“Why would you wanna help me?” he asked Savvy after being shown how to speed up his turns.
“A rising tide lifts all boats,” Savvy shrugged. “We need the best out there and we need them to be hunted by the best.”
For the first time, he and Xanthe were able to settle into a “normal” dating relationship. He wasn’t always around when she was available, and she could work as late as she needed or go out with friends without feeling like she was leaving him behind.
They never spent more than two nights apart, rarely more than one.
He told Xanthe and his counsellor that the darkness had mostly gone. They saw him during the day and knew he was fine. Xanthe saw him the nights she came over, and he proved in as many different ways as she wanted, that he was fine.
The nights alone were the worst. Memories of Petherick standing next to him one minute and then, blackness. Reading the news reports to fill in the blanks. Fighting the panic of never being able to walk again, even though some days he swore his legs were getting stronger.
Knowing from the look in Xanthe’s eyes when they dodged mums with a tribe of children, how much she wanted them in her future. At some point, being able to satisfy her would take more than a hard cock and a vivid imagination. It would need giving her a family.
When she was lying beside him, he could reach for her and be comforted by the way she nuzzled her ass into him, or rolled back over into his arms.
Without her, the thoughts started their spiral and no amount of gym work or sleeping pills could help.
Six weeks and two days he’d gone without decent sleep when she was away, not that he made the connection without a huge nudge by the counsellor. Now, one night was okay, but two nights and he felt the demons take over.
He hated being her responsibility, and loathed the weakness that loving her created within him. If she ever left him … he could never …
Xanthe
Xanthe shyly found a space on the bleachers amongst the other partners. Mostly women with a couple of guys. All watching their men about to do battle.
“Hi, I’m Mel and this is Naomi. Who are you with?” they seemed about her age, mid to late twenties. They didn’t “look” like partners of disabled veterans, then again she had found out months ago there was no such thing as “normal” anymore.
They were women who loved a man who’d survived the enemy. Now they all faced a different one – depression, judgement and discrimination. At least since Mack started training, his depression had seemed at least controllable.
“Xanthe, this is Mack’s first game.”
They laughed as a cute two-year-old girl waddled over to be picked up by Mel. “Have you ever seen a game before?”
“No, I was going to download some but Mack wanted this to be my first time.”
“Sounds like a charmer. What is he?”
By now, Xanthe knew that the ice breaking question was all in code, “Incomplete L3-L5, what about your guys?”
Even though she worked in the hospital on base and recovery center here, she’d never talked woman to woman with other partners. It was as if they could have their own special language, especially how to deal with the emotional toll the injuries had taken on relationships and sex life.
“You can’t baby them – make them take out the washing and do the groceries.”
“But what if they can’t carry it all on the chair?” she asked. She’d never seen Mack do a grocery shop larger than dinner. When she was away, he spent a fortune on home deliveries and hated every one of them.
“Then they’ll learn to order online. The point is, let them do things for themselves. They need to know that they can.”
They were unashamed in giving her tips on using a vibrator to stimulate him when his body wasn’t behaving itself, and even some positions that she’d never even tried.
“How confident is he in a chair?” Mel waited until her daughter sat far enough away not to hear.
“I guess we’ll find out today,” she had no idea why the women laughed.
“Honey, I’m not talking about rugby, I’m talking about you! Get him to flip over onto his back. It’s a whole different experience. You can sit, straddle …”
“If’s he’s hungry he can gobble you up,” Naomi blushed. “I mean, I prefer doing my own flipping so we can sixty-nine, but whatever turns you on.”
“Really?” she had no idea until Mel whispered how. “OMG! That’s wild.”
“What’s the wildest you’ve done?”
“Hoist over the bed,” she winced, hoping they wouldn’t judge.
“Ahh, gives then the feeling of control,” Mel pointed to her daughter, “I’m pretty sure that’s how that little girl was made.”
Xanthe felt the twinges of jealousy. She could only hope.
The game was far fiercer than she expected. “Is it always like this?”
“Nah, this is tame. You should see the team of guys that used to play ice-hockey before they got their wheels. They are out for blood.”
Mack held his own out on the court and Xanthe didn’t know whether to cover her eyes or scream for him whenever he rolled after a big hit or tackle. The first time his chair turned, Mel grabbed her knee, “Smile so he can see you if he looks up. Plaster that smile of confidence on your face and make sure he thinks it’s real.”
Sure enough, he looked up and she mouthed, “Get up.”
“You’re doing okay. It’s hard at first seeing them out their, almost like kids without their training wheels. We’ve watched them wake up thinking they’ve lost their lives only to realize it was only a job. They still have an Army career if they want one.”
“Mack didn’t want to learn to drive until he found out that the best hand control converts are coupes,” she offered. These women understood, she had finally found her tribe.
“Cameron refused to go out in public with me, thought he was saving me from the humiliation,” Naomi said before cheering for her partner. Then she threw out a cheeky smile, “He changed his mind when I started offering rewards.”
“What sort of rewards,” Xanthe was learning so much.
