by Lyra Shanti
“You’ve finally come to understand the greatest gift of our abilities,” said a familiar red Sarax who approached Ayn with a gentle smile.
“What ability is that?” asked Ayn.
“The power to transform.”
Ayn nodded slowly, though he wasn’t sure he completely grasped what Raxas meant.
“I don’t just mean with our bodies,” Raxas continued. “We all have the power to transform, even if just in our thoughts, which in turn, changes us on a physical level as well. Everything is connected, especially within the energy of the universe. You see, Ayn, if we remember the pain, we must also remember the joy, for both sides exist as one in the makeup of life, and death. The afterlife is only a reflection of the physical world, and when our souls pass through that mirror, everything becomes clear. We remember our lives as moments of sorrow and happiness, and we then forget all over again when we spark to physical life. Everything transforms as it must in order to heal.”
Nodding, Ayn was able to process what Raxas was saying. However, he still didn’t fathom how to heal The Un.
“But… Raxas… how can I transform plasma itself? I’m just one man.”
“Ayn, you are powerful, and open more than most to the vibrations of the universe. Listen to the great river of life. It’s all around us, rippling and flooding through the surrounding plasma in waves of eternal sound and motion. At its core, the universe is music, and you are both the instrument and the musician. If you let yourself hear its intergalactic symphony, you’ll also hear its emotional cries of agony and bliss. We are all connected, Ayn. I know you feel it. You only need to accept the transformative powers you already possess.”
Ayn took a deep breath, and focused his heart and mind on the idea of transformation.
Emotions… colors… sounds… vibrations… music, thought Ayn, it’s all part of the same plasmic river.
Imagining himself in the heart of time itself, Ayn saw the infinite of the billions of stars and planets, and the deep ocean of light and energy that swirled around him, and all creation. He felt warmed by the light, but as he looked further into the truth of the waves of plasma, he saw darkness. It was the kind of darkness that has no space or dimensional matter, and it shocked his mind.
“I see the core of The Un!” he yelped. “It’s the darkest of dark. It’s nothingness! Osha is right! We are made of darkness!”
Raxas shook his head and helped Ayn to stand. “No,” look more closely. “It is not merely darkness. Look again.”
Ayn dared to see the nothingness inside the plasma once again, but this time, he realized that Raxas was right. The illusory void was more like a dense, unimaginably powerful force of creation. “Is this the core of plasma?” he asked.
“Yes,” said Raxas, “and the core of all that exists. That darkness is the heart of the light. Do you understand?”
“I think I’m beginning to, yes,” said Ayn. “Inside the joy, there is pain. I just need to transform the hurt into something good, something beautiful.”
“Yes,” said Raxas, “if you can realize that the depth is not a bad thing, then you will be able to love it, and make peace with yourself, and all that is around you. Healing comes when you accept the pain, rather than fight against it, for wailing at the universe is a pointless act. I learned that well in my last life, and I now understand that Creation only embraces depth.”
“I see the truth now,” said Ayn. “I think I always knew it, even when I was a child. I never thought it was possible to fix The Un, for it was never broken. It was only our perception of the universe that was skewed. It was never a paradox or something chaotic without meaning, for its duality is the essence of our own balance. Without duality, there is no push and pull – no dark and light. And like my own body, which ultimately gave me a deeper understanding of my soul, the tests and trials of duality brings the universe closer to its own depth, which helps it grow and learn, providing the balance it seeks. The truth is, to exist in the universe we live in, we must flow along with the raging river of time, not fight against it.”
Raxas nodded with pride.
Smiling, Ayn looked at Raxas and said, “I know what I have to do.”
He then closed his eyes and opened the palms of his hands. Once again, he let the pain of his loved ones surround him; their loss was his, their memories, his own. Then, he cried and breathed, and cried again. He soon felt himself lifting off the ground as the plasma inside his entire body pulsated with his emotions.
