It was so much more than learning to ride a bicycle—it was a new way of life. I imagined living here. Maybe one day I’d settle down, possibly with Erik. Having our kids ride their bikes on the trails and spend their days at the beach.
And in my fantasy, I was happy.
Then why did I feel like the other shoe was about to drop?
Shaking off my worries, I just focused on having fun. Everything would work out the way it was meant to. We bought ice cream cones near the ferry, and I smiled at the children playing in the sand.
Emboldened by my new-found joy, I decided to ask Erik whatever I wanted, without being afraid that I would sound too forward.
“Do you want to have kids?”
“Of course I do. No time soon though. I deploy so much that I want to be around so I can spend time with my family. My dad was so involved.”
I placed my hand on his bicep. “Your sister told me about your father. I’m so sorry. That must’ve been rough.”
He looked up at me, blinking rapidly. “Yeah, it was brutal. He was a great man. My role model. I just miss him.” He turned to me. “What about you? I know nothing about your family.”
I winced. This was my fault; I had walked into this line of questioning. I was still too afraid to tell him I’d joined the Navy, but I vowed to be truthful with the rest of my life.
“Not much to tell. My mom had me when she was really young. She never told my father that she was pregnant. I never met him.”
Erik’s head flinched back slightly. “Does he know you exist?”
“No. He died.”
“I’m sorry. How?”
“I’ve actually never told anyone this. I just usually say he died.” I took a deep breath. Here it went. “But I want to tell you. He joined the military. Actually, he was a SEAL.”
And there it was. My secret. My truth. A fact so painful that I forced myself not to think about it. My father had been a SEAL. He had been killed in a helicopter crash.
And I wanted to be a SEAL. To be closer to him. To make him proud. We shared the same DNA. If he could make it, then why couldn’t I?
Erik’s eyes bugged. “No way. For real? What was his name?”
“Matthew Presley.” Saying his name out loud for the first time in forever made him seem real.
“Wow. I didn’t know you were a Frog Princess. You clearly share his drive. No man can graduate from BUD/S without being dedicated.”
I sighed. “I’d like to think he was. I feel closer to him than ever since I’ve been in Coronado. Like he must’ve been at this shore, maybe shared an ice cream cone here. Meeting you has been such a blessing. I want to believe he was like you.”
He reached out and grasped my fingers. “Baby, if you want, I can look him up. I’m sure I can find someone who served with him. Being a SEAL is like being in the most exclusive fraternity in the world.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.” I swallowed a lump in my throat. “Maybe someday but I’m not ready yet. My mom never talks about him. All I know is that they were high school sweethearts, he enlisted in the Navy, and then she found out she was pregnant. I guess he wrote her, but she never responded. By the time I started asking about him, he was dead. I’ve wanted to reach out to his family, but they don’t even know I exist.”
He pulled me into his arms and rested his forehead against mine. “You should. They’d be so proud of you. I’d be happy to go with you to meet them.”
I felt as if my chest was expanding, taking in his warmth and love. I cupped his face with my hands. “You’re such a great guy, Erik. No matter what happens with us, I want you to know how much you’ve touched me.”
“I want to touch you now. Let’s go, champ. I’ve missed you all week.”
Maybe, he could truly be my happily ever after fairy tale prince.
As we kissed in the sand like two teenagers in love a thought filled my head. I tried to push it away, but it was a gut feeling that permeated my soul.
I was going to marry this guy.
The more I fixated on it, the more I started to believe it. I saw a path for us. He would understand my drive. He would accept me. We could be happy together.
Hell, I deserved to be happy.
And tonight, I was the happiest girl on this island.
21
Erik
After making out in the sand, Aria and I went back to her place. She cooked a Thai eggplant basil stir fry for dinner. It was spicy and sweet, just like her.
“Come here, babe.”
The need built up in me, consuming my mind. To kiss her, to taste her, to fuck her.
My mouth claimed hers, but this wasn’t a sweet, romantic kiss like we had shared on the shore. This kiss was filled with lust and longing. If I had missed her so much after only being away from her for a week, how could I possibly deploy away from her from months?
I wouldn’t, couldn’t, think about that now. All I could think about was how impossibly hard I was and how anxious I was to take her.
I wanted her differently than I had wanted her before. I wanted to fuck her hard and rough. Would she scare when the gentleman officer was replaced by a dirty Navy SEAL?
With one arm, I removed her shirt off and quickly snapped off her bra. She took my lead and unzipped her shorts and pushed down her panties. She grinned as they fell to the floor. Then I lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around me before I slammed her back into the wall.
I parted her legs and slid my finger into her tight pussy.
“I want you so fucking bad, Aria. Every night in San Clemente, I was counting down the seconds until I could fuck you again.”
“Then do it, Erik. Fuck me.”
I dropped my shorts and pressed the tip of my cock to her opening. She gasped as I slowly entered her. She was slick and wet and felt like heaven.
