“We need to talk.”
She shook her head. “No. We don’t.” She wasn’t going to argue over this again. “I tried to explain to you what happened but you didn’t want to listen. I’d forgotten how pigheaded you are.”
“Shelby.”
“Once you get an idea in that thick head of yours, there’s no changing it. You charge ahead and won’t listen to anyone. It’s one of the reasons—” She crossed her arms over her chest and forged ahead. “I know you must have been frantic. I don’t blame you, but how could you think for one moment that I would waltz off into the wilderness with your son without making sure he had permission? I know, I probably should have double-checked, but it never occurred to me that Kenny wasn’t being truthful.”
“Shelby.”
“I did ask him, Matt. I really did but—”
“Shelby!”
“What?”
“Kenny told me what happened. All of it. I jumped to conclusions. I shouldn’t have.”
She blinked. “Oh.” His apology was the last thing she’d expected.
“I reacted out of fear and concern for my son.”
“I understand. Really.”
He held her gaze a moment. “Good.”
Shelby grasped the opportunity to bring up another matter she wanted to discuss. “Matt, maybe this is a good time to clear the air between us.”
“Meaning?”
“Call a truce. Put the past behind us and move forward. Neither of us can change what happened.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, searching for the right words. “I like your children. I like helping Gramma watch them after school, and I think they like me. Isn’t that all that matters?”
He met her gaze and set his jaw. “Are you going back to New York?”
“I have a job there.” Maybe.
“Right, and what’s going to happen to Cassidy and Kenny when you suddenly pull up stakes and leave? They’ve already lost their mother. They don’t need to grieve over someone else.”
Shelby shook her head in disagreement. “Matt, they’re smart kids. They’ll understand the difference between the death of a parent and a friend moving away.” She faced him, holding his gaze. “The problems between us happened a long time ago. We shouldn’t let our old resentments spill over onto the children. We’re the adults here. Or at least we’re supposed to be.” Matt ran a hand through his hair and turned away. “Shouldn’t we set aside the past and at least try and be friends? For their sake?”
Matt held her gaze a long moment before nodding. “All right. For their sake.”
Shelby watched Matt walk away, bittersweet sadness encasing her heart. She’d hoped for a new beginning, a do-over of sorts, but she could see Matt was still unwilling to forgive her completely.
She sympathized with his desire to shield his children from emotional pain, but she wondered if his fierce need to protect was more about him than them. If only she could help him somehow. If only they could be friends again, talk things through the way they used to. Turning, she walked inside the house. There were no do-overs for them. She’d destroyed all hope for any relationship fifteen years ago when she’d given his ring back. She was beginning to think that was the biggest mistake of her life.
*
Matt picked up the cardboard box and carried it to the far corner of the Handy Works shed. He was helping his dad restock supplies. Setting the box on the workbench, he sliced it open and pulled back the flaps. Friends. She wanted to be friends. Not in a million years. But she was right about calling a truce. He couldn’t keep flaring up like a porcupine whenever she was around, and he didn’t want his kids caught up in their past.
He stared into the carton of nails. The tension between them still vibrated along his nerves. Something about her bothered him. More than the simple fact that whenever he was near her, his heart did strange things and his blood warmed as if standing next to a fire. He could dismiss that as simple attraction. A leftover reaction from when he’d been in love with her. It meant nothing. What puzzled him was his unshakable feeling that she needed protecting.
Shelby had always been focused and determined. She’d possessed a self-confidence far beyond her years. It was one of the things that had attracted him to her. She was completely different from the silly girls he’d dated in high school, and the coeds he’d met his first two years in college. But he’d sensed much of her bravado was a cover for her insecurities. That realization had always made him feel protective toward her. An assumption he’d learned the hard way was a lie. Shelby Russell didn’t need anyone. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.
So what was triggering this desire to protect?
“Son, are you going to put those boxes of nails on the shelf, or are you just going to stare into the carton for a while?”
“Sorry, Dad. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Hmm. Shelby Russell?”
“How did you know?”
His dad leaned a hip against the counter and looked at him. “I saw her in town this afternoon. It was good to see her again.”
“Yeah. Great.” Apparently no one viewed her return the same way he did.
“Oh. I see. Well, I wanted to find out if you knew why she was back?”
“She says an overdue vacation. Why? What did she tell you?”
“She said she wanted to spend time with her grandmother.” Tom shook his head. “But I don’t know.”
Finally! Someone else who shared his doubts. “You don’t believe her?”
“How does she look to you?”
Beautiful. Delicate. Like a balmy spring day. Matt rubbed his forehead. Where had that come from? “I didn’t really notice. We’ve only spoken a few times.”
“She doesn’t look well to me,” Tom observed. “She’s too pale, and that sparkle is missing from her eyes. Something’s not right there. Your mom grew concerned when I told her, so I thought I’d check with you.”
Matt set his jaw. “She’s fine as far as I know.”
“Your mom mentioned that she and Ellen are watching the kids for you in the afternoons. That’s convenient.”
“Yeah, but I’m still looking for alternatives.”
“Oh. Why? I thought the kids liked Ellen.”
“They do. It’s Shelby I’m concerned about.”