Almost overwhelmed by the agony of loss, Ayn saw his beloved Ona in his mind, and held her image firmly there while he opened his arms to The Un. Knowing her love would stay with him for all time, even after both of their physical deaths, he felt at peace.
Speaking directly to The Un in a gentle voice, he said, “I give to you my heart… my tears… my soul.”
Plasma intensified and swirled around his mind. He heard the cries of the universe, and then embraced it, holding it inside him as if it were his own beloved child. He wanted to comfort every soul in the world, but quickly remembered his true purpose: not to console, but to transform. “Acceptance is key,” he whispered. “I must accept the pain, then love the great river of darkness inside all life.”
Weeping without tears, Ayn raised his arms high and felt the plasma surging through his entire being. “I am the darkness inside the light!” he yelled, euphoric and almost crazed from the intensity.
The vibrations around him grew until there was a massive plasmic explosion, which then created a planetary aftershock. Everyone and everything on Ohr felt it. Even those on other planets sensed a pulling sensation, rendering them momentarily unconscious.
After what seemed like a few minutes, Ayn woke from his own black-out. He was now lying on Osha’s lap on the beach. She was still in her Ohrian form, and she was smiling as tears fell down her sweet, pale face.
“You brave boy,” she cooed as she petted his face.
“Where am I?” he asked wearily. Looking around, he saw that there wasn’t a soul on the beach. “This can’t be right,” he said. “Where is everyone?”
“You saved them, Ayn,” she softly spoke. “With your ability to heal, you did what I could not. I am amazed at you… and at your sacrifice.”
“Huh?” said Ayn as he sat up. “My sacrifice? What do you mean?”
“Ayn… don’t you know? This is the afterlife. You and I have passed to the other side.”
“What?!” shouted Ayn.
“What you did was extraordinary. I’ve never seen such power, but the plasma you took upon yourself was full of sickness, and you absorbed it into your body. I was able to help you at the last moments, but… I am old, and I couldn’t keep my physical form any longer. You, however, are still clinging to your body. You should let go, Ayn, and come with me to the stars. It’s time to rest, and then live again.”
“No!” he yelled. “I’ve got to find Ona. I have so much more to do!”
Osha shook her head. “Ayn… Ona will go on without you, as she must. She is queen now, and she will carry you with her forever.”
“But… what about Axis?!”
“He too will go on. He is young and full of energy. He will help the galaxy to understand this universe, and how to care for it. You needn’t worry. Both of us can now move on from our burdens. I am ready. Are you?”
Ayn slowly shook his head. He hadn’t planned on dying. He still had so much to live for.
As he looked up at the sky, which he now realized was just an imaginary world in his mind, he wondered if it really was his time to pass. If it was, he was glad he could fulfill his destiny the way Meddhi-Lan always believed he would.
“I’ve healed The Un with my love of Creation,” he said to the stars above. “What more can my destiny hold?”
Looking at the vastness of space, he felt at peace. He only wished he didn’t have to say goodbye to his beloved wife and to the future that could have been.
Chapter 22: Transcendence
Axis walked into the room, somber and a little afraid. He hadn’t been alone with his wife in what felt like eons, and now, she stood by the window of their bedroom looking even more beautiful than he remembered. Her silvery lavender hair glistened in the sunlight as she stared at the playground outside where her and Axis’ children played happily. They were blissfully unaware of the war that had occurred on Ohr only a few weeks prior, or that the entire galaxy was almost no more.
Srah had sensed her husband as he walked into the room. She waited a few moments, then gently smiled and said, “It’s wonderful, isn’t it? Children are so in the moment. They don’t care about the future - only the here and now.”
Axis wanted to rush forward and grovel at her feet for his absence, but he couldn’t find the strength or the words. “Srah…” he bashfully muttered.
She turned to him with tears forming in her lavender eyes and said, “Oh, Axis… tell me it’s really you. You’re truly here.”
