by Lee, A. H.
“Stay,” whispered Mal, his voice thick with sleep. “Please stay.”
But Azrael was blinking and rubbing his eyes. Jessica stirred, but didn’t wake. Mal saw the clock on the wall: 2 a.m.
The night’s half over. What’s the point of leaving? I’ll be good. I’ll be so good.
“Mal.” Azrael’s sleepy fingers plucked at Mal’s hand on his hip.
Mal gave an unhappy groan. “Stay.”
“Mal,” repeated Azrael, more awake now. “Let me go.” His voice sank to a whisper. “Please.”
Mal let go of him, and Azrael slipped off the bed and out the door. Mal sagged. Then he got up and turned out the lamp.
Chapter 31
Azrael
Azrael had been working in the garden for two hours, and the sun was burning off the morning mist, by the time Mal came out of the cottage the next day. It was cold, and he was wearing a long duster coat—probably real—over the kind of simple clothes he could make for himself. They looked like wool and linen today—black trousers, green shirt.
He sat down at the table without speaking, slouched, and rested his head on his arms. His dark curls ruffled in the morning breeze. He was watching Azrael from under those long lashes, his green eyes soulful.
Well, say something. Interrupt me. You always do.
But Mal didn’t say anything. He looked at Azrael’s left hand, resting on the table, but he didn’t say a word.
Don’t do it, Azrael told himself. Do not do it. “Where’s Jessica?” he asked, just to have something to say.
“She went for a walk,” said Mal. He didn’t sound sullen, and Azrael felt absurdly grateful for that. “She’ll come back and write letters. This is letter-writing day.”
Azrael smiled in spite of himself. “But I’m here.”
Mal smirked. “You’re not the only person she writes to. She cheats on you with dozens of others.”
“Dozens? Really?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Tod and Yuli from back home. Her mother, one of her cousins, I think. Siblings, her aunt, some man we met in the Desert States. Jessica is an excellent correspondent.”
Azrael almost said something foolish. Her first letter got me out of my rooms for the first time in a week. Her second letter got me thinking straight enough to call Lucy. And I still missed you so much I thought it would kill me. But I let you go, Mal. I let you go. So go.
Mal was staring at his hand again. Not begging. Not sulking. Just watching.
Don’t. Azrael felt as though he were a puppet and someone else was pulling the strings. He held out his hand to Mal without looking at him. I have completely lost my mind. If you eat me, I suppose I deserve it.
Mal didn’t pounce on his hand today. He sat up a little straighter, reached out, and ran his fingers from the crook of Azrael’s elbow, all the way down the inside of his arm and into his palm. Azrael’s stomach felt as though it had turned into jelly. He could feel his heartbeat through his entire body. Well, fuck.
Mal bent his head and started kissing Azrael’s fingertips. His mouth was startlingly hot, his tongue wet and muscular, swirling around the pad of Azrael’s index finger, his teeth barely grazing the skin. Azrael felt warm all over. He was acutely aware of his own arousal. Mal spread Azrael’s fingers flat on the table and kissed his palm. He moved slowly up to his wrist and nibbled.
Azrael opened his eyes. He had not been aware of shutting them.
Mal was watching him with that self-satisfied smirk which Azrael found at once infuriating and incredibly attractive. “I’m not using magic,” said Mal as though he were answering a question. “You just like me.”
Azrael could feel the flush climbing his neck. “Can we say you win, and get back to work?”
Mal kept smiling. He cradled Azrael’s hand with one of his own and ran his other thumb in delicate circles up his arm. “Boss, you are making great time on this gate. Probably because Mab gifted us with a lot of fuel. I will have to feed this evening, but even if we mess around for half the morning, you’ll finish this today.”
“Good,” said Azrael. “I want to test it and probably make another jump point into Bethsaria.”
Mal’s fingers kept moving.
Azrael crumpled. He put down his pen and covered his face with his free hand. “Mal…” It came out in a defeated whimper.