“Why’s that?”
Matt pulled out a handful of boxes and shoved them to the back of the shelf. “Because my kids already like her, and knowing her, she’s likely to run back to New York without any warning and leave them brokenhearted. I don’t want them to lose someone else they’ve grown close to.”
His father nodded, then turned and faced him. “So you think you need to protect them?”
“Yes. They’ve been through enough.”
“Son, you know you can’t protect people from caring about others. No one has that power.”
“I can try.”
Tom came and stood by Matt’s side. “Are you sure this is about protecting their hearts or your own?”
*
The sanctuary of Hope Chapel wrapped around Shelby like one of Gramma’s hugs the moment she stepped inside the old church off the square Sunday morning. Her grandfather had been the minister here for decades. It was as familiar as her grandmother’s home.
She settled into the pew near the middle, sadness welling up in her heart. How had she strayed so far from her faith? When had she wandered off the path and ignored the beliefs she was raised with?
Gramma smiled over at her, and Shelby clasped her slender hand in hers, taking comfort from the contact. It hadn’t been an intentional decision. Nothing had occurred to cause her to reject her faith. She’d simply drifted away until it wasn’t even a part of her existence. Being here now made her realize what was lacking in her life—her connection to her Lord.
The organist began to play. Shelby recognized the hymn immediately. “Come Thou Fount of Many Blessings.” It had been one of her favorites. One verse came sharply into her mind, the one
about being prone to wander from God.
The words and the notes reverberated through her soul, reminding her of truths she’d too long ignored. She had wandered, and somewhere along the road she’d completely left God behind. Gramma had suggested that her current trials could be the Lord’s way of pulling her back to Him. Maybe she was right after all. Maybe what she needed was the strength and comfort only He could give.
Her gaze drifted toward the family sitting a few rows ahead. Matt and his children. Cassidy was whispering to the little girl beside her. Kenny had his head resting against his father’s shoulder. The sight warmed her heart but left her with a strange sense of isolation. Shelby turned her attention to the elder as he stepped to the pulpit, only half listening as he reminded the congregation about the youth group outing and family-night supper.
“And now I believe Matt Durrant has an announcement.”
Shelby jerked her head up as Matt walked briskly to the pulpit. He smiled. Her heart stopped. In his dark suit, crisp white shirt and patterned tie he looked professional, as comfortable in the boardroom as he’d looked in work clothes.
“Good morning. I want to remind you that we are always in need of volunteers for the Handy Works ministry. We still have a few slots open for the end of the month. Anyone who is handy with a hammer, a rake or a paintbrush, we can use your help. Call the church office or leave a message with our answering service. Thank you.”
The lump of shame in Shelby’s throat nearly choked her. She bowed her head, afraid to look at Matt. How he must despise her. She’d arrogantly assumed that he was nothing more than a handyman. No wonder he’d been so curt and gruff each time they’d spoken.
Forgive me, Father. Apparently the Lord was trying to get her attention on several levels. Maybe it was time she stopped resisting her situation and followed Gramma’s advice. Give it over to the Lord and trust in His wisdom. Do her part and let Him do his.
An hour later, Shelby came downstairs and went into the kitchen. “Anything I can do to help?” Gramma was still in her church clothes as she prepared Sunday dinner.
“Why don’t you finish peeling these potatoes while I change?”
Shelby glanced into the pot. “That looks like a lot of potatoes for the two of us.”
Ellen smiled and bobbed her eyebrows up and down. “That’s because it’s not. I want you to run next door and ask Matt and the children to come for dinner.”
Shelby whirled to face her grandmother. “You want them to eat with us?”
“Certainly. I often have them over.”
Shelby released a nervous sigh as her grandmother disappeared from the room. She and Matt had reached a truce of sorts and they had shared a meal the other night when Cassidy had cooked, but that seemed very different from having them at her gramma’s dinner table. A meal here meant family, friends, closeness. At the very least it would have been better if Gramma had invited them herself.
Quickly, she finished preparing the potatoes, then braced herself to deliver the invitation. Well, she’d see just how solid their new truce actually was. Maybe Matt already had other plans. Maybe he’d refuse. Maybe he wasn’t even home.
She’d seen him as they were leaving church that morning, but they hadn’t spoken. Cassidy and Kenny had waved and smiled. Matt had nodded from across the sanctuary, his expression unreadable.
She knocked on the door, holding her breath. She prayed Cassidy would answer. No such luck. Matt stood there before her, tall, handsome, causing her heart to ache for what could have been. She inhaled a whiff of his aftershave and lost her focus. “Uh. Hi. I, that is, Gramma wanted me to invite you to—you and the children—to dinner. But I’ll understand if you have other plans. I know this is short notice, so don’t feel obligated.” Matt stared at her so long she began to squirm under his scrutiny. Thankfully, Chester scooted out the door and propped his paws on her knees. “Hey, fellow. How are you?” She glanced up at Matt to find his expression had softened somewhat.
“Sure. We’ll be right over. The kids love having dinner with Ellen.”
“Oh, well, good. It’ll be ready in about half an hour.”
He nodded. “We know the drill. I’ll bring the salad.”