Unable to hold himself back, he ran to her and threw his golden-colored arms around her.
"My Srah!" he exclaimed. "My beautiful wife! How I’ve missed you and our children!”
Looking up at her husband, she quietly cried and whispered, “Did you really miss us wherever you were?”
“Yes, of course!” he replied, followed by a kiss to her forehead. “I can’t even put into words how much I missed you all, and Sirin too… my true home. I didn’t know if I could even make it back here, Srah. I now realize that I never ever want to leave again. This is where I belong. Please, forgive me for how I acted before. I know I was a fool, but I feel as though I’ve aged twenty years since I traveled through time and space. I promise I will be wiser, and I will be a better husband and father. I swear it.”
She smiled and cried, burying her face in his chest, which was slightly exposed through his white blouse. They were both still in their royal regalia, since they had just finished a press conference where they mostly explained Sirin’s part in the battle at Tirlen Beach.
Axis had a tough time speaking about the details of where he’d been or what he did for the past six months, but he'd given an overall report as best he could.
It had been weeks since the battle on Ohr, but everyone was still in a daze, especially when it came to the mass healing that took place across the galaxy. People everywhere reported their Undaniasis had been cured, including those who had been recently brought back to life by the water Sarax known as Osha, though most of them had severe memory loss. Even General Pei, who had been badly poisoned, was now in perfect health and stationed on Deius with General Reese.
Srah didn't completely understand the mass healing either, but she handled the conference with ease as she was now quite used to giving press reports and speaking to her people.
She spoke about the great healing, and Osha, and how the Goddess’ offspring had gone back to the depth of the ocean where they belonged. It was relatively easy for her to talk to her people about such miraculous events, since they had been raised on stories of Sarax and Gods for thousands of years.
However, talking to them about the losses of the battle was harder. Axis had to take over for his emotional wife when it came to reporting about those who had fallen, such as Lod Zin's lover, Lady Raven, who had been given a lavish funeral a few days after the battle, and General Sterek, whom Sirin had just held a memorial for in the park. Fola had spoken at the memorial about her brave and brilliant twin brother, but it was apparent to all how broken she was about his death. It was hard for Axis and Srah to watch her speak, though they found it inspiring. Kuva was also there, helping her lover survive the pain.
The most emotionally difficult, however, was when Srah had spoken at the conference about King Ayn. She had barely been able to speak on the matter.
Now, in the privacy of their bedroom, she could finally let her feelings go. “I still can’t believe what has happened,” Srah softly whispered. “Do you still feel Ayn’s spirit with you?”
“I do,” replied Axis with a wince in his eye, “but his spirit and body are fighting somewhere in another dimension. I suppose most would call it the afterlife. I don’t know where he is exactly, Srah… but his physical body only hangs on by a thread.”
“I know,” she said, sniffing as she pulled away, wiping her eyes. “Ona told me that he’s been in a deep, unconscious sleep ever since the battle on Ohr. But… is he still alive, Axis? You would feel it if his spirit had passed on, wouldn’t you?”
Axis took a deep breath, not knowing how to answer her question. He hadn’t felt Ayn’s spirit on the physical plane since that huge explosion of plasma on Ohr. It had been described by every planet in the galaxy as “a historic event” and “an unexplainable phenomenon,” but Axis knew Ayn had done it. He also felt without a doubt that Ayn was fighting to remain with them, even if his body had taken too much damage to survive.
Axis sighed in pain, then looked at his children through the window. They seemed so happy, though just weeks before, he had seen them crying with joy and sadness combined when he finally came back home. Srah had said that they missed him terribly when he was gone. Though they had their mother, and Kren as well, who had become like a second father to them, they never stopped waiting for their father's return. Axis wanted to make up for lost time, but wasn’t sure if he could. Without Ayn, he felt half alive.
Sensing his torn feelings, Srah went behind her husband and lay her hands on his back. She rested her head on his shoulder and said, “No one could replace you, my love.”
