Rheda shrugged her shoulders. “I doubt it. The ring is mostly run by the women in the village. I admit Jamieson and Meg’s brother Davidson helped me in the beginning. They set up the contacts. But it is the women who decide what contraband we buy and what gets sold back to the French. We were very clear, no coin was to exchange hands—because we didn’t have any to start with. We had to trade.”
The men looked even grimmer, if that was at all possible. Rufus would barely look at her. Her stomach churned. She wanted to beg him to understand, but with Stephen in the room she kept up the polite charade as if Rufus and she, only an hour earlier, hadn’t shared the most intimate act two humans can share. With a sickening lurch the truth hit her. Perhaps what they shared meant nothing to him. Why would it? He’d bedded countless women. Seduced to get what he wanted. She breathed in, trying to suck her pride back up off the floor.
Rufus slammed a quill and paper in front of her. “I want the names of everyone who ‘trades’ through your outfit.”
She eyed him suspiciously. “You won’t arrest them or hurt them? The women have children, families. Who would look after them? I know it is not one of my gang.”
Rufus’s face became a mask of anger. “You think a woman cannot betray?” He lifted his shirt; her pulse hammered not out of fear, his polished skin beckoned for her to touch. “I know exactly what women are capable of. I told you a woman did this to me. On a previous mission, a lover betrayed me, killed my friend, and damn well near killed me.” His voice shook fury. “In my profession trust is a commodity that can see you dead. A sweet smile, a luscious body, a beautiful face no longer works on me. I’ll not be fooled again. I trust no one—it’s safer that way.”
She saw the truth of it in his eyes, and her heart cracked. She could never be more than a bedmate to this man. He would never trust her. Not now.
She swallowed, understanding a man with his past would not listen to reason. The women of Deal would never be traitors. They simply wished to survive and feed and clothe their children. “You haven’t answered my question. Will they be harmed?”
“Not if they are innocent of treason.”
Somewhat pacified Rheda added, “I’m not sure what my list will tell you. They are all locals who have lived their whole lives in Deal. There is not a Frenchman among them.”
Stephen said coldly, “One of the locals is our spy. It can be no one else.”
Stephen gave her a suspicious look. “If Rheda is Dark Shadow and yet she really knows nothing about the spy, we have a bigger problem. How is he slipping the messages through the smuggling ring?”
Both men turned steely gazes her way. They doubted her innocence. She flushed with a mixture of fear and anger. “I am not a spy. All I wanted to do was get enough money to save Tumsbury Cliff and build my own horse stud.”
Rufus studied her face. She could see him weighing up her guilt or innocence. She had no idea how she could persuade him of her blamelessness. When he was in this mood, a cold, calculating aristocrat, she knew better than to appeal to his emotions. He had them too under control.
“I want a list of everybody involved in your operation—buyers and sellers,” growled Rufus, turning away from her.
It took her almost half an hour to write. The list was fairly extensive. It included most of the wealthy families of Deal and the surrounding area, as well as those among the lower ranks. During this time Stephen and Rufus talked quietly over by the window. “I’ve finished.”
Stephen crossed the room and took the paper from her hand.
Rufus chastised her. “Your silly games have cost us precious time. I pray we catch the spy before the latest intelligence is in Napoleon’s hands.”
Rheda felt her back stiffen. “If you’d tried talking to me like a human being instead of trying to lord it over me or seduce me at every turn, this could have been sorted out much sooner.”
“She’s got you there, old boy.”
“I don’t trust anyone.” Rufus’s face flamed with color, and he steadily approached until he was towering over her. “Stephen, I need a private word with Miss Kerrich.” His tone indicated his friend had better not refuse.
At Rheda’s panicked face Stephen chortled. “I shall not go far. Scream if you need me.”
“I won’t need any help, thank you,” she softly replied.
Stephen’s mouth twitched. “I was speaking to Rufus.” His mouth broke into a huge grin as he closed the door behind him.
