“Besides,” Jessica adds with a sly grin and an evil gleam in her eyes, “Josh will take her home and fuck her until she’s sober again. Then, in the morning, she’ll act like it never happened, right, December?”
I feel Danny appear from a dark corner. His gaze is on me like he knows something is coming. Like he knows the truth is coming. Josh tenses and turns into a statue at my side. I stare at Josh’s lush lips.
And it all comes back to me.
Josh and I didn’t only make out that night. We had sex. We had oral sex. He went down on me on his couch before I completely passed out. The memory is a kaleidoscope of blurry images. Limbs holding limbs. Gasping and moaning. We were both out of it, but it was me who began the initiation. It was me who opened my legs. It was me who pushed down hard on his mouth, begging him for more.
It was me who begged for more.
He gave me more.
Damn it.
My blood boils. Jessica definitely knows how to fuck up a party. “Maybe if you weren’t a selfish control freak and a major manipulating bitch, you’d keep a guy for more than a few hours,” I slur between a yell and a shout. “You bought the vodka to get me drunk because you knew I would drink it. But you’re right. I’m a big girl, and you’re not to blame for my actions.” I turn to everyone and shrug. “Yeah, that’s right. Josh went down on me, and I blew Danny in the shower. So eat up, folks.”
There are a few gasps, but mostly everyone’s eyes bug out of their skulls, everyone except Jarvis and Danny. Jarvis smiles at me like he’s proud, like he didn’t know I had that in me. Danny doesn’t smile. Danny is coolly detached and aloof yet aware enough that the heat of his gaze burns me. Piper’s face pales, and she forks over her slice of cake like she wishes to be anywhere but here.
I quickly walk up to Jessica and shove my middle finger in her face, and then I storm off.
“GO DECEMBER!” July cheers.
Someone follows me into the house of mirrors. That someone is Danny. My steps slow, and I halt suddenly, turning to see his brooding expression is on every pane of glass. He frowns down at me. I’m stunned for a moment. God, this man is beautiful. How can a man be this handsome? It’s like I have to wince every time my eyes land on his exquisite face.
“We need to talk.”
“So talk.”
“We should have this conversation when you’re sober.”
“Christ, Danny, spit it out already. What? Four years isn’t enough time to figure out what you have to say?”
He walks up to me, looking into my eyes the entire time. I don’t move a muscle, though I want to flee from all of his intensity coming at me like a Mack truck. He stops in front of me, reaching up to touch my face. “You want to know the truth, December?”
I have to remind myself not to roll my eyes. “Obviously.”
“I hurt you.”
“Shut up, Danny.” I attempt to shake him off me, but his hands only tighten.
“No running away.” His voices is soft almost tender. I can’t handle him like this. I can’t deal with the way he’s softly speaking to me and the gentleness and understanding in his eyes. I especially can’t deal with the way he takes my face in his hands, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. “I hurt you. I scarred you at the age of sixteen. All this is my fault.”
“All of what?” I ask snappily.
“All of your pain, December. You drink like you’re trying to forget something. I traumatized you.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “You didn’t traumatize me.”
His thumb traces my bottom lip, his eyes staring deeply into mine. “I did. You know I did. I’m sorry. I’m a fucking broken record with saying how sorry I am, but it’s the truth. I take on the blame of why you have the mentality of a teenager. It’s my fault.”
My brows knit together, fury taking over my features. I push frantically against his chest. “Fuck you. ‘I have the mentality of a teenager’? You don’t have the right, Danny. You don’t know a goddamn thing when it comes to me.”
He holds me in his arms, placing his lips at my ear. “If I’m wrong, December, then why are you upset?”
“Why did you leave me?” I shout, looking at him and trying my best to keep the fragments all together.
His thick brows furrow as he stares at me. “I did it for you.”
“Right,” I scuff in a snarky tone. I’m too angry to cry and wounded enough to fight. My words are my greatest weapon when it comes to Danny. “Okay, baby, you did it for me.” I relax my body and give in. I will my body to turn as soft as butter in his grasp. “Thank you. Thank you for leaving for four years. Thank you for not sending a letter to let me know you were alive. And thank so fucking much for not even saying good-bye. Thank you, Danny.”