Mal scooted over so that he was right beside him, and folded Azrael’s arm between both of his. “What? Why does this bother you so much? Why don’t you want to talk about what we’re doing? If it’s something I did before I can remember, please tell me. Even if you don’t think I deserve to know, I need to know. Tell me.”
Azrael folded his right hand in his lap and stared desperately at the table. “It’s not one thing, Mal. It’s… You and I have been engaged in a mutual arms race for two decades. I keep refining my wards, and you keep…tailoring yourself to my tastes.”
He could feel Mal’s grin even without looking.
“You know!” snapped Azrael. “You already know this!”
“Yes, but it’s so hard for me to tell! It’s so hard for me to tell that you like me!”
Azrael shut his eyes. “I like you.”
“Good. I like you, too. Why does this have to be complicated?”
“Because…” Because I have spent my entire adult life protecting myself from this fact!
“I’m the reason you’re so good at wards,” said Mal, as though this were a delightful revelation.
Azrael forgot to be embarrassed and turned to glare at him. “Yes, of course you’re the reason I’m good at wards! You’re one of the most powerful astral demons I’ve ever seen! If I can ward against you, I can ward against anything! How could you possibly not have put that together?”
Mal was still grinning, and they were practically nose-to-nose. He raised a knuckle to the hollow of Azrael’s throat and ran it gently up over his Adam’s apple all the way to his chin. Azrael’s stomach did a flip-flop into his shoes. He started to tremble.
Mal held his chin, and Azrael stared into his green eyes, feeling small and helpless. “You like rules,” murmured Mal, “so let’s make some. I won’t put my hands below your waist. I won’t take your clothes off. Can you calm down if I promise that?”
Azrael swallowed. If you could see past my wards right now, you’d know you could end me. “I’ll try,” he whispered.
Mal smoothed one warm thumb over Azrael’s mouth, over his cheekbone. Azrael wondered how something so exquisitely pleasurable could make him feel as though he might throw up. For an instant, he was sure Mal was going to kiss him, and then Mal took Azrael’s face in both hands and rested their foreheads together. His voice had lost its certainty. “You look so scared.”
Oh hell. Azrael tilted his face up. “Just kiss me, Mal. For fuck’s sake just—”
Chapter 32
Mal
Kiss me! You’re kissing me! Azrael was quivering against him, kissing him desperately. Mal opened his mouth, ran his tongue over Azrael’s, sucked on his lip for a moment, gave him time to catch his breath, then kissed him again—deeper, slower.
Azrael slid his arms around Mal’s neck, and Mal spread his broad hands over Azrael’s back, curling over his shoulders, pulling him as close as possible on the bench. Mal broke off to trail tongue-swirling kisses from Azrael’s chin to his collarbone and into the top of his shirt.
Azrael made a breathless whimper.
Mal worked his way back up the side of his throat to his ear. He sucked on his earlobe for a moment, and Azrael groaned. “Mal, stop.” His voice had gone deep. It had a hitch. “Stop, please, I can’t stand it.”
Mal laughed against his ear and moved back to his mouth. He kissed him until they were both breathless. Azrael was still shivering as though he was cold, but Mal felt certain that he wasn’t. Mal started down his neck again, nuzzled into the top of his shirt. He lightly nibbled the skin on the top of his shoulder. “Are you really a virgin?” he asked between kisses.
Azrae
l had one hand buried in Mal’s curls, his face against the side of Mal’s neck. He made a sound that probably would have been an indignant huff if he hadn’t been shaking with desire. “No one,” he panted, “who has watched you for twenty years could call themselves that.”
“Looking isn’t the same as doing,” murmured Mal against his skin.
“Well, it looks ridiculous.”
“It doesn’t feel ridiculous.”
“Mal,” Azrael’s voice sounded small again. “I already t-told you I would. I already said—”
Mal returned to his mouth. “Shhh, I know.”
Azrael started to put a hand inside Mal’s coat and stopped.
“You can do that,” said Mal. “The rules are for me. You put your hands anywhere you want.”
Azrael gave a jittery laugh. “You’re so warm.”
