“Yes.” Easier than losing him? Without question.
She set her glass down and shifted in her seat to look at him. “How?”
“He’s still here. If I say something and lose him because of it, I won’t even have the watching.” He was saying too much, but it was easy with Emily. She studied him with curiosity and compassion instead of judgment. “It’s not a flash-in-the-pan lust thing. I want him to be happy.”
“I can tell.” She turned her head away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, hiding her face with her hand.
He didn’t know what else to say, and without her prompting, silence settled between them again. The clink of forks and knives on porcelain combined with quiet chatter around them, to take the place of conversation. Where was Justin? Or did Antonio need him gone a moment longer, to compose himself? No. The confession, even without a resolution, made him feel a bit lighter.
“Have you thought about...” Emily looked at him again, then shook her head. “Never mind.”
“You do realize you can’t lead with that and not finish the thought?” He should let her drop the topic. Why was he pushing her?
“Nothing. Rather, that is...” She fiddled with the edge of her napkin. “Maybe a less direct approach to feel him out? Not that it’s any of my business.”
Justin would be back any minute, and this was a ridiculous conversation to have. It gave Antonio a new kind of twisted hope, and he didn’t want that. He resigned himself a long time ago to watching from afar and being content. “What do you mean? Pretend I’m dim and spell it out for me.”
She furrowed her brow and twisted her mouth. “As in sharing? To feel him out, I mean. You go to the bar together a lot, don’t you? Find a woman who’s interested in experimenting, someone neither of you is attached to, and kind of use her to see if he might be interested in more?” She ducked her head. “I’m babbling. Don’t listen to me. I can’t believe I said that to you. I—” She snapped her jaw shut. “Sorry. Can we pretend I never brought up any of that?”
Probably not. The suggestion was more enticing than he expected. Abstract images coalesced in his mind, and the woman who’s interested became Emily. Antonio pictured gliding his hands over her body. Kissing her, while Justin penetrated him from behind. The string of thoughts flowed over him, sparking his senses and stirring his cock. “I don’t think it would work.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to get stuck in a situation where I’m second guessing what gestures do or don’t mean.” Like Justin kissing him hard and heavy. Or Antonio fucking Emily while she wrapped her lips around Justin’s cock. Antonio swallowed a huge gulp of ice water, but it didn’t relieve the heat flooding him.
“Similar to being in love with your best friend and keeping your distance for years and never daring to ask if he feels the same, but instead analyzing every single move he makes and wondering if maybe, possibly, there could be something there?”
Damn her for vocalizing his thoughts. “A bit like that, yeah.”
“As I said, forget I brought it up.”
The discussion faded from existence again. He smiled at the waitress and thanked her when she brought their food, but otherwise, neither he nor Emily said anything. Antonio was grateful for the pause in conversation. It gave him a chance to force down his arousal.
A few minutes later, Justin returned.
“Everything all right?” Antonio asked.
Justin took his seat, looking between Antonio and Emily. “I wondered the same thing. Did I miss something?”
“Nothing.” Emily clipped off the word.
“Right.” Justin caught Antonio’s attention. “Mercy wants to know if we can deploy tomorrow morning. I told her no problem.”
“Sounds good to me.” Antonio was grateful for the shift in topics. Not that it swept Emily’s suggestion from his mind.
Justin turned to Emily. “Speaking of tomorrow. No pressure, you still have until Monday, but if you’re free this weekend, we’ve got work for you.”
She frowned and let out a soft sigh. “I have to say no.”
“Don’t answer right away if you’re not certain.” Antonio had expected she’d waver but not outright refuse.
“I don’t need more time. I can’t. I know it’s not technically a conflict of interest or a violation of my contract, but there are so many blurred lines. I don’t want it to become an issue.”
“Of course.” Justin’s tone went flat. “If you change your mind, we’ll be at my place tomorrow. Probably starting at eight.”
“Thanks, but no. I’m sure.” She turned her focus to her food and picked at the vegetables.
There goes that idea.
Chapter Fourteen
THE DOORBELL RANG, and Justin moved to answer. He was surprised to see Emily on his porch. He opened the door wider and made a show of looking around behind her. When he turned back to her, she pursed her lips, but it didn't hide the hint of a smile.
“Do I dare ask what that was about?” she asked.
“Yesterday you were so sure your answer was no, I was looking for hidden cameras.” If someone were to press him about where the playful mood came from, he'd be forced to admit he was happy to see her. Not only for the extra help she brought, but because it was her. Fortunately, no one was pressing. “What changed your mind?”
“I can't pass up the challenge.”
Which was exactly what he'd hoped for. He stepped aside. “We work in the kitchen. You can set up your laptop in there.”
“There’s a condition.” She stepped inside but didn’t go further.
A crack formed in his mood. “All right?”
“I can’t take any money for doing this.”
“Then what’s the point?”
She shrugged. “I asked myself that on repeat the entire drive over here. And last night, when I made the decision. I even dreamed about the answer. I guess, for personal reasons, the idea is fascinating. You’ve both sold me on how much it means to you to see this finished, and while it probably sounds odd to you, because we barely know each other, that matters. But I still can’t reconcile drawing a paycheck with it not being a conflict of interest.”