His hands gingerly slide down my arms, and he circles my wrists with his long fingers. “I did it for you, December. I didn’t want any distractions. I needed to work and finish out my contract. That was the only thing I focused on. After everything was done and over with, I wanted to come back to you, come back home.”
I try to jerk away to no avail. He holds my wrists securely in his grip, pulling me back to him. He looks into my eyes and gives me a saddened laugh. “I couldn’t say good-bye to you, December. Do you not understand what that would mean? I couldn’t go through four years knowing that the last look on your face was a look I put there. I couldn’t tell you because that would have haunted me. Telling you I was leaving would have killed me, and I couldn’t do it. I’d rather picture you the way I left you. Remember? I took you here, and we rode the horses all night. You were happy and laughing. You had your eyes closed, and your hair was blowing in the wind like it was tonight. You were happy, December. I couldn’t take that away from you for anything in the world. So yes, I did it for you. I did it all for you.”
“I hate you, Danny.” I punctuate each word through clenched teeth. My nose is stinging, and there’s a distinct ache in my voice.
This man will not see me crack.
This man will not see me break.
“You don’t,” he whispers, lowering his eyelids to my mouth. “You love me, and knowing that is enough for now.” He releases my wrists, moving a palm up my back. It settles at the hair at my nape, and his hand twists in it. He pulls it until I moan. Then his warm, supple lips cover mine. He takes advantage of my open mouth and thrusts his tongue between my lips, his fingers still twisting in my hair, while his free hand is wrapped around my waist. This time, when I melt like butter in his arms, it’s for real.
“I really don’t like you right now,” I mumble between scorching kisses.
He walks me backward, cornering me against the sheet of freezing glass. “I don’t like you right now, either. Do you think I like that Josh had his mouth on you? Do you think I enjoy that he knows how good you smell, how wet you can get, and how undeniably sexy you look when you come?” He kisses me hard and takes my bottom lip between his teeth. He stretches it until my breath catches. Danny gives me a dark look before he nips me hard enough to draw blood. “I don’t fucking like it. He shouldn’t have touched you. Ever.”
I gasp and shiver, a sensational warmth fluttering low in my belly at the sharp flicker of pain pulsing through my lip. The bite of pain shoots directly between my legs like an explosion of pleasure. I taste copper on my tongue. The fucker broke skin. Danny sucks my injured lip into his mouth and nurses it with several swipes of his tongue.
He presses his body into mine, rubbing the hard contours of himself against me.
“Danny.” My voice is breathy and aroused.
He shoves a hand down the front of my jeans before I can catch my breath. His palm slides inside the waistband of my panties and begins to vigorously stroke me. I toss my head back, blindsided by the pleasurable sensations. My breath hitches, my shaky legs clamping together.
“Don’t come.” He growls into my ear.
“Please.”
“No,” he murmurs, bending his head to lick up the column of my throat.
A fierce fire blooms in the pit of my stomach and surges through my veins, warming me from the inside out. I break out into a severe sweat and shamelessly grind down on his hand. He shoves his middle finger into me, and I groan out in frustration. His fingers are dexterous between my trembling thighs. Danny takes me to the brink and pulls me back until I’m shuddering and whispering insane promises.
His hand in my hair tugs as he pulls my face back to look me in my eyes. “I’m still pissed at you. I’m angry that you lied to me. I’m upset that you want me to be the man that’s always taking from you.”
“You don’t know—” I lose my breath when his finger begins to rub a tender spot inside of me that causes my back to spasm.
“Shut up. I do know what I’m talking about. Watch me prove it. Kiss me.”
I yank back, going nowhere due to his hand tangled in my hair.
