by Donna Alward
She only had to deal with one day at a time, she reminded herself. Besides, it was only acknowledging the desire. Despite the vibes running between her and Ethan lately, he wasn’t in the market for a wife. And she certainly wasn’t looking to step into a ready-made family.
She looked down at Ronan’s peaceful face and sighed. No matter how adorable they were.
CHAPTER 9
Ethan hadn’t tried to be quiet as he’d climbed the stairs, but when he re-entered Willow’s apartment, the sight that greeted him stole his breath.
Willow and Ronan were in her swinging chair, and they were sound asleep.
He took the moment to study her. The pink streak was nearly invisible in her hair, tucked back into a ponytail somewhere on the back of her head. The simple style kept the hair off her face and highlighted her delicate cheekbones and the sandy color of her lashes. Her lips were full, too, not too much, but soft-looking; the kind of lips a man wouldn’t mind kissing now and again. He’d nearly done that earlier this afternoon. There was no sense in pretending otherwise. They’d been alone in that stock room and she’d looked up at him and boom. There was no other way to describe the feeling than attraction. Normal red-blooded attraction, the type any sane man would feel when faced with someone as pretty and vibrant as Willow, right?
Now she was cuddled up with his youngest son, and the sight did something to his heart. There was no denying the vision of the two of them sleeping was precious and made him sentimental. But it also highlighted the fact that Ronan didn’t have a mother to hold him close after a boo-boo and reassure him he was all right. He had aunts and grandparents, but it wasn’t the same. Nothing and no one could take the place of a mother.
It would probably be better if he didn’t let his sons get too attached. As nice as Willow was, and a good person, he wasn’t in the market for a replacement. He couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to fall in love again. He’d done that once and had his heart shattered into a million pieces. How could he willingly go there again?
Not that what he felt for Willow was anything like his feelings for Lisa. Lately he’d just found himself thinking about it. Willow was the first woman he’d even come close to feeling any sort of attraction to, and he supposed it was just another stage of his grief coming to a close. Besides, attraction aside, they were too different.
Except that she wasn’t quite as “different” as he’d thought. He’d misjudged her in a lot of ways.
In the quiet of her apartment, he heard a sigh escape Ronan’s lips, and watched as his son shifted and snuggled more firmly into her embrace. Willow slept on, but her hand moved in response and settled on Ronan’s back, keeping him close and safe.
He couldn’t watch any longer. Instead he backed out of the apartment, shut the door quietly, and went back downstairs to the food bank. Perhaps he could still be of some good there while his son slept.
* * *
While there’d been a fair amount of hoopla surrounding the setup of the temporary food bank, the actual first day of operation was anti-climactic. Willow knew that was deliberate. Clients deserved privacy, and it was even more difficult to come by with the facility being housed right on Main Street rather than its former location.
As a result, they’d made a slight restructure on Friday afternoon. Those in need would enter through the front door, but now they could make their way through, select groceries according to their needs, and exit through the back. It helped with congestion to keep everything going one way, and Willow had very little to do. The administration was all left up to the volunteer coordinator and the food supervisor. She’d take a volunteer shift a couple of times a week, but other than that, she could now be hands-off.
She did set up a few things that she thought helped welcome the clients. For one, she put a plate of homemade cookies under a domed lid, so that the children who came with their parents could have a treat as they “shopped.” She also arranged to have a basket of fruit available for the same reason. By talking to her suppliers, about seventy-five percent of the food bank’s produce was organic. Stocking the fresh stuff would be her responsibility, on an “as available” basis.
Once she was sure everything was well in hand, she made her way back to The Purple Pig. It almost felt like a relief to be back in familiar territory, baking scones and brownies and wrapping up sandwiches.
There was no sign of Ethan all day, and she couldn’t help but be disappointed. Not that she particularly wanted to be; things with him were complicated at best. There was so much about her he didn’t know, and with his history, her additional baggage would have him running for the hills. Then there was her own troublesome reaction to their almost-kiss the other day. She’d wanted him. Wanted him in a way that she had no right to. She couldn’t stop thinking about it, and it made her both afraid and nervous. She longed to know what it was like to feel his lips against hers, but also wanted to avoid feeling too much.
