by S. H. Kolee
"Shit." Jackson grabbed my hips, stilling them. "Don't move or I'm going to come."
I disregarded his words, pushing my hips forward and back slowly, his erection sliding in and out of my anus. I tried to relax completely, wanting Jackson to have me in this way, as no other man had. It was erotic and thrilling to have him inside my dark place, to feel as though we were doing something forbidden. "I want you to come, Jackson. Come in my ass."
Jackson made a strangled sound as he lost control, thrusting into me, increasing the tempo as my body became acclimated. I could hear the slapping sounds of contact every time he hammered into me, his fingers rubbing my clit feverishly. The pressure mounted to an almost intolerable point and I screamed as I came, panting wildly as my lower body rippled. Jackson shouted as he rammed into me for the last time, his shaft convulsing as he shot into me.
I collapsed onto the bed on my stomach and I felt Jackson slip out of me and fall next to me. He gathered me close, brushing my hair out of my face and looking concerned.
"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
I shook my head, leaning over to kiss him gently. "No, it felt good. I never even knew I wanted to do that, but I seem to want to do everything with you."
Jackson's eyes glimmered with intensity. "I feel the same way about you. I've never done that before with anyone. I've never wanted to. But I can't get enough of you. I want every part of you." He paused before continuing. "I love you, Emma. I've never stopped loving you."
I caressed his cheek, the stubble raspy against my fingertips. "I love you too, Jackson. I've always loved you." I kissed him gently. "I'll always love you."
Jackson groaned as he gathered me close. We stayed silently intertwined for hours, not wanting to say anything that would break the spell of our confessions.
Chapter Eighteen
The next morning was bright and beautiful, made even more wonderful by the fact that I woke up next to Jackson. He was still asleep, breathing softly, and I took the chance to drink him in, resisting the urge to touch him. Jackson had looked like he hadn't slept in a while, and I wanted him to get as much rest as possible.
I gently lifted Jackson's arm that was wrapped around my waist, intending to ease out as quietly as possible. I froze when I heard him make a sound, glancing over quickly at his face, but he was still sleeping peacefully. I resumed the removal of his arm so I could get up when I heard him make a noise again, almost a hum.
"Jackson," I whispered cautiously. "Are you awake?"
Jackson hummed in response and I couldn't suppress a small giggle, thinking he was dreaming yet responding to me at the same time. I was wondering what he was dreaming about when his eyes suddenly fluttered open, a wide grin stretching across his face.
"Laughing at me, are we?" He reached over with an evil cackle, wiggling his fingers in anticipation of tickling me. I couldn't help shrieking before he even touched me, struggling to escape the iron band of his arm that had tightened around me.
"You were playing possum!" I exclaimed, the shrieks interspersed with laughter as he tickled me mercilessly. Jackson leaned over me, his eyes sparkling and looking so carefree, like the Jackson I used to know. He stopped his assault, smiling down at me as my laughter faded. My heart squeezed, knowing I was putting my heart in danger again. But I couldn't seem to care.
"That's what you get for trying to escape." Jackson gave me a quick kiss and rolled over, bounding out of bed. He pulled on his jeans and the sight of him bare chested with his jeans hanging from his hips was almost enough to make me salivate. He waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively. "I can see those dirty thoughts in your head, you know."
I burst out laughing, my happiness almost too much to bear. It felt so good to be able to laugh with Jackson, to not feel the burden of regret and betrayal. I was determined to hold onto that feeling.
"I need to take a shower and go to work," I said, sitting up and wrapping the sheet around me. "What are you doing today?"
"I have a couple of meetings, but most of it will be spent waiting around for you. Romero's tonight?"
I nodded, drinking in the sight of Jackson's carefree face, the shadows no longer weighing him down. "There's some coffee in the cupboard over the stove if you want to make some while I shower."
I sat in my bed for a few moments after Jackson left to make coffee, wanting to pinch myself to check if I was dreaming. It felt natural to settle back into our old routine of Jackson making coffee while I showered. So much for taking it slow. It was still yet to be seen if our newly revived relationship could survive the realities of present day.
I showered quickly, eager to join Jackson in the kitchen. As I was dressing, my hand hovered over my jewelry box. Before I could give it too much thought, I opened it and pulled out the diamond pendant, clasping it around my neck. I slid the pendant beneath my shirt, wanting to wear it, yet not quite ready for Jackson to see me with it.
"Mmm, the coffee smells good," I announced as I walked into the kitchen. "How come it always tastes so much better when someone else makes it?"
Jackson was leaning over the counter, a mug in his hand. He looked up when he heard me enter, an odd expression on his face.
"Aren't you supposed to be filling that instead of just staring at it?" I joked. I stilled when I realized which mug he was holding. It was the one with a picture of John Lennon's Imagine memorial on it, the one Jackson had given me long ago, the one that I had used every day at Mass Comm to drink my coffee, loving the feeling of being close to both Jackson and my father even when we were apart. The mug I had clutched like a lifeline when I had been fired, taking nothing except that and the picture of Jackson and me.
"You still have this," he said softly, watching me. "I thought you would have thrown away everything that reminded you of me."
I walked over to Jackson, wrapping my arms around his waist. "I meant it when I said leaving you was a mistake. I've always regretted it."
"Then why didn't you reach out to me?" Jackson asked, sounding pained. Anger flared inside of me at his words. As much as I loved Jackson, it was going to be hard to forgive his unfaithfulness, especially since he didn't seem to even remember the day Claire had told me about them. I would live with that memory forever. I didn't understand how Jackson could claim to love me, yet not realize how devastating it had been for him to cheat on me with Claire throughout our whole relationship. He seemed apologetic, but not to the degree that I would expect. However, I realized that if I was ever going to have a future with Jackson, I would have to get past it. Because I truly believed that he loved me. Maybe it had just become a habit with Claire that was hard to break. Even though a part of me was desperate to ask him questions about her, I wasn't sure if I could handle the answers.
"Jackson, you know why. Once I found about Claire...I couldn't bear it. I couldn't put myself out there again to be hurt."
"You said Claire told you about us. What exactly did she tell you? Why didn't you talk to me about it?"
"Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously, my pulse quickening with anger. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Once I got control of myself, I spoke again, proud that my voice was steady. "Jackson, if this is ever going to work between us, you have to stop mentioning Claire. I never want to hear her name again. I want to forget she ever existed."
Jackson nodded, realizing how serious I was. "Of course, sweetheart. It just kills me that we could've been together all these years."
I leaned up, balancing on the tips of my toes and kissing him softly. "Let's not have regrets. Let's just enjoy today."
Jackson's face softened as he gazed at me, brushing my hair from my face gently. "You're right. I'm just happy that we're together again."
After lingering over cups of coffee, we took the elevator down to the lobby as Jackson informed me that Craig was on duty with me until the furor had died down. I wanted to protest, but I knew it was futile from the look on his face that brooked no argument. I just sighed, wondering when
Jackson had become so autocratic.
There were still photographers outside as Craig shepherded us into the SUV, but their questions had changed.
"Emma, are you going to give Jackson another chance? Are you two together again?"
"What did you think about Jackson professing his love to you on national television?"
"Jackson, what are you going to do to win Emma back?"
"Did you spend the night, Jackson?"
I gulped at the last question, the thought of our sex life being public knowledge horrifying. Jackson turned around once I was in the car, closing it until it was just slightly ajar so they couldn't see me.
"Gentlemen, you're not helping my cause. The last thing Emma wants is cameras in her face. I know you're used to my publicist not taking your calls, but I'll instruct her to pass your questions on to me for my comments. But if I find out you've been harassing Emma, you'll get nothing."
He climbed into the backseat next to me, firmly shutting the door behind him. I noticed that the photographers were no longer crowded around the car.
"Will that actually work?" I asked skeptically.
