by Ava May
“I've still got it,” he said, laughing weakly.
“You didn't have to do that, Dad,” Scarlett said.
“I'm not standing for anyone talking to my daughter like that, or pushing my wife. What kind of man would I be?”
Janice squeezed his hand and started to cry. Scarlett walked over to her and hugged her.
“I'm sorry,” Janice said through her mournful sobs. “But this is all too much like last time. I was so scared. I didn't want to ever come to a hospital again and it just reminds me of when we came to see her.” Scarlett and Steve shared a look with each other. Scarlett rubbed her mother's shoulders.
“You remember that time when Lisa tried to ice skate and ended up fracturing her ankle?” Steve said, attempting to lighten the mood.
“She always was one to get into trouble,” Janice said, laughing softly as she remembered how Lisa had returned home, hobbling.
“That was a first date from hell. Who was it she went out with?” Scarlett said, pursing her lips as she tried to think of the name.
“It was that Jerome fellow,” Janice said, but none of them could remember his name.
“She really liked him too,” Scarlett said. “She'd been trying to get a date with him for such a long time, and she was more upset that she blew it than she was at having injured herself.”
“I wonder what happened to him.”
“I think she said he moved to Austria... or Australia, I can't remember which.”
“Do you remember that awful boy she brought home? The one who called himself Q?” Steve said. The girls laughed.
“Yeah, I don't know what she was thinking with that one,” Janice said.
“She told me that he had a pet snake and she thought it was cool. I don't think she was ever serious about him. But then again, I don't remember her being serious about anyone, really.”
“I think when she had her heart broken by Corey, that was it. She didn't give herself to anyone again. Not properly anyway.”
“Oh yes, Corey. He chose Rachel over Lisa, didn't he? Never understood that. She had nothing compared to Lisa,” Steve said.
“Well, she did have one thing—she put out and Lisa didn't. I think that was the main difference. But yeah, the only thing I remember her being serious about was traveling,” Scarlett said.
“She would have made it around the world one day,” Steve said wistfully. Janice wiped another tear from her eye.
“I just want you guys to know that I love you. I know I don't say it as much as I should, and maybe sometimes I don't see you as often as I should. But you know it, right? I mean, you're all I have.” The three of them hugged and shared their emotions, weeping a little, until the nurse eventually came in and told them that Scarlett and Janice had to leave. They kissed Steve goodbye and went back home.
“I was really frightened there. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to your father,” Janice said as they drove back home. Scarlett nodded and the sentiment stuck in her mind.
Although she was still only in her twenties, she suddenly felt very old and aware that time was finite and running out quickly. And then Jack came into her mind again. Had she handled the situation badly? Should she have given him more time to explain? Not that it mattered now... it had been so long that she'd probably blown it completely, and now she had other things to worry about. She took her mother home and stayed up with her for a while, sharing a hot drink, before going back to her apartment.
The night was long and lonely, and her mind was filled with thoughts about her father, Jack, and Lisa. She ended up sobbing quietly into the pillow. There was no one around to witness the weeping angel, and the night dragged on as she fought for sleep to no avail.
Chapter 4
The following day, her father was released from hospital and her mother looked with worry at the long list of pills he had to take.
“I don't know how I'm going to keep track of all of these,” she said. Scarlett assured her that she would help take care of him. She moved back into her parents' house for the time being, although she was able to go back to her apartment whenever she needed to get away. Since her father needed a lot of care, she also took some leave from work. It was hard to do, because work was all she knew, but her father needed her. Besides, she thought a break from work would be good, so she could have some time away from all the reminders of Jack, and the rumor mongers.
It was hard to see her father look so weak and frail. It took a great deal of effort even just to walk, and they had to set up a small room off the lounge that became his new bedroom, where Janice took to sleep as well. Scarlett could tell that her father was frustrated with his body for failing him, and she wondered how it must feel to have something that you trusted so much betray you, with nothing to do about it.
Steve tried to be patient, but occasionally his frustrations got the better of him and Scarlett witnessed some raw bursts of emotion. She hadn't seen her father like that since Lisa died. Ever since then, he'd been so reserved. It was like coming so close to death had sparked him into life.
Being at home with her parents made Scarlett feel young again, and they returned to the dynamics of her youth. To her parents, she was still their little girl, and there were a few times when she was annoyed at them. It was also different with Lisa not being there, and the more they were together, the more they felt her absence.
One afternoon, Scarlett took a drive out to the cemetery where Lisa was buried. It was a mild afternoon. Tombstones stood in rows, and as Scarlett walked through them, she took the time to look at them, because they all deserved the respect of being acknowledged. If people ignored Lisa's tombstone, she knew that she would be annoyed. A few of the older tombstones were in a state of disrepair and had been weathered so much that the engravings on them were faded and she couldn't even see the name of who rested below the ground. There was nothing sadder than that, she thought, and as she walked through the field of death, she remembered how Jack had felt so strongly about passing away, and how he wanted to hold on to life at any cost. Was it something to do with his wife? With what had happened that night?
