30
____
Tell Me of You
Another day of hanging out, doing absolutely nothing though they did, at the very least, drop by her place to pick up more clothes since she was practically living at his place.
Being with him was becoming her new regular.
Luka laughed as she toed off her shoes, hopping around as she tried to pull off her jeans next, though it tapered off when she was left in nothing more than her tank top and panties that were all yellow lace.
She climbed up onto the bed, straddling him as though they did this every day, resting her hands on his chest. When she shifted, trying to get more comfortable, his hands automatically flew to her waist, his fingers drifting beneath her shirt to skim over her waist, enjoying the contact just as much as she seemed to.
“You know,” she said after some time, “I hardly know anything about you.”
He figured this would come up eventually, had resolved himself to it, but more than that, he actually wanted to share his past with her. He didn’t know if he would tell her everything, not now at least, but he would share as much as he could.
“Ask me.”
If for no other reason than the answering smile he received, he would give her anything she asked for.
“We can start with something easy. Where are you from? I know Albania, but what—”
“Berat, it’s a small village. You might not have heard of it.”
She was trying not to seem too eager, and he could practically see the excited energy churning inside of her. “And your parents? Were they…”
“My father, yes. My nënë, no. She was born in Russia from what she tells me.”
Her face fell. “Did you never get to go there with her?”
Luka had a choice. He could either give her half-truths, just so she would continue to smile at him as she had been, or he could tell her the truth and watch as the story chipped away at her happiness. He wanted to pick the first option, but that wasn’t who he was. If she ever hoped to understand exactly who he was and why he acted the way he did, she had to know the truth, no matter how ugly it was.
“My nënë was bought by my father while he was married to another woman. When she was brought over, she could never leave the country again. My father was…well, he was a pretty powerful man at the time and his word was law.”
Nothing else could kill the mood quite like that did, but she did good, hiding her shock as best as she could for his sake. He appreciated the thought but knew that it sounded just as bad as it did.
“But you can’t just do that. You can’t just buy people.”
“She was a prostitute, Alex. To some, she wasn’t even a person.”
He saw it, the moment it all clicked in her head. She was thinking about Natasha, probably about how he had not necessarily defended the girl, but the names she was called. Shame and regret were clear in her eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
Luka shook his head, squeezing her side until she looked down at him. “We all say things we don’t mean when we’re upset. Next question.”
She shook her head, as if she was afraid that any question she asked now would achieve an answer worse than the one before. He gave her a pass. There was a reason he didn’t like talking about his past, and for now, he’d said enough.
“What was your happiest memory?” Now, it was his turn to ask the questions, and if he had his way, he would chase away the melancholy that had briefly surrounded them.
“My happiest memory? I don’t know. I guess I have a few. There was the day that Mishca took me for ice cream when I was six, or the time I’d found a turtle in our backyard and I named him Sunshine. Then, there was the day I met you.”
“How could that have made you happy?” That truly baffled him. From what he remembered, they’d barely spoken.
“But you don’t remember your face when I opened the door. I’m sure you were expecting Mish, and you had this weird look on your face like you didn’t know how you were going to act, but when you saw me, you smiled.”
He laughed, his eyes lighting up. “’Cause I wasn’t expecting you.”
Truthfully, he had been preparing himself for the sight of Mishca and what that would do to him. Never had he ever expected to find Alex on the other side, let alone form a bond with her.
Blushing, she tucked her hair behind her ear. “What’s yours? And it can’t be related to me.”
“But what if you were my best?”
“Don’t try and charm me, Luka. You’ve already gotten in my pants.”
Tucking his hands beneath his head, he racked his brain for an answer to her question because most of the memories he kept were painful. Before Alex, there was a lot of bloodshed, especially in the Pit, and after…there was more bloodshed, but for a different person.
But still…
“I was seven,” he said, telling her something he had never told another. “And my nënë was obsessed with keeping my hair the way she liked it. Most of the boys at my school had haircuts, but I was the only one there with hair like a girl. I was teased about it relentlessly, and since I was so small then, there wasn’t much I could do about it. One day, I just got fed up and told her I wanted to cut it all off. At first, I could see the sadness in her eyes, but she ultimately agreed, but only if she could cut her hair, too.” He shook his head as he thought back on that day. “She told me some women in her building had made remarks that her hair didn’t look like theirs, so it was unattractive. I was angry as fuck, and I made sure to let her know that I thought her hair was beautiful, that she was beautiful, and she shouldn’t let any of those bitches—no, I didn’t call them bitches in front of her—make her feel bad.”
Luka reached up to touch his own hair. “She told me if I felt that way, why didn’t I believe her when she told me my hair was fine as it was? I never complained again.”
He glanced up when the silence stretched between them, wondering what she was thinking, but Alex was just staring at him with those wide eyes. “Don’t you dare…”
“But that’s so sweet, Luka.” And her voice wavered as she blinked, a shaky smile forming.
“That doesn’t mean you cry about it.”
