“Yes.” A fake laugh tumbled out. “Of course I’m okay.” Oh God. She might as well have said, No, Lance. I’m not okay. I’m taking your father to Denver in the morning. She was terrible at pretending.
Sure enough, he gave her a skeptical look.
“Um.” She scraped at a piece of nail polish on the tip of her finger. Think. Think, damn it. Maybe sex would’ve been a better idea. Then she wouldn’t actually have to talk to him. “It’s just…it’s been a stressful week.”
His eyes watched the windshield now as he navigated the town streets. “Things at the shelter okay?”
“Yes.” As far as she could tell. Though she’d been a bit distracted lately, courtesy of that man sitting right there. “Just a lot to do.”
The truck lurched to a stop as he waited to turn onto the highway. “My offer’s still good, you know.” His hand swept down her arm and brought on a rush of longing. “Even though you’re not staying with Dad anymore, I’ll still donate half my winnings to the shelter.”
Her shoulders went stiff. “You don’t have to do that,” she choked out. He shouldn’t do that.
“I want to.” He sped onto the highway, sneaking glances at her as they headed toward the ranch. “You’ve done a lot for us, Jessa. Bringing my brothers home…helping out Dad.”
Her hands squeezed into fists. She was still trying to help out Luis. She had to remember that. “It’s nothing,” she insisted, staring out the passenger window, watching the familiar mountains roll by. They’d turned off the highway and onto the ranch’s vast acreage and were heading up the same switchback road she and Luis took on the ATVs. The secret seemed to sear against her chest, but she battled back an urge to tell him. “So how are things going with your brothers?” she asked in an attempt to take the focus off her.
“Things are pretty good.” He kind of laughed. “Surprisingly.”
That drew her gaze to him. “Why is that surprising?”
“Let’s just say there’ve always been some things between us.” He focused on the road as though he wanted to evade her eyes. “But we’re dealing with them. Finally. After all these years, I think we can be like a family again.” There was a gravity in his voice, half hope, half fear. But when his face turned to her she saw only strength. “Thanks to you.”
Guilt spilled through her again, forcing her to look away. “I can’t take credit for that.” After he found out about his father’s situation, he likely wouldn’t be singing her praises anymore.
Silence ensued as the truck crawled up the steep incline. When the road leveled out, he glanced over at her again. “I didn’t think I’d be thankful for them coming back. But I am. And Dad is.” His eyes locked on hers. “I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time.”
She felt the color drain from her face. His father was not a safe subject right now. Not at all. “How’s training coming?” she rasped, hoping to divert the conversation away from Luis. She couldn’t talk about him at all or she might burst into tears. She’d nearly driven herself crazy looking up his symptoms on the Internet, fearing everything from a brain tumor to dementia to Alzheimer’s.
“I feel ready,” Lance said, parking the truck near the short path that led down to the lake. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this ready for a competition.”
“I’m glad.” It was the most genuine thing she’d said since he rang her doorbell. She was glad for him. After the hell everyone was giving him, he deserved to win.
Which is why she wouldn’t tell him. As soon as he came back from Worlds, he’d find out everything. Right now, she had to give him space to concentrate. Comforted by the thought, she climbed out of the truck, thankful for the fresh air, the expanse of space between them. Maybe out here in the openness things wouldn’t feel as intimate. Maybe she could keep her distance.
While Lance unloaded a huge basket from the bed of his truck, she wandered to the path. Evening was just starting to settle, hushing the world, making everything glow. God, it was romantic. The lighting, the soft breeze, the faraway rush of a stream. The peace of it made reality seem a little farther away, like they really had entered some dream world where happiness could never come to a screeching halt with one diagnosis, with one little lie. Her body let go of some of the tension it had been carrying as she inhaled the scent of honeysuckle and pine. So lovely, these mountains. So far away from everything else.
“Hope you like cheese. And wine,” Lance said, coming up behind her.
