by C. L. Ryder
Bethany’s hand crept into hers. “Remember when I beat you up?”
“Excuse me?” Jane laughed.
Bethany touched Jane’s jaw where she’d landed her introductory knockout punch. “If we’d never gone to that class together, we probably wouldn’t be here. We probably would never have met.”
“Maybe,” Jane agreed.
“You know I’m not going to go any easier on you, right? Just because we’re sleeping together.”
“You better not,” Jane laughed. “I’d never forgive you if you pulled a punch. Did I tell you what happened when you tagged me here and I went down?”
“No, what happened?”
Jane rubbed her jaw, recalling that spectacular bloom of white. “You made me see flowers.”
Bethany snorted. “Flowers? What do you mean?”
“You know how people say they see stars? Or how in those cartoons the little ducks float around their heads?”
“Yeah. And you saw flowers,” Bethany laughed. “Really?”
“Yeah, seriously. White flowers, blooming everywhere. Glowing petals.”
“That is something,” Bethany said. She was wondering why the vision of white flowers seemed so familiar, and then remembered the dream she’d had just a few days ago. Her mother… she had given her a bouquet of white roses in that dream. It seemed like such a long time ago.
“I’ll never forget that,” Jane said.
“You sure you shouldn’t have gone to the hospital?” Bethany teased. “I might’ve knocked something loose up there.”
Jane laughed. “Maybe you did.” She kissed her.
“I wish it weren’t Sunday,” Bethany sighed. “I wish we could just do this every day. Not have to worry about anything else.”
“Mm,” Jane agreed, distractedly. “Back into the office.” She stroked Bethany’s hair and then planted a soft kiss on her neck. “We’ll do this again.”
Bethany shifted her body so that she could look into Jane’s dark eyes. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s nothing,” Jane said. “We don’t have to talk about it.”
“It’s work related.”
“Yeah.” She squeezed Bethany’s hand.
“It’s okay. Tell me, if you want.”
Her concerns about the future of The Standard had been on her mind for some time now, but the last two weeks had been a catalyst that had sent her thoughts about it into overdrive.
The company had taken on a direction that didn’t quite fit with the spirit she’d first started it with, but Jane’s attitude had become complacent. Growth, the advisors had repeated into her ear. More profit. Go big, or go home. She’d become okay with huge corporate expansion, with going for huge profits, with seeing that little line on the graph rising. Hell, she was more than okay with it. Her fiery attitude towards reaching success had gotten her there, and at full throttle, it wasn’t easy to stop. She’d come to enjoy a kind of perverse thrill of being the biggest dog in town, of knowing that The Standard could beat all other competition.
She’d exchanged values for profits, but feelings of increasing emptiness had forced her to reexamine everything she’d done. It was why she’d made the controversial decision to separate from the head office and move back to San Diego. Now, she thought she knew what she needed to do next.
Jane took a long gulp of wine and mulled over her thoughts. Bethany waited patiently for her to speak.
“There’s an extremely difficult decision I need to make for the future of my company,” she said. “And I don’t know if it’s the right direction to take. Actually, it’s two-part problem. But they’re both intertwined, in a way. For a while now, the company has been traveling down a path of fantastic growth at the cost of our quality. The consumer doesn’t know, because most consumers don’t care. But I know, and it hasn’t been sitting right with me.”
“So… you’re getting shittier ingredients for cheaper?” Bethany asked.
“Close. I’ll spare you the details, but it’s something like that. Our CFO has been the one making the biggest case for it, and I admit that I’d been fine with it at first. But it’s come to the point where I know that the company I founded will cease to exist soon. The values I started it on will be gone. Poof.”
“I see.”
“What I want to do is extremely risky. It’d most likely be expensive, and no guarantee that it would even pay off in the end. But I’ve always trusted my gut instinct, and it’s never failed me. And my gut tells me this is what I need to do. I want to take a gigantic step back. Get rid of the corporate big wigs who I hired to be my advisors and key officers, and get the small guys running things again, just like how things were at the beginning. And then… I want to reach out to my competition. One place, in particular. The stuff they offer is on a different level, but they’re kind of a hidden gem that’ll soon be pushed out by our growth. I want to rescue them, and use their product in my shops. Back to a quality, unique experience. No more cheap shit.”
Bethany’s pulse raced, and she felt the anxiety creeping quietly on the horizon of her mind, but an overwhelming feeling of warmth and admiration for Jane eclipsed it. “That’s wonderful, Jane. I don’t think many in your position would do something like that.”
Jane smiled. “The only problem is putting the plan into action. There’s so much that’d need to go right. Not to mention, the owner of that place would have to agree to my terms.”
“Have you spoken to them?”
“No. I haven’t had a chance to. I haven’t even met them yet.” She sighed. “I’ve dealt with shark investors. I’ve sat in boardroom meetings that meant the life or death of my company. I’ve done it all since I was just a college student. But the thought of facing them, of coming in there and making my offer… it terrifies me, I don’t know why.”
“It’s possible they might not understand. Of course, they might not take it so easily,” Bethany said. “But you know, you have try. You’re trying to do the right thing. I’m proud of you for that.”
Jane squeezed her hand. “I want this to work out. It’d be like a new start. And I want you to continue being a part of my life. I see this as the beginning of a new chapter. I don’t want to walk alone anymore. I want you to be with me.”
“I feel the same way,” Bethany said softly, and she drew her hand around the back of Jane’s neck and pulled her into a deep kiss.
The anxious thoughts still pulsed deep in Bethany’s mind. She was taking a step into a new life chapter as well, but she knew it meant that she had to fully close the current one, and she didn’t know what would happen if she did. Jane was strong; Bethany had learned that. Her interior was as tough and steeled as her exterior. But speaking for herself… Her fiery passion was her defensive shield—an expertly practiced parry, bob and weave that protected a soft and fragile soul.
Thirteen
“Whoah, whoah, whoah.” Lyle stood up from his chair and paced around office. Jane had expected this reaction, she just had to be persistent. She sensed that this was something Lyle wanted deep down, he just had to be guided to it. He could be swayed.
“I know it’s a big request,” Jane started.
“Asking me to move my family down to San Diego was a big request, Jane. One I was happy to fulfill. Now you’re asking me to move back? And take over CFO? I already told you that I couldn’t handle a position like that. Way too much pressure. Way too much.”
“Stop selling yourself short, Lyle,” Jane said, her tone clipped. “Man up.”
Lyle stopped pacing and turned, his expression angry. “Don’t fuckin’ tell me to man up, Jane. I’m not selling myself short.”
“Well, I think you are,” Jane replied cooly. “I understand perfectly, Lyle. You’re comfortable with this position. It’s what you’ve been doing since we started this company—hell, before we started this company you were already a restaurant manager. You’ve never been one to push yourself too hard. You go just enough. Just enough. Well…” Jane stood up fr
om her chair and walked towards Lyle. “I know what you’re capable of. Are you telling me that you think you’ve gone your full potential? Be honest with me. Have you?”
Lyle looked away. “I couldn’t do it.”
“You’re more than capable. We both know that Paul Whedon hasn’t got shit on you. You just haven’t gotten there yet. I know you could do it, Lyle. Sure, it’d be hard. But I know that you’re the only one who is capable of helping me get this company back to where it should be. It’ll be you and me, just like it always should’ve been. And don’t tell me you don’t miss the Bay. I know you’d rather be living there than here.”
Lyle sighed, his posture relaxing. “Damnit, Jane.”
“Give it serious thought. I can’t do this without you, Lyle.”
“This is a major risk. Even if I don’t fuck up somehow. The company could tank over this. We’d be going into uncharted territory. At least with Paul there was some guarantee. He brought market research, real numbers…”
Jane waved her hand dismissively. “Fuck the numbers. We took a risk at the beginning with what we were offering. We had a quality and variety where so many others didn’t. We gotta take a risk. My gut tells me this will work.”
Lyle stuffed his hands into his pockets and released out a long breath. “I’ll think about it.”
“Okay. Thank you.” Jane patted him on the shoulder. It might take just a little more finessing, but otherwise she was now certain that Lyle would end up agreeing. “I’m going to LeFlorette’s today to try and finally meet with the owner.”
“What happens if they’re not interested?”
“It’d be a temporary setback. But I still plan to go ahead with what we discussed. Back to our roots.”
Jane spent the rest of the morning sitting in the office trying to go over what she’d say to the owner of LeFlorette’s Coffee Shop, but her brain turned out nothing. She paced around, repeating the old mantras of confidence she used to use before meeting with prospective investors, but found them unhelpful. Why was she so nervous about this? It wasn’t like the fate of everything hinged on them agreeing to her offer. It would upset her plans, yes, but they weren’t dependent on it.
No, of course it had nothing to do with the plans. It was something that had been absent all those times over the years where she’d coldly gone into her competitor’s shops and cafes. There’s only room for one to win in this game. That was her driving motto. Her eyes were set on success, and their failure meant nothing to her. It didn’t even make her pause. But now… Now her conscious was finally involved, and she felt like shit.
She looked at her watch. She was just dawdling now. After collecting her car keys off the desk, Jane headed out the door.