My mouth crushed against hers, furiously kissing her while I fucked her. She bit my lips, and I pinned her wrists to the wall. Harder, faster, deeper. She met my rhythm, and her breath came in spurts.
I released her wrists, and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I cradled her gorgeous ass with my hands, kneading her into me.
I couldn’t stop fucking her. I pounded into her again and again. Dying for her release, for my own.
“Erik! Erik!”
Every time she screamed my name I fucked her harder, deeper. My mouth found her nipples and I sucked until her screams turned into moans. Her pussy clenched around my cock, catching and releasing. I didn’t want to stop—I wanted to fuck her forever. I slammed into her with a final thrust, and she exploded around me as I joined her in pleasure.
I stood still and took a moment to capture this beautiful picture in my memory so I could return to it forever.
When our bodies finally separated, I gave her a kiss. “I’m crazy about you, baby. You know that?”
She nodded, and I swore I saw a sheen of tears in her eyes. “I feel the same.”
Life was good.
But I needed to ask her something.
I took one more long glance at her naked body, and I finally forced myself to step away from Aria. Our sexual chemistry was off the charts. Definitely enough sparks and memories to get through the long nights I would have without her when I deployed.
I gave her another long, lingering kiss and then went into her bedroom to change into my pajama bottoms. She followed quickly after me and threw on panties and a tank top, and we both prepared for bed.
I’d never lived with a girl, and I wondered what it would be like to come home to Aria, build a life with her.
She climbed under the covers, and I joined her.
Nibbling her bottom lip, she stared over at me. “What are you thinking about? You have a pensive look on your face.”
I took a deep breath. I felt closer to her than ever. Now was my chance to truly open up to her. Tell her not only what I was feeling, but about my business, too.
I pulled her onto my chest and stroked her hair. “Lots of stuff. I never t
old you about my startup, did I? TritonFix?”
Her eyes widened. “No. I didn’t know you could have a company while in the Teams.”
“You can actually, you just have to get approval from your command. They make sure you aren’t giving away top-secret information or disparaging the Teams. Hell, this one guy, a great SEAL, was recently caught making porn with his wife and some other women. He’s probably going to lose his retirement.”
“Wow. That’s crazy. So, what’s your business?”
“I provide consulting to businesses. Basically, I teach entrepreneurs how to apply military leadership within their companies. We conduct team building activities, go over different methods to build support structures in their office, and teach effective communication strategies. Honestly, I love it.”
She turned to face me. “That’s awesome, babe! You’re so ambitious . . . which I think is super sexy by the way. I can see why they would hire you. You were so great with me out on the “O” course. More encouraging than my own coaches.”
Her words invigorated me. Now was the time to ask her to meet my client. “Thanks, sweetheart. That means a lot to me. You know, I think it’s the type of business you would be great in. Clients would love to work with a Stanford grad Olympian. If you aren’t busy next Friday, I’m taking a potential client to dinner. Would you like to join me?”
The second those words left my mouth, I wished I could retract them. In an instant, the expression on her face went from adoring to a suspicious.
Her voice lowered to almost a whisper. “Why? Why do you want me there?”
“Because I’m proud to be dating you. Because you are beautiful. Because we are a couple.”
“We aren’t a couple.” She rolled away from me and pulled the covers over her chest. “This is why you asked me out, right? You wanted to use me.”
“What? No. Of course not. I was attracted to you and impressed by your accomplishments.” Yes, I had initially pursued her with that intention, but I genuinely liked her. I wanted a future with her for fuck’s sake.
“Sure you were. This isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve been used before.”
“I’m not using you, Aria.” Fuck. Why was she reacting like this? Was it that wrong to want her to go with me to meet a new client?
A few minutes of awkward silence passed, so I nudged her. “Hey, I’m sorry I asked you. I didn’t think it would be a big deal. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
“I’m just tired. Good night, Erik.”
She didn’t even turn around to give me a good night kiss. I decided to let it go and try to get some sleep, but I was becoming increasingly frustrated with her moods. What was she holding back from me? She was blowing hot and cold, and it was driving me insane.
But I refused to give up. I couldn’t shake the feeling that Aria was the one for me, even if she didn’t see me as her man.
22
Aria
I waited for Erik to fall asleep. After around ten minutes, I turned over in the bed and saw his chest rise and fall.
As quietly as possible, I extracted myself from the bed. I grabbed some clean clothes from the top of my hamper and snuck out of the bedroom into the living room.
I laced up my running shoes and leashed up Flounder. It didn’t matter that it was midnight—I needed to get the hell out of here. I didn’t care if Erik woke up while I was gone. He was a smart man—he could figure out why I was livid. Maybe he’d come looking for me. Better yet, maybe he would leave.
The cool ocean night air hit my face when I left my place. I grabbed Flounder’s leash and ran on the beach toward the SEAL base. Despite Flounder’s old age, he could still keep up with me, and I loved watching his long hound ears flap in the moonlight.
