by Mia Ford
Chapter 4: Neil
Texas always had a confused and mixed place in my heart, and I suspected it always would. It was the place of my father’s birth, the place he called home for the whole of his life, regardless of where he was actually living. I had grown up in Ashville, Alaska for my entire life. That whole time, my dad referred to Texas as his home anytime somebody asked. Hell, he would make sure to let people know he hailed from Texas whether they asked or not as if it gave him some kind of leg up on everyone around him.
There had been times when I was younger when I found myself actually jealous of the state, wishing my dad would talk about me with the same reverence he used for his home state. At the same time, the family ranch had always been one of my favorite places in the world to go to. I had many childhood memories of family vacations at that ranch, and they were things I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have traded for all of the world.
Because of those fond memories, being back at the ranch for the first time in almost a decade for a funeral made it feel even more like hell. I was here for my father’s funeral.
I stood beneath the endless Texas sky and listened to my father’s funeral service. The whole scene felt surreal. I was twenty-six years old, but until I had actually seen the jar of ashes my dad had been reduced to, a big part of me still believed he would live forever, just like a little kid would.
It was stupid, and I knew it, but stupid rarely stopped people. It sure as shit hadn’t stopped me. Even while spreading his ashes into the strong Texas wind, I’d hardly been able to believe that what I was doing was real. I had hardly been able to believe that my dad was actually dead.
“Jesus, Neil,” Brent said. “I don’t know what to say. I’m really sorry to hear about your dad.”
With a great deal of effort, I focused my eyes on Brent Faulkner, the man who had been my dad’s go-to person for as long as I could remember. He had always been my dad’s number two, essentially the next in line when it came to the business and the company.
For that reason, some people probably thought I had it out for him. That I considered him a rival or something. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. I liked Brent, and I’d always liked him. Even during the years when I thought everyone else around my dad and me was a complete asshole.
Brent had always been nice to me, and I hadn’t ever gotten the vibe that he was trying to do anything shady. I was glad to have him there with me at the funeral, especially because he was the only one there that I could stand at all. That was a pretty fucked up thing to think, considering that most of the other people standing around beside me were technically family. But it had been a long time since I’d considered them to be anything of the sort.
When I looked at them, I was reminded of that scene towards the beginning of the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Everyone milling around the casino lobby was a giant reptile dinosaur thing, and nobody could see it but the totally fucked up Johnny Depp character.
I hadn’t seen any of them in a hell of a long time, years probably, but I would have been happy never to see them again. I didn’t even have to talk to them to know they weren’t really at my dad’s funeral to pay their respects. They were there to grovel. They were there to offer fake condolences, and then see what kind of piece of the pie they could get their hands on. Even thinking about it made me want to kick somebody’s ass, which made focusing in on Brent all the more important.
“Hey, man, thank you for coming.”
“Of course, Neil! As I said, I’m very, very sorry. Last time I checked, everything was fine with your dad. This heart attack came as a surprise to everyone, I think. I know I always thought your dad was going to outlive us all, and my guess is that everyone else did, too.”
“I think you may be right about that,” I mumbled, looking around at the people who were family, according to blood. They felt a lot more like enemies.
“Don’t worry about them,” Brent said in a low, mistrustful voice. It made me feel better, just because it seemed to so closely mirror my feelings for the vultures circling my dad’s grave. “I already had nice chats with a couple of them.”
“Oh yeah?” I answered as nonchalantly as I could manage, feeling a wave of hatred run through me so strong it made me shiver. “Want to tell me a little bit about that?”
“Let’s just say there were a few people with a little more interest in your dad’s financial situation than they had any right to have. They had some questions for you, and I decided to step in and answer them instead. I hope that’s all right. Please tell me if I overstepped.”
“Jesus, no. Thank you, Brent. I’m going to wind up in jail if they try to milk me for money now. Do you know how long it’s been since any of them have seen my dad? I don’t think they’ve even spoken with him, for Christ’s sake.”
“No,” Brent said slowly, the tendons in his neck popping out a little as he spoke and simultaneously surveyed the little clumps of my family members standing around and eyeing us. “Unfortunately, that’s not true. I happen to know that first hand.”
“Tell me.”
My jaw clenched before he even started talking. By the time he was done, I was ready to set the whole worthless group of my dad’s remaining family on fire and take whatever consequences might come to me.
There was no doubt in my mind that if we were still living in the kind of society where justice was primal and in our own hands, I would be able to do whatever the hell I wanted to those assholes without having anything happen to me at all. Brent had several examples to give me of my dad’s charming family, but they all amounted to the same exact thing.
Over the years they had made as many attempts as they could get away with to take as much from my dad as they could get. Sometimes, Brent had been able to talk him out of it, and sometimes, he hadn’t been, but the requests had been there consistently. Those requests were the only times dad’s family had ever bothered to keep in touch with him, which solidified their spot as complete assholes in my book.