She parked the car out in front of the shop, and took a moment to check her hair and makeup in the mirror before heading to the entrance. The shop was quiet inside, with a few customers enjoying a cup of coffee or a sandwich. It seemed to be the typical scene for the place; every time she’d come it’d been like this. Not much traffic. Likely a far cry from its best years.
The front counter was empty, and her heart started to race as she rang the little silver bell that sat next to the register.
“Coming!”
It was Jackson’s voice from the back, and after a minute, he hurried out. Jane smiled at him. “Hi there,” she said pleasantly.
“Jane!” he called in his typically bubbly voice. “Lunch for the office again? It’s just me again, so it might be a few minutes for a large order…”
“Oh, no, actually,” she said. “No sandwiches today.” Though now that she was here and smelling them, she did really want one. “You’re alone? I missed the owner again, huh?”
“Oh my god. I’m sorry, how does this keep happening? She comes in in…” He glanced at the clock. “An hour.”
“Okay,” Jane said, both slightly relieved and disappointed. “I can come back.”
“Sure,” he said.
Jane turned around, and then paused. “Actually,” she said, fishing a silver business card holder out from her bag. “If you could give them my card. There’s a business proposition I’d like to make.”
Jackson gave Jane a confused look. “Business proposition?”
He took the card from her, read it, and looked up in shock.
“This is you?” he asked, his voice thin.
“Yeah. I’m the CEO of—”
Jackson looked at her, and she actually took a step back, her heart doing a flip in her chest. His friendly, bubbly expression had changed to one of complete and utter hatred. His glare pierced her like daggers.
“Yeah, I know who you are. Is that why you’ve been coming here? To steal our recipes? Isn’t shutting down a family business fucking enough?” His voice was low and intense, like he was doing everything in his power not to shout at her.
Jane kept her cool. She’d dealt with this before. “No. That’s not it at all. I first came here because I wanted to learn about the neighborhood from a business who’d been here for a long time. I kept coming back because I genuinely fell in love with the place.”
“So that’s what you do, huh?” He chuckled. “Come in and ask the veterans for advice, and then shut them down. You’re fucking garbage, you hear me? Fucking corporate filth.”
Jane chewed the inside of her lip. Jackson’s words stung. She was used to criticisms, used to taking it on the chin, but she was feeling extra raw about the topic and it hit her hard.
“Jackson, I’m sorry that The Standard is causing trouble for your business. It was never my direct intention to push you out of business, but that’s just how things work. But I want to try and make it right. I want to offer to help you guys. I want to keep what you’re doing here alive. Your recipes. Your techniques. The heart that’s here, I want to—”
“Fuck. You,” Jackson hissed. The customers in the store were starting to notice their argument, and were looking over. Jackson jabbed a finger at the door. “Get out.”
“Please,” Jane said. She couldn’t believe it, but she was actually on the verge of begging. She never begged. “Just…give the owner my card. I’ll come back again to see them.”
“Don’t fucking step foot in my store again,” Jackson said. “We don’t need your help. Now get out.”
Jane took a deep breath to say something more, and then stopped herself. She was fighting a losing battle. She turned and quietly left, the customer’s eyes trailing after her. The bells jingled as the door shut behind her.
She threw herself into the car and pulled away. Her hands were shaking.
I have to go back again, she thought. I can’t let that discourage me.
When she got back to The Standard, all Jane could manage to do was sit quietly in her office. An hour passed. Then two. She stared at her car keys, but couldn’t bring herself to go back. She’d expected that reaction, but she still hadn’t been prepared for it.
Fourteen
It was difficult for Bethany not to think about anything other than Jane that Monday afternoon as she went through her work prep routine. She was okay with it though. She would much rather be distracted by those thoughts than by the usual dread. She only wished that business were booming. Then everything would be perfect. She’d have love, she’d have stability, she’d feel complete.
But would she have love?
The thought occurred to her that if LeFlorette’s was still successful, she might not have opened her heart to Jane. She’d been selfish, in a way. Protected.
To imagine meeting Jane through the same circumstances, but have rejected her? To have rejected the attraction that had bloomed between them so quickly and easily? She’d already come close in reality. She imagined her and Jane sitting across from each other in that class, not speaking. Maybe Jane eventually would’ve stopped attending. Then, they’d never see each other again.
The thought hurt so much that tears started to well up in her eyes. She wiped them with the palm of her hand and pulled her car up to th
e front of the café and was surprised to see Jackson standing by the door. He had his arms crossed tightly over his chest, and when he looked up at the sound the car, Bethany could see right away that something off had happened.
“Hey, Jackson,” she said, getting out of the car. “What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Bethany,” he said. “I just stepped out for a minute. I just needed some air.” He chewed on his thumbnail, something that Bethany only saw him do when he was really stressed or angry, which was hardly ever.
