by Susan Fodor
“Sorry, I … I ...” Sophia cried, overwhelmed further by Dr. Conneely’s transformation.
“You freaked.” Charlie shrugged, reassuringly. “It’s normal; you’re human.”
“You can do what he does?” Sophia asked me, a look of disbelief in her eyes.
“Nope.” I shook my head. “I have no skills and no skin.” I left out, and no Heart of the Sea radar, and I’m a total dud that all of you are putting your faith in.
“I can,” Charlie boasted, a goofy grin playing across his lips.
“Mum’s got a fur pelt thing for her transformation,” I added, as though it might help Sophia understand.
“I just breath underwater,” Daniel informed comically.
“And the tail,” Charlie reminded Daniel helpfully.
“Yeah,” Daniel nodded, “I have a big silver fish tail too.”
“I need a beer,” Sophia said wearily, looking at each of us as though we were crazy.
“Come on, Mum,” Daniel teased, “how many people can say they’re surrounded by mythical creatures?”
Sophia smiled tightly, trying to make the best out of a strange scene.
“Sorry to cause distress,” Dr. Conneely apologized, standing up with the blankets in hand to cover his shriveled body. “The couch was uncomfortable, so I slept in seal form because it’s better suited for lumpy surfaces. I didn’t mean to cause offense.”
“It’s your sausage that’s about to cause offense.” Charlie pointed to a small gape in the blanket.
“Chhhhhhaaaarrrrrllllliiiiieeeeee,” I reprimanded, blushing on Dr. Conneely’s behalf.
“Good call, dude,” Daniel smiled, as they bumped fists.
They seemed more relaxed having spent the night alone together. While there was still woodenness in the exchange, the tension of the plane was ebbing.
Dr. Conneely’s wrinkled face reddened as he apologized again, and covered up thoroughly.
Fortunately, Mum stumbled out of the room to bring some focus to our mayhem.
“Where are we headed this morning?” she asked, her caramel curls falling gracefully down her back. I should have long suspected that there was something different about Mum, how else would she wake looking so respectable and composed every morning. Especially when I looked like I’d been wrestling bears all night.
“I was thinking we could go to my parents’ home,” Dr. Conneely replied, still blushing.
“Well, let’s all get dressed then,” Mum ordered; her regal voice whipping us all into action.
I was desperate to spend alone time with Daniel. The house bustled with such activity that it was easy to steal him away to spend a few minutes in the spectacular garden. All the plants were breaking into bloom in the backyard. The high fence closed out the world and gave us a floral backdrop, full of creeping rose-pink vines, exquisite Camellias and fragrant Rhododendrons. We found a big oak to hide behind for privacy; I stole countless kisses as I pressed Daniel against the tree, eager to have his arms around me.
Daniel laughed when his cold hands caused me to yelp when they brushed against the warmth of my back; he kissed my nose affectionately.
"I missed you last night," I told him.
"I would have preferred your company too," Daniel said reflectively, “but Charlie and I got to talk for a while and that was... not what I expected.”
A knowing grin curled across my lips. "So you don't hate his selkie guts?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You're a selkie," Daniel spoke softly, his tone thoughtful. "I can never hate another selkie again, because that’s part of you and I can’t hate any part of you. After hanging out with Charlie, he’s not that bad...”
"So you've replaced Tim overnight?" I teased in mock horror.
"Tim and I didn't have that much in common,” Daniel said honestly, “but Charlie and I have experienced a lot of the same challenges. Like the whole being a fish or seal out of water, pardon the pun. Being on land because it's the best thing for the kingdom but feeling guilty about it. Worrying about what kind of leader you’re going to be and whether you can keep your people safe and fed. It’s a lot of pressure, but Charlie understands that, which is a rare trait in friends. You know Charlie’s next in line to be king of Seal Rock?"
"No," I replied, thoughtfully.
I had assumed I would be next in line, but I didn't want to verbalize my disappointment at being overlooked. I tried to figure our how Charlie was prince of seal rock, when I was the princess. Could Charlie be my biological brother? That didn’t make sense. There was three years between us, but Mum would never leave a child behind, or would she?