"Maybe," Jackson answered with a shrug. "It's at least worth a try. I'm not known for commenting on anything about my personal life, so maybe this will appease them."
The drive to work was quick. Quicker than I wanted it to be, because I was loathe to leave Jackson's company. I was surprised when he followed me out of the car when we pulled up in front of my office building.
"I hope you don't think you're coming in with me," I said with a raised eyebrow. I had told Jackson about the warning I had received at work during the short drive, and the last thing I needed was Jackson Reynard, Hollywood heartthrob, disrupting my workplace.
"No, but Craig is going in with you, so I'm going to take a cab home. I don't want him leaving your side."
"I appreciate the concern, but Craig is not coming into work with me."
Jackson frowned, not looking pleased. "Emma, you don't know how relentless the paparazzi can be. You don't want to be taken off guard."
"I told you that my company has put in extra security," I said, exasperated. I flung a hand towards the front of the building. "See? There are no men lurking with cameras here. I'm fine. I don't need Craig waiting outside my building all day either. I'm sure he has better things to do than twiddle his thumbs."
Jackson scowled as he looked down at me. "I don't remember you being this stubborn."
"And I don't remember you being so bossy!" I countered.
Jackson breathed in slowly, as if he was trying to reign in his impatience. "Fine. Craig won't accompany you inside your office, but he's staying in front of your building."
"Jackson," I started to protest but he cut me off with a hard kiss.
"Don't argue with me, Emma," he said in a low voice after he had pulled back. "I'm willing to make concessions on anything except your safety."
I sighed, knowing that I was fighting a losing battle. Jackson looked intractable and it would be pointless to argue further. "Fine," I grumbled. "You get your way this time."
"Good girl." Jackson gave me a pleased smile. He leaned down again and I rose up, anticipating a kiss when Craig interrupted us.
"Mr. Reynard, you might want to move this somewhere private."
My head shot up and I groaned inwardly when I saw a crowd of people lingering around us. Some were watching us with avid interest, not trying to mask their stares. Others were trying to pretend they were otherwise occupied but I saw their glances sliding towards us.
I looked back at Jackson, about to roll my eyes at the crowd we had gathered, but gasped instead when Jackson looked intent on still kissing me.
"Jackson," I whispered urgently, my eyes widening. "Not here. We have an audience!"
Jackson gave me a half-smile as he leaned in closer. "Why not give them a show then? People need to see the truth to believe it."
I bit my lip, not sure if this was the right path to take, but my indecision disappeared when Jackson softly nipped my bottom lip, pulling it free from my teeth. He sucked on it softly before covering my mouth with his, kissing me openmouthed, grazing my lips gently and lovingly. My arms automatically wrapped around his neck as I leaned up into the kiss, forgetting about the crowd of people on the sidewalk. At this moment, the world only contained Jackson and me.
Reality set in as we broke apart and I flushed, aware of the voyeuristic stares as well as the dozens of camera phones that were pointed towards us.
"It's probably not a good idea to make out in public in front of my workplace," I said breathlessly.
Jackson smirked, looking very pleased with himself. "I'm planning on making out with you as much as possible, in public and in private. Get used to it."
He kissed me again quickly before I could respond. "I'll be here at six to pick you up for dinner. Be ready." He turned to speak to Craig who had been standing in front of us, blocking us as much as he could from the crowd. I wanted to rebel against his domineering attitude, but I decided it was wiser to get inside my office as quickly as possible.
As I made my way into the lobby of the building, I heard people approaching Jackson, asking for his autograph and picture, and he cheerfully complied. I wasn't feeling as upbeat as Jackson sounded. Now that we were giving our relationship another try, his appeasing ways had disappeared and he was being downright overbearing. Jackson was probably used to getting his way since the world seemed to cater to celebrities, and I wondered how I would handle this new side to him. He had always been a force to be reckoned with, even when we were younger, but now he seemed dictatorial at times.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I needed to concentrate on work today, not mull over Jackson's bossiness. He was taking up way too much of my thoughts lately.