She turned, letting herself take him in, letting her eyes linger on his. “I like both.” She smiled at him. And it felt real. Not forced. “That’s quite the basket. I’m so impressed,” she teased, eyeing the huge woven work of art he carried.
“Borrowed it from Naomi,” he admitted with a grin. “I was just gonna pack it all in a good old saddle bag. But I figured we might not want hay in our food.”
She laughed, and somehow it made a surge of tingling anticipation slip through her hesitations. Lance had gone to a lot of trouble planning this date. A picnic. Something intimate and sweet. He could’ve taken her to a restaurant, but instead he’d brought her out here. The effort he’d put in warmed her.
They walked in an easy silence down to the lake. She’d been there a couple of times, fishing with Luis, mostly, but she’d never seen it at dusk. When the trees opened into a clearing, she stopped suddenly. It almost looked fake. The glassy surface, smooth and turquoise, fed from the glacier nestled between two cliffs above. The setting sun streaked the sky with colors, reflecting off the water. “This is incredible,” she breathed.
“Yeah. Sometimes I come up here at sunset. It’s probably the most peaceful spot on the entire ranch.” Lance led her down to the water, where a big flat rock sat mere feet away from the shoreline.
“This is where I usually sit.” He lowered the basket to the ground and took out a red-and-white-checkered tablecloth, shaking it slightly before he spread it out.
“It’s perfect.” She sat, letting her legs stretch out in front of her, crossing them at the ankles as her skin soaked in the gentle evening sun.
Lance sat beside her, pulling things out of the basket, one by one. A plastic-wrapped plate of some yummy-looking cheeses, a container of grapes, a platter of what looked to be prosciutto and salami. Then, two wineglasses and a bottle of merlot. He uncorked the wine and poured a glass for each of them. Then he held his out to her, a sparkle of mystery in his eyes. “To great views,” he said, eyeing her dress again, and this time she let herself blush.
“To great views,” she repeated, clanking her glass against his.
He pulled out two plates and served her. It was all perfectly thought out. The saltiness of the cheese with the bitterness of the wine and the sweetness of the grapes. The two of them ate leisurely while the pink hues deepened in the sky.
Jessa set down her wineglass, still mesmerized by how the lake’s surface mirrored the sky. “So what do you think about when you come up here?”
Lance gazed up at the peaks above them. “Life. Competitions. Sometimes my mom.” That last sentence seemed garbled with an emotion she couldn’t quite peg. Anger? Resentment? Sadness?
She munched on the amazing Brie he’d selected and sipped her wine. “Did you stay in touch with her? Ever hear from her?”
Instead of answering, he shook his head. Then he popped some grapes into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully before he swallowed. “For a while I thought she’d come back. That she’d realize her mistake and make things right.”
By the sound of things, he’d given up on that dream a long time ago. But she’d never been one to lose hope easily. “Maybe she still will,” Jessa said, her tone treading carefully.
“Nah. She would’ve already. If she wanted to.” He set his plate on the ground next to the rock and hunched, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’ve looked for her more than once. Didn’t find anything. She obviously doesn’t want to be found.”
The pain on his face ground itself into her heart. What would t
hat be like? To have this important piece of your life missing? Did he feel incomplete because of it? “You boys deserved better,” she said, covering his hand with hers. His was warm and rough. Battered by the constant tug-of-war with leather. She loved the feel of it. Of him. His hands were so distinct, the lines and ridges and scars…
Lance scooted closer to her. “You didn’t have it so easy with your family, either, huh? Always going back and forth the way you did.” His arm settled around her.
“No.” She let herself lean into him. “That’s true. But both of my parents were always there for me.” They may not have been in love, but they both loved her. She’d never had to doubt that. “I consider myself very blessed to have had that.”
Lance peered down at her, his eyes searching hers. “How do you do that?”
She turned to face him. “What?”
“See the best in every situation. In everyone?”