“Aw.” Mal opened his coat and pulled Azrael’s arms inside it. It’s not like you’re even touching my skin, silly. But it did feel more intimate with nothing but the shirt between his body and Azrael’s hands.
Mal thought about putting a hand inside Azrael’s more fitted coat, but he didn’t want to do anything that might spook him. He really wanted to put Azrael in his lap, but he decided that could wait, too. Mal kissed him and held him through the layers of fabric, and felt Azrael’s heart beating frantically against his chest.
Chapter 33
Jessica
Jessica came in from her walk feeling refreshed and invigorated, already composing a letter in her head. She stopped in the kitchen for a glass of water and was about to sit down at the table to write, when she caught a glimpse through the garden window.
Mal and Azrael were kissing. Finally! Jessica came over for a better look.
They were really kissing. Mal had wrapped Azrael up in his coat, and Azrael was holding him like he’d come home. He was letting Mal nuzzle his head around—rough kisses all the way down his throat into his shirt. Mal caught a fistful of Azrael’s hair and tilted his head back. Azrael was adorably flushed.
Jessica bit her lip. Well, now I can’t concentrate at all.
Chapter 34
Mal
They were trading feather-light kisses, and it felt as though they were passing a breath back and forth between them. Mal had completely lost track of time. Azrael’s mouth looked pink. Mal wanted to leave a hickey on his throat, teeth marks in his shoulder, but he thought he shouldn’t. I want you naked in my arms. I want your cock in my hand. I want you under me and moaning.
I made rules. I said I’d follow them. Mal was finding it harder and harder to remember why. “Maybe we should work on your gate…”
“What gate?” mumbled Azrael. He took Mal’s hand and slid it under his coat.
Mal’s resolve crumbled immediately. Right. What gate?
Azrael was warmer under his coat, his back firm, the muscles shifting under Mal’s fingers. Mal thought about untucking Azrael’s shirt, sliding his hand against warm skin, over the small of his back. I said I wouldn’t take your clothes off; I didn’t say I wouldn’t put my hands under them. But he didn’t. He ran his hands up and down from Azrael’s armpit to his hip and felt him tremble with pleasure. I really really want you naked.
Mal could almost hear Lucy say, “Blunt instrument.”
I’m not, Mal told himself. I can be sensitive. I can be tactful. I can be patient.
“We really should work on the gate,” muttered Azrael.
“What gate?” said Mal.
Azrael kept kissing him. He was radiating sexual energy. Mal could almost taste it just behind the wards. Azrael’s magic seemed to call to him like a lost piece of himself—the most delicious thing he could possibly consume. Could his wards really stand up to me? If I tried… Mal felt a moment of vertigo, as though he were two people, pulling in opposite directions.
Azrael stopped for breath and Mal took the opportunity to tuck his master’s head against his neck and shoulder. He folded him up in his arms, in his coat, and hugged him tight. Maybe we shouldn’t do this when I’m hungry.
Mal could feel Azrael’s quick, shallow breaths against his skin. He cradled Azrael’s head with one hand, petted his hair. Let’s slow down. I need to slow down.
He tried to hug Azrael even closer on the bench, but that really wasn’t possible. “Can I put you in my lap?”
To his surprise, Azrael nodded without looking up.
He’d say yes to anything right now, whispered a nasty voice in Mal’s head. Anything.
Mal swung Azrael’s legs over his lap and pulled him up crosswise. It wasn’t what he truly wanted, but it got them snuggled closer together. Azrael was boneless in his arms, unresisting. He had two fistfuls of Mal’s shirt. Mal ran a finger around his ear and along his neck.
He felt Azrael smile. “Are you petting me?”
Mal laughed. It felt good to laugh. The strange, panicky tension in his chest loosened. “Am I your magical focus?” Maybe you’ll actually tell me now.
Azrael spoke quietly, without hesitation or any apparent concern. “All sorcerers collar demons to channel their magic. But not all sorcerers put a piece of themselves in the collar. When I have your attention, you are pushing magic at me. I’m pulling and you’re pushing at the same time. It makes the spells stronger, makes them come together faster. It also means that you’re using me a little like a focus.”