Scarlett wished she knew the answer. She reached Lisa's grave and placed her flowers at the foot of the tombstone, replacing the old ones that had withered away.
“Oh Lisa, I really wish you were here. There's no one else I can talk to about this stuff. I really need your advice. Dad's just had an accident and I'm back home with the two of them which is... it's not too bad, actually. It's kinda nice to have the comforts of home again, although it does make me realize how much life I'm missing out on. It makes me miss all those times we stayed up late at night, talking about boys and… well, everything. It's not the same without you here. It never has been... never will be. I still miss you so much. We all do. We don't always say it but it's always there. Mom always looks at the empty seat at the table when we have dinner. She doesn't think I notice it, but I do. What do you think I should do? I thought I was falling in love with Jack, but then he told me that his wife was the other person in the crash. I don't know if she died or if she's still alive... and I feel like I should hate him for it. After all, if it wasn't for his wife, then you'd still be here. You'd still be with me. But I made my peace with that a long time ago and it feels like such a waste of energy to dredge all that up.
But how can I possibly trust him again? How can I be with him when he hid that from me? It probably doesn't matter now. I bet he's done with me, and he’s probably forgotten about me. I don't even know if he's in the country at the moment. I just wish that I knew what to do. Life was supposed to be simple. You remember when we were teenagers and we both dreamed that we'd be big shots and would fall in love easily? Everyone did it… it seemed so simple! Why didn't anyone warn us about how hard it would be?”
Of course there was no answer, and for a while, Scarlett contented herself by sitting beside her sister in silence. Eventually, she left to go back to her parents' house.
While she was away fr
om work, she was still in contact with the office through Mandy, who told her that not everybody believed she was off to tend to her father. Some of them cynically thought that she was using it as an excuse to avoid the gossip at work. Scarlett was furious and almost returned to work to confront the rumors once and for all, but in the end she decided against it. She also e-mailed with some clients and oversaw a few projects, keeping up on what was happening in the office because she couldn't leave all of her responsibilities there.
It was nice to hear Mandy's voice, and Scarlett found that she missed her. But she didn't miss all the office politics. There was one person she didn't ask about, and that was Jack, although Mandy did say that he hadn't been in the office. Scarlett didn't know whether to be grateful or unhappy.
One day, Scarlett was sorting out her father's lunch when a car pulled up outside. Her heart sank as she dreaded that it was Matt, but as she looked out of the window, she saw that it wasn't him. Then a man got out and her heart caught in her throat. She almost dropped the knife she was holding. Jack looked around and then peered at the house as he checked something on his phone, then walked forward. Scarlett ran to the front door and flung it open before he had a chance to knock.
“That's not intended for me, is it?” he asked with a smirk, glancing at the knife in her hand. Scarlett looked down and took a moment to realize what he was meaning, and then laughed.
“Oh, yeah, sorry. I was just making lunch. What are you doing here?”
“I heard you weren't in the office and what happened with your father. I just came to make sure that everything was okay, and to let you know that you can have as much time off as you need. The most important thing is that your father gets better.”
He spoke so naturally, as though nothing had happened between them, and it unsettled Scarlett. Was he really just here in his professional capacity? Surely, he wouldn't go to every employee's home like this?
“Well, thank you, Jack. That means a lot. I shouldn't be off for too much longer though. I just wanted to help Mom out around here and make sure that Dad gets back to a stable condition.” She didn't know whether to be angry or happy, but she couldn't deny that it was good to see him.
“Like I said, just remember you can take as long as you want. It's, um, it's a nice place your parents have.”
“Yeah...” she said, and there was an awkward tension. Should she invite him in? It felt like she had waited too long, so now it was even more awkward. Thankfully, her mother was there to defuse the tension.
“Who is it, Scarlett?” she asked.
“Mom, this is... Jack.”
“It's nice to meet you,” Janice said, leaning past Scarlett and holding out her hand.
“Likewise,” Jack said.
“Well, Scarlett, where are your manners? He's come all this way; are you not going to invite him in?” There was a twinkle in her mother's eye and Scarlett vowed to throttle her later. She turned back around to Jack and flashed a wide smile, inviting him in for some iced tea. Jack gladly accepted.
“Why don't you go out to the garden? It's a pleasant day,” Janice said. Scarlett and Jack made their way outside.
“Thanks for nothing,” Scarlett whispered as she passed her mother. Janice only smiled in return, and went to the kitchen to finish off the lunch that Scarlett had started.
“Did you really just come here for that? Is that part of the service?” she asked.
“I also came to tell you that the company will pay your father's medical bills.”
“Jack... you can't do that.”
“It's not me doing it; it's the company.”
“Don't twist things around on me like that. You don't owe me... you don't owe us anything,” she said. His secret past was hanging between them. It was palpable in the air, and it prevented them from even looking at each other properly. Scarlett was standing with her body turned slightly away from him, while Jack was holding some flowers between his fingers.
