by S. H. Kolee
"No one will taste me except you. Fuck me except you," I whispered, my desire warring with the sickness of the situation. I could already feel how wet I was, so wet that I was dripping.
Jackson growled in approval as he buried his face between my thighs, lapping me up as if he was starving for the taste of me. The sensations were almost too exquisite to bear and I tried to shift my hips away, to escape that marauding tongue, but Jackson kept me firmly in place, working his mouth over my swollen clit to the point of pain. I cried out when I felt his tongue dart inside of me, licking me relentlessly, returning to my aching bud over and over again until I screamed, convulsing over and over again in a climax so violent it felt like an out-of-body experience.
Jackson continued suckling me through my release, and I pushed at his shoulders, trying to get him to release me.
"Jackson," I croaked, feeling spent. "I...I came."
Jackson looked at me, his eyes intent as he continued sucking on my clit. "Again," he muttered against me. "Again."
"Jackson, I can't-" I couldn't continue talking, feeling like I was going to explode from the sensations I was experiencing. Jackson's tongue on me felt almost painful, my bud sensitized even more by my climax. I was riding the edge of pleasure and pain, wanting to escape it as much as I wanted to revel in it. When I climaxed again, I felt like I was going to pass out, the convulsions so strong and powerful.
As I came down from my high, I saw Jackson unbuckling his belt and shoving his pants and boxer briefs down. His erection looked imposing, jutting out with the end glistening with pre-cum.
"I'm going to fuck you and come inside you, Emma. Lift up your legs."
I didn't even think to protest as I lifted my legs, not caring about the flare of triumph I saw in Jackson's eyes. There was no gentleness as Jackson slammed into me, his eyes glittering as he watched me cry out and bow my back. I felt pure pleasure ratcheting through me, my passage so slick that he slid in easily. He began to move in and out of me, holding my legs up so that he could sink himself deeply into me.
"That's right, sweetheart. Take me in. You feel so damn good."
"Jackson!" I cried out, not believing that I could feel the pressure mounting again. Even in our wildest lovemaking, Jackson had never made me come more than twice in a row. I didn't think it was possible.
"That's it, baby. Let go. Let go and let me take care of you. You're mine. You're mine to fuck."
"Yes, yes!" I sobbed, my head thrashing restlessly from side to side, unable to control my reactions.
"Say it!" Jackson sounded hoarse but there was a powerful intensity to his voice.
"I'm yours. I'm yours to fuck. Please, Jackson. Please fuck me!" I was mindless with pleasure, in that moment wanting Jackson to mark me as his.
Jackson gripped my buttocks, holding me in place as he pounded me mercilessly, his hard shaft battering my softness until I screamed out in ecstasy. I heard a shout as Jackson joined me, pumping his climax into me, my convulsions milking his shaft.
Jackson fell on top of me, still inside me, and the haze slowly lifted as I realized what we had done. I felt shame at our animalistic coupling. This wasn't love, this was dominance.
Jackson stilled my hips with his hands when I made a move to slide away from under him. He lifted his head, sweat running down his face and dampening his hair.
"No," he said in an implacable voice. "I'm staying inside of you. I need to make sure you keep every drop of me."
I shoved him hard, taking him by surprise as he fell back, his shaft sliding out of me.
"Are you crazy!?" I screamed, shaking with revulsion at the way we had fucked. I could feel his semen running down the inside of my thighs as I stood but I didn't care. I was just as angry with myself as I was at Jackson, but it was easier to direct all my rage at him. "I'm not a fucking animal and I don't belong to you!"
Jackson scrambled up as I pushed down my skirt, grabbing my purse and underwear from the floor.
"Wait, Emma," Jackson said, sounding panicked. "I'm sorry. I just-"
"I don't want to hear it," I hissed, looking at him as if I didn't recognize him. "For the last time, leave me alone! I don't know why you brought me to this sick fucking shrine to our relationship. Our relationship was shit and I want to forget it ever happened!"