“I bet you were adorable when you were a kid.”
“I was a little shit.”
She shook her head. “I refuse to believe that. So where is she? Is she still in Albania?”
He opened his mouth, ready to tell her, but the words died on his tongue. How easily he could speak of others’ murders, but he couldn’t, not for his own mother. “My father, Ahmeti…he killed her.”
He waited for her to stiffen beneath him, to react to the horrific truth he had just told her, but besides the slight stilling of her hand, she gave no other physical reaction.
“Luka…”
“Don’t apologize. You didn’t take her from me.”
Her fingers slipped free from his hair, drifting over his side. “Was this her name?” she asked softly.
Besides the predatory ink he had gotten done, along his ribs was her name in cursive letters. “Yeah…Her name was Galina.”
He remembered the last thing she had ever told him.
Show her the real you, even if you hide from everyone else.
“She would have liked you,” he found himself saying.
Alex waved his words away. “Maybe not.”
“No, I’m sure. She would have liked you because you—” he caught himself before he could finish that statement, changing it at the last second “—because you make me happy. And that was all she ever wanted for me.”
She didn’t seem to catch his slip.
She would have liked you because you love me.
It was there, he knew. That suffocating emotion that always enveloped them when they were together, but he wouldn’t presume to know what she had yet to tell him aloud.
And not when he couldn’t bring himself to say the words to her in return.
When you loved someone, you co
uld tell them your secrets, trust them with the truth…but he was still too afraid to really give her the chance to accept him and his past.
But until the secrets grew to be too much, he would enjoy this…for as long as she would have him.
____
When Alex woke up the next morning, she felt different, but for reasons she didn’t know. It wasn’t that anything had changed in her physically, but having stayed up all night with Luka talking about his life, she felt like she knew him better.
But she did notice that he seemed to be holding back from her. Sure, he talked about his life, but he only spoke of it up until he turned thirteen, then moved on to his life here with the Bratva. There was a vital piece missing, and she knew that this piece was the essence of who he was—mainly because he guarded it so tightly it seemed—but since he was opening up more, she figured he would tell her when he was ready.
Having already been up and about, she wanted to seize the day and do something for just the two of them before he had another job to do and she had to get back to training.
Luka was on his back, an arm thrown over his face to block out the sunlight. She doubted he was still sleeping, though. She had learned he had a rather religious schedule he stuck to when it came to his sleeping patterns. While the amount of time he spent asleep varied, he never went more than eight hours. Ever.
She poked his side, waiting for him to acknowledge her, but when he didn’t even stir, she poked him harder. “Hey, Tiger.”
He tried to pretend he was still sleeping, but she did see his mouth twitch. “It’s too early.”
“We can’t stay in bed all day,” she said, straddling his lap, hoping to get at least another kind of reaction out of him.
But he merely ignored her, still pretending to be asleep.
Climbing off him, she glared. “Luka…”
Fine. If he didn’t want to answer, then she had something for him.
In the time it had taken her to walk downstairs, fill the pitcher with both ice and water, and return, he still hadn’t moved. Loki was sitting in his usual spot, surveying them like he had better things to do. Alex stopped at the end of the bed, looking down on Luka, waiting for him to look at her.
“I’m serious. What do you say?”
He grumbled something she couldn’t make out, but still didn’t bother to even open his eyes and look at her.
He deserved his fate, Alex thought as she raised the pitcher, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to enjoy it immensely.
Biting her lip to stifle her laughter, she tipped the pitcher and dumped the contents on him.
Laughing loudly, she jumped back as he reared up, sputtering, his eyes wide as he shoved the dripping wet strands of blond hair from his face. She only laughed harder as he looked down at himself as if he had never encountered water before.
That look of wonder was soon replaced and she could see the intent clear in his eyes as she stumbled back a step when he immediately made a grab for her.
“We don’t have to fight about this,” she said between laughs, almost at the door. “I only wanted your attention. Now we can skip past this and get to the heart of the issue.”
But that was obviously not something he was ready to do. He reached for her again, impossibly long arms nearly snaring her ankle, but she was quick, darting out of the room before he was even off the bed.
Hearing him stumble out of the room after her only made her laugh harder as she raced through the house trying to get away. But he was faster and more determined, and before she had even cleared the living room, he had an arm around her waist, hauling her up against him.
Alex shrieked, slapping at his back for him to put her down, but he kept moving, and she realized, almost belatedly, that he was walking them into the kitchen.
“Luka, let’s talk about this!” She couldn’t see what he was doing, but knowing him, she wasn’t going to like it, especially if he was thinking retaliation.
Finally, he seemed to see reason as he set her on her feet. She took a deep breath, about to look at him when she heard the water turn on and the whirr of him pulling the hose next to it.
“Wait!” She threw her hands up, and he did pause, his face slowly spreading into a grin that, despite the circumstances, made her return it. “We can work this out without weapons.”
“Really? Explain that to me.”