Maybe because she’d overdosed on romance her entire life and now she thought only in terms of happily-ever-afters? That didn’t sound very intelligent. “I guess I like to focus on what I have instead of what I think I need. I only see the things I’m grateful for.”
His face lowered to hers. “Want to know what I’m grateful for?” he murmured, nearly against her lips.
“What?” she breathed, her heart pounding its way out of her chest.
“That dress.” The grin that accompanied the words was downright naughty. And close. So close.
She laughed as his lips nudged hers, and he laughed, too, but only for a second before he pulled her closer, teasing her with a scrap of his extravagant mouth against hers. The heat on their lips thawed the fears and the hesitations that had chilled her heart before. Because she loved kissing him. Loved how his firm lips moved against hers, slow and sensual. Savoring. She loved the feel of his hard chest under her palms, the way his hands held her, the way his stubble scraped her skin.
“You really know how to plan a date,” she whispered against his neck.
Carefully he lowered her back to the rock, then hovered over her while he traced her collarbone with his finger. “It’ll only get better,” he promised,
“Can’t wait,” she whispered, bringing her lips to his again. Losing herself in the rhythm of his kiss and the peaceful breeze and the glowing sunset, she took Darla’s advice.
She let the secret between them go.
Chapter Twenty-One
This evening wasn’t supposed to be about sex, but God almighty was it hard to convince his body of that. Especially with Jessa underneath him, making those hot little noises while he kissed the soft warm flesh of her neck. He wanted sex. No. He should rephrase that. He wanted sex with Jessa again. Slow this time. Deliberate. So he could touch every inch of her skin. Taste it with his tongue. So he could revel in the sensation of burying himself inside her again, taking her to that place where her control shattered and she clung to him as she rode out the pleasure he gave her…
His hands fisted and he pulled back, eased himself onto his side next to her. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted a woman, but he wanted more than her body. Tonight was not about sex. It was about taking her on a date. When he’d picked her up, she’d been distant, and who the hell could blame her? They’d already had a quickie in the kitchen but since then, they’d hardly talked. Had hardly spent any time alone, getting to know each other the way a woman like Jessa would want to. She might say she was fine with a fling, but he knew better. She’d never given herself away to just anyone. Hell, that’s what made her special. He knew she wanted more. And she deserved it, too.
“Everything okay?” she asked quietly, touching her fingers to her lips. Even in the dusky light, he could see the rosiness of her cheeks, heated and alive, the same way his body felt.
He gazed down at her, playing with the strands of hair around her face, breathing in her sweet honey scent. “Everything’s more than okay.” Because he had her here, alone. Because right now in this moment, she belonged to him. He couldn’t say what would happen tomorrow, where tonight would lead them, but right now he had everything he wanted. “Are you okay?”
She smiled up at the stars that were starting to prick the sky with their twinkling light. “Yes, Lance. I am definitely okay.” Her gaze met his, and he had to hold his breath and count backward from ten so he wouldn’t say screw getting to know her and maul her instead. He could do this. Talk to a woman he was interested in. Talk without expecting anything else. They had a lot of things to discuss. He knew a lot about her but he didn’t know her.
She turned on her side, so that her perfect breasts pressed against his chest. Instead of caressing them the way he’d been fantasizing about, he rested his hand on her hip. “I figured we should talk some. Get to know each other.”
Jessa busted out laughing.
“What?” he demanded, though her laughter lured out a grin. She had a great laugh. Happy and buoyant. A laugh that could make even the biggest miser smile. He needed more of that laugh in his life.
“Sorry,” she managed to say through a lingering giggle. “I’m sorry.” She made a face as though she was struggling to put on a more serious expression. “So what do you want to know about me? Favorite color? Favorite food?” Judging from the glimmer in her eyes she was teasing him.
And he liked it. “Bra size,” he shot back, though he’d had enough experience to guess she was safely within the C category.
“Why don’t you take a look?” she said, temptingly.