Jackson's face was ashen as I hurled the poisoned words at him, wanting to wound him. He looked broken as he watched me leave but I didn't care as I slammed the door behind me.
Chapter Seventeen
I didn't return to work afterwards, too sickened by what had transpired between Jackson and me. I called Marie, letting her know I would be out for the rest of the day and to call me if anything urgent came up. I fervently wished it were Friday so that I could have the weekend to lick my wounds in private, but since it was only Wednesday, I was determined to rebuild myself so that I could go into work the next day with my head held high.
I immediately took a long hot shower when I got home, wanting to wash the scent of Jackson off me. I couldn't stop reliving what had happened between us, replaying it over and over again in my mind. I couldn't forget the way he looked at me. Not with love and tenderness, or even pure passion, but with triumph and arrogance. A hunter conquering his prey.
But I couldn't blame Jackson entirely for what had happened between us. I had been a willing participant, eager to demean myself and wallow in physical pleasure. I was finally able to admit to myself that I still loved him. Despite the infidelity, despite the way he had treated me since we had met again, I still loved him. That's why I had let him treat me like a plaything to be used and tossed away. It was pathetic, and sickened me most of all.
I erected a mask of composure the next day when I strode into work, determined not to let my personal life affect my work. When I first noticed the stares, I just shrugged them off, attributing it to paranoia. I was feeling vulnerable so I reasoned that this was why I felt like I was being watched.
Marie flushed when I greeted her as I walked into my office, and I started feeling a prickling in the back of my neck. Was there something I was missing? Was something happening at work that I was oblivious to?
I was powering up my laptop when Celeste rushed into my office, practically bursting at the seams.
"You sure know how to keep secrets!" she exclaimed, a wide grin spreading across her face.
"What are you talking about, Celeste?" I had little patience this morning, and I had to make an effort to keep the bite out of my voice.
"Jackson Reynard, of course!" she crowed. "Pictures of the two of you are all over the internet."
I swallowed, feeling sick to my stomach. "I haven't seen the pictures."
Celeste's smile disappeared as she saw me pale, sitting down in the chair across from my desk. "I...I thought this was a good thing. I mean, you're dating a movie star, aren't you?"
I shook my head, feeling anxiety bloom inside of me. I quickly searched Jackson Reynard on the internet and almost threw up when I saw the pictures that came up. Several photos of our encounter yesterday at the restaurant that would be hard to explain away stared back at me. They had captured Jackson holding my wrist, looking down at me with a fierce expression as I glared up at him. Worse were the pictures of him dragging me out of the restaurant with a murderous expression. Unfortunately, Drew appeared in the photos as well and the tabloids were speculating about a love triangle. My stomach dropped when I saw that they had connected the dots and pronounced me the mystery woman from before, the woman that had been photographed with Jackson at Eleven Madison Park.
But the most sickening part was the claim that I was apparently a home wrecker and had caused Jackson Reynard and Candace Stile to break up. Since they had linked me to the picture with Jackson taken before Candace and Jackson's reported breakup, it was assumed that Jackson had been cheating on Candace with me.
My hand shook on the mouse as I scrolled through the accusatory articles until I finally had to close the browser, not able to take anymore.
"Are you okay?" Celeste said softly, all her earlier glee gone.
I shook my head, feeling defeated and bleak. "They have it all wrong. Jackson and I...it's not like that. And he told me that he wasn't dating Candace."
"So you are involved?" Celeste asked cautiously.
"No!" I exclaimed, but I didn't want to explain. As much as I liked Celeste, I was paranoid that even more details about Jackson and me would be leaked. "I-I can't talk about it, Celeste. I have to figure out how to handle this. I just hope to God that this doesn't affect my job. It can't be good for Forrester's image to have one of their employees splashed across the gossip pages. Especially since Drew has been dragged into this." I hesitated before continuing. "Is Drew in yet?"
"No, he's traveling for the rest of the week. He won't be back until Monday." Celeste looked like she wanted to barrage me with questions, but for once she restrained herself. It was probably due to me looking like I was going to faint.
I breathed in deeply, trying to erect a facade of calmness. "This is all just silly gossip. I don't know why I'm getting all worked up about it. Jackson is just an old friend and we were catching up. The pictures just seem misleading." I smiled at Celeste. "I have a ton of work to get through. Can we catch up later?"
Celeste nodded uncertainly as she rose and left my office. I followed her to talk to Marie.
"Please hold all my calls," I said brightly as Marie just stared at me. "I have a mountain of things to go through since I left early yesterday."
Marie just nodded and I stepped back into my office, closing the door softly behind me. I sat heavily in my chair, resting my elbows on my desk and leaning my forehead against my clasped hands. I stayed in that position for a while as my mind raced, wondering what, if anything, I should do.
I jumped when I heard my cell phone ring and saw that it was Trisha. We had talked regularly these past few months, but I hadn't told her anything about Jackson. It was too complicated to explain, and I was embarrassed by my weakness of giving in to him. I was sure she had seen the pictures and I figured I would have to explain it to her sooner or later, so I reluctantly answered her call.
"Hello?"
"Emma! What the hell is going on? There are pictures of you and Jackson everywhere!"
I breathed in deeply, steeling myself for her disapproval. "It's been harder to avoid him than I thought. We've...met a couple of times."
"What does that mean?" Trisha asked, sounding concerned. "Are you involved with him again?"
"It's not like that. We're not dating or anything."
"So what are you doing?" Trisha's voice turned cautious. "Have you slept with him?"
My silence was answer enough and I heard the worry in Trisha's voice when she spoke again.
"Emma, don't you think it's dangerous for you to get involved in any manner with Jackson? He broke your heart before, but now he has the ability to embarrass you in front of the whole world. Is it true that he cheated on Candace Stile with you?"
"No," I said but with little conviction. Even though Jackson had told me he was never involved with Candace, I didn't know whether to believe him. After all, he had cheated before. "He told me that they never dated. I'm not looking for a relationship with Jackson again. It was just a moment of weakness."
"Do you still love him, Emma?" Trisha sounded sad, as if she already knew the answer. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, the stress of the past few days coupled with the realization that I still loved Jackson being too much to handle.
"That doesn't matter," I replied brokenly, not wanting to admit it out loud, even though my lack of an answer made it clear. "I'm staying away from Jackson. I'm hoping this all dies down once people realize Jackson and I aren't together."
"Do you want me to come up? There are still a lot of shoes in New York with my name on it. It'll give me an excuse to spend money."
I forced a laugh, making my voice sound lighter. "It's okay, Trisha. Really. I'm just going to pretend like this never happened until everyone forgets about it." But I knew that I would never forget.
I ended the call, promising to call Trisha if I needed to talk. I sighed when my mother called me almost as soon as I disconnected with Trisha, demanding an explanation. Instead of being appalled, she seemed almost excited by my association with Jackson, conveniently forgetting that I had once been destroyed by the demise of our relationship.
I kept the door to my office closed for the rest of the day. I tried to get as much work done as possible, forcing myself to stay away from the internet. Thankfully, Marie held all my calls as requested and I heard her outside my door telling people that I was at a meeting when they tried to stop by.
It was well past lunchtime when I saw my cell phone light up. I had already gotten quite a few calls that I hadn't answered. Some were people I had lost contact with ages ago and I wasn't about to humor their questions. Others had been numbers I hadn't recognized. When I listened to the voicemail of one of the unrecognizable numbers, I cringed at the reporter asking for a comment. I couldn't believe that this was actually considered newsworthy, never mind that they had been able to get my unlisted cell phone number. After that, I didn't listen to any of the messages and put my ringer on silent.
