A few seconds was all he needed, and by the time Natasha was pulling that door open, smiling at him in surprise, he’d managed to conceal his anger as best he could. It was there, the interest in her eyes, and even as he was radiating malice, she wouldn’t care. It never bothered her before.
“Can I come in?”
She hesitated, glancing behind her, though he didn’t know for what. If someone had been in there with her, she wouldn’t have answered the door, or at the very least, not far enough where he could actually see inside. Glancing back at him, she finally nodded and stepped to the side to let him past.
Closing the door behind them, she remained there and watched his every move. She couldn’t have known about Alex—there was no one to tell her—but he could see it in her body language that she was nervous about him being in her place. Even if he’d had any doubt as to her involvement in this, it was gone now.
Feigning ease, he lifted his arms, brushing his fingers through his hair as he pushed it back out of his face. The action drew the hem of his shirt up, enough that her gaze immediately drifted there. He’d done it on purpose, making sure she could see that he wasn’t armed, not that that would do her much good, but it had the desired effect. She relaxed some, pushing away from the door as she headed around him and into the kitchen where she had a glass of wine sitting on the counter.
“Why are you here?” she asked, taking a sip. “I thought you didn’t want me anymore?”
And he still didn’t. “I needed to see you.”
“Oh? And is Alex okay with that?”
It was the wrong thing to say, and even she realized this as her eyes grew wide when he circled the island to get to her. She wisely took a step back, but there was nowhere for her to go with the refrigerator at her back.
“Fatos. What did he offer you?”
She had shaken her head before the sentence was fully out of his mouth, looking down at her feet. “I don’t know who that is.”
“You’ve known me for three years, and in that time, how many people have come to you about me?”
“Yeah? But where was your loyalty to me,” she snapped back, turning it on him. “I’d given you everything, but you turned your back on me the moment she came calling.”
He had entertained her pain once, even apologized though he hadn’t felt the need to. Because she had wanted that from him even when she didn’t ask for it.
Despite her act now, her need to draw him away from what he really wanted to know, it wouldn’t work today. “What did you tell him?”
She visibly swallowed, meeting his gaze. “Did he do something to you? He said he wasn’t going to hurt you.”
She didn’t know what he had done, no one did, but she could guess, and oftentimes, a person’s imagination was worse than any story told.
“Luka, please. You could never be happy with her,” she tried to explain herself.
Luka came up behind her, his hands sliding around her shoulders, pulling her back against him. She was crying, apologizing for her part, relaxing in his hold as she thought he was trying to comfort her.
But the only thing he could think of was how Alex had suffered because of her.
“I warned you once,” he whispered next to her ear, his hold gradually growing tighter. “Don’t ever betray me.”
She sputtered, gasping for breath as she tried to get free, but Luka was both bigger and stronger than she was. For a little more than a minute, he held her like this, not letting up even when her arms dropped loosely at her sides and her body went lax.
No, he waited until her heartbeat faded to nothing before dropping her in a chair.
For once, he didn’t stick around and wait for the remorse to hit him.
He still had someone left to see.
40
____
Left Unspoken
He was holding her too tight.
After Natasha and a conversation with Fatos that hadn’t gone well, Luka wanted nothing more than to spend every moment he could with Alex.
They remained at the safe house—that was the only place he could guarantee her safety. When he’d walked through the doors, the men giving him a wide berth and questioning glances, he’d immediately went to Alex’s room, checking to make sure she was where he’d left her. She had been sleeping soundly and stayed that way even after he’d showered and redressed, slipping into the bed beside her.
Luka had been careful slipping his arm around her, drawing her closer to him. Soon, she had turned, laying her hand over his heart, sighing in her sleep, as if the simple act brought her peace.
Exhaustion weighed on him, from what they had just done to everything he’d tried to finish with Fatos and the other Albanians. But he was only one man trying to fight a battle that he had no hope of winning, and he was finally ready, and willing, to accept that.
Did he want to give this up?
Everything inside of him rebelled at the idea of never seeing Alex again, never seeing the way she smiled at him when he made her laugh, the excitement in those big eyes of hers when she was truly happy. Now that he had finally gotten something to call his own, someone that made him believe again, he had to let it go.
And he would, if that meant keeping her safe.
He had known the risks. More than anything else, she was his weakness. Fatos had exploited that, and he would continue to do so until Luka gave in. That was just the game he liked to play.
Life is all about choices, Fatos had told him over the phone, a taunt meant to get under his skin. And it had. The words had burrowed their way inside of him and planted themselves, constantly playing over and over in his head.
He could stay here, reveal the truth to Alex, take his chances with the Bratva boss, and hope for the best. But if he went that route, Fatos wouldn’t come after him. He wouldn’t even wage war against the Bratva. He would just find a way to get to Alex, no matter where she went, no matter who was there to protect her. Then, just because he wanted to, he would go after Lauren, maybe hurt her or her unborn child.
