A Fire That Burns
Kirsty-Anne Still
A Fire That Burns
KINDLE EDITION
Copyright © 2013 Kirsty-Anne Still
Cover design – Cover It Designs – Arijana Karčić
All rights reserved. Please keep this book in its complete original form with the exception of quotes used in reviews. No alteration of the contents is allowed. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means – electronic, mechanical, photographic (photocopying) recording, or otherwise – without prior permission in writing from the author.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
The night was all you had.
You ran into the night from all you had.
Found yourself a path upon the ground.
You ran into the night; you can't be found.
(Bastille – Laura Palmer)
Grandad Elliott.
You were, and always will be, my favourite teacher; my favourite influencer, and my favourite comedian.
I wish you were here to share this moment with.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Eight
Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty-One
Chapter Fifty-Two
Chapter Fifty-Three
Chapter Fifty-Four
Chapter Fifty-Five
Chapter Fifty-Six
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Chapter Fifty-Nine
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Chapter One
ANNIVERSARIES sucked. That was final in Tyler Armstrong’s mind and every time the specific ones came around he avoided them like the plague. Forcing himself to do almost a full day’s workout, he sweated out the memories and worked the hot throb that rushed into his muscles to avoid thinking too hard about the day that was bestowed upon him. He didn’t care if he felt his muscles begin bridging that point of being strained too much. He didn’t even care if they were bordering on snapping from being overworked. He would just carry on in a bid to erase his mind of any thought and his body of any feeling other than the strain of a heavy workout.
Today was his least favorite day - May 23rd. It might have been six years, but the bitter shreds of his heart still became evident on this one day. It happened throughout the year, but today caught him in a chokehold and forced him to cause bodily pain just to find survival.
All he needed to do was master the art of breathing, surviving, and he would call it a successful twenty-four hours.
He always noticed the looks he got as an effect. Everyone in this Godforsaken town knew his past, why he would do this to himself. He knew that six years didn’t take away from the pity in people’s looks when you lived, worked, and ate in a town with a population of no more than four hundred and fifty – give or take.
News travelled fast and remained gospel gossip for years to come. Even now, after six years, he was still apparently mortally scarred from the loss of the love of his life.
He knew he could just leave and start again, but he was a family man through and through. Even this town’s minimal population wouldn’t drive him away. He wanted to be close to home, close to his mom and dad, his sister. He didn’t want to leave what he loved most and worst of all, he didn’t want to leave the memories that burnt so vividly.
And, to some extent, he stayed here because it was the one place that allowed him to hold true the memory of Austin Pearson. The one woman he wanted a future with, still did want a future with, and would always want a future with. Yet she had disappeared in the middle of the night leaving only a letter to say she was sorry. He had no explanation, no guidance, no idea if she would return; just one apology. Had it not been for that he would have fought night and day to find whoever had stolen his heart away from him and bring her back to this tiny town. However, he knew the culprit of that crime and he just couldn’t stop loving her. Six years on and he still loved Austin as if she were with him daily. How could he hate her when he loved her with his heart and soul? It wasn’t a reaction he found you could just turn off.
And that was one of the hardest stigmas to live with.
He felt a hand grab his and he turned to be faced with his girlfriend of coming up on two years, Natasha Truman. His thoughts of Austin immediately vanquished. They had all gone to school together and she was quite literally the opposite of Austin and, for that reason, Austin’s arch nemesis. The two girls had never seen eye to eye, but when you lived in a small town, with not even a class full of other kids, you learn quickly to just get on with it.
He painted a smile on his face for his girlfriend and tried in vain to make it all okay, but it seemed that for once Natasha wasn’t letting him forget about today. He wasn’t going to be allowed to hide out in his own gym, or get away from his family’s sight at this rate.
He might have to stick it out and actually enjoy today.
Great!
“You don’t need the gym today, Baby,” Natasha told him, using a sweet voice and gave a tug of his arm to make him move from the doorway of the small gym.
Tyler tried to stamp the growl in him away, “Natasha,” he ground out and she let his hand go. “I do everything you want me to when you want to me to do it. Today I just want to go and workout.”
“You know what,” Natasha began, “Go.” She paused again and looked at him trying to get a reaction out of him with her off behavior. When it didn’t work, she pressed on in a vindictive tone, “But remember Austin left, Tyler. Six years ago she left and I was your support. I am now your fiancée and it’s about time you gave up this pathetic day of self-pity over a girl that was immature and didn’t know what she had while she had it. I’ve given you this date since we got together, but now I’m getting tired of it. She isn’t coming back and if she does she’ll know just how well you’ve moved on.”
“It’s not some competition you know that right?” Tyler argued back and hated how Natasha still seemed to put Aus
tin down even in her absence. “Sure I might do this to myself, sure I still miss her, but you make it sound like I should hate her.”
“Well you should!” Natasha replied and crossed her arms over her chest. “Do you think differently?”
Nodding, he pulled his gym bag onto his shoulder a little more and leaned towards his girlfriend. “Yeah, in fact, I do.” He began to talk to her coolly, not allowing her to win this, “She must have had some reason to leave back then, and one day I will find out why. Until then, give me this bit of peace okay?” he asked and saw the stubborn side to Natasha shine brightly. “Now stop with the jealous rant and let me work out,” he told her sternly, his voice calm and low.
Natasha sighed heavily and rolled her eyes, “Fine!” She gave in and reached up to kiss him on the lips. She realized how annoyed he was when he moved his face a little and she missed. “Have a good workout, Babe.” She pretended to be happy about this when really she was seething with the thought that her boyfriend was working out the memories of Austin Pearson all over again.
“I will when I finally get there,” he chided lightly and stood to full height. “Remember to go to my mom’s when you’re done at work.”
Natasha was rummaging for her car keys, “I remember. I won’t be there until late evening, possibly after eight.”
Frowning, Tyler just got on with it and allowed his girlfriend to do what she wanted to do. “Sounds good,” he lied, “See you later, Baby.” He leaned down and got another kiss and the pair went their separate ways.
The moment Tyler found the treadmill that overlooked the beach; he put his earphones on and set the speed and timer. Climbing on he prepared himself for a gruelling workout. One that everyone thought was him just pushing himself to the limit when in fact he was getting lost in memories and music that he and Austin had shared in their life together.
This was the one day he allowed himself to just revel in a past life.
Tomorrow – life would resume.
***
Later that day he knew he had pushed himself after reverting to weights when running just didn’t help him escape his troubled mind. He could feel his muscles screaming at him in protest with each step he took. He had reawakened the old football injury in his shoulder that always had a knack of bringing about past memories.
That stupid thought sent a pattern of flashbacks into his conscious mind as he remembered how Austin had been with him every step of the way since he gained the injury in high school. She had been with him at the hospital, through the surgeries to help fix the injury. She had been leading his recovery, even in the years after she had been the one to massage away the aches whenever they set in.
It might have killed his shot at a football scholarship, but it set his love and devotion in stone for Austin.
As he closed the session up for the day, he knew the routine. His mother would cook the meal and bring the family together, and he would appreciate having them together for once. He was even more appreciative for having another form of distraction today.
Arriving at his parent’s house, he pushed the key in and looked back at Austin’s family home, a constant reminder of the one woman his heart still yearned for. Shaking his head, he did the routine of unlocking the door and then pushed his way in. Today was about routine. Every year on this date it was about routine – the routine to survive.
He threw his key down and went to find out where his mom was. He wanted to get everything off of his chest and clear his mind before Natasha arrived later. He wanted to eat too much, possibly drink too much, and talk too much, about how he had it all in life apart from the right girl. Sure, he loved Natasha. She was attractive, charismatic, not your typical blonde, she was self-reliant, independent, career driven, but she was never going to be Austin. She was never going to be warm and affectionate, teasing and caring. She would always be the opposite of what he wanted.
She was his safe bet to evade memories.
Immediately he heard his mother trying to calm his little sister, Cassie, and she was obviously failing. He chuckled at that; he loved his sister’s hyper, excited moments. She might be getting older, but she sure didn’t act it to save her life. She was still the same breath of fresh air she was when she was four.
“You musta heard, Momma?” Tyler heard his baby sister ask excitedly as he entered his parents’ kitchen. “Austin’s back, Mom! She’s finally back!”
Tanya looked up as she came face to face with a bewildered Tyler as he stood completely frozen in the doorway to the kitchen. Her son obviously hadn’t heard until now.
Great, another reason to hate this damn anniversary!
Chapter Two
IT had been six years since she last made this trip. Six long, horribly lonely years since she left everything she held onto so dearly, and even after six years she still harbored exactly the same emotions she departed with.
She had assumed that if she ran, she might have found a release, an almost blissful escape from how her life had become.