“If you do it for free, that makes it better?” Justin didn’t understand. He didn’t want her to back out, but making her work without getting paid hardly seemed fair.
“Not completely for free. You’ll promise me that, when this whole thing is done and the board has seen how brilliant it is and signed off, and I’m out from under the contractual obligations, you’ll find a way to make it up to me.”
He should accept her offer and leave it at that. Why wasn’t he? “That could be a long-term gamble.”
“I can’t explain my reasons any better than I have. Not because I’m trying to keep something from you, but I don’t know if I understand them myself. If you’d still like my help, leave it at that?”
“We’re working in the kitchen.” He couldn’t ask for a better explanation, when he didn’t completely understand his motivations. It wasn’t fair to ask her to own up to something he wasn’t willing to do the same with.
MANY HOURS LATER, AS the sun dipped behind the horizon, they had wrapped things up for the day. The deployment went smoothly, and Justin felt more confident about the PP project than he had in months.
“Help me understand why you’ve got this obsession with Batman.” Emily sat on one end of his sectional, feet tucked beneath her, looking as if she’d always been a part of the scenery.
Antonio lounged a few feet away, arm draped over the back of the couch. “He’s always been like that.”
“It’s not an obsession.” Justin sat in the chair across from them, enjoying the evening and the company, including the lighthearted ribbing. “I don’t understand the appeal of the guy. His super power is money. And being emo. I can do that.”
“You mean you don’t already?” Emily stuck out her tongue. “Or are you jealous because he has the emo bit down, and you’re sim
ply not any good at moping?”
“He’s really not. He’s all about the moving on and getting things done,” Antonio said.
Emily seemed to ponder this. “Batman gets things done. Is it the utility belt? The car?”
Justin had no idea how they ended up here, but it was a reminder of why he enjoyed her company the night they met. He could be himself tonight, and that was wonderful. “I’m not jealous. In real life, even Bruce Wayne would have to answer to investors. And seriously? Fuck that.”
“Okay, okay, okay.” Emily held up her hands. “Tangent. I heard the most ridiculous story Thursday afternoon.”
“Was it when you were riding him on the couch?” Antonio asked. “Because if he told you that was first time he’d done that there, it might be true.”
Pink dotted her cheeks, and she ducked her head. Entirely too alluring. “No, it— Wait. Really? Two leather couches, and you’ve never...?” She looked at Justin.
“Contrary to—I was going to say popular belief, but I don’t talk to a lot of people about my sex life, so—your belief, I’m not some kind of manwhore. No, I never had sex in my office before two days ago.” Justin kept the teasing in his voice.
Antonio scooted forward in his seat. “Is this the tangent? Or was there more to the original statement?” he asked Emily.
Emily furrowed her brow, and then smiled. “Yes, there was more. He”—she nodded at Antonio—“told me you call the project Promiscuous Perks because you have a client who’s got a porn website, and it’s kind of a joke. Why do you really call it that?”
“He told you the truth. You haven’t figured out yet that Antonio is shit at lying?”
“I’m not— All right. I am.” Antonio grinned.
Emily fiddled with a loose strand of hair, watching her lap for a moment before she spoke. “Pardon my naiveté, but what kind of rewards program does a porn site use? And how did that partnership even happen?”
“Technically, their advertising firm is our client, but it’s the same kind of rewards as any other site.” It didn’t matter that they’d been working with Andrew for five years; Justin still had an urge to giggle like a child when it came to discussing sex and business. He didn’t have an issue with it, but the six-year-old inside liked the innuendo and implication. “Buy so many subscriptions, get one free. He’s more of a data-gathering spot for us though. We go back a long way with the owner, and he’s got a human knack for predicting the same things our engine does. He lets us test our algorithms against him.”
Emily raised her brows. “Wow. Selling sex has never sounded so dry. You buried the lede, though. You and he go way back? Who’s he? How far back?”
Though she helped them with the deployment today, she knew she was working on R&T servers—Mercy’s company. They never gave her Andrew’s information, because it wasn’t needed for what they were doing.
“Here’s a thirty-second history of us,” Antonio said. “We met in Brazil, while we were backpacking around South America. Another one of the guys we knew went on to found a tiny little startup called Smut Central.”
“In other words, when you say porn site, you mean a series of the largest in the world? And you know this guy? Did either of you star in one of his movies?” Emily’s eyes were wide, and the pink on her cheeks darker than before.
Antonio shook his head. “Now you disappoint. That’s the question everyone asks when they find out.”
“Together?” Emily tacked onto the end.
If Justin were drinking something, he’d have spit it out. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Antonio’s jaw drop. Did Emily really say that?
“We’d more or less gone our separate ways by the time he got things rolling, and we didn’t meet up with him again until years later. So no. Not separately and not together.” Justin’s impulse was to go with a vehement denial, but he bit that back. A tiny bit of his mind insisted it was to let Emily think the topic wasn’t a big deal.