"Good morning, Marie," I said on my way into my office. "Can you step into my office for a few moments? I have a lot of things I want to go over."
"Of course." Marie jumped up, grabbing a pad and pen, and followed me into my office. She took notes dutifully as I rattled off the things I needed for her to do today, relieved that I had such a capable assistant. I made sure to inform her to refuse all calls from the press.
"That's it for today, Marie. Unless there's anything you want to go over with me."
Marie hesitated, looking eager and cautious at the same time. "Do you mind if I ask you a question about Jackson Reynard?"
I was surprised that Marie broached the subject. Since I had started working for Forrester, she had been nothing but professional. While I loved Celeste, I was happy that my own assistant didn't insist on meddling in my personal life. However, Marie had been forced to deal with my personal life once the press started hounding me for comments. I thought it was only fair that she get to ask her question.
"Sure."
"Is it true that you and Jackson were together before he got famous? That he's been pining away for you this entire time?"
I cleared my throat, bemused that even dependable and even-keeled Marie would be interested in this soap opera. "It's true that Jackson and I had a relationship before he became famous. As for pining away for me, only he can answer that."
Marie looked like she wanted to ask more questions, but her professionalism got the better of her, so she just nodded and left my office although she was grinning from ear to ear. I guess Jackson had been right. Everyone loved a fairy tale.
I was spared a barrage of questions from Celeste until after lunch, when she stopped by my office. She closed the door behind me, looking like she was going to burst.
"You've been holding out on me," she said accusingly although her eyes were bright with excitement. "I saw Jackson's interview last night and I finally put two and two together. I can't believe I didn't realize that Jackson Reynard was the Jackson you were dating while you were at Mass Comm!"
I had been waiting for Celeste to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I smiled at her indulgently as she almost quivered with excite
ment. "It wasn't something I wanted to remember, Celeste. It was a hard breakup, and then when Jackson pushed his way back into my life, I was hoping I could extricate myself without anyone finding out about our past."
"And now?" Celeste asked, practically bouncing up and down in her seat opposite my desk.
"And now, things are a little different. Jackson and I are going to try and give our relationship another chance."
"I can't believe it!" Celeste squealed. She clasped her hands, looking at me dreamily. "Jackson Reynard. I'd leave my husband for one night with Jackson Reynard."
I snorted, shaking my head. "Don't think I haven't heard all your lovey dovey conversations with your husband. You forget I used to sit right next to you at Mass Comm."
"Okay," Celeste relented with a grin. "I wouldn't leave my husband, but I would still love one night with Jackson Reynard. He's so hot, plus he always looks so intense. I wouldn't mind some of that intensity directed towards me, especially between the sheets."
I burst out laughing at Celeste's outrageous comments, considering Jackson and I were dating again. Nevertheless, I didn't take offense. I reminded myself that people thought of Jackson as a public commodity, a celebrity to be discussed and picked apart. As much as it bothered me, it seemed to come with the territory.
I fielded the rest of Celeste's questions, trying to keep the details to a minimum. After she finally left my office, I was able to get back to work. I grimaced when my cell phone rang and I saw Trisha's name pop up. At this rate, I would never be able to leave work at six.
"Hi, Trisha," I said resignedly.
"Emma, everywhere I turn I see pictures of you and Jackson together. And now he's told everyone about the past and that he's trying to win you back. What's going on? You're not back together, are you?"
I knew Trisha wouldn't be happy with the news that Jackson and I were giving our relationship another shot. She had seen firsthand what the end of our relationship had done to me.
"We were kind of forced together by circumstance. Candace Stile was lying about being involved with Jackson. She just wanted the publicity before her debut as a singer. With all the ridiculous stories floating around about me, Jackson wanted to put an end to it. He and his publicist thought the best way was to tell the truth about our past. With a little stretching of the truth about his relationship with Candace. He didn't think anyone would believe him if he outright denied dating her."