"Babe?" Daniel asked, noticing the perplexed look on my face.
"Yeah, I'm glad you both get along." I smiled, keeping my feelings to myself.
"Don’t worry you're still first in my heart," he teased, hugging me. "It's just refreshing to have a guy to share stuff with."
I nodded, still preoccupied with my own place in selkie society.
"Once we find the Heart of the Sea, everything will be different. All the laws will revert to the way they were before the lights went out. I'll need to rewrite some of the laws, not to mention a new treaty with the selkies," he said, giving me a squeeze. "The next few months will be hectic, but things are going to be better, you’ll see. We can make this work."
I wanted to ask, what if we don’t find the Heart of the Sea? Will we run away together or fight the system in some way? I wanted to form some backup plans, but Daniel was so happy, I didn’t want to hurt him with a not-so-happily-ever-after. The thought was too painful to raise, and the conversation was one that neither of us wanted to have.
"Won't your king do all that?" I asked, hoping that speaking about the future in positive tones would make it that way.
Daniel sighed heavily. "The king is flakey; no one knows what he spends his days doing, but he rarely worries about the kingdom."
"Oh," I replied not sure how to respond.
"After we get back I'll have to move back to Atlantis permanently," he continued.
"What?" I asked, pulling away in shock to fix him with a disbelieving look. "What about school?" I left out the question about our relationship, assuming it was implied.
"I don't need school." Daniel shrugged. "But Atlantis needs me."
“Doesn’t Atlantis need an educated ruler?” I challenged.
Daniel stiffened but continued to be civil. “Mother has trained me to be an effective ruler; that is all the education a switcher requires.”
Sensing Daniel’s discomfort I changed the topic. "I can't go to Atlantis." I exhaled heavily, trying to lighten my tone. “I’m human, the whole not being able to breath under water thing will do terrible things for my complexion.”
Daniel laughed, hearing the Tamara undertones of my statement.
He deliberated for a moment before saying, “You’ll learn to morph like Charlie and then you’ll be on Seal Rock, just a few short minutes swim to Atlantis,” he said, unconvinced by his own argument.
“Selkies can’t breath under water,” I stated the obvious. “We can’t uncloak or unmorph in Atlantis. I don’t know how things will change so dramatically, if we can only visit for short stretches of time, and never in human form.”
Daniel kissed my forehead. “We’ll work it out; we will be together.”
But his empty platitudes weren’t enough. I’d opened the floodgates of doubt for the future of our relationship, and I was going to ride the wave. “I want to go to university. I’m not ready to give up my life on land.”
Daniel looked into my eyes. “I know it’s all really difficult at the moment, but once you see Atlantis, you’ll want to live there, and we will work it out so you can. The finfolk are amazing inventors; we’ll find a way for our queen to live in the city.”
“Fine,” I agreed unconvinced, but unwilling to continue discussing hypothetical situations. We would work out the logistics of our future once Daniel and the selkie children were safe.
“Come on, lovebirds,” Charlie called, “we need to get going.”
I was preoccupied with trying to work out selkie hierarchy, as Daniel and I made our way back into the house. Daniel returned to his room to prepare for the day, while I sought out Mum hoping she would have some answers.
Mum was bustling around our rustic room. Natural wood trimmings adorned the bed head, mirror and built-in wardrobe. The bed was still unmade from our sudden departure; I began to straighten the blankets to seem relaxed about what I wanted to talk about.
“Who’s next in line to Seal Rock?” I asked Mum casually, hoping she didn’t notice pitch in my voice.
“You are, baby,” she replied without a hint of doubt, she joined me in making the bed. Mum was a natural helper; she must have been an amazing queen.
“Why? Are you worried about who will rule the rock if you become queen of the merworld?” Her tone implied how glamorous being a queen was.