“You know, sitting on his lap in public and giving him a good workout. You need a blanket, but no one ever questions a blanket over their lap, most folks think it is to hide their legs, but we know better!”
Oh, my! Would Mack go for a hand-job in public? Now it was her turn to blush, of course he would.
“Stop it Naomi,” Mel laughed. “We’ll either frighten Xanthe and she won’t want to hang with us again, or Mack will think we’re a bad influence.”
A gorgeous, well stacked blonde joined them, “Did you see who’s out there! Damon Mackenzie. Man, he’s built. Hope he didn’t lose his junk when he lost his legs.”
“Another one of your ex’, Sarah?” Mel flashed Xanthe an apologetic look.
“We had a fling, but nothing serious. He was never serious with any woman, I don’t think I ever met a bigger man-whore.”
Xanthe gave a slight shake of the head as the game finished, she didn’t want the girls to introduce her as Mack’s partner. It would be a pleasant surprise for all of them to see his reaction.
“Let’s go ladies, off to see our victorious warriors,” Naomi and Mel swung the little girl down to the floor and Xanthe’s heart broke at her father’s face as she ran into his lap.
Soon, she promised herself, very soon.
“Mack!” Sarah pushed forward to get to Mack before even greeting her own partner. “I didn’t expect to see you out here!”
Bitch was doing the whole lip and hair twirling right in front of her! She went to pull the woman away, by her plastic boobs if necessary when Naomi held her elbow. “Sarah and Karma have a complicated arrangement, don’t worry about her.”
“I’m not, but I’m not going to stand here and watch.”
“Slow down, the rules change when they’re in a chair. Let the women come onto them and boost their ego. Then take him home and see what he wants to d
o with that ego – the guys still remember what it was like to walk into a bar as fully-able war heroes. She can’t do any harm unless you let her.”
Mack’s initial confusion at Sarah’s greeting turned to concern that only faded when their eyes met. Xanthe raised her eyebrows with a shy grin, “What’cha gonna do about it?”
There wasn’t room on the chair, but Mack could still give her one of his panty-stripping kisses. Hot and sweaty, he had the glow of a man who owned his body and his space.
“I want to take you home this weekend, it’s about time you met my friends.” Her news could wait until then.
“My car and I’m driving!” before kissing her again.
“Mack, are you guys coming for a drink?” Naomi’s partner, Cameron, shouted. “It’ll be back at our house, no bar could handle this much metal!”
Xanthe saw the look in his eyes, the kiss had him in the same place she was. Yes, they could go home and finish what the kiss started, but they could have some fun with new friends, first.
“Can we pick up some pizzas on the way?” she asked before lowering her voice so only Mack could hear, “Kiss me like that again in the car and watch my panties come off on the way to get the food.”
Mack
He had loved the speed of the game, from tip off until the final whistle. He’d only played two quarters but each one of his hand passes had found their mark. His team even cheered him on when a strong tackle ended up in the penalty box. The specialist chair was one part of him and when he let fly down the court, no one could catch him.
Xanthe had never looked happier, the other girls had adopted her and if Sarah didn’t scare her off, no one would.
“You know Sas?” Karma asked as they swapped back for their regular wheels.
“Used to, how long have you been together?”
“On and off for three years. Now we’re back on.”
Crap, he’d been with her in one of their breaks. “Are we cool?” he kept it light, these guys were becoming too important to let a mistake from his past mess things up.
“She make a play for you out there?”
“If she did, I didn’t notice. I used to be player but these days Xanthe has all of my attention.”
“The cute brunette? A bit bland for my taste.” Mack bristled, then again anyone would look bland next to Sarah and her caked-on makeup, wild hair and silicone boobs. He had vague memories of them looking better than they felt.
“Like I said, are we cool?”
“I’ve been in this chair for most of the time Sas and I have been together. I get that she is out there, but as long as you respect me, we’re cool.”
Mack had never been more sincere, “I hear you, if a man puts a hand on Xanthe, no fucking chair will save him.”
Xanthe was like a giddy school girl planning for their weekend back home. Her mother was travelling around Australia trying to find husband number six, but most of her friends were in town and keen to catch up.
Mack tried to calm his nerves, ever since that couple had thought Xanthe had to be a hooker, he’d been hypersensitive to the looks they got out in public. It had been hard enough finding a hotel with a wheelchair friendly room available, but Xanthe was going out of her way to make sure that she knew what bars and restaurants would fit a chair through the doorways.
He hated being a burden and tried to focus on how excited she was to show him off. For her, he’d ignore the judgement and pity. For Xanthe, he’d try to do what they were both expecting from her friends – to accept him without prejudging.
If only he hadn’t six months of learning about human nature.
At least they took his new car, his baby. Low, sleek and red. In any other circumstances it would be his pride and joy. Luckily, the car dealer had walked straight past the huge SUVs that he thought he’d be stuck with and explained how much easier the conversion was for the coupe, the long and wide doors were perfect for getting in and out of, and there was more power under the bonnet than he ever hoped for.
Driving was easy and with Xanthe sitting beside him, they could have been any other couple in love.