Flounder. What was I going to do about Flounder?
My mom had already told me that she wouldn’t watch him when I went to Officer Candidate School. “Take him to the pound,” she had said. “He’s had a good life.”
Fuck her. Flounder was the only one in my life who had always been loyal to me.
That was more evident today to me than ever.
I had one friend from back home who had offered to take him while I was gone, but she didn’t really like dogs, and I felt she had offered more out of guilt because my mom had threatened to dump him at the shelter than out of a desire to love my dog.
Erik was great with my dog. And before tonight, I had considered asking him, especially since I had planned to tell him the truth about my plans.
But after what he had just asked me to do, all plans were off.
I continued to run down the beach past the lights of the Del. But brighter beams beckoned me just beyond the hotel.
Glow lights. Oh my god! It was hell week! It was Sunday night. Hell Week always started on Sunday. This had to be a sign!
I ran to the edge of the base where I was still on civilian land and stood there gawking in awe. There were around twenty-five men in front of me, carrying swift boats over their heads as their instructors yelled at them.
In six months, I would be one of them.
My heart chilled, and it wasn’t from the lack of sunlight. I had to process what had just happened with Erik.
TritonFix.
My mom had been right. He had been using me. No matter what he had said, I didn’t believe him. From day one, he knew who I was; he had targeted me. I knew a man as hot as he was could never be interested in me. I was an asset. Great on paper. “Hey guys, my girlfriend is an Olympic Gold Medalist. Let me tell you about my business and how I can help you achieve my goals. That will be ten thousand dollars.”
Damn him. I refused to let him use me. My heart was crushed—how stupid I was for possibly believing he didn’t have an ulterior motive for dating me. I shut my emotions down. I would kick him out of my place the second I returned tonight.
My eyes returned to the men in the water, their oars battling through the surf as their boats flipped over. Their sadistic instructors laughed at them as these poor candidates clung to their dreams.
A few instructors glanced my way. I didn’t know if they had seen me with Erik, but none of them dared to approach me. Which was fine by me—at least they weren’t shooing me away.
One of the boats came into shore. The men dropped into the sand and rolled around, getting wet and sandy.
And then I saw it. One man ran to his instructor. The instructor led him over to the bell, and he rang it three times.
A lump grew in my throat. That man had just quit. All his hard work washed away like an abandoned sand castle.
The rest of the men were now all out of the water. The instructors lined them up and ran them toward the back of the base.
Toward the “O” course.
I grabbed Flounder’s leash and ran up the beach, past the Del, in front of Erik’s condo building and toward the other side of the base. Though I had no ID card, I could see the “O” course from the road that ran along the Silver Strand Boulevard. When I finally arrived, I peered through the wires on the fence as cars whizzed by, making sure I had a tight grip on Flounder’s lead.
Sure enough, I had been right. Men were attacking the course. I waited for a few minutes, staring at Dirty Name. One by one, the men slayed it.
Until one man, a tall, skinny guy with black hair, fell. He picked himself up and tried again. And again. And again.
After a few more tries, an instructor walked over to him. The instructor placed his arm around the man’s shoulders and walked him off the course.
And over to the bell.
That man was out.
My heart dropped. That man hadn’t wanted to quit. I just knew it. He couldn’t master one obstacle, a required obstacle during hell week. So he had been forced to ring the bell.
I didn’t want to watch anymore.
I grabbed Flounder’s leash and ran back toward my place.
What if I couldn’t master Dirty Name? I needed every advantage I could get.
I had a
ctually liked Erik. Up until tonight, I honestly thought we could have a future together if he accepted my career path. Initially, I had been so against dating him because I didn’t want it to appear like I was using him.
But now, that had all changed.
He had charmed me with dinner and a girl power movie. I had slept with him. He had given me the opportunity to try Dirty Name. He had forced me to overcome my fear of riding a bike. I had fallen for him.
I had to turn off my feelings for him. Stop aching for him, making him my first thought in the morning and my last thought of the night. No more dreaming of a future together.
My worst fear had been realized. He liked me for what I had accomplished, not who I was.
I would never be good enough for a man like him.
I choked back a sob, realizing that he had been using me.
Well, two could play that game.
If he was going to use me, then I was going to use him.
I had one week left in San Diego. I’d go to dinner with his client. I’d pump Erik for information about BUD/S. And then I would demand to try the “O” course again.
After that. I was done with men. If I wanted to have sex, I’d have sex.
But I would never, ever listen to my heart again.
23
Erik
The next morning, I had to leave early for work. I was surprised that when I woke up, Aria was already up. Her eyes were heavy, and her skin seemed puffy as if she had been up all night.
“Morning. I made you breakfast.”
I stared at the plate she handed me. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.
“Thanks. You didn’t have to do this. But I appreciate it.”
I sat at the table and ate as she stared at me, nursing a mug of coffee.
TRITON: A Navy SEAL Romance (Heroes Ever After Book 2) Page 10