“It's not anything to do with that...”
“Why did you come here today? Really.”
“Because I wanted to see you. I miss you, Scarlett. You have no idea how much. I told you that I didn't want to share my past with you. I hope you understand why now.”
“You should have told me from the start.”
“I... couldn't,” he said. Being in his presence again was difficult and Scarlett felt the pull of arousal again, and it was hard to fight the natural inclination to be close to him. It was like her body was hardwired to be near him, to touch him, but she managed to steel her resolve.
“I know it's difficult for you…” he began, but Scarlett interrupted sharply.
“You don't know anything. I can't do this right now, Jack.”
“Then when can you? Or are you going to walk away from this like it's the easiest thing in the world to do?”
“There's nothing easy about it. I want to be with you, but after what you told me... part of me wants to know more, and another part just wants to run. But I don't want something this complicated in my life. I've already got so much going on with work and my dad… I don't need another source of stress. If you can promise me that we can be fully open and honest with each other, then maybe we can give it another go... but I'm just not sure.”
Jack nodded slightly. He seemed to have something on his mind, but whatever it was he wasn't sharing it.
“In that case, I think maybe it would be best if we took some time. You should take care of your father. It's important to be there for the people in your life.” The way he said it was strange, as though it had a double meaning, but before Scarlett could question him about it, he was gone again.
Chapter 5
“Do you think I did the right thing?” Scarlett asked her mother as they were relaxing. Steve was sleeping and the two of them were sharing a hot chocolate in the late evening.
“Part of me wants to say that whenever you come across a man who looks like that and is a billionaire that you should do anything you can to land him. But I know it's not as simple as that,” Janice said. Scarlett still hadn't told her the truth about his secret and she had no plans to. “I think the most important thing in a relationship is trust, and if you can't trust him, then there's nothing you can do about it.”
“But it's so hard. We were so good together and then he had to go and ruin it. Maybe I should give him the chance to explain? I'm just so afraid that he'll lie to me again. How can I trust him?”
“Sometimes these things take a leap of faith. It's never easy giving your heart to someone, but the fact that you're so torn up about it tells me that you have deep feelings for this man. You're talking about him in a way that you never talked about Matt, or anyone else. You really love him, don't you?”
Scarlett's eyes glistened as she nodded. “Yeah, and I hate it. I wish it could be easier.”
“I thought you'd have known by now that life is never easy,” Janice said, chuckling. She reached out a hand and placed it on Scarlett's, squeezing it softly. “Look, you're a smart girl and I've watched you grow into a strong woman over the years. You've always had a good head on your shoulders, so I know you'll make the right decision. But right now, it seems to me that you really have two choices. Either you forget about him completely and move on, or you hear him out. Being stuck halfway between isn't doing you any good and it's only going to make the situation drag out.”
Scarlett knew her mother was right, but it meant that she had to make a decision, and that was one thing she wasn't sure she was ready to do. It either meant putting her heart on the line, ready to be broken, or saying goodbye to the only man she had ever truly loved.
“Did you and Dad ever go through anything like this?”
“No... no, not really. We got together so young that we never had the chance to do anything that would be secret from each other. We both made a conscious effort to share things. Sometimes we had to tell each other things we rather wouldn't, but when it came down to it, talking these things through always
brought us closer. I think secrets just create distance between people, and Jack should have been honest with you from the start.”
Scarlett's skin crawled for she knew that she was being dishonest to her mother by not telling her that Jack's wife was the other driver. Could she blame Jack for keeping that from her? She tried to imagine how she would have reacted had Jack told her straight away, but she couldn't put herself back in that situation. Too much had happened now, too many emotions had exploded within her. And now, when she thought of the night her sister died, there was no longer a faceless driver coming in the other direction. It was another person, another life, and somehow the rivers of fate had contrived to bring her and Jack together after all those years.
“I've missed this,” her mother said, smiling softly. The light of the moon danced in her eyes, and in the tired illumination of the night Scarlett realized how old her mother looked. Taking care of Steve, and the stress and worry that came with it, had aged her dramatically.
“Me too.”
“I know that you had to leave but sometimes I wished that you had stayed. I hate the way time moves on without any thought or consideration. But I'm glad you didn't go traveling after Lisa left us. I think that would have killed your father and I.”
“I thought about it, but there was no way I was going to leave you. Do you think Lisa would be proud of me, of the life I lived?”
“Scarlett, your sister worshiped you. She would have been proud of you no matter what.”
“I don't know about that. She always wanted to do different things than me.”
“And why do you think that was? She knew that she could never be as good as you, so she went in the complete opposite direction. She wanted to do all the things that you wouldn't, so that when it came down to it, the two of you had lived a complete life. You should really have been twins. You were so close.”
“I know... sometimes I think... oh god... is it really bad that sometimes I wish it had been me in that car instead of her? I just think that she would have really thrown herself into the world. She had such a big heart.”