“What?”
“That’s our usual contribution to the meal.”
“Oh. Okay then. Bye.”
Shelby turned and went down the steps, not knowing how to feel about his acceptance. She’d been fully prepared for him to refuse simply because she was asking. It might be an uncomfortable meal. She’d just have to make the best of it. She was the outsider here. She’d cut herself off from this life, run away and never looked back.
No, that wasn’t true. She’d looked back several times and wondered if she’d made the right decision. Doubts had plagued her so relentlessly that the only way she’d been able to deal with them was to block everything out. Dover and Matt simply didn’t exist.
A half hour later they were all seated around the large dining room table saying grace. Shelby absently moved her food around on her plate as the conversation swirled around her. Cassidy and Kenny chatted about their friends and their school. Matt and Gramma discussed local issues and his mother’s campaign. Shelby might as well have been invisible.
“Shelby Kay, you remember Clara Wilkins, don’t you? She had the fabric store next to the card shop.”
Shelby shook her head, uncomfortably aware of all eyes on her. “No, I don’t remember her.”
“Oh, I guess you were off at college about that time.”
Shelby groaned inwardly. The one point in time she did not want to bring up with Matt at the table. The conversation continued, leaving her on the outside. Cassidy and Kenny took over the discussion, telling funny stories about Chester. Shelby braved a glance at Matt. He was watching his children with a pride in his eyes that hurt her heart. Every word they spoke, every gesture and smile, brought a light to his eyes. It was obvious to anyone who cared to look that Matt loved his children with his whole being.
She remembered a similar light in his eyes once when he looked at her. But she’d walked away from that love. Odd. She’d left Dover to find everything she’d ever dreamed of. Now she was wondering if what she really wanted had been here all along.
“It’s a wonderful ministry, Shelby.”
Shelby pulled her attention back to her grandmother. “Ma’am?”
“Handy Works. Matt and his family started it a year or so ago, and it’s been such a blessing to this town.”
Shelby glanced at Matt. He was staring at her, and she thought she saw a smirk on his face.
“We have a number of elderly and poor in our community who can’t afford to hire people to do yard work or repairs on their homes,” Matt explained. “We provide that for them. Thankfully we’re also blessed with a large number of people who are willing to share their time and skills to help out.”
Shelby swallowed her pride. “It’s a wonderful thing you’re doing.”
“Thanks, but it’s only a small ambition.”
Heat infused her cheeks. Would he never let her forget those cruel words? Gathering her courage, Shelby decided to assert herself. “So what do you do for a living, Matt?”
“Daddy’s a teacher,” Kenny chimed in. “He teaches at a grown-ups’ school.”
Matt pinned her in place with his navy blue gaze.
“I teach at the local community college during the week and a few online classes at night.” One corner of his mouth twitched as he stared at her. “I have a full slate of classes this semester, but normally it’s part-time. I want to spend as much time with my kids as I can. They’re my only ambition now.”
There it was again. That dig at her harsh words from long ago. Shelby decided that silence might be the best course of action for the rest of the meal. She’d been stung enough for one day.
*
Matt glanced across the table at Shelby, regretting his sarcastic comment. Her gaze was focused on her plate, but he could see the dejected slump to her
shoulders. She’d been silent most of the meal, only speaking when spoken to and then responding in clipped tones. She had made few attempts to enter into the conversation.
Their small-town topics obviously bored her. She was too worldly for the likes of Dover. Matt took a sip of his tea, remembering the stunned look on her face when he’d been addressing the congregation about Handy Works. He’d taken a smug satisfaction at the time from putting her in her place. He was ashamed of that now. It was out of character for him to play those games. They’d agreed to a truce, to behaving like adults, and he wasn’t holding up his end of the bargain.
“Dad, can Miss Shelby come to Gramma and Grandpa’s special picnic?”
Matt stared at his plate a long moment. How was it that children could always ask the wrong questions at the wrong time? “I’m not sure if Miss Shelby will still be here for the picnic, Cassidy. She has an important job she has to go back to.” Shelby shot him a glance filled with fire, her expression dark and challenging.
“I have no immediate plans to leave.”
Matt stifled a grin. His gibe had hit a nerve. “Aren’t you anxious to get back to the big city?” He still wasn’t convinced that she would hang around for the six weeks she had mentioned. He was prepared to wake up one day and find her gone. No explanation, no goodbye.
Shelby raised her chin. “Actually, I’m finding my time here very relaxing.”
“That’s news to me,” Gramma muttered with a frown.
“Well, can she?” Cassidy asked again.
“Can she what?” Matt had forgotten the question.
“Can she come to Gramma and Grandpa’s party?”
Matt watched as defiance bloomed in Shelby’s eyes and smiled inwardly. She’d want to come to the picnic now simply because he didn’t want her to. That was the Shelby he remembered.
Kenny spoke up. “Daddy, can Chester come to Gramma and Grandpa’s picnic? He likes to chase the ducks.”
Matt stabbed at his food. “I don’t know. We’ll see.”
“Is this the anniversary picnic?” Shelby looked at Matt and smiled. “I saw your dad yesterday. He invited me.”
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