by Kit Kyndall
Having the door open, and freedom so tantalizingly close, was enough to make her kick the bar nearest her, which sent a dart of pain up her toe. Her eyes stung from the pain, but she ignored it as she struggled to escape the handcuffs.
She remembered reading where someone had broken their thumb to slip through a pair of handcuffs, but she couldn’t bring herself to do that. Chewing off her own appendage wasn’t an option either, but she suddenly considered it as a viable one when she saw Marconi approaching.
He was on a collision course with her, and she was surprised he bothered to undo the handcuffs in her cage and jerk her out rather than just shoot her and be done with it.
“I know you’re responsible for this. I don’t know how, but you’re behind it. You’ve ruined everything.”
Tears came to her eyes from the tight hold he had on her hair, deliberately tugging at her scalp, but she blinked them back. “I think you might have brought it on yourself by selling people and killing witnesses.”
He backhanded her. “I want you to suffer for what you’ve done.”
“Being this close to you is making me suffer a lot. I’d say I’ve suffered enough.” She braced herself for another blow, hoping to distract him from the realization he could take the gun from his pocket and be done with her by shooting her. Keeping him off balance might buy her some time.
Or it might push him completely over the edge. His hands wrapped around her throat, and his grasp was hard and punishing. It was clear he intended to kill her despite having expressed the wish to make her suffer first.
It was difficult to think with her rapidly dwindling oxygen supply being critically low, and she reached out, struggling to push against his bulk. Her eyes widened when her fingers brushed a bulge in his pocket. Thankfully, it wasn’t his penis. The shape suggested he had some kind of knife in there. She couldn’t get to the gun from the way he was holding her, and her options were rapidly running out as quickly as her air supply.
It was distasteful to put her hand in his pocket, but she didn’t let herself be distracted by the possibility of touching him intimately. She clawed the knife from his clothing, and he was so focused on ending her life that he didn’t seem to notice.
There were dark spots before her eyes, and she was finding it incredibly difficult to think at all. She held the knife for a moment in her semi-slack hand, trying to piece together what she should do with it. Finally, her thumb accidentally brushed against the button that released it, and the knife blade popped out with a snick sound that she could hear even over the voices around her and the roaring in her ears.
He must have heard it too, because he suddenly stopped squeezing and thrust her away from him. He wasn’t fast enough though, and as the ability to breathe returned, she thrust the knife as hard as she could into his stomach, pulling upward in a sawing fashion until it got stuck, probably lodged in bone.
With a roar, he brought up his gun, aiming between her eyes as his other hand went to his stomach to cradle the wound she had made.
She stared down the barrel of the gun, bracing herself for the fire. She was in the process of ducking, but her reflexes were slowed from fear and lack of oxygen.
She jerked when the gun fired, and it took a moment to realize it wasn’t his. The realization dawned on her as Marconi fell to the floor, still holding the gun. She looked around, eyes widening when she saw Justin staggering toward her. He held a gun in his hand, though it was limply at his side.
She rushed forward to him, at least as fast as her own physical state would allow, reaching Justin as he collapsed forward onto his knees. They fell together, holding each other up as they crouched on the cold cement floor.
She ran her hands over him, wincing when she found blood on his back. He flinched at the light touch, and she quickly withdrew her hand. “What happened?”
“Someone shot me. I think I’ll be okay though. How about you?”
She put an arm around him, careful to avoid the wounded section. Being back in his arms infused her voice with confidence when she said, “I think I’ll be okay too.”
14
Finally, the FBI authorized them to leave the scene after multiple retellings of events to different agents. Julia was exhausted, and she was certain Justin was too. He’d received medical treatment at the scene, but had refused to go to the hospital. The EMT had reluctantly conceded, since the shot had gone straight through.
Olivia drove them back to the safe house, and Julia spared it a cursory look before stumbling away from Justin to move toward Andre. With tears in her eyes, she embraced the agent, careful of his injured shoulder. “I thought you were dead.”
“Almost, but not quite. I shot Franks.” He grinned at her as he pulled away. “He didn’t die, but he’s in a heap of trouble. I figured you’d appreciate that.”
Her lips moved upward in a feeble grin. She definitely appreciated it, but she was too tired to show much enthusiasm. “Thank you for everything, Andre. For saving me, and for sending me to Justin.”
He nodded at her before turning to his friend. “You okay?”
Justin looked down at his wound, as though unconsciously. “I’ll be fine. Through and through.”
“But he needs to rest,” said Julia firmly.
Olivia gestured down the hallway. “You two can have the bedroom.”
“What about you?” asked Justin.
“I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“And I’m heading home,” said Andre. “I was waiting to make sure you got back safely. I got to see some of the happenings before the satellite moved out of position, and Olivia texted me an update a couple of times, but I still had to see for myself. Now, I’m going to find my bed and enjoy an uninterrupted stretch of sleep. You do the same.”
“We will.” Julia put her arm around Justin’s waist to lead him down the hallway. The bedroom was easy to find, and she closed the door behind them. There was no reason to lock it.