“Damn therapy,” she muttered, slamming together a roasted peppers and gouda sandwich. Therapy had taught her that she needed to sit with her feelings and deal with them. But what if they were too overwhelming? Why on earth did she have to overthink everything?
Laurel came in at five, still dressed in her Ladybug Garden Center golf shirt and a pair of jeans. “Hey, good lookin’,” she called behind the counter.
“Hey yourself.” Willow perked up and smiled at the welcome distraction. “What’s shakin’?”
“Well, I came to ask a favor. I know you’re crazy busy, but I wondered if you’d come out to the Gallaghers’ with us tonight. They’re having one of their cookouts and I’d like you to come.”
Willow’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t be trying to set me up or something, would you?” She certainly didn’t need any help in that department. If it wasn’t Ethan she was thinking about, it was the kids. She’d fallen asleep with Ronan in her arms on Thursday, and it had been too sweet for words.
“Set you up? No.” Laurel’s cheeks flushed a bit. “Um … I just want you there, that’s all.”
There was something in Laurel’s expression that threw up a red flag. After their discussion the other morning, perhaps Aiden and Laurel were going to make some sort of an announcement. Willow swallowed against the lump in her throat, and wanted to ask the question. She refrained, though. If Laurel was expecting, she probably wanted to tell everyone all at once. And if that were the case, Willow wouldn’t spoil the surprise.
“I can’t possibly leave here until six thirty. I’ll have to ask Emily if she’ll close.”
“That would be perfect, Wil. Thank you.” She beamed again. “Hannah will be there. We can make it an unofficial girls’ night.”
It had been a long time since they’d done that. Summer was the busiest season for both Laurel and Willow. “Anything I can bring?”
Laurel shook her head. “Just yourself.” Then she nodded at Willow’s apron. “Maybe wear something cute.”
Willow smiled. “You don’t like my apron?”
“About as much as you like my golf shirt.” Laurel grinned. “You’re really going to come, right?”
There was a hopefulness in Laurel’s eyes that fueled Willow’s suspicion. Of course she’d be there. Laurel deserved all sorts of happiness after her troubles of the past few years. Marrying Aiden had just been the start of her wonderful new life.
“I promise.”
“Great. Now I’ve got to run. I need to go home and shower off the dirt before we head over.”
Willow rushed through the next few hours, doing as much prep as she could after bribing Em to stay by guaranteeing her an extra afternoon off the following week. By five-thirty she was in the shower, and by six she’d decided on a maxi dress of pink lotus flowers on an aqua blue background. She grabbed a sweater out of her closet for when the air cooled later in the evening, and headed for her car.
Most of the time she walked anywhere she needed to go in Darling, unless she was picking up supplies for the café, so he
r car was strictly a “point A to point B” vehicle. The Gallaghers lived too far to walk, so she put her purse on the seat and headed to the sprawling house with the wide lawns and boisterous family.
She wasn’t as intimidated this time. Because of Laurel, she now knew Aiden quite well, and Hannah was quickly becoming the older, pushier sister she’d never had, not to mention her new “truce” with Ethan and her fondness for the boys. That just left John and Moira, then Rory and the twin girls, Cait and Claire. All were friendly, and if what she suspected was true, everyone was going to be in a very good mood.
The yard was full of cars, and despite the order to not bring anything, Willow had a bottle of wine for the hosts. She went through to the backyard and found the most wonderful kind of bedlam. Food, laughter, running children, music … all indicators of a big happy family.
She kept behind the gate for a few moments, just watching. She’d never had this growing up. Never had it … ever. She’d never known her father and had been brought up by her mother, who’d worried far more about work than about her daughter. No brothers or sisters … and the moment she’d graduated, her mom had taken a transfer and she’d finally been totally abandoned, rather than just neglected. It didn’t matter to Josie Dunaway that her daughter had been close to breaking down, that she’d needed her mother. Once high school was over, Josie was gone. Like her duty had been fulfilled. It had always been that way; her mother’s career had come first.
It hadn’t mattered how hard Willow had tried. She knew that now. She’d stopped feeling like the failure in that relationship long ago. But she’d always longed for a family like this. Loud and loving and fun.
“Afraid to go in? We can be a little intimidating.”
A shiver ran down her spine at the sound of Ethