The Sleigh Maker

by Candace Sams

  With that, she curtsied to the queen and slowly walked out of the throne room.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Pru entered the infirmary and found the door to Gavin’s room open. A white-clad Elf, serving as an orderly, smiled at her and left the area. That was when she noticed Gavin was awake. He was stripped to the waist. A blanket covered the lower half of his massive body. His upper torso was propped against some soft pillows. She noted he still wore the leather cord bearing her engagement ring around his neck. Even now, he hadn’t removed it.

  His color seemed normal now. The natural darkness of his skin made the appearance of all that muscle much more effective. For some reason, he’d always looked like he had a tan when everyone else at the Pole seemed to fade by comparison. She quietly moved forward and sat next to him. He turned his head when he heard her, and their gazes met. She wasn’t sure what, if anything, Mrs. Claus had told him.

  Deciding to carefully enter into a conversation concerning their former relationship, Pru sat on the edge of his bed and returned his steady stare.

  “You look a lot better.” She touched his forehead and the fever Mrs. Claus spoke of seemed to have abated. His skin was warm, but not overly so.

  Gavin shrugged. “I’ve been worse. There’s no reason why I can’t go home tomorrow. Or so the doctor says. I’ve explained everything that happened to Mrs. C. She understood.”

  Pru nodded. “What happened wasn’t your fault. Mrs. C knows that.” She then tossed her hair back with a flick of her head and smiled at him. “Anyhow…I’m glad you’re able to talk. You were a little incoherent this morning. Do you remember anything about our landing?”

  He shook his head. “No, but somebody told me I tried to fight everyone off. The doc wouldn’t tell me why.”

  She pushed back his hair with one hand and scooted closer to him. “I think one of the doctors tried to cut that cord from around your neck. You seemed agitated over losing it,” she tactfully informed him.

  He looked away, but his hand involuntarily went to the ring.

  When he refused to comment further, Pru took his hand in hers and took the opportunity to get to the point. “Gavin, if you’re up to it, we need to talk.”

  He stopped staring at a picture on the wall and put his full attention on her. “Christmas Eve is over. We’ve done what Mrs. C wanted. Why don’t we leave it at that?”

  He was trying to push her away, but it wasn’t going to work. She’d left him once. That was a mistake she meant to correct. “Gavin, why have you still got my ring? Why are you wearing it?”

  He let out a long breath and settled back against his pillows. “It reminds me of better times. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

  She sighed. “I remember when we were first engaged. Every day we spent together was so wonderful. Then, things seemed to go wrong for some reason. When was it? What happened to us?”

  Gavin closed his eyes. “It’s over, honey. Let it go.”

  She watched him lie there like a rock for some time, but refused to give up. “Gavin…I know about the stardust Aurora and Borealis used on you.” She saw a muscle clench in his jaw, but his eyes still remained closed. “I guess I was too hurt to listen back then. I did a good job of putting some distance between us so you couldn’t explain.” She half-smiled. “Not that you would. You were too busy being the gallant knight and defending two inane girls who did something they shouldn’t have.”

  He finally looked at her. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  “I do, Gavin. I just came from Queen Excelsior’s castle. She made those women fess up. I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone about the dust but I want your side. I want to know what you’re thinking.”

  “There is no side.” He turned away.

  “I’m not going to let this drop. In fact…I’ll pester you until I drive you crazy.”

  He sighed heavily and faced her again. “All right, Pru. Ask whatever you want to but it won’t change anything.”

  She blurted out what she knew. “You’ve been bolstering the rumors about sleeping with women all these years. You may have even started some of them so no one would suspect the Fairies of having used magic.” She shrugged. “It makes perfect sense. I mean, if you’re the womanizing bastard that some think, then Aurora and Borealis were just two more ladies of the night. There was nothing different about them than any other tryst you supposedly had, right?”

  For a long moment he simply stared at her. “What do you want from me?”

  “The truth about what you went through. All of it,” she insisted. “I didn’t want to hear it before but I’m ready to listen now.” She slowly shook her head. “Seven years is a long time to simmer. I think it’s time I turned the burner off, don’t you?”

  “All right. You want the truth? Here it is.” Using his hands as braces, he carefully maneuvered himself into a sitting position. “The truth is…I was that far from cheating on you,” he said as he held up one thumb and forefinger about an inch apart. “I should have instantly resisted that…that crazy dust those girls threw at me. But―and this is the real truth you don’t want to know and that Mrs. C and Excelsior hadn’t reckoned on―I liked it, Pru.” At her shocked look he continued. “Yeah, that’s right, baby. For about five or ten minutes right after that stuff landed on me, I had the ability to tell Aurora and Borealis to go to hell. I didn’t need to let them in my apartment but could’ve stopped it all on the street.”

  “Then, why did you let them come inside?”

  “Because I was tired of coming in second to your job. For a few weak moments, I wanted some damned body to give a crap about me. I was lonely and they…were there.”

  “You didn’t know I’d show up.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  Pru shook her head in denial. “Aurora and Borealis said that you’d already told them to leave; before I ever got there. They said you didn’t want to betray me and that you actually fought the effects of the dust where others wouldn’t have been able to. You didn’t sleep with them or even feel ‘em up for that matter.”

  “I damned well thought about it.”

  She put her arms over her chest and tried not to smile. “You’re so full of shit.”

  “What?” he gasped.

  “You had one weak moment where you looked at a couple of beautiful girls. Girls who altered your perception of reality through the use of some substance…and you think you’re some kind of terrible lech.”

  “I only wanted you, not them. I shouldn’t have even considered being with them.”

  “Are you even listening to yourself?” she asked. “You ran ‘em off. Even while you were under the influence of a powerful aphrodisiac.”

  “I came so close―”

  “You were hurt and angry. People think of doing a lot of things when they’re feeling those emotions, Gavin. Those who don’t act on their impulses aren’t cheaters. They’re just…human. Or, in your case, you’re half elemental and half sorcerer.” She couldn’t help grinning at him.

  He shook his head. “This isn’t funny. I lost you because of that night.”

  She heard the raw edge to his voice, but kept her voice soft to encourage him. “You lost me because I wouldn’t hear you out. I was wallowing in self-righteous indignation.” She sighed heavily. ”I put work ahead of us.”

  He took a very deep breath, exhaled, and gazed into her eyes. “When we were first engaged, everything was perfect. For those first months, everything in the world I ever wanted was right in front of me. We laughed, we loved…I thought we had it all.”

  “But?” she softly prompted. ”Go on, Gavin. Tell me what you’re thinking. I want to hear it.”

  “The harder you worked, the more you liked it. After a while, I was alone for days and weeks on end, and I began to feel like I never really meant anything to you.”

  She chewed on her lower lip before speaking. “I don’t remember things being that bad.”

  “I guess enough time has passed that yo
ur perspective has blurred. But there was one night when I finally coaxed you to drop a shift and come to my place for dinner. What happened that night…” he let his voice trail away and dropped his gaze.

  “Tell me,” she coaxed.

  “I’d cooked dinner for myself, put out some sweets for you, and lit some candles. I waited, but you never showed.” He shook his head and kept going.

  “I rang the toy factory looking for you. You picked up the phone, sounded angry, and told me that you’d be there when you could. After another half hour, you finally showed up. I don’t know what happened where you were working, but your attitude sucked. I tried to hug you and you shoved me away.” He paused only a moment before going on.

  “You went in the living room, dropped on the sofa, and pulled a blanket over yourself. I knew you were beat. I just told you, ‘Goodnight, I love you’. Do you remember what you said in return?” he soulfully asked.

  She shook her head, remembering only now just how many nights she’d been in such a foul mood.

  “You said, ‘I love you, too…sort of’, he finished.

  Pru gasped at the coldness of the last two words and couldn’t fathom why she’d uttered such a thing. Still, there was no doubt in her mind that she had. Her work had been the focal point of her life for those months. Anger at the ineptness of her subordinates always made her furious. Taking it out on Gavin was something she now remembered, but she’d never considered how it might have hurt him. Only now did her words truly sound as careless as he must have heard them.

  “I sat there watching you sleep for some time,” he told her. “The words ‘sort of’ kept sticking in my mind. It was like somebody had punched me in the gut and had given me no way to fight back. I finally just got up and walked around the block for the rest of the night,” he told her.

  “In the morning, I went back to the apartment and you were gone. You’d left a note telling me you wouldn’t be around for a few days. It was my birthday. I knew you’d forgotten but my pride wouldn’t let me call and remind you. I just blew it off until I was walking home from work a few days later and saw those women in the bakery.” He paused and put one palm to her cheek.

  “At the time, I was so hurt. Maybe I wanted to hurt you back. But the year we had together had ended in a kind of limbo. You’d walk in and I’d feel like a piece of furniture. Sometimes you’d speak to me…sometimes not,” he said, as he recalled those days. “Work was all you knew and I felt like you loved it more than me.” He shook his head. “There was no sense blaming you for what you are. You’re an Elf. You have to stay busy; it’s in your blood. But I never understood why you were the only Elf who ignored the person who loved you most.” He snorted. “God help me…I sound so pathetic. I’m no better than those insecure Fairies.”

  She saw a shimmer of tears in his eyes and knew he’d been deeply, deeply hurt by her actions. She’d accepted ten and twelve hour shifts, seven days a week during the last few months of their engagement. No one else had worked as hard as she, no one had spent every weekend at the toy factory, but no one had lost their fiancé, either. While she was determined to organize the unions and make a name for herself, Gavin had spent many nights alone. His recollection of her anger revolving around some work situation was accurate. She’d wanted to take out that frustration on someone. Gavin was the one who was always there to take the brunt of it. Even on their Christmas Eve ride together, she’d been insulting on many different levels.

  She was putting together an apology to last the ages when he spoke again.

  “You’d better leave,” he softly insisted. “I don’t think things have changed, so there’s no sense in us hurting each other all over again. We’re both older and set in our ways. That’d just make matters worse. So…let’s just say we part as friends and put it behind us.”

