The only problem was that I didn’t exactly know who Aria the woman was. Aria the champion always had dominated her.
I hurried out of bed, pulled on my clothes, and went into the living room where Erik was making breakfast.
I gasped at the sight of him, wearing nothing but long pajama bottoms which hung low on his waist, giving me a view of his happy trail. His chest was ripped, and his shoulders were broad.
He brushed his dark hair out of his face. “Morning, beautiful.”
“Morning.” I couldn’t believe he thought I was beautiful. My mom’s words filled my head with doubts. I imagined that Erik would date a beach babe with sun-kissed hair and pouty lips.
“You hungry?”
“Sure.” Another first. I’d spent the night with a man, and now he was cooking for me. I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
He handed me a plate filled with sunny side up eggs, thick cut bacon, and toast. He sat next to me with his own plate and poured us both some coffee.
His eyes brightened as he checked me out. “What are you plans today?”
I didn’t dare tell him. My plans had included preparing for BUD/S: an ocean swim, a beach run, and pushups until I collapsed. You know, a typical Sunday.
“Oh, just a long workout. You?”
“Do you ever take a day off?”
I shook my head. “Not even the day after I took gold.”
“You’re more hardcore than I am. But I play hard, too.” He reached across the table and held my hand. “Spend the day with me, babe. We can relax, go biking, or drive up the coast. I can show you some of the cool hidden beach towns.”
Biking, ha. He would laugh at me when he found out I’d never ridden a bicycle. “That sounds fun.” My gut twisted. I liked Erik and didn’t want to deceive him. I had vowed to tell him the truth after we had seen Wonder Woman, but we had been caught up in the moment. But now, there was no excuse. I had to confess my plans and see what he had to say about females being in the Teams. Maybe he would be completely supportive and help me train.
I took a deep breath and eased in. “I read that SEALs are going to let in the first woman soon. What do you think about that?”
He dropped my hand, took a sip of his coffee, and gave me a keen look. “I think it’s the dumbest fucking idea ever.”
Well so much for him being supportive. I knew I should’ve dropped the topic. I had wanted to know his position on the issue, and it was evident he was against it.
Move on, Aria. He’s a great guy with a typical SEAL mindset. Just shut your mouth and— “Really? Why?”
Dammit. The feminist in me couldn’t be quiet.
“Because no woman could pass BUD/S, first of all. The Navy will end up lowering its standards, and good men will die because of it. I’m sick of all this politically correct bullshit. Ideas implemented by legislators who have frankly never served a day in their fucking lives in any branch of the military, let alone special operations.”
Alrighty then. Tell me how you really think. “Okay. But I mean, what if a woman could pass BUD/S, without lowering the standards. Someone like Wonder Woman. I’ve met some athletes who could. I knew this one woman Kendall, a wrestler, who could totally do it. She was so strong and fierce.”
“Wonder Woman is fictional.” He shook his head. “It’s impossible. It’s not just about strength, though that’s a huge part of it. It’s about endurance. No woman can perform the same physical tasks as a man without the standards being lowered. It has never happened and it never will.”
Watch me. “It has never happened because no woman has ever been able to try. And what if a woman could pass? Then you still think she shouldn’t be let in?”
“No. She shouldn’t. It would ruin unit cohesion.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up. “So are you saying that a woman couldn’t pass BUD/S, or are you saying that a woman could pass BUD/S but then still shouldn’t be a SEAL?”
He gave me a hard glare. “I’m saying that we are the most elite special operations force in the world. I’m not talking about women serving in the military. I’m talking about women serving in combat units. In theory, it’s great, and I support women’s rights to do any job. But academics and politicians can’t understand the special operations battlefield. If a woman were captured by the enemy, she would be raped and tortured. If you have a small SEAL unit and the men are competing for the attraction of a female, it will take the focus off the mission.”
I wanted to yell at him, but couldn’t clue him into my vested personal interest in this topic. “That’s ridiculous. I assume you don’t think gay men should be in the SEALs either?”
“Why does everyone compare gender to sexual orientation? You are wrong. I have no problem with gay SEALs. In fact, I have two buddies in the Teams who are gay. But they are on separate Teams and would never have a relationship during a mission.”
“But a woman can’t control herself? Or you guys can’t control yourselves around a woman?”
“It’s biology. I wanted to fuck you the moment I saw you. So did my friend. If you were on my Team, all my buddies would want to fuck you also. It would distract from our mission. Not to mention the spouses of my Teammates wouldn’t be happy to know that a female was serving alongside their husbands on long combat missions. Sometimes we spend months living in the middle of fucking nowhere in a dirt hole.”
I stared at him, disgusted by his answers. Why had I slept with this asshole? I had been wrong. We had nothing in common at all. If all SEALs thought as he did, I was in for a challenge even rougher than I imagined.
He placed his hand on mine, but I retracted from his grasp. “Sorry. I get worked up about this. There isn’t even a woman in the BUD/S pipeline, so we don’t have to worry about this debate for a while.”
Ha. There is too a woman in the pipeline, buddy. You are looking right at her.