Mal was struck speechless. He was still trying to process what Azrael had just told him when Azrael drew back a little to look him in the face. “Some people would call this a compromising position.”
Mal could not resist the invitation to innuendo. “This is nothing. You should see the way I want to put you in my lap.”
Azrael smiled—shy, innocent. He looked terribly young in that moment.
Mal kissed him on the nose.
“I’m surprised that you aren’t trying to pick my wards apart.”
Oh, I want to. “I can be good.”
“Mal! Ren!” came Jessica’s voice from the cottage. “Are you at a stopping place? Because it’s noon, and there’s still leftover goose…”
Chapter 35
Jessica
They came in, looking sheepish and rumpled. Azrael stared at the clock as though he thought it might be broken. “Noon?”
Jessica tried very hard not to grin at him and failed.
Azrael shut his eyes. “What?”
“Your hair…”
Azrael glanced at his reflection in the mirror over the sink and swore. He tried to smooth down his hair, gave up, started towards the bathroom. He stopped abruptly. “Why do I feel as though every time I leave the room you two are comparing notes about me?”
“Only love notes!” called Jessica. She turned to Mal, who looked just as tousled. He also looked a little desperate. “Do you…want to come out to the icebox with me and see if we have any more butter?” she ventured.
“Yes,” he said, almost before she’d finished the sentence.
The instant they were in the shed, Mal pushed her up against the wall and kissed her. “Was it fun?” whispered Jessica. He already had a hand under her dress.
“Oh, gods, Jessica, he kissed me! He let me hold him!”
She giggled. “And you’re so hard you can barely stand it.”
“How does he stand it? What is wrong with him? We should have been fucking on the picnic table!” His fingers slid inside her panties, rubbing back and forth. “You’re already wet.”
“Two guesses why,” gasped Jessica.
“Were you watching us?”
“Of course I was watching you!”
His fingers circled her clit. “Did you get off?”
“Once,” she whimpered as he nuzzled her head back.
“Oh, that’s not fair.”
“You kissed him all morning! I felt left out! It was totally fair!”
Jessica’s panties hit the floor. Mal hiked her dress up around her waist, lifted her, and pinned her against the wall in the dim shed. Jessica wrapped her leg
s around him. She was slick and ready, but he still felt startlingly large as he buried himself inside her.
“Mal…” she panted. “Mal, Mal, Mal…”
He started to thrust, his powerful body driving against her, and Jessica felt overwhelmed in the best possible way. He was inside her, so much of him inside her, his shoulders rock hard beneath her clenched arms. He pulled on her magic, and the orgasm unspooled through her like a cresting wave. Mal came an instant later, his cock pressed deep, his face against her throat.
Jessica smoothed her hands through his hair as he relaxed. “You are such a sweet incubus,” she murmured. “You are being so patient.”
“I don’t feel patient,” he whispered. “I almost… I think I should feed soon. I mean really.” Mal could take magic from Jessica, but he couldn’t take much without hurting her. In the end, all they really did was pass magic back and forth.
Jessica got her feet under her one at a time, her hands still around Mal’s shoulders. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. Let’s go to the Electric Octagon this evening—that place Azrael wanted to go on the first night. It’s not a school night for the college kids, and there’s a band playing; I saw the schedule. Lots of sexual energy.”
Mal nodded.
Jessica reiterated her plans over lunch. Azrael frowned. “Alright,” he said to Mal. “You feed this evening. I want to thread the gate tomorrow morning. That means we need it completely anchored before we leave tonight.”
“I think we can do that,” said Mal.
“I know we can do it,” said Azrael. “If you pay attention.”
As far as Jessica could tell, Mal did as he was asked. She finished her letters that afternoon, and every time she looked out the window, Mal and Azrael were quiet and still around the map—not touching each other, just working. Around sunset, Mal came to the door of the cottage and said, “Jessica, we’re about to burn the map; you might like to watch.”