He could. He could take the thing off with his teeth right now. But he’d already decided. Next time he made love to Jessa, it wouldn’t be on an uncomfortable rock in the great outdoors. It would be in his king-size bed, where they could spend the entire night exploring each other, where he could take his time figuring out how she liked it best. Where he could send her over the edge as many times as she’d let him and then they could fall asleep with their naked bodies tangled together.
He eased out a breath. “When’s your birthday?” he asked, jaw tensed with restraint.
Jessa propped herself up on her elbow and gave him that soft smile that made him want to trace her lips with his tongue. “September. The sixteenth.”
He nodded as though checking her answer off the list. He tried to think of another stupid question, something insignificant, but the truth was he didn’t care what her favorite color was. He didn’t care what she liked to eat. That would all be learned in time. What fascinated him most about Jessa was her heart. The woman had been hurt. Engaged a couple of times, rumor had it. She’d been cast aside. Abandoned just like him. But she had this resilience he envied. Only one person had rejected him in his whole life and yet in that one moment he’d shut himself off to the very connection he was starting to feel with Jessa. He’d ridden bulls, been bucked around, thrown. He’d broken too many bones to count. But this…this terrified him. The risk seemed so much greater than just his own life. Yet he didn’t want to turn back. He didn’t want to run scared this time. Jessa had managed to do what no other woman could all these years. She’d earned his trust.
He braved a look into her stunning eyes. “What do you want most in life?” he asked her, wondering if maybe he could offer it to her.
Her expression sobered. She rolled onto her back and stared up at the sky again.
Figuring it might make it easier for her to answer, he did the same.
Wind rustled the pine needles and made the water quietly lap at the shoreline. He said nothing, though Jessa’s silence tempted him to let her off the hook.
Finally, she sighed, as though she’d resigned herself to honesty. “Love,” she murmured as though somewhat ashamed. “That’s what I want most in life. To love someone wholly and truly. And to have them love me back.”
The words struck him with their simplicity. Wasn’t that what most people wanted but were too afraid to admit? He leaned over, kissing her tenderly yet firmly. When he pulled back, his heart pounded. “I don’t know how to do that,” he
admitted. To love someone. Even more than that, to let someone love him. “But maybe I can learn.”
Jessa turned her body to his again, placing her palm at the curve of his jaw. “You’re far better at it than you think you are,” she whispered. “You love your father.” Was it tears that made her eyes brighter? Or just the deepening darkness? He didn’t know why that filled her with so much emotion, but he loved that in her. Loved how she let herself feel. He stroked her cheek, steering her lips back to his, and this time the kiss felt deeper, more meaningful. It was even harder to pull back, harder to keep his hands from wandering all of the places they wanted to go. Instead, he drew her into a tight embrace, trying to convince himself he was satisfied simply holding her. “Come with us. To Worlds.” The words surprised him as much as they seemed to surprise Jessa. He hadn’t planned on saying them, on inviting her. But he wanted her with him.
She pushed back and sat up. “What?”
“Come to Vegas.” He sat up, too, gazing into her eyes to convince her. “We’ll get you your own suite. Dad would love it.”
Her head tilted to the side. “You want me to come along for your dad?”
“Yeah.” He bit back a smile. She was much smarter than that, but she apparently wanted to make him say it. “And maybe I want you there for me, too.” He wanted her light. Her laugh. Her smile. Her happiness. It wouldn’t be easy for him to face his critics, the people who were hungrily awaiting his downfall. But something told him he could manage it better if she were with him.
Jessa’s whole face lit. “Okay,” she said slowly, as though it was sinking in. “Yes. I’d love to go with you.”
“Okay,” he repeated, already making the arrangements in his head. He’d have his agent set everything up, find her plane reservations, get her the best suite at the hotel. “You’ll have a great time,” he said, kissing her sweet lips again. “I promise.”
Luckiest Cowboy of All--Two full books for the price of one Page 49