It did one other thing for me as well, something I had been kind of uneasy about in my own mind before coming to Texas to lay my father to rest. There was no question that I was going to have to go back to Alaska, at least for a little while, and that was a truth I was just going to have to find a way to live with. When it came to my dad’s company, though, my mind was well on the way to being made up. It would be my company, because that was what my dad wanted, and I knew it. But Brent would be the one to run it, and that was a good thing to have figured out.
It meant I could get the hell out of Ashville sooner, rather than later, and there was nothing I could think of that I would want more. The only thing that came close to competing was getting out of Texas and never coming back. That was something I was going to achieve the moment I left the ranch and drove my shitty rental car to the nearest airport. I was going to get on a plane, do my duties in Ashville, and then I was never going to fucking look back.
Chapter 5: Fay
Neil grabbed my face and pulled me to his mouth. His kiss was full of passion and lust. He paused, pulled back and looked down at me. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Neil asked me.
I nodded my head. “Yes.” I said.
Neil grabbed my head again. His soft lips felt so much better than I had remembered. His tongue circled mine. I found my body began to respond in ways I hadn’t realized would happen. My panties felt wet and my nipples were hard. They brushed gently on the fabric of the white t-shirt I was wearing.
Neil slid a hand under my shirt. Guiding it up my stomach and to my breast. He grabbed it and I could feel his fingers finding my nipples. He squeezed and twisted it just a bit. I was surprised that it felt so good when he did that. He continued to kiss me, tasting me. He slid his hand back down my stomach and down to the button and zipper of my pants and undid them both. He slid his hand down farther, into my panties and then I felt his fingers on my clit. He began to move them up and down slowly and then around in circles.
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br /> “Mmm, Neil.” I moaned against his mouth. He pulled apart and helped me remove my jeans and shirt.
“You are absolutely perfect.” He said, observing me. Looking over my entire body. His eyes on me made me feel hot and bothered. “Lay on the bed.”
I walked the few steps over to my bed and got on. I laid down in the middle and looked at him. I wasn’t sure what to expect, as I had never done this before. I watched him remove his pants, his dick was huge. Bigger than I had imagined.
I watched him climb on the bed between my legs. He grabbed my panties and slid them down my legs.
“You don’t need these.” He said and flung them across my room. He looked at me as he reached down and with his thumb, proceeded to rub my clit hard and fast.
“Oh my God.” I said. The pleasure was intense and my body was involuntarily jerking as he continued to rub around my clit. He slowed his movements and took his hand away, leaving me wanting more.
“I want to taste you.” He said and I watched as he laid down in between my legs and pressed his mouth to me. He began to lick my clit. The feeling was absolutely sensational.
“That feels so good.” I said. He increased the speed at which he was licking me now. He moved his head as he moved his tongue, pressing so there was some force behind it. He stopped and looked at me. “You taste so good, but now I just want to feel you. Are you sure, this is okay?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, Neil. Please let me feel you.” I said, almost begging him. I was so turned on and wet. I wanted to feel more of him, all of him. I needed to feel every bit of pleasure he could bring me.
Neil laid down next to me. “You should get on top. That way you can go at your own pace.” He said.
I gave him a small nod and then straddled him. I slowly lowered myself onto him. I felt the head of his dick at my whole, pressing, trying to get inside. I lowered myself a little farther down and I felt him enter me a little bit. I braced myself for the pain as I lowered myself even more, but there was no pain. Only pleasure.
I lowered myself all the way onto him and I gasped from the pleasure.
“You’re so tight.” He said.
I moved my body up and down, bouncing on his large dick. It was an almost indescribable pleasure. The feeling of him fully inside of me, my body moving with his, was amazing. It was pure ecstasy.
“This feels so good.” I said to him as I leaned forward and placed my hands on his chest to get a good grip. I moved my body up and down, allowing myself to slide on his dick.
Neil wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me forward. He began to fuck my pussy with his dick. He moved himself so quickly that I thought he might burst through me. And then he stopped. “Bend over” He said to me and I nodded my head in response. I moved myself off of him, which was almost torturous. I wanted to keep riding him
I bent over in front of him and I felt him slide a finger inside of me. He moved it around, slowly causing me to wiggle my ass a little bit. He pulled his finger out and then I felt him pressing into it.
He leaned into me and whispered, “Tell me how bad you want it.”
“So bad, Neil. I want it so bad. Please fuck me.” I begged.
Neil pushed and I suddenly felt him inside of me. He moved his hips, thrusting in and out of me. He started moving faster and faster. He had me calling out, my body was tensing.
“I’m gonna come.” Neil said as he thrusted harder and deeper inside of me.
I felt myself getting closer, a build-up of pleasure that had been slowly building up for years now. I felt myself on the edge of the most beautiful orgasm ever and suddenly I rolled my head back, closed my eyes, and began moaning so load. I was having my first official orgasm and it was the best feeling of my whole entire life.
