“I’m glad that you and your bear both like it here,” Jace said. “And you can stay as long as you want to.”
“Thank you, Jace, but I reckon me and you will be friends or we won’t by the time we move out. Will my birthday be here while we are still in this house, Mama?”
“Probably not,” Carlene answered.
“Wherever we are living, can we have a party?”
“You bet we can.” Jace agreed.
Hope’s phone rang as she went to the laundry room to empty the dryer. She leaned her back against the dryer and smiled when Henry’s picture popped up. “Why didn’t you tell me before last night about Carlene and Tilly?”
“We made a deal the first time that I saw that little girl. She didn’t tell Rosalie anything about me, and I wouldn’t call you and tell her that I knew that daughter of hers is a Dawson. Guess both our secrets are out now,” he chuckled.
“Yes, they are and thank God.” Hope told him what had happened that morning, including the pictures she’d send him later of Tilly catching snowflakes on her tongue.
“I’m glad that it’s snowing while I’m here. I missed that in Florida. Not getting out in
the miserable stuff to feed and break the ice on the cows’ water, but the peace when all the earth is white and clean,” he said. “So how’s Jace and Carlene?”
“I’m surprised you didn’t ask about Tilly.”
“She’s a firecracker. She’ll find her way through the turmoil, but Jace and Carlene…they’re trying to work out the wrinkles of the past just like we are and I know that’s not so easy,” he said.
“Granny, if your prince takes you away on a white horse, will he be my grandpa?” Tilly asked loudly.
“Like I said, a firecracker,” Henry laughed.
“I’d say she’s more like a bottle rocket,” Hope answered, glad that Henry couldn’t see the fiery red dots on her cheeks.
“See you tomorrow at the memorial,” Henry said. “Have a wonderful day getting to know Miss Tilly Rose.”
“I’m looking forward to both,” Hope said.
Chapter Ten
Carlene chose a black dress that morning for Aunt Rosalie’s memorial service at the church. She decided on a simple gold necklace and she pulled her blond hair back in a bun.
Tilly wanted to wear her Christmas dress, a blue and black plaid with a bodice of black velvet and Carlene didn’t argue with her. They arrived at the church with Jace early enough to get a seat in the second pew. Tilly sat between them, but that didn’t stop Carlene’s heart from kicking in a little extra thump every time she glanced at him dressed in jeans, a white shirt and tie, and a Western-cut black corduroy jacket.
The preacher took the podium at exactly eleven o’clock. “Good mornin’. It’s good to see a crowd on this snowy day, but I know Miss Rosalie Varner had many friends. It was her wish that there would be no funeral. I’m not brave enough or stupid enough to go against her wishes.”
A few folks laughed, including Carlene and Jace.
“With that in mind, what we are having today is a little celebration of life. No reading of the day of her birth…” He paused for a moment. “Mainly because I’m not that stupid either. So we’re going to sing a couple of her favorite songs and then we’re going to let whoever wants to come forward do so to tell us what Miss Rosalie meant to them.”
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