Or…
Luka could do what he should have done years ago. Give himself over to the Albanians and do what he did best. Fight his way out. Of course, if Fatos thought Luka would make that choice, he wouldn’t stand for it.
No, he had to feel like he had won, as if he had bested Luka, which was something that he had never been able to do since they were children. There was no missing the greed and jealousy that lived inside of Fatos now. He just didn’t know how he had missed it for so long.
The only thing he could do now was willingly lose because it wasn’t about him—not even the Bratva or what he had done to Klaus so many years ago—it was about keeping this girl safe from harm.
Even if Luka was that harm.
Very soon, he would lose everything.
____
Over the next three days, there was nothing but radio silence. Mishca had disappeared with Klaus, leaving Luka to watch over Alex. While he had been curious about where they’d gone, he didn’t bother to find out more, not when he could spend his time with Alex.
She was recovering well enough. She didn’t seem to have any lingering trauma over being buried alive, but Luka watched her all the same, waiting for any sign that she was about to crack. He kept her occupied with reminders of her upcoming audition, and since it was tomorrow, he thought it would be better if they spent their last night together outside of the safe house.
“We’re going back to my place,” he said packing up the last of her things. “Tell me, how did you manage to accumulate so much shit when we’ve only been here for a few days?”
Alex rolled her eyes, buttoning her jeans as she went for her shoes next. “Don’t forget you brought it all.”
Ah, just so.
“And I’m okay with staying here.”
Luka didn’t want to give too much away, knowing that she could read him better than anyone.
“Can’t fuck you here, too many ears.” He smiled though it felt false.
“Unless you’re into that kind of thing…”
“By all means,” she responded with a wave of her hand. “Let’s get out of here. Besides, I think Loki misses me.”
Luka hesitated a moment, pulling her bag strap up his shoulder. “Yeah, he does. You’ll take care of him, yeah? If I’m not around?”
“Why wouldn’t you be around?”
“Humor me.”
Just as she could read him, he could see the varying emotions running across her face. Fear. Suspicion.
“Of course, I would. You love him and I…I love him, too.”
He knew what she’d been about to say, and that thought both elated and saddened him.
Clearing his throat, Luka looked away from her. “Let’s get out of here.”
The journey from the safe house to Luka’s was a rather long one as he took preemptive measures to make sure nobody followed them. Loki was waiting for them as soon as they cleared the door. He went to Alex first, showing her all the love that she could possibly want.
Seeing the two of them together told Luka everything he needed to know. When he was gone, Loki would be in good hands.
With one last scratch to Loki’s ears, Alex stood, looking at Luka with an expression he couldn’t mistake. “I think you promised me something, Luka.”
Laughing, he led her up to his room and gave her exactly what she wanted. For hours, he savored her, wanting to remember everything about this night, wanting to brand a piece of her onto himself.
He needed this…
Before he didn’t have it anymore.
For a long time, Luka lay awake, Alex long since having fallen asleep tucked into his side, the arm she had around him tight even in her sleep, like she was afraid he was going to slip away in the middle of the night.
After tonight, he knew he was out of time.
Fatos had always been prone to reckless behavior, but what he had done…he was determined to make sure that Luka knew he wasn’t going away quietly.
Laying in the quiet of his home, Luka also knew that it was time he paid for his sins.
He shifted, bringing Alex closer, if that were possible, one hand tangling in the fine strands of her hair. Enjoying her for as long as he could because he knew, with every part of his being, that this might be the last time he was able to have this with her.
Though he couldn’t make out the features of her face in the darkness of the room, he stared at her, mapping them out with light passes of his fingertips. He was happy with the peace she had finally been able to find. A peace he had ultimately been able to help give her. If there was nothing else he could take with him, something that was done without care of a reward, he had finally done good.
I love you, Alex…and I’m not saying it for you to say it in return. I’m saying it so you will know in case I never get the chance to tell you…
But yet…he couldn’t bring himself to say the words aloud, not because he was afraid, but because he feared he wouldn’t be around long enough to show her that he meant them.
____
Late into the night, in the wee hours of the morning, Alex woke up, slowly getting her bearings as she blinked her eyes open.
Luka was still at her back, his chest rising and falling with each even breath he took, but there was a tension within him that sleep didn’t shake.
Now more than ever, she knew something troubled him, and it was eating him up. She couldn’t help but notice that he was showering her with more affection than usual, not that he didn’t otherwise.
Luka didn’t whisper sweet nothings. He wasn’t constantly announcing his love, but Alex didn’t doubt his love for her. She felt it in everything he did. From the way he made her dinner, constantly trying new recipes if only to impress her. Then there was the way he listened to everything she said in a way that didn’t make her doubt that he actually heard what she was saying.
But more than all of that were their nights together. No matter if she fell asleep before him, he would slip in, careful not to jostle her too much as he shifted until he was at her back, his arm slipping around her body. He skimmed his hand beneath the edge of whatever shirt she was wearing, the pads of his fingers drifting over her stomach until she reacted.