Together, they shuffled to the bed. Undressing took the last of her energy, and she didn’t bother trying to find anything to wear. Neither did Justin, and they curled up together, skin to skin. She enjoyed his touch, but was too exhausted to summon more than a ghost of desire. Pressing a kiss to his lips, she snuggled as close as she could with his bandaged wound, closed her eyes, and immediately went to sleep.
It was several hours later when she woke. Julia stretched carefully, and Justin groaned. She stilled immediately. “Did I hurt you?”
“Uh uh.” He groaned again as he thrust his hips lightly, making the source of his discomfort obvious when his cock pressed into her hip.
“Oh.” She bit her lip, looking at his complexion. He was paler than usual, but not pasty. He’d lost some blood, but not enough to warrant a transfusion, or even much of a pushback on his refusal to go to the hospital. “How do you feel?”
“Okay.” He thrust against her again. “Really okay, love.”
She still hesitated. “Are you up for it?”
Justin slowly pressed his full length against her, rubbing lightly. “Can’t you tell for yourself?”
She laughed. “Yeah, but I meant physically—oh, you know what I mean,” she added when he chuckled.
“I’m up to anything as long as it involves you.” He emphasized his words by bringing up a hand to cradle her chin. His lips molded to hers a moment later, and they shared a hungry kiss.
At first, she remembered to be gentle with him, trying to keep his passion slow and steady. He seemed equally determined to override her caution, and his mouth went from coaxing to demanding. His hands roamed freely over her body, and she soon forgot about being careful with him.
He seemed fine with that, as evidenced by the way he pushed her onto her back and sprawled atop her. His mouth moved from her lips to drift down her body. He paused to veer off course, taking a plump pink nipple between his lips. Her breathless moans seemed to excite him, and he increased the suction of his lips, spending precious minutes worshipping one nipple w
ith his mouth while teasing and tantalizing the other with his hand.
Julia was slick with need and thrusting her hips impatiently. The emptiness inside needed filling to find satisfaction, and she wriggled upwards, trying to evade his mouth to force him to relieve the ache between her thighs.
He must have gotten the message, but chose a different route to pleasure. She wanted him to sink inside her, but his mouth moved to her pussy instead. Julia almost protested, until his tongue started stroking her folds. First, he was light, almost tentative, with his caresses, but soon increased his pace and intensity. His tongue slipped into her slit to taste her clit, and her lower body arched off the bed.
“Please, Justin. I need you.” She reached almost blindly for a handful of his hair, needing to anchor herself as he took most of her interior into this mouth, sucking and licking like a starving man at a feast. She still wanted his cock, but was soon lost in the pleasurable onslaught of his mouth.
He quickly brought her to orgasm, and she managed to push his head away as she crested. “Your cock.” Those were all the words she could form, caught up in the storm of bliss sweeping over her.
With a chuckle, Justin moved higher up her body, his thighs between hers as he parted her legs. She was ready and eager for him when the head of his cock pushed into her slick channel. Julia wrapped her thighs around his hips and thrust upward to meet him.
It was quickly obvious that he was willing to keep going, but it was costing him. His mouth was tight, and he seemed paler.
She frowned as she eyed his bandage, ensuring it wasn’t soaked-through with blood. He seemed okay, but was in pain. “We need to stop.”
“No,” he said through gritted teeth.
She glared at him. “We’ll have plenty of time for pleasure later, but you need to rest.”
“No,” he said again, surging deeply inside her as he grasped her hips and flipped them over. When he stopped moving, he was on his back, and she straddled him. “I can manage this, if you want to do the work?”
Perhaps she should have insisted on stopping, but he seemed so determined—and was so hard inside her that he definitely needed release. Julia moved tenderly, taking her time as she rode his shaft. He thrust against her insistently, and she stopped moving. “You want me to do the work, so let me set the pace.”
“This slow torture will be the end of me, not the wound in my back and chest.” He muttered the complaint through clenched teeth, but didn’t try to speed her along again.
Soon enough, her own instincts urged her to move faster, and she surrendered. Julia took Justin over the edge, reveling in the way he spasmed inside her as he filled her with cum. It triggered her own release, and she went flying too. Throughout their orgasms, their hands remained firmly closed around each other, and their gazes were locked.
After their ecstasy waned, she collapsed beside him, keeping her arm around his waist as they turned toward each other. She snuggled close to him, lightly running a hand down his leg. “Will you tell me what happened to your leg?”
He sighed, and his pleasure evaporated. His expression took on a new tension, and he seemed poised to refuse, so it was a surprise when he said, “It was an improvised explosive device.”
“An IED?”
He nodded. “Our squad was at base during some down time. There were two kids who stayed on the base most of the time. They were orphans, but there was no one to take them in. No authorities with the resources either, so they just stayed at the base. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but it was better for Amina and Musaad to stay with us than to be scavenging on the streets and prey to others.”
She rubbed his shoulder as his tension grew. “You were close to them?”