“We can—”
Before she could finish that statement, he sprayed her directly in the face.
“You were saying?” he asked with a smirk, not in the slightest bit ashamed of what he’d done.
“Luka—”
He sprayed her again, laughing when she tried to dodge it. Water was getting everywhere, all over the counters and floors, soaking through the T-shirt of his that she was wearing.
“What were you saying? I can’t hear you! It’s the water, I think.”
She was laughing so hard her sides hurt, and finally, after she managed to knock the hose from his hands, the water stopped. They were both completely soaked, dripping even more water onto the floors.
But neither seemed to care much about this fact.
Alex didn’t think she had ever seen Luka look so carefree, his guard down for once. The feeling that swelled inside of her at seeing his smile was indescribable.
She went up on her tiptoes, kissing him gently, feeling his lips turn up beneath hers.
“Taking me out for one night won’t kill you.”
Sighing, though he didn’t look the least bit annoyed at the idea, he said, “Probably not.”
“Then let’s go somewhere, just us.”
Stepping forward, she kissed the underside of his jaw, and then smiled up at him. “Thank you.”
In answer, he shook his hair, spraying her with more water. “You’ve got twenty minutes.”
“Luka, I could never be ready in twenty minutes.”
And she was right about that. Even after leaving him in the kitchen to deal with the mess they’d made, she still wasn’t close to ready by the time he came back upstairs an hour later.
“Fucking Christ, what are you doing in here?” Luka grumbled as he entered the bathroom, already fully dressed and ready to go.
When the hell had he bothered to get clothes on?
Alex had only managed to shower and dry her hair, find a dress and shoes to wear, and she was still sitting in front of the mirror, a makeup brush in hand as she readied to finish applying the layer of foundation she’d started.
She met Luka’s eyes through the mirror. “I told you I would be a while.”
“We could be leaving now if, you know,” he gestured to her display of cosmetics. “You weren’t creating a new face.”
Rolling her eyes, she turned back to what she was doing. “I’ve never heard you complain about my new face.”
He plucked the brush from her hands, placing it back with the others, using the stool she was sitting on to turn her around. Without having to ask what was what, he reached for her makeup wipes, pulling a few free.
“I like when you do all that shit to your face.” He gently rubbed the cloth along her skin, meticulously removing every bit of color she had added. “But I like this side of you better. Take it easy, you can be soft with me, I won’t take advantage of it.”
Tossing it, he pulled at the band holding her hair up next, removing it and tossing that as well. Her hair tumbled forward over her shoulders and his fingers immediately came up to tuck it behind one of her ears.
“I think you’re beautiful, Alex. Like this.”
She could feel the flush in her face and couldn’t stop the shy smile that bloomed on her face even if she wanted. No one had ever given her a compliment quite like that, and even if they had, they weren’t Luka. For him to say it just made everything she was feeling for him that much more intense.
“Now, can we go because I can go back to sleep…”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
____
Alex’s hair was whipping b
ehind her as they sped down the road, exits and trees just a blur as Luka gunned the gas.
“Where are we going?” she shouted to be heard over the wind.
Her bare feet were kicked up on the dash, her heels on the floor. They’d been riding for a little more than a half an hour, and no matter how many times she asked, he refused to answer. Soon after, they pulled into a parking lot of a building without a sign, and she still didn’t have an answer.
But he obviously knew where they were.
Parking and pocketing his keys, he hopped out and came around to her side, opening her door.
Laughing at the boyish smile on his face, she slipped her shoes back on and accepted his hand as he helped her out.
As they walked, side by side, Alex slipped her hand beneath Luka’s, intertwining their fingers. She glanced up at him when she felt his eyes on her, but he didn’t pull away, just held tighter.
“You’ve given this some thought then,” Alex said as they approached the booth once they entered, now realizing they were in a movie theater.
But it wasn’t like any one that she had ever been to. This one looked like it had seen better days a decade ago, and while she should have been looking up at the board to see what was even playing in this place, Luka had bought the tickets and was guiding her down a long, winding hallway.
He obviously knew where he was going, and since he seemed so adamant about it, she didn’t question where he was taking her.
They reached a doorway with a large metal number ‘6’ hanging above it.
Luka navigated the dark expertly, leading up toward the back of the room to the second to last row of seats. He sat dead center, her to his right.
The previews had already started, ones that looked as old as the theater.
“So what are we seeing?”
“Le Quai des brumes.”
“Port of Shadows?” she asked in surprise, glancing up at the screen reflexively. “I love this movie.”
He smiled, glancing over at her.
Of course, he already knew that.
“But isn’t that a bit depressing for a first date, Luka?”
Port of Shadows told the story of a military deserter, Jean, who traveled to the city of Le Havre where he met and ultimately fell in love with a girl named Nelly. They would have lived happily ever after once their enemies were killed off, but in the last few minutes of the movie, Jean was shot and died in Nelly’s arms.
Hidden Monsters (Volkov Bratva Book 4) Page 23