With shaky breath Rufus withdrew to the hearth. “You have some explaining to do.”
“How so? I have told you all I know.”
Was she telling the truth? He clenched his teeth, disgruntled and frustrated at the predicament he was in. And he was furious with himself. He’d vowed he would keep away from the baron’s sister until he knew categorically she was not an innocent. He’d let his cock override his innate good sense. “You let me ravish you without telling me the truth. Why? Now that your smuggling operation has been discovered, it will come to an end. Did you hope my honor would elicit an offer of marriage in order to replace the business you have lost? Did you hope to gain a silk purse?”
Rheda stared speechlessly at him. “I have never wished to marry,” she replied coldly.
“You kept your virginity a guarded secret. Letting me think the scandal with Prince Hammed was true.”
“I believe I indicated when we first became acquainted that there was no scandal.”
“You never denied the allegation,” he stated flatly. “You knew I was trying to seduce you. Why didn’t you tell me the truth? Your behavior during the night was not exactly what one would call circumspect. In fact, I’d say you deliberately led me to believe you were other than an innocent miss.” He turned away, unwilling to face the unsettling knife cut of hurt her using him had slashed deep into his chest.
It wasn’t simply his pride that was battered. His heart felt like it had been attacked with a club. She’d played him. She’d let him think she was a fallen woman. His honor was her backup plan. Now she had him trapped by his need to avoid bringing further shame on the Strathmore name. He could not father an illegitimate child.
He moved toward her, his shadow slipping over her. She looked more delicate than he remembered, and her bottom lip trembled. “I want the truth. Why the devil did you let me compromise you?”
What could she say—because the mere sight of you sets my insides on fire? That I burn for your touch until I ache? That even now all I can picture in my head is your powerful physique, all rippling muscles and chiseled strength? That the thought of your sensuous mouth on me makes me wet between my thighs ... ?
Rheda kept her lips tightly closed least they spill her most intimate secrets.
“Tell me,” he demanded. He swung around to face her. “Tonight, did you or did you not purposely set the tub scene to distract me? Did you use your body to entice me into bedding you, knowing I’d ruin you?”
She could not hold his icy gaze. In a way she had used him. “Not exactly.”
“Then, what exactly?”
Her cheeks flooded with crimson. She took a deep breath. “Yes, I wanted to distract your search, but I had not planned to be compromised. I thought your honor would prevent things going so far ...”
Rufus’s jaw tightened till the muscles stood out in rigid relief. “What did you expect me to do when you rose from the tub like a water nymph? I may be a gentleman, but I am not a saint.” He walked and poured himself another drink.
Rheda shivered. The brandy seemed to have done little to improve his mood. “I did not anticipate you making me get out of the bath.”
“Well, your plan backfired. Unlike Prince Hammed, who obviously gave you the horses before you had to sacrifice your virginity, I was stupid enough to succumb to your abundant charms.” His mouth thinned. “We will discuss the situation we find ourselves in once I have completed my mission.” Rufus took a deep breath. “It would seem I have no course open to me but to offer you marriage—”
“Marriage!” Rheda jumped to her feet and cried. “Don’t be ridiculous. There is absolutely no need for that—”
His mouth twisted bitterly. “What if you are with child?”
Rheda felt trickles of perspiration run down between her shoulder blades. “Then I will raise him or her on my own like many women are left to do.”
He moved quickly and gripped both her arms in a vicelike grip. “I will not have a child of mine born a bastard. There has been enough scandal in my family. I will not tolerate more.”
Rheda stared down at his hands until he released her, but he did not step back. She felt his virility humming around him, and despite herself couldn’t help the flare of response simmering in her belly.
“I suggest we wait and see if I am with child before we rush into matrimony. You certainly do not wish to marry a woman like me, and I have no wish to tie myself to a man who will forever despise me.”