“How will that work?” I asked sarcastically, slightly annoyed at the fact that she thought I would care about being royalty. Mum had raised me without a hint of pretension; it was weird that she suddenly wanted me to be a girly princess.
“It’s under water,” I exclaimed exasperated. “Even if I did actually have the ability to change into a seal---which I can’t---selkies can’t breath under water. How could I live under the sea with Daniel?”
“We can hold our breath for about an hour,” Mum encouraged.
“Great,” I said sarcastically, “so I can resurface every hour.”
“You’re very special, Mya,” Mum encouraged confidently. “Everything happens for a reason; you and Daniel work together, and you will find the Heart of the Sea and everything else will work itself out. Remember the Bible says that all things work for good for those who love God.”
“Really, Mum?” I asked, exasperated. “In my time of need, you quote Bible verses?” Whenever Mum was stressed, she always turned to her faith---I should have assumed that she would---but I needed more than a think-positive speech. I needed solid answers; I wanted to know what was going to happen next, whether all the stress and worry I was experiencing would lead to Daniel and me being together, when all the signs were pointing to us being torn apart.
“I’m just saying that you are a child of God; if you trust Him and His plan for you, everything will be OK.” Mum smiled.
“Fine,” I agreed, placating Mum before I had to listen to the rest of the sermon.
Mum smiled; the knowing look on her face meant she knew I was avoiding further discussion. “If you want to know more about Seal Rock and the selkie kingdom, maybe you should talk to Charlie.”
I smiled and left, making it look like I was taking her advice. I had decided to let the whole thing go, it wasn’t my concern, humans couldn’t live on Seal Rock anyway.
After a quick breakfast we piled into the cars and headed out toward the same bluff where we’d found Kerensa. We walked along the cliff’s edge, until we found an outcropping of granite that had been arranged into a fence around a large cottage.
Dr. Conneely didn’t bother to knock he simply let us in. The house looked like it had been abandoned for some time. Particles of dust danced in the sunlight that filtered through the ancient curtains, giving the house a mythical feeling.
“Search everything,” Dr. Conneely ordered.
“Won’t the owners come home?” Mum asked, hating to break the rules.
“This was my parents’ home,” Dr. Conneely admitted. “It’s been abandoned since they passed away.”
We each branched out, looking for something that could be the Heart of the Sea. Self-doubt filled me as I looked through old photos and the personal items of a couple that had ruined two colonies of seafolk for the sake of their love. Daniel could die in a few days because Adrian and Celeste had chosen to leave behind their responsibilities, and it had led to a war. Even if by some miracle we could find the Heart of the Sea and restore merfolk-selkie relations, would Daniel be willing to leave Atlantis for me? Would the distance prove too much for our relationship?
“You look dire,” Daniel teased, sneaking up on me.
I plonked onto the old patchwork crochet blanket on the bed, dejected.
“It’s so stupid,” I fumed, frustrated by the unknown. “I don’t even know what I’m looking for.”
“You’ll know it when you see it,” Daniel replied, without a shred of doubt.
“They were so selfish!” I ranted. “How could they do that to their own people?”
“I’m sure they didn’t realize the far-reaching consequences of their actions,” Daniel replied, thoughtfully. “They were in love, and they ran away. I’m sure they never imagined that Atlantis would lose its light and that the selkie city would be destroyed.”
Daniel plopped down beside me, sending a plume of dust into the light.
“Would you do that for us?” I asked, searching his blue eyes.
“We don’t need to do that,” Daniel smiled confidently. “We’re meant to be together. You’ll return the Heart of the Sea, transform into a selkie, unite our people and everyone will live happily ever after.”
“And if I don’t find it?” I asked, reluctantly.
“You will,” he replied, confidently. “Stop worrying and keep looking.”
Daniel’s stoic nonchalance was annoying. A commotion in the kitchen interrupted our conversation; we hurried to investigate the source of the ruckus.
“What’s going on here?” yelled Kerensa, her hair wild from the hurried trip across the moors. The siblings were staring daggers at each other in the dusty kitchen.