“See?” he says, removing his hand from my hair to hold my jaw. Danny squeezes my cheeks with his hand until my lips are forced to pucker. He leans down to softly press his lips to my lips. His dark magnetic eyes intently stare into my mine. “You want me to be the man that constantly takes from you. That’s how you see me. I took your virginity and now I’m taking your kisses. You’ll suck my cock, but you won’t kiss me. You’ll eat takeout with me in private, but you won’t be seen in public with me. You’ll hold Josh’s hand at your surprise party without giving me the merest of glances, but alone in the shadows, you beg me to let you come when you’re riding my fingers. There’s a correlation here. Do you see it?”
Clenching my jaw, I shoot hot daggers at him because he’s right. He knows me too well. I can’t breathe. I can’t lower my eyes. I can’t do anything except quiver with molten anger.
“Well, look at her shine,” he whispers in a mocking tone, the pad of his thumb grazing the abraded flesh of my bottom lip. “I’m going to embrace your coldness and love your callousness because there isn’t one part of you that I don’t want, December.”
“So where do we go from here?” I pant as his fingers cleverly move between my legs.
“Anywhere as long as I’m with you.” His breath is hot in my ear, sending goose bumps racing across my skin.
He sharply twists his finger deep within me, and I convulse and shiver, coming hard on his hand. His mouth seals over mine, collecting my moans. My fingers are tangled in his silky hair, pulling him closer.
We bite. We lick. We devour. The kissing slows, and then his lips rest on mine, motionless. I open my eyes to his dark brown irises. He’s watching me a little too closely. I feel like I’m translucent and he can see right through me. I feel exposed and vulnerable.
“What?”
He gives me a lazy smile that just about stops my heart. “You’re a problem, bad little kitty.”
I bat my lashes at him, touching his beauty mole on his chin. “What do you mean?”
“You can play with me all you want. I love watching you create a game out of all this. It still isn’t going to change the outcome. But Josh may feel different. It isn’t nice that you play with his head. You’re game may be cruelty to him. This might not be amusing to him. He cares about you, and he’s . . . sensitive.”
“He loves me,” I clarify almost smugly. “And I’m not playing with his head. What do you take me as? Some kind of sadist? I’ve told him we should keep things where they are. I’ve told him we are friends. But you don’t understand Josh. He loves a challenge. He likes that I deny him. I think he takes it as an incentive to try harder. I love him. He’s been there for me when you weren’t. You shouldn’t comment on things you know nothing about.”
“Maybe you should get your priorities straight because you’re here with me,” he licks and sucks at my neck, and I hate myself because I allow it, “when he’s out there. He’s eating cake in the cold while you just came hot and heavy on my hand. How do you think that’ll make him feel? You’re not very considerate.”
“Fuck you,” I mutter breathlessly, shoving desperately at his chest.
“Maybe later tonight,” he replies arrogantly, holding me firmer. “I’ll let you ride me this time, and I’ll make sure to add room for foreplay. But knowing you, you’ll want to get right down to business.”
“And maybe I can compare how good your skills are to Josh’s,” I counter, wanting to erase that smug expression from his face. It doesn’t work. This man doesn’t seem to have any humility at the moment.
He stares into my eyes, flashing me a slow, conceited smile I feel in my stomach. “I’m nothing to relate to, little lady. But you can try and fail.”
“Fuck you, Danny.”
“You will soon,” he says matter-of-factly, as if talking to an eager and misbehaving child that is begging to eat their dessert early. He removes his hand from my jeans, and we both stare down at his slicked fingers. He brings his fingers to his mouth, his tongue parting his lips, and he tastes me, licking his fingers.
“Danny,” I murmur huskily.
“Sweetest icing I’ve ever known.” His tone is dark and velvet. “You get back to your party.” He says it like a warning.
I’ll take it as my leave.
Without another word, I straighten my clothes and run my fingers through my messy waves. I walk away from Danny and make my way back to my party. Everyone is still chatting like Danny and I never left. Josh is on a bench talking quietly to his sister. Their blue eyes meet mine simultaneously. Accusation is brewing in Josh’s eyes, and Piper’s gaze is merely curious.