  That was the last thing she expected to hear. “Gavin―”

  “Baby…just go. You can’t be anything other than what you are, and I need someone there for me. We can’t reconcile our differences.” He reached up, undid the leather cord at his neck, and slid the engagement rig off it. “You take this back.” He handed her the tiny ring he’d once put on her finger. “Whatever I kept it for, the reason is gone now. We have to get on with our lives.”

  She took the ring and never felt so lost in her entire life. Her job was important, but coming home to nothing was so lonely. Why was it that she couldn’t have her work and Gavin, too?

  She now realized she wanted him back. With all her heart she wanted to be with him again, to feel his arms around her and to live the way they had those first months of their engagement. She quietly got up and walked to the door of his room. When she turned, he was looking at the wall again. She couldn’t see his expression, but his body seemed rigid and as stony as his attitude. How could she blame him? What was left? She’d done this; it was her fault.

  ****

  When she walked out of the room, Gavin grasped the cord on which the ring had hung for seven years. He bowed his head. Try as he might, he couldn’t keep from crying. He still loved her with every cell in his body. There was no one else he’d ever care for so deeply. But time would pass and he’d be back to the numb life he’d led for so many years. For the first time since he’d taken his first breath on Earth, he silently cursed Clarinda Claus and anything to do with the North Pole. He hated toys, he hated sleighs and red-suited men who asked so much of their employees that nothing else mattered. Not love, not family…nothing.

  For some odd reason, a strange memory popped into his brain.

  He illogically recalled the smile on little Punkin’s face when she’d caught him and Pru putting gifts under her tree.

  At least one thing his ex-fiancé and he had done together produced joy. Maybe, in the months to follow, he could remember that child’s happiness and replace his present bitterness with some less painful emotion. For now, all he had was a slow ache that took away reason.

  He wished Pru well, but there was nothing that could induce him to enjoy one more Christmas. This season of the year had lost its magic. He’d always remember losing her and know they could never live together without hurting each other.

  Gavin slowly exited the bed. Mechanically, he gathered the clothing that had been left for him, donned his cloak, and wrapped it around him tightly. Without telling anyone, he simply walked out the emergency door and into the icy winter day.

  Pru stood some distance away, shivering in the cold. Some instinct had made her stop, turn around, and stare at the infirmary door. That was when she saw him leave.

  Her heart knew him better than he would have ever suspected. Gavin was only giving up because he thought it was in her best interest. He’d always put himself second…her first. That was over.

  Sometimes people had to make a choice. Hers was simple. Either love came before anything or nothing else mattered. How could she supervise the making of any holiday toy or the delivery of any gift without knowing peace within herself? And how could she know peace without Gavin?

  He thought they were through and that there was no way for them to work this out. She slipped her ring back on her engagement finger and smiled. “You’re not getting away that easy, sleigh maker. This isn’t over.”

  From a distance, she followed Gavin. Her foremost concern was for his injury and that he shouldn’t have left the infirmary so soon. But after he arrived safe and sound at the barn, she made her way back to her small, temporary apartment over the toy- shop. There were plans to make, and Mrs. Claus could help.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Six days later, Gavin was as lonely and as hurt as he’d ever been. Mrs. Claus had come by to chastise him for leaving the infirmary before the doctors could release him, but he’d firmly refused to go back or let her prod him into talking about or to Pru.

  It was now New Year’s Eve; he’d sent a message to his family and wished them well. He told them he was taking a few days off to relax.

  When they’d arrived On Christmas day to
check on his injuries and general welfare, they’d had a nice long visit. He’d taken that opportunity to allay their fears as to his wound. Indeed, he’d made so little of the incident that they believed the affair was quite trivial. This was the impression he intended them to have. They’d left happy to believe he was fine and would be relaxing with friends.

  The truth was that he wasn’t with acquaintances as he’d told them and hadn’t been the entire week. Normally all the residents of the Pole would take off the time between Christmas and New Year’s; beginning their rigors again on the second day of January. He accepted no holiday visitors, refused to join in the revelry engaged by the other Pole citizens, and hadn’t put his mind to any of next year’s duties. All he wanted was to be left alone with his sad thoughts. He hadn’t heard from or about Pru but hadn’t expected to. Work ruled her soul to the extent that there was no place left for him or anyone else.

  He was so deeply immersed in his sadness that his normally astute senses didn’t pick up the squeak of the barn door or the reindeer’s accompanying snuffles of greeting. He finally turned away from the window when a loud bang sounded behind him making him jump. “What the―”

  “Hello, Gavin!”

  Before him stood the only women he’d ever loved and the one with whom he couldn’t find a way to live. He was alternately thrilled to see her, but immediately on his guard against feeling anything. In front of her was a huge trunk. Its presence barely registered. He simply turned away, trying to ignore the gorgeous little Elf and the way his heart ached for her.

  Pru put her hands on her hips and stared at him. His entire body was as rigid and straight as any iron column, but she meant to get past the body language that clearly relayed his misgivings.

  “Would you help me with this trunk? Some friends from work gave me a ride over in their sleigh, but it’s too heavy to carry any farther,” she said, speaking as if the day was like any other.