Rufus stepped even closer. His chest brushed against her breasts, and she clenched her fists at the immediate response of her nipples puckering under her dress.
“I assure you, marriage to a woman of your ilk was not my plan. I have been striving to restore the Strathmore good name for over ten years, and I am not about to undo all that work for your convenience,” he softly uttered, a hint of bitterness edging his tone. “You will become my wife, and you will deport yourself as a married lady of nobility should. Do I make myself clear?”
“What, pray, does that mean exactly? What of my horse stud?”
Rufus threw his head back and laughed. “I did not realize that respectable ladies bred horses. They leave that to their husbands.” His smile vanished as quickly as a rabbit down a rabbit hole. “There will be no horse stud, no smuggling, nor any other illicit activities of any kind. You will at all times honor the Strathmore name. Your home will be my country estate near Cambridge, where you will reside with my mother. You will be my viscountess, and I demand you behave like one.”
He never raised his voice, yet his words seemed more unequivocal than if he’d shouted at her. His tone was dark, while something hard and unforgiving in his eyes seeped like ice into her soul. He sounded like he hated her. Really hated her.
She swallowed back threatening tears. She would not let him know how much his words hurt her. Knowing how he felt about her, she could never marry him. But he was right. Her behavior was scandalous and once known would tarnish his reputation. She did not care about her own. However, Daniel would also suffer. She couldn’t allow that to happen.
“I believe you have made it very clear what your orders are, my lord. If you don’t mind, I think I shall retire. It has been a very long night.”
“I have placed guards outside your room—”
“To keep you out or me in?”
He ignored her inflaming comment. “Later today, you will summon Daniel for questioning. Only then will we formally announce our engagement.” He drained his glass, then turned away to refill it.
He dismissed her as if she were a servant. It was the humiliation, as much as the coldness in his eyes, that cut her to the quick. Yet she blinked back the sudden tears that blurred her vision and lifted her chin, vowing that she would do what she should have done eight years ago.
She needed to slip free of her captors and find Lord Hale.
Chapter 19
Rheda sat quietly in her room waiting for the right moment to escape. It came shortly after the guards at her door removed her breakfast tray.
“If you don’t mind I shall take a nap. I have been up all night. Please tell his lordship not to disturb me until I have had a few hours sleep.” She hesitated. “Not unless he wants a swooning female on his hands.”
All the guard did was nod and close the door firmly in her face.
Rheda quickly drew the drapes and arranged the pillows as if someone were sleeping in the bed. The room was dim enough that anyone looking in to check on her would believe she was abed. She glanced at the clock on the mantel. She would have probably no more than three hours at the most to get to Hastingleigh and back.
A sharp pain sliced through her stomach. If her plan worked she wouldn’t have to come back. She wouldn’t have to see Rufus again. That’s where the pain came from. She couldn’t fool herself. Even now she wanted very much to see him. To beg his forgiveness and to explain that she had not used him.
The appeal of allowing herself to grab his offer of matrimony drove her. It would be all too easy to agree. To picture herself living as his wife, sleeping in his bed, bearing his children. Yet, it would be her mother’s situation all over again. A woman in love with her husband. A husband who had not an ounce of love for his wife. Rufus’s likely infidelities would destroy her.
She knew she would never survive in a one-sided relationship. She could not allow herself to be forced into one now.
The pain of their shared pleasure ripped through her chest until it felt hollow. She recalled every imprint of the lean, hard length of him. She wanted to be naked and wrapped in his arms again. But once she’d spoken to Christopher that could never happen. She did not know how she would get the taste and feel of Rufus out of her mind. It would be unfair to bring him to her marriage bed. Christopher deserved better.
With a sigh she crossed the room and found the hidden latch to the secret panel. Almost every room in the house had secret doors down to the tunnels and caverns beneath Tumsbury Cliff Manor. Remnants from when her great-grandfather had been a smuggler. One of the other reasons she’d seen no harm in indulging in free trade. If it was good enough for her ancestors, it was good enough for her.