“Hey, blond ones,” I greet, sitting next to them on the bench. My obliviousness seems to break the ice.
“How have you been?” Piper asks softly.
I shrug. “Living life.”
“That’s one hell of a life you have,” Josh mutters. “You get around a lot for someone who’s homebound.”
“It’s a good life. I can’t complain,” I agree, nodding and pretending the double meaning in his words fly over my head.
“I see the bitch has made her grand appearance,” he says almost too low to hear.
“Call me that when your head is between my legs again. Maybe then I might remember it,” I reply haughtily.
Josh laughs humorlessly and snorts. His eyes have transformed into searing flames of blue fire that’s ready to roast me alive.
“Oh my God. Stop this,” Piper pleads, bringing her palms up to her face in horror. “Both of you are hurting each other. Stop it. Life is too short for this nonsense. Find a way to work things out or let each other go. Just don’t be mean to one another, calling each other nasty names and saying words you don’t mean or can’t take back.”
The mercilessness instantly leaks from every fiber of his body, and his eyes lose focus as he settles back on the rusted bench. He releases a heavy sigh, glancing at me. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry for being an insensitive bitch.” I respond like we go through this hate and love phase a hundred times a day.
“Good,” Piper says, lifting her chin at us. She’s a proud sister. She’s proud of Josh. “December, do you think we can have coffee sometime soon? I want to talk to you about a few things.”
“Yeah. Sure. Call me.”
“Okay.” She smiles genuinely. Piper stands and turns to face us. “Be kind to each other, kids. I’m off.”
We both mumble farewells and watch her tell everyone good-bye. She stops by Danny. He smiles at her, and they begin to talk for several minutes. He says something to her. She laughs and squeezes his arm. Their interaction is warm and affectionate. Then they both leave . . . together.
“Wonder where they’re off to,” Josh says too casually, stretching out his legs.
“Who cares? Are you ready to leave?”
“Are you still down for dinner?”
“Hell yes.”
He gives me a small smile. “Well, let’s go eat.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE PAST
December, age fifteen
It’s the day before Christm
as Eve. The sleepover incident is two weeks behind me. Josh caught Riley in the act of forcing me to have sex, and he beat the living shit out of him. I don’t remember it clearly, but I know whatever Josh saw made him go mad with fury. He snapped and lost it. Riley had to be rushed to the ICU the same night I had to go to the hospital for an examination. The nurses also took blood from a vein in my arm. Rohypnol was found in my system. I was drugged heavily but not raped.
There was an investigation done. Nothing happened out of it. Jessica also “unexpectedly” ended up in the hospital, drugged out of her mind. No one else from the sleepover got roofied. Riley had to have his face pieced back together, and he suddenly had no idea who jumped him. All in all, Josh saved me. But not everyone is spared. My mother cries almost every day. I constantly apologize for making her so sad. She cries more then. She hugs and kisses me every time she sees my face. Danny doesn’t let me out of his sight when we’re together. He gets anxious when I want to go places alone. He doesn’t like it, but he doesn’t stop me. I like venturing out by myself. I mainly go to the Lazy Ville Sanctuary to watch the animals there. I go because I love it, to gain a piece of mind. Besides, most of the animals don’t talk back.
I talk too much now. Mom and Danny wanted me to get a therapist, so I did. Her name is Mrs. Ginger. She’s old, seventy-four years to be exact. She’s nice, and we talk about everything, including me almost getting raped, but I talk about my father more than that.
I tell her how I wish I knew what he looked like and how much I love him, even though I don’t know anything about him. My sisters aren’t remotely warm to the idea of getting to know him even if he did reach out, which he hasn’t. But I am. I know he’s the missing link to who I am. I not only want to get to know him, I forgive him. I forgive him because I love him. I love a man that I have never met, a man I’m not sure wants to see me.
“What would you tell him right now, December? What would you tell him if your father was sitting here in front of you?” Mrs. Ginger asks, her expensive pen gliding smoothly over the yellow pad on her lap.
December (The Oliver Brothers Book 1) Page 11