The sound of my alarm going off, startled me from my sleep. I sat up, disoriented and reached for my clock to shut the noise off. I was panting and sweaty. But I felt so relaxed. I thought about the dream I had just had. I was having sex with Neil. It had felt so real, though I wasn’t really sure what sex felt like, I had an idea. I was also, ninety-nine percent sure that I had just had an orgasm from a dream.
It had been almost two weeks since Courtney had told me about Neil’s father passing away. I hadn’t been able to get the conversation out of my head. I hadn’t been able to get Neil out of my head. It was more than a little bit unnerving after spending years trying to achieve that very thing.
Even now, trying to get ready for work, I could feel him in the back of my head, trying to make his way up to the front again. It was a place he’d occupied for quite some time, for several years after he’d made what he liked to call his “escape” from Ashville. It felt shockingly natural to let him come right back to it again. That was something I couldn’t let happen. It was awful, what had happened to his dad, but that didn’t make him any more a part of my life now than he had been before Courtney had told me what happened. I would do well to remember it.
“You’re just being silly, Fay,” I whispered to myself, feeling downright foolish, and also aware that I was going to be late to work if I didn’t get my ass in gear. “Cut it out.”
I nodded to myself, as if my pitiful attempt at a self-reprimand was actually going to do any good, and hurried out of my front door. I managed to get out and get the door locked before it caught my eye; the thing that completely stopped me in my tracks.
“Oh my God.”
My voice sounded flat in my own ears and some vague, far away feeling part of my brain wondered if I was in some kind of shock or something. The voice wasn’t present enough to really gain any traction. It was even less authoritative than the voice I’d used to reprimand myself, which seemed like a dismally impressive thing to be able to say.
The light I saw in the Driscoll house was enough to make me feel like I had been hit by a bus, or something even more destructive. The house I was living in was the house I had grown up in, left to me when my mother had suddenly passed away when I was eighteen years old. It was also the house that had a prime view of the Driscoll residence, which sat high up on a hill I could clearly see from my front porch.
I had seen light pouring out of its windows plenty of times over the years, which only made sense, seeing as it was where Neil’s dad continued to live after Neil moved on and never looked back. There hadn’t been any lights on since Mr. Driscoll had passed away, but that didn’t mean anything. Or at least, it didn’t have to mean anything, although it could have.
“No,” I hissed at myself, actually starting to get a little pissed at myself by that point. “It doesn’t, okay? It means nothing. Now get to work.”
I nodded to myself as if somebody else had given me the instruction instead of it having been delivered by me, to me. I headed to my car. I was acting like a complete basket case. I knew it, and I didn’t like it one bit. There was absolutely no reason to think a stupid light in the Driscoll residence meant that Neil had come home.
They’d had a housekeeper for as long as I had known them, and it only made sense that she would be there to help clean the house up now that he was gone. Then there was the business manager, a man whose name I couldn’t remember at the moment, but who would very likely be there to help put the elder Driscoll’s home in order. There were all kinds of likely explanations and not a one of them involved Neil.
That was only wishful thinking, and what made it sting was that the thinking was based on a person I didn’t know anymore. Neil and I had been in a relationship that had meant more to me than I liked to admit, but that had been in a whole different life. We didn’t know each other now and never would again. A death in his family wasn’t going to change that. No matter how many romance novels I read.
***
“Hey, girl! For a minute, I thought you really weren’t going to show up!”
“Hey, Court, I’m sorry. I guess I got off to a slow start.”
“Please!” Courtney laughed, pulling on the old sweatshirt that indicated to me she was about to head
into the walk-in so that she could take some inventory. “I was about to throw you a parade. I’m pretty sure you haven’t ever done even one slightly irresponsible thing since we’ve known each other. If you’d skipped work, it would have shown me that there’s still help for you yet. Besides, it’s not exactly like this place is hopping, you know?”
Courtney looked around the diner with a sour, bored expression on her face, and I followed suit. Busy definitely wasn’t a word you would use to describe the place, that was for sure. As was more often the case than not, there wasn’t a single soul inside of those four walls aside from us.
I laughed, not because I was trying to be mean, but because it was just another example of how completely different the two of us really were. She looked at the empty diner and saw it as proof of how boring Ashville was. Although, I had a sneaking suspicion that if the opportunity to leave ever actually presented itself, it was one she would decline. I looked at the empty diner and saw an opportunity. I saw an opportunity to regain some of my mental footing, an opportunity to get my bearings again, once and for all, after the stupid funk the news about Neil’s father had put me into. It was just an example of life going on as it normally did, and who didn’t need a thing like that from time to time?
“I’m going to the back.” Courtney broke into my thoughts with a tone so dramatically morose it started me laughing all over again. “You’ll be okay up here on your own?”