“We’re looking for the Heart of the Sea,” Dr. Conneely informed his sister, unconcerned by her surliness.
“It’s not here!” Kerensa bellowed, looking like the homeless cat woman from The Simpsons.
“Well, then there’s no harm in us having a look around,” Dr. Conneely retorted.
Kerensa sunk into a chair. “I got a call from the Uptons that there were some Emmets robbing me parents’ house,” Kerensa said, calming a little. “It just about sent me mad.”
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Conneely weaseled. “I should have asked you yesterday.”
“It’s fine,” she said, her temper dwindling. “Why’s it suddenly so important?”
Dr. Conneely filled Kerensa in on the details of our situation, as each member of our party filtered back into the kitchen empty-handed.
“Seems to me, if ye want to know what the Heart of the Sea is, you’d go visit Alamer,” Kerensa stated.
“Who’s that?” I asked, chewing my lip, feeling the slightest tinge of hope.
“Not who, where?” Kerensa corrected with a cackle. “It’s the underwater city we immigrated from, it’s just off the coast here.”
Dr. Conneely slapped his head. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“I was always the smart one,” Kerensa teased, her smile making her look younger.
“It would seem that way,” Dr. Conneely agreed, his face wrinkling into a smile. Despite years of being apart they still had a deep fondness for each other. I wished Mum and Dad had afforded me a sibling, but I saw now how complicated that would have been.
Kerensa agreed to take Sophia and me back to town, as the others headed down to the beach to swim out to Alamer.
More than ever I realized how different I was. The forlorn look on my face watching the others leave incited Kerensa's empathy.
"There's nuthin worse than wanting to go home when you can't," she sympathized.
"I feel like I should be there," I agreed. I was the one who was supposed to return the Heart of the Sea according to Dr. Conneely’s vision, but I couldn’t even journey to the underwater city. For curiosity's sake I wanted to visit Alamer, but I was happy to be human, and to be walking around clothed and not swimming in the freezing sea naked.
"Where's ye pelt?" Kerensa asked sympathetically.
"I wasn't born with one," I admitted, swallowing the lump of emotion
in my throat.
"So you're a changer," she concluded.
"Nope, just a regular human." I shook my head.
"Your mama's royalty," Kerensa reasoned, "so your papa would be too; you're just a late bloomer. Marilyn me sister didn't turn till she was well into her thirties. She's a changer like Cubert, the doctor. I was the only one born with a pelt, and it's brought me nuthing but trouble. The others were lucky."
"Where do you think Arthur hid your pelt?" I asked, changing the subject, because talking about it made me feel worse.
"If I knew, I'd be back at Alamer with my sweet Jermyn," she said, her face looking younger at the mention of his name.
"Was he your boyfriend?" I asked.
"Me husband," she replied sadly. "I see him often, but I can't go home with him. He offered to come live on land but the neighbors are so nosy, it’d never work. I’d have run away years ago if the magic in our pelts didn’t keep us close by."
"That’s terrible," Sophia commiserated, doing a good job of hiding how weird she found the situation.
"I wish we could find it," I sighed, distracting myself from the pity party I was aching to throw myself. I needed to talk to someone and download my insecurities, but the people I loved most were all invested in my magical transformation. All those who weren't, like Jaimie, would think I'd lost my mind.
Watching Daniel, Charlie and Mum descend the seaside path to swim to an underwater city illustrated how different I was. I wanted to change to fit in as much as I wanted to remain human. My head was full of static, and all I needed was quiet, to think and work out what I was feeling. Then maybe I could focus on the Heart of the Sea better.
Kerensa parked the car beside a slate-fenced cemetery. The gravestones ranged from flat simple plaques to towering crosses and childlike cherubs.
“I gotta put some flowers on me parent’s resting place,” she said, grabbing a bouquet of white lilies from the back of the car.
While Kerensa placed flowers on her parents’ graves, I wandered from gravestone to gravestone, reading the names and calculating the ages of those interred.
"Ennor Parks, 1890-1936, Wife Mother Friend," I read.