Maybe this weekend he’d pull up the courage and tell her. The only reason he hadn’t until now was because he wanted to know that this was real, for both of them. He’d never said the words to a woman before and even though he and Xanth both threw around the words, “I love it when you do that” and “I love waking up with you,” saying the three words were something more. Once said, they could never be taken back.
“I just got a text, there’s a band at the pub and everyone’s in the beer garden. Want to go?”
“Let’s give it a go.” They were only twenty minutes away.
Xanthe
It was getting harder to hide her stomach churning. If everything went well, this would be a weekend that they’d remember forever. She only needed to hide her secret a little longer.
The closer they got to home the more familiar the sign posts and buildings. Even the smell of the ocean seemed different, familiar, home.
“Turn left down here and hopefully we can get a park out the front.”
“Not too many disabled cars?”
“I guess not,” she’d never noticed, not until now. Her world had changed and her eyes opened since Mack. They’d both grown up in ways they never expected that night on the sun lounge.
“Did you have any idea?” she loved that she didn’t have to explain.
“I knew that I couldn’t let you make up with your ex.”
“Was never going to happen, Krys would never forgive me.”
“Is she at the pub?”
“Yeah, I can’t wait to see her and she’s gonna absolutely love you,” Xanthe soothed.
Getting a car park was easy, it was getting through the crowded bar to the beer garden out the back. Xanthe pushed ahead, trying to clear the path for Mack but losing him every meter or so and having to go back. No one was rude, it was the way things were with a chair.
“I should have just sat on your lap and kicked people out of the way,” she whispered, recognizing the look of panic. Most of the Army guys had it in crowds when they weren’t flanked by their unit. Once they lost mobility, it was worse. They couldn’t shake the training that had kept them alive in the field even when they were safe at home.
“Xanth!” She looked for the squeals before being picked up and swung around by Krys then passed over to Krys’ brothers.
“Xanth, babe good to see you,” Pat nearly crushed her with his hug.
“Mack, you would have met Krys that night at the bar. These gorgeous guys here are her brothers Pat and Michael.”
She could have slapped every one of them when they looked to her and each other before knowing how to either say “hello” or shake his hand.
“Seriously guys, this is my partner, Lieutenant Damon Mackenzie.”
“You still a soldier?” Michael was the first to shake Mack’s hand and ask an insulting question. Xanthe wanted desperately to jump in and answer for him but had learned that Mack needed to fight his own social battles. Sometimes he did it with charm and other times he could cut people so quickly they didn’t even realize it happened.
She saw the smile before he said, “Tis a bit of a scratch, I’ve ‘ad worse,” in such a fake British accent that all her friends laughed – with him.
“Black Knight, so do we call it a flesh wound?” Pat smiled, offering his own hand.
“What can I say, none shall pass!” Mack had won over the brothers and she didn’t have a clue what they were talking about.
“Let me buy you a beer, what’ll you have?”
“Whatever’s going. Xanth, what do you want?”
“I’ll start with some of this lemon, lime and bitters,” she filled a spare glass from the communal jug before finding her seat in his lap.
Once the band started up again, she felt Mack relax and he even pushed her to join her friends on the small, make-shift dance floor.
“Are you sure?” she c
alled.
“I was always a lover, not a dancer,” he pulled her in for one last kiss before losing her in the tug-of-war with Krys.
“You look happy,” shouted Krys over the music.
“What gave it away.”
“I guess he’ll never cheat on you.”
“Only because …” how could she explain that he gave up other women long before his injury or that if he wanted other women now, he’d have them lining at his door. Instead, she hugged her friend. “I’ve never been happier.”
“Good, look you should know …” the song finished and the dancefloor cleared as the band took another break.
“Come on, I want to get back to my man,” Xanthe almost skipped back to their table, stopping when she saw Pat and Michael trying to stop a drunk approaching her. Mack looked like thunder and she heard Krys curse behind her.
“Xanthe fuckin Davies. Is this the fucking tool you did me over for?”
The crowd around them went silent and Xanthe shook her head, no, no, no this couldn’t be happening. Not when everything was going so good.
Her ex finally pushed past the boys as she fought her way back to Mack. His eyes were blank, staring past her at the man he once stood over.
“So, Xanthe how’s a man suppose to feel when you trade him in for a cripple? I mean, you were never the most exciting lay but I bet you are wishing you were with me, now.”
“Mack, don’t, please,” only the two of them knew she was talking about him shutting her out of his darkness.
“What are you scared of, Xanth? That I’ll hurt him? He’s not so tough now!” her ex pushed off the restraining arms of Pat to grab her from behind. She stumbled and fell backwards, missing Mack and his chair. With the momentum and drunkedness, her ex landed uncomfortably in Mack’s lap.
With all the strength from his training and six months of rage, Xanthe could only watch as Mack grabbed her ex by the throat in one large hand. “I’ll only say this once, treat all women, with respect.” Her friends cleared as one punch sent her ex flying to the ground, clenching his jaw. This time, Michael handed him over to a bouncer.
Protect Her (Aussie Military Romance Book 2) Page 13