Another bit of him argued, asking if that was the real reason he let her keep talking. If the fantasy was good, how would the reality be? Emily was obviously willing, and the atmosphere was laid back tonight. Would Antonio—
Justin shook away the question. Antonio might like both men and women, but that didn’t mean he was up for something like this. There were too many reasons it was a bad idea.
But why couldn’t Justin think of any?
“It’s probably a good thing he’d moved on before then,” Antonio said. “We were young and impulsive, and if he’d asked in the right way... Well, it might not look good to have that kind of footage floating out there on the internet.”
Justin’s mind tripped over the words and stumbled to catch up. A fast denial flew to his tongue, and he choked it down. This situation was getting surreal. Justin wasn’t sure he minded.
“You’re telling me, if this guy had said, be in my porn movie together, you might have agreed?” Emily’s eyes were bright, the green catching the overhead light and shimmering with mischief.
Knowing what he did about Emily, Justin could guess where this was going. “I might have. If the question was more like, be in my movie together with this attractive woman.” The moment the words were out, he hesitated. Was he pushing things too far?
Emily wore a tiny smirk, and Antonio looked more curious than anything. An excellent sign.
“The things they do in those videos don’t translate well to real life.” Despite the words, Antonio’s tone was light, rather than dismissive.
Emily rolled her eyes. “I know. It takes six hours to film a single blow job, and everything is posed for camera angles. Spoil sport.”
“Hear him out.” Heat raced over Justin’s skin, teasing with possibilities. He wasn’t ready for this to end yet.
“Thank you.” Antonio grinned. “I’m not talking about that. Sure, that destroys some of the fun of watching the movies, but the positions themselves don’t equate to enjoyable sex.”
“You know from personal experience?” Emily sounded amused.
“Yes. I consider myself a life student of physics and human anatomy.” Antonio gestured to the spot in front of him. “Stand up.”
Emily hesitated.
Antonio motioned again. “I promise—no biting, unless you beg.”
The words sent a fresh wave of memories tumbling through Justin’s head. Of undressing Emily a piece of clothing at a time, then leaving teeth marks on her shoulder. The images were tinged with flares of jealousy, intensifying them. That was weird. He didn’t have that kind of attachment to Emily, even if the sex was good.
She stood.
Antonio grasped her fingers. “This is a practical demonstration.” He pulled her toward him and patted his thigh. “You’ll need to be closer.”
Emily straddled his legs, and Antonio gripped her hips.
When did the two of them become so comfortable with each other? The question struck Justin. He nudged it aside, in favor of the now. Besides, he had an idea where this was going, and he wouldn’t spoil the fun by overthinking things.
Momentum.
“Perfect.” Gravel snaked into Antonio’s voice. “Here’s the issue with something like a porn threesome. You’ve got the woman in the middle, like-so. Hopefully enjoying herself as much as the man is.”
“She is.” Emily draped her arms over Antonio’s shoulders.
Fuck. This was too much, and they hadn’t moved past playing. Justin’s cock strained against his jeans, and his pulse screamed through his veins, insisting he become part of the scene. He stood and closed the distance between him and them, but didn’t make contact.
“Guy number two comes along and wants to join in the fun.” Antonio met his gaze and nodded. “Unless he’s hung like a yard stick, the angles don’t work.”
Justin pressed against Emily’s back for emphasis. She let out one of the whimpers that drove him wild and leaned into him, never letting go of Antonio. “See, that’s such a guy thing to assume,” she said.
“Ho
w do you figure?” Justin struggled to hang onto enough brain power to have this conversation. He wanted to slide his hands under her shirt and up her sides, to cup her breasts.
“I say threesome, and the two of you automatically gravitate toward penetration. Even in the implausible fantasy of internet videos, there are other ways to get off.”
“Enlighten us.” Justin brushed her hair off her neck, dragging his nails along her skin. He was having a hard time thinking about anything but how vivid Emily’s imagination could be.
Logic tried to point out that he and Antonio had never done something like this before. It had the potential to change everything between them. Justin argued with himself that no one was complaining, plus they shared the rest of their lives; there was no harm in letting this conversation go where it would.
Was there?
Chapter Fifteen
WHEN EMILY SEGUED INTO threesomes, Antonio was ready to shut things down and change the subject. Her question from lunch yesterday—have you considered sharing, to feel him out?—taunted him most of the night. That didn’t mean he wanted to risk anything by exploring the option.
Within a few sentences, however, it was clear Justin wasn’t balking. Rather, he was actively participating.
Now, with Emily’s warm weight in Antonio’s lap, and Justin close enough to touch, Antonio was harder than he ever remembered being. She had to feel that. The seam of his jeans pressed into his cock under her weight.
Logical reminders like don’t sleep with the contractor fell on deaf thoughts. It hadn’t stopped anyone yet, and with reality this near and vivid, Antonio’s daydreams suddenly felt two-dimensional.
Emily shifted against him, and he tightened his grip involuntarily, digging into her hips. She drew a finger along his collar. He knew without looking she was tracing the edges of his tattoo.
“What is it? And what was I saying?” she asked.
“It’s easier to show than tell.” He stripped off his T-shirt. He was tired of dancing around the will we, won’t we?
The Nerds and the CEO (The Nerd Love Equation, #5) Page 11