She couldn’t know for sure, not when he wasn’t willing to share, but she couldn’t help but feel that something bad—something worse than being buried alive—was coming their way.
41
___
Choices
“What’s wrong?”
He tried. God, it was so obvious how he tried to force a smile to make her feel better, but now it was too easy for her to read him and the emotions he tried to hide. Ever since she had been buried in that warehouse, things had only gotten worse with him, but not in a way that she fully understood.
It was obvious that he felt guilty about what happened to her. No matter how often she said that it wasn’t his fault, he accepted her word but didn’t appear to get any better. Most days he was gone more often than he was home. She tried not to make a big deal out of this considering she didn’t want to smother him, but it was beginning to feel like he was pulling away from her, and she didn’t know how to make that stop.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” he asked, not looking at her. “Don’t want you to be late.”
It was obvious he was avoiding the question, but she refused to let him. “Luka, talk to me.”
But he ignored her, going over to the small chest in the corner of his room, pulling out a gun and a magazine. That did nothing to make her feel better.
Anyone that said dogs couldn’t discern human emotion obviously had never spent time around one.
As Luka clicked the magazine into place, placing the gun at the small of his back, she could practically feel Loki’s probing gaze on him like he, too, knew that this time was different.
When he moved to the door, Loki, his ever-loyal companion, attempted to trail behind him. Luka shook his head once, a silent command for Loki to stay, but he didn’t. Crouching down, Luka reached for him, smoothing a hand over the fur at the top of his head.
It broke her heart seeing the two of them that way. It didn’t matter that nothing was said, she could feel the change in them.
“You’ll watch out for her, won’t you?” Luka whispered so low that she almost didn’t hear him. “And anyone who gives her shit, you have my permission to take a chunk out their ass, yeah?”
He stood again, ready to leave once more, but Loki whined, taking a step in his direction.
“Stay.” The command even made Alex jump. “You can’t go with me this time.”
From what he had told her, Alex knew that Loki had been his only companion for the last few years. From the way he was speaking…as though he was never coming back…
“Luka—”
“Let’s go.”
Without much choice, Alex grabbed her bag and followed behind him.
As they rode together toward the studio in the heart of Chelsea, Alex reached between the them, clutching his hand and holding it like a lifeline.
When they arrived, and Luka put his Jeep into park, she sat with him, undoing her seatbelt to better face him.
“You’re not planning anything too crazy, are you? You’ll be here when I come out?”
Luka stared straight ahead, his eyes following the line of cars driving by. “This…all of this bullshit with the Albanians… By the time you walk out of here”—he pointed at the building to their right—“it’ll be done. You’ll be safe. That I can promise you.”
“Luka—”
He cut her off with a kiss, one that might have made her toes curl if not for their conversation…or lack thereof.
“Go be great.”
She wanted to stay with him, but he was already turning away from her. Sighing, Alex climbed out, slamming the door shut behind her. She turned to look back at him before he could pull off.
“Be careful, Luka.”
She waited on that curbside until he pulled off and
his Jeep disappeared in the sea of other cars.
____
Luka parked outside the old brownstone, reclining back against the seat and ignoring his cell phone buzzing beside him in the empty passenger seat.
His time was up and he’d accepted that, but he wasn’t going down alone.
Reaching around his seat, he pulled out another Glock, clicking off the safety. He didn’t have enough ammunition to take out everybody—he didn’t know how many were actually in the house—but he had enough for what he needed.
Before he got out, he thought of Alex—her smile, her laugh—and let the image of him calm him. If he could help it, then that would be the last image he thought of before he died.
Climbing out, Luka took a calming breath, letting the echo of heartbeat in his ears guide him as he headed for the door. Ringing the bell, he waited a second, another, then reared back and kicked it open, surprising the man who had been coming down the hall. Two shots to the chest dropped him, making the remainder of the men cry out in surprise, the sound of running feet carrying out.
He shot two more before they returned fire. Ducking behind a corner, he counted each shot, waiting for a break in shot before he leaned out, firing off more rounds.
Back and forth it went until Luka had to toss his gun, pulling the other free from the holster at his back.
This time, he didn’t stay hidden, but boldly moved toward the others, shooting as many as he could until that gun was empty, too.
Then, he just relied on brute force.
Punching one, he went down with one hit, his body crumpling to the floor, but more were on him, dragging him away and hitting him with the butt of a gun. His face exploded with pain, but that only made him laugh as he struck back, kicking out a foot to hit the man in the groin.
“Just shoot him!” someone yelled.
Finally, the one thing Luka had been hoping for. He couldn’t take them all, he knew that before coming here, but if he wanted those he loved safe, he had to give himself to the Albanians…and he wouldn’t go down without a fight.
Hidden Monsters (Volkov Bratva Book 4) Page 30