I sulked like a child—pushing my food around with my fork on the plate. I couldn’t even look at this guy. I needed to get out of here. Get some clear air before I lost it.
His arm reached out to touch mine across the table. I snapped it away.
“What’s wrong? Are you that upset about my opinion?”
“It’s disappointing. That’s all.”
He stood up and tried to pull me out of my chair but resisted. “Let’s not ruin the day over this. We can agree to disagree.”
No, we can’t. Next January, you will learn the truth. My name will be plastered on the newspapers. As the first female in BUD/S.
I stood up to leave. “Thanks for breakfast. I need to get going and walk my dog.”
He ground his teeth and glared at me. “Fine.”
I grabbed my purse, walked out the door, and pressed the elevator button.
Ever since I’d met him, he had seemed like so much more. He was sweet with his family, had been kind and patient with me, and had seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. So far, there was no indication that he was using me for anything. I felt we had truly connected, on even more than just a physical level. I thought about him every day last week. He had made me feel beautiful and desirable and not a bit like the awkward dork I saw myself as. And I had been charmed by his laid back yet masculine So-Cal surfer boy charm.
But I had known better than to go on a date with Erik. He was nothing but a typical chauvinist pig. He had been nothing but a distraction.
A completely drop dead gorgeous, mind blowing, orgasm-giving distraction.
I refused to allow myself to be sidelined from my dreams by a man.
11
Erik
She slammed the door behind her. Fuck. What the fuck had just happened? Why would she get so pissed off about my opinion on women in combat?
We’d had such a great first date. And last night had been incredible also. I actually liked this girl. I didn’t want this to be a one night stand.
My phone rang. I glanced at the screen. My mom. Great.
“Hey, Ma.”
“Hi, Erik. I was just calling to find out how your date went.”
Most of my Teammates would think I was pathetic for confiding in my mom. But after my father passed away, we’d become very close.
“Not good.”
She let out a sigh. “What happened?”
“It was so stupid. We saw Wonder Woman, and we were having a good time . . .” I paused because I was definitely not going to fill her in on the sordid details, “but then she asked what I thought about women in combat.”
“Oh Erik, you didn’t tell her, did you?”
“Of course I did.”
“You realize she’s an Olympic Gold medalist. An overachiever. I’m sure she believes a woman can do anything a man can do.”
“That’s not the point, Ma. I’m not going to lie about my beliefs just to impress a girl. I don’t think women should be SEALs. If she doesn’t want to see me again because of who I am then that’s that.”
“Oh well, that’s a shame, I think she would’ve been good for you. You know your father and I never agreed about everything. I believe the best partnerships are between two people who complement and challenge each other, not who are clones of each other.”
“Yeah, well she stormed off, so that’s that.”
“I’m sure she’s just disappointed, that’s all. You should reach out to her if you are still interested in her.”
“I’ll think about it.”
We talked a bit more and then said goodbye.
Dammit. My mom was probably right, but it didn’t matter. Aria walked out. Even though we had only had two dates and I barely knew her, I had felt that we’d had the potential to start a relationship. Aria had probably been the wise one when she had turned me down initially for a date. She didn’t live here, was only in town for two more weeks and I was about to deploy for at least six.
Still, there was a knot in my chest that had not been there before.
Get over it, Anderson. Stop being a pussy. It’s done.
I needed to get out of there, clear my head. After taking a quick shower, I got dressed and decided to head up the coast. Instead of staying on Orange Ave., I drove down Ocean Ave., appreciating the view of the multi-million dollar homes. When I turned my head toward the shoreline, I saw Aria, running along the beach with a beagle, just as she had said she was going to.
Damn, what drove her? I wondered if she wanted to defend her title in three years. Despite our difference of opinions and my residual anger toward her for bailing without so much as a backward glance, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we would be perfect for each other. Waking up next to her had felt so right, and I hadn’t once felt the desire to kick her out of my bed like I normally did after sex. Aria shared my passion and drive. Women I’d dated in the past could never understand my dedication to the Teams. I doubted Aria would ever question why I had to train so much.
I would be proud to show her off to my friends. Team guys always had a sort of competition amongst each other on who had the best girlfriend. Aria would win hands down.
And with her by my side, I just know I could make TritonFix a success.
I crossed the Coronado Bridge. Maybe my mom had been right; I had been insensitive. Aria wasn’t a SEAL. She couldn’t possibly understand the pressures of my job and how those stresses would be exacerbated by the additional of women to the Teams. It had been a stupid argument, and I had fallen right into it. There had been no correct way to answer her questions.
I would give her some space, but I refused to let a woman that fantastic walk out of my life without a fight.
12
Aria
I soaked my aching muscles in the bathtub. I was so angry at myself for walking out on Erik yesterday. He had expressed his opinion, and I should’ve been more mature. Instead, I had stormed out like a petulant child who didn’t get her way. What the hell had I expected? Of course, SEALs didn’t think women should join the Teams. I knew this. I’d poured over hundreds of articles written by SEALs debating on whether women should be allowed in combat before I had ever made the decision to try.