But now Jackson's name was flashing across the screen of my phone and I debated whether to answer it. What a fatalistic sigh, I answered it right before it went to voicemail, knowing that Jackson could be relentless.
"Hello?"
"Emma, I'm so sorry." Jackson sounded tense and angry. "My publicist has been calling me but I haven't been answering so I didn't realize until just now the crap that's been happening. Are you okay?"
"It's not exactly fun having my pictures posted everywhere, especially when I'm being pegged as the other woman."
Jackson sighed heavily. "I'm so sick of this shit. The last thing I wanted to do was to drag you into this. I wasn't thinking. I was just so damn angry that all I could think about was getting you alone." Jackson was silent for a moment before continuing. "I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday. I seem to lose control around you."
"Let's just try to forget this ever happened," I said, feeling sad and tired. "It'll go away on its own eventually."
"Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen." Jackson took a deep breath. "Marcie, my publicist, told me that Candace is planning on playing the jilted girlfriend. Her people contacted Marcie, trying to get me to play along, thinking that I'd welcome any publicity since our movie just came out, but Marcie knew to refuse. Candace is trying to cross over into the music industry and she's debuting her single in a matter of days. They're going to milk this publicity for all its worth. But I swear Emma, we were never together."
It took a moment for Jackson's words to sink in, horror growing at the realization that this was far from over. "But I thought she was your friend! How could she do that to you? Hasn't she admitted before to the press that you two aren't dating?"
Jackson laughed humorlessly. "The word friend can be a loose term in Hollywood. I'm only her friend when it's convenient for her. She's going to claim we kept our relationship a secret so that we didn't have to deal with the paparazzi. A cheating boyfriend garners much more sympathy, which they're hoping translates into record sales."
"What am I going to do?" I said, panic making my voice sharp. "Everyone is going to think I'm some slut that stole you away from Candace."
"Marcie has an idea to diffuse the situation," Jackson said slowly. "It might sound a little crazy but just hear me out. Candace and her people are banking on me denying that we ever dated and that she's making the whole story up. They think it'll make Candace look even more sympathetic when I won't acknowledge our relationship. But Marcie thinks we can turn this story around. I told her about us, that we had been in a relationship a long time ago. She thinks we should play that up, that we should pretend we're reconnecting. She thinks people will eat up the story that I've fallen in love again with the girl I lost before I got famous and will excuse any
indiscretions that may have happened along the way."
"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," I spat out, almost choking on my words. "It'll just make it into a bigger story. The last thing I want is my personal life splashed on the pages of some trashy tabloid."
"I wish the story would just go away for your sake, but you don't know how ruthless people in this industry can be. They'll do anything to promote themselves, even if it means dragging innocent people into the mess. I don't think you understand how out of control this can get. At least if we're proactive, we can try and keep it confined."
"I don't know, Jackson," I whispered. "I just don't know. I'd rather just ignore it all."
"Just think about it," Jackson said, his voice low and soothing. "We would just have to pretend for a little bit, until Candace realizes I'm not going to give in."
"I'll think about it. I have to go now. This is starting to interfere with my work."
I tried to concentrate on marketing reports after I hung up with Jackson, but my mind was in a state of chaos. I called myself a coward when I saw Drew's number pop up on my cell phone and ignored it. I managed to get some work done but finally surrendered at seven o'clock, knowing that I was just torturing myself by staring blankly at ad campaign results.
I had been camped out in my office all day, ordering in lunch and thanking God that I didn't have any meetings today. There were still plenty of people working when I stepped out of my office and I was painfully aware of all the heads swiveling towards me.
"Marie, I'm leaving for the day. I'll see you tomorrow."
Marie nodded sympathetically, already having given me a stack of messages earlier, most of which had nothing to do with work. The most nerve-wracking ones were the messages from reporters, clamoring for an interview. It seemed that the details of my life had been ripped open, including where I worked.