Axis held her hands, then turned around to kiss her lips. After a passionate kiss, he yearned to make love to her like it was their last day on Sirin. Picking her up in his arms, he walked to the bed.
As they made love, both of them could only think of one thing: time is forever, and yet, short. Lying in each other’s arms, they realized what mattered most. For Srah, she vowed to end her affair with Kren, and come clean about it to both men. Axis too made a silent promise. He never wanted to leave her again, and he knew he’d have to change. He still wanted to search for his Sarax brethren who were perhaps in the Dru-Ahm galaxy, but he wasn’t willing to risk losing his family for it. If they want me, they know where I am, he thought. Until then, I am happy, and I am already with my true family.
“What are you thinking, my beloved soul-mate?” asked Srah.
“I’m just… grateful,” said Axis, “for everything I have.”
Srah nodded and smiled, feeling exactly the same.
--
Ona adjusted her eyes, snapping back to consciousness. It was the fourth time she had slipped into sleep. Even sitting up on the chair, she was so sleep-deprived, she was beginning to lose control.
I HAVE to stay awake, she told herself. I can’t rest until I figure out Sri Unda’s equations. I don’t care what Lius says, we missed something, and I will not stop until I find a way to heal his infected plasma! Besides, if Ayn wakes up, I have to be here.
Swiftly, she got up and put Sri Unda’s Book of Life and Death on the nearby table. Turning around to look back at her ailing husband as he lay motionless and pale on the bed, she stopped herself from bawling once again. No, I will be strong, she thought as she went to the nearby kitchen and poured herself another Teian Mountain Tea to stay awake. I will be as brave as he was on Ohr, and I will find a way to cure him!
“So unfair,” she muttered, beginning to break. She wanted to force the so-called Gods to explain why and how Ayn could heal the Plasma Sickness in the entire galaxy, but then, almost as a perverted punishment, they made him take the burden of the surrounding illness, pushing his own Undaniasis to the extreme.
“He’s on death’s door, you bastards!” she loudly whispered, sobbing as she slid down the kitchen cabinet.
“Ona?” said Lius as he peered over the kitchen counter. “Are you alright?”
“No,” she replied, monotone.
“Come now, my queen, let me or his father take over watching him. Meddhi, Amya, and Inda have all
been desperate to see him as it is, and you need rest.”
“No,” she said vehemently as she stood up. “He’s my responsibility! He’s my soul-mate! You can’t take him away from me!”
Realizing how sleep-deprived and temporarily delusional the woman in front of him was, Lius nodded and said, “I understand, Your Majesty, but you need to get at least a few hours, or you won’t be able to function when and if he wakes.”
“He will wake, Lius,” she snapped, “because I will find a cure!”
Marching back into the lab’s patient room, Ona grabbed up the ancient book and said, “Just because you’re too afraid to venture into the regenerative work Sri Unda did, doesn’t mean that I can’t do it!”
“Ona…” said Lius while shaking his head, “it’s not the regeneration techniques that I’ve had a problem with. I have utilized all her knowledge on that front, and that is how Amya’s soul now lives in your mother’s body. However, I refuse to delve into the mystic darkness Sri became obsessed with in her later years… after Adin died. She went mad with grief, Ona. It wasn’t a healthy place she went to when she used so-called magic to bring Adin back from death. It wasn’t natural. It isn’t right to tamper with the spirit-world, I should know. It was a mistake when I brought two people back from the afterlife, and it felt wrong. Sri Unda shouldn’t have gone there, and you shouldn’t either.”
“Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t do!” Ona yelled. For a moment, she worried Ayn would wake from her loudness, but she quickly remembered he hadn’t woken in weeks. He couldn’t hear her. He couldn’t hear anything wherever he was.
On the verge of tears again, she swallowed them back and said, “If you’re not going to help me, then get out.”