Instead of following the tunnels to the caves down by the cliffs, she turned right and headed to the entrance that emerged about half a mile behind the stable block, pointing directly inland to Hastingleigh.
The day was humid with fluffy clouds filling the sky, the miscellany of the storm that had blown through last night. She was pleased she’d slipped on her cotton dress. She could feel the warm breeze on her back where her dress still remained unhooked. She smoothed her skirt and hoped she looked more acceptable than she felt.
She kept to the tree line, just in case any of Rufus’s men spotted her. They were still out hunting Daniel. Would he disown her when he heard of her disgraceful conduct? She wanted to explain, to beg his forgiveness.
She pushed the coming scene with Daniel out of her mind and focused on her proposition. Would Christopher still want her? She could marry Christopher because it didn’t matter that he didn’t love her. She didn’t love him. It was the thought of marrying a man she loved, but who would never return her love, that frightened more. Love gave a person the power to hurt.
She hoped her appearance wouldn’t put him off. Telling Christopher she was no longer innocent already had her stomach churning. But she would swear to him that she would be faithful and never look at another man. Or at least one man in particular—Rufus—ever again.
That would be her worst punishment for her selfishness. She would never again know the joy of Rufus’s touch, his kisses, or the feel of his muscled strength against her bare skin. She would never see his eyes darken with desire when he looked at her, and she would never feel her body warm and soften when he delivered one of his sensual smiles that melted her from the inside.
Tears blurred her vision and she stumbled over a tree root, falling to her knees. A cry of anguish escaped before she could stop it. She didn’t know what hurt more, her grazed knee or her heart.
“I say, Rheda. Are you all right?”
Christopher. The concern on his dear face made her sob even louder. He didn’t deserve to have her foisted on him. She shouldn’t have come. Her idea was even less noble than enticing Rufus into dishonor.
She sank to the ground. “Oh, Christopher. I’ve made such a mess of things,” she sobbed.
He crouched down on his haunches and gently wiped the tears off her face. “I am sure you’ve done no such thing, my angel—”
“But I
have,” she wailed.
“What has upset you, Rhe? I was on my way to see you.”
“I’m not all right. I’ve been so selfish. Thinking I could do it all on my own. I should have accepted your proposal long ago, but my fear wouldn’t let me.”
He pulled her into his arms, and she felt the softness of his plump body. Instantly, she compared it to Rufus’s hard, lean frame and found it wanting. He took off his gloves, something he rarely did due to the large red birthmark on his hand. A mark he preferred to keep hidden.
He gently stroked her cheek with his gloveless fingers. It did not even kindle one tingle of awareness that a simple touch from Rufus ignited. She pulled away in disappointment and shame.
“You know you never have to fear me. I’d never hurt you.”
Rheda nodded. “I don’t fear you.”
He cupped her cheek. “Then why did you decline my proposals? Am I that repulsive?”
She lowered her head. “No. It’s just I didn’t love you.” She rushed on, “I do love you, but more like the love I feel for Daniel. Like a brother. I didn’t think that was fair to you.”
He gave a barked laugh. “Look at me, Rheda. I know I am not a prime catch, but I would have cherished you for the rest of your days. I still will if you’ll let me.”
The strength seemed to drain out of her at his words. She sagged against him and thought how easy it would be to let him take care of her. She whispered, “It’s too late now. I’m ruined.”
Christopher didn’t say a word, but she felt him stiffen at her words. “Do you still keep a journal?”
She nodded.
“I do, too. Do you know what I believe?” He did not wait for her answer. “I believe that my journal is a private confession between me and God. He sees everything I have done, and by writing the words, by letting him see my sin, he washes me clean. God is merciful and forgives everything. If you are truly repentant He forgives you. Just as I always will forgive you.”
“What if I have done such wrong he—and you—can never forgive me?”
Invitation to Scandal Page 22