She had been nineteen and in love – truly, madly and deeply in love. She was still in love, so much so that she could still remember how his arms around her felt and how his kisses electrified her skin. After all, you never forgot your first true love and for Austin Pearson, it was her one and only love. Sure she had given herself to one night stands and endured dates in the hope that one man would spark in her the butterfly effects again and make her understand that life-went-on.
She came to the realization that she felt nothing life enduring or fulfilling from any other man. Nothing she could claim made her abandon her memories and her losses.
Getting off of the plane, she immediately saw her brother as he stood stoic and yet nervous for her return home. She tried to calm her shaking hands as she took in the sweet scent of the area near the little town that she had grown up in. And she knew immediately that if there was one thing she knew about this decision, it was that Point Arena was still her comfort place and she knew it always would be.
There was no hello first, just a massive, body consuming hug as her brother’s well-built arms wrapped around her. He picked her up, bags and all, and spun her around. It didn’t take her long before he dragged her to his car, talking away like six years hadn’t passed by, and started the journey from the airport to his home.
For most of the way she was cast back six years to a time when she loved these journeys in and out of town. As Point Arena came into view she became quieter than usual and hoped her seat would just swallow her up.
Sitting in the car, Austin pondered the reasons why she was really back and Tom’s interrogation did nothing to help calm her. She brushed his questions aside with satisfying answers, but soon she found that she could no longer issue her brother the cold shoulder and monosyllable answers. He had willingly allowed her to stay with him, told her he understood and forgave her. He was the one that knew everything and was still happier than ever to see her. She had to let him in.
At the end of the day, Austin had already concluded that stepping back into her old hometown was one of two things: early retirement or liberation.
She was still left indecisive as to which one she swayed to more.
***
“Do you really want to do this to yourself?” Tom finally asked the question she had been dreading all day.
Austin gulped, here she was back in Point Arena and all she really wanted to know was how her parents were and how Tyler Armstrong – AKA the love of her life – was doing. Stupidly, she knew she was asking to see if he was still in this hellish predicament like her, or if he had he moved on from her disappearance.
Tom relented as his sister nodded. She had hardly spoken since being back and he knew just how hard it was for her to return and he knew that he would do anything to stick by her. “He’s the chief now, since old man Brandon left the post. He could’ve picked anyone, but he chose Tyler to be the one that took over the Point Arena PD,” he told her and he could see that she realized that he and Ty
ler were still close. “Man’s got job offers everywhere, but still won’t leave this little pokey town.”
“Is he with someone else?” Austin asked and immediately wished she hadn’t. She blurted out the words, realizing her mistake the moment she had said it, but this was one piece of information she needed to know.
Nodding, Tom looked towards the hallway as the doorbell rang and smiled at his sister. “Hang on to that thought,” Tom told her as he went for the door.
Sitting in the kitchen with her brother, she had felt her nerves die, but now they were completely resuscitated at the thought of who was at the door. Sitting up and on the edge of her stool, she listened to her brother trying to quickly get rid of whoever was at the door.
When that failed, she stood up and wondered if hiding was a good idea. Just as her feet began to carry her off to find somewhere to hide she stopped. She was too late.
She came face to face with her mother as she appeared in the doorway. She felt herself stop breathing, her heart ceasing its beating as her eyes met her mother’s. She stood and awaited her fate and as her mother’s gaze turned cold, she realized that she had broken this relationship beyond repair.
Her mother hated her.
“Hi,” Austin managed while standing awkwardly trying to decide what to do next. Then her mind screamed at her for repentance, for forgiveness, for acceptance. “I am sorry, Mom. I never meant to just disa-“
“I don’t want to hear it,” her mother cut her short, her hand coming up to wave off her apology. “I’m here to talk to my son,” she said hurtfully and turned to Tom handing him over a book on mechanics. “Your father told me to bring this to you for your car and I needed to come and talk to you, but I see you’re busy at the moment.”
“Mom,” Tom started feeling disappointed in his mother. “You’ve gotta let her in.”
“Austin made her choice six years ago. She needs to wait for everyone to be ready to accept her back. Especially me!” She looked to Austin and could see how devastated her daughter was, but she was a stubborn woman and her daughter’s disappearance had shocked her to the core. She couldn’t bring herself to reunite with her daughter. “You need to work for my trust, Austin. You cannot just walk back in and think it’s still here. You broke a family up, broke a man’s heart and you left without thinking anyone could help you for whatever Godforsaken reason drove you to leave in the middle of the night without explanation!” she yelled, seeing Austin flinch under the heaviness of her words.
A Fire That Burns Page 1