He nodded. “We all were. Amina was nine, and her little brother was seven. She was serious and responsible, while he was charming and mischievous. But there were times when Amina could be playful, when her worries faded away. I loved both kids, but she was my favorite—especially in those moments when I could coax a smile.” There was tenderness in his voice, but the raw pain threatened to obliterate it.
“What happened?”
“The kids were tricked into delivering a package to the base. There was an IED inside, and it killed everyone with ten yards—seven of my squad, plus Amina and Musaad.” He closed his eyes for a moment, and a tear trickled down his cheek. “Olivia shouted a warning, and Andre dragged me free from the blast range at the last moment, keeping me from dying, but I was still injured by flying shrapnel. We had realized what was going on, you see, and we’d all rushed forward to try to get the package from them, or get the kids to safety. We all failed.”
She laid her head gently on his chest, careful of his bandage. “I’m so sorry you went through that, and lost the kids and your squad.”
He didn’t respond, but some of his tension faded. He seemed to soak up the comfort she provided until his muscles finally relaxed again. “The panic attacks started soon after. For a time, I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing the whole thing happening again. It messed with my head, and they discharged me. The leg would have healed well enough to stay in, but not the head.”
“I can’t imagine anyone survives something like that unscathed. I’ll bet Olivia and Andre are both tormented by it too.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I know, but they seemed to be able to move on. I just felt like I had no right to. I couldn’t protect the kids I loved, or my squad, and I should have been dead with them. I was guilty that I hadn’t died, and I was pissed at the world. I found solace in numbness by disconnecting my emotions. Fighting and drinking were my only respites from that numbness for a short time, but even that stopped working. It was good that Sheriff Finch told the bar to stop serving me, but I’d like to think I would have stopped going on my own, since it was no longer providing pain relief.”
“And now?”
He met her gaze, his open and sincere. “I’m always going to struggle with this, but when it counted, and I had to push through, I was able to by focusing on you. Caring about you isn’t a magical panacea, but it helps. If you’re beside me, I think I can conquer this thing.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “Is that something you want?”
He arched a brow. “What do you mean?”
“Do you want me beside you? Like long-term?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Of course I do. I haven’t felt this way about anyone before. I’m halfway to falling madly in love with you, Julia.” He bit his lip, his anxiety evident. “How do you feel about me?”
“I feel the same…maybe more than halfway.” She shifted her head upward to press a kiss to his neck. “I want to be with you.”
His body relaxed completely. “Where?”
“Where what?”
“Where should we live? I don’t like the city, but if you need to be here, I can handle it.” He sounded completely confident.
She smiled. “I have no real ties to New York City.”
“What about your career?”
Julia laughed. “My career consisted of pouring drinks in a strip bar. I graduated from college with a degree in business administration, but couldn’t find a job in my field. I only got the bartending job there because I’d tended bar during college—and I had to leave off my degree to get it. I’m sure I can find more fulfilling work in Montana.”
He let out a long sigh. “Thank goodness. The idea of living in this city makes me anxious, but I’d do it for you.”
“And I appreciate that, but it’s unnecessary.” She shifted slightly to press a kiss to his lips. “I don’t want noble sacrifices. I just want you.”
“I’m still fucked up.”
She shrugged. “I don’t see it that way. You’re wounded, but recovering. I want every part of you, the good and the bad, Justin.”
“Remind me to thank Andre for sending you my way.”
Julia grinned. “You wanted to kick his ass when I first showed up. Admit it.”
He chuckled. “Well, maybe a little, but
it was because I didn’t know what to do with you. You provoked a response right from the start, and I was struggling to stay in my soothingly numb state. You made me feel again—and something besides fear and anxiety. I didn’t think I wanted that, but it wasn’t long before I figured out it was what I needed.”
“I need you too.” She laid her head on his shoulder again. “More than I ever expected.”
Epilogue
It was almost three weeks before they could return home. It took that long to wrap up all the loose ends and receive clearance from the FBI and U.S. Marshals that the investigation was closed. They were never charged in Marconi’s death, but she hadn’t expected to be. Justin had worried he might be, since he didn’t have the history with the man that Julia had, but it was never mentioned as a possibility.
Now, they were back home at the ranch and had been for almost a week. He was feeling nervous and shaky, but it wasn’t from the onset of a panic attack. There had been a couple of those in New York, and he still kept his pill bottle close, but even the idea of the attacks didn’t frighten him as much as they used to.
No, tonight’s anxiety was completely related to the moment in front of him and had nothing to do with ghosts from the past. He was certain almost every man in his position had felt the same thing at such a moment.
She was frowning at him. “Is everything okay? You’re so quiet. After you made this lovely dinner, I expected you to be seducing me, but you’re tense.” Her blue eyes flashed with concern. “Are you about to have a panic attack? Do you have your pills?”
He waved a hand. “I’m fine.” Justin reached into his pocket, pulling out the item a moment later. At first, she didn’t realize it was anything significant, and he guessed she thought he was getting a beta blocker. Justin couldn’t fight back a huge grin that blossomed at the exact moment when she identified the item in the clamshell box after he popped it open.
Julia let out a strangled sound. “Is that…are you…?”