These men had never seen a woman graduate from BUD/S. By nature, any man who became a SEAL had to be stubborn and unwilling to give up. It would be hard for these men to accept what they believed was a blow to their culture, their ethos, their way of life. The only way these SEALs would accept change was to have it thrust in their face.
If I had only kept my mouth shut, I could’ve spent more time with Erik. Had a hot summer affair to give me something to remember while I went through training.
But it wasn’t just the sex, though it was by far the best sex of my life. The type of sex I’d only read about in romance novels. Something about Erik brought out another part of me. When I was with him, I wasn’t focused on winning, or becoming a SEAL. I was actually having fun despite myself.
I should call him and apologize. But what was the point? I only had three more weeks left here, and then I would go to Officer Candidate School. Erik and I had no chance. He would never support my dreams. He had made that point loud and clear last night.
Today was going to be super awkward because I had promised to coach Erik’s sister. He had asked me out in front of her and their mom, so I was sure that by now Holly already knew about our disastrous first date. I emerged from the tub, dried off with a towel, and put my swimsuit on under my sweats.
I turned to Flounder. “I’ll take you to the beach when I get back.”
Once in my car, I drove away from Coronado, over the bridge, toward a town called Poway. Thirty minutes later, I was completely shocked about how different this place seemed from coastal Coronado. The beautiful mountains beckoned me, and I was charmed by the rural landscape. I passed a high school and wondered if Erik had attended there.
Damn, why couldn’t I get him out of my head? He’d gotten under my skin without me even realizing it.
I pulled outside of a charming one level ranch house. It seemed private, peaceful and serene, the exact opposite of the tiny apartment I’d grown up in. I scanned the driveway and saw only one car. Was it Erik’s? My heart hammered in my chest. Omg . . . what if he was here? No. It was Monday. He was surely at work. And he probably never wanted to see me again.
I could hardly blame him after the way I’d treated him.
Taking a deep, bolstering breath, I rang the doorbell, and Holly answered the door. She was so pretty—she shared Erik’s dark hair and blue eyes.
“Hi. Thank you for coming. Please come in.”
“My pleasure.” I walked inside and was immediately impressed by their home. Pictures were everywhere. Family portraits, Erik’s little league shots, and a framed snap of him graduating from BUD/S, his handsome father standing beside him.
I’d had two dates with Erik and had slept with him, but there was so much more I didn’t know about him. Was he close to his father? He had only mentioned him once to me—that he had been stationed on submarines.
But it was probably best that we hadn’t shared more intimate conversations since we had no future. I definitely didn’t want to open up to him about my fucked-up family.
Holly followed my gaze. “Oh, these. That was such a happy day. My dad was so proud of him. My father died of a heart attack a few weeks later.”
“Oh no, that’s awful.”
“Yeah. My mom was a mess. Really fell apart. Erik really stepped up and took care of us.”
A lump rose in my throat. I felt like such a bitch. Erik was a great guy, and I had totally thrown away an opportunity to get to know him. Why oh why had I let my temper get the best of me?
She led me outside to their pool which was surrounded by a huge back yard filled with dozens of citrus trees.
Holly and I dove into the pool and did a few laps to warm up. She then showed me her routine, which was impressive. I couldn’t help but think that she needed to move up north if she was serious about synchro.
“Have you thought about moving to Marin to tra
in with the Mermaids?”
“Of course! It would be my dream. I begged my parents when I was twelve, but they refused to split up the family. I’m not going to lie—I resented them. I always wonder how good I could’ve been if I’d lived near the top synchro club.” She sighed. “My coach is great, but it’s not the same. But my father really wanted both Erik and me to be kids, socialize with our friends and not become too focused on our sports. You know, Erik was an amazing swimmer. Could’ve probably swum at a national level. But he chose to follow my dad’s footsteps and attend Annapolis.”
“No. I didn’t know that. Your parents were probably right. I never had any balance in my life. I was consumed by competing.”
“Yeah. . . I was really furious at them for years,” Holly admitted. “I felt like they were holding me back. But once my father died, I was so grateful for spending all that family time with him. Now, I just dream of being on the Stanford team. I’ll be a senior next year, and I just hope I get accepted.”
“Well, I can put you on the radar for the coach. She’s really awesome. She takes most of her team from the Marin Mermaids, the Santa Clara Aquamaids, and the Walnut Creek Aquanuts. But she’s always on the lookout for fresh talent. I’m here for a month if you want to work together.”
Her face lit up. “Oh my god. Really? You are the best. I never thought I’d see you again after today. I mean, well, because—oh I hope you don’t mind, but my brother told my mom that you probably weren’t going to go out on another date.”
Awkward. “No, it’s fine. I’ll totally train you. Your brother is a great man. We had some fun dates. I’m just only going to be here for three more weeks, and then I’ll be away.”
“Oh, I know. Sorry to meddle. I just think you are so cool. Erik’s been single for a while, and he seems to really like you. He deploys so much he’s never around enough to get to know anyone.”
TRITON: A Navy SEAL Romance (Heroes Ever After Book 2) Page 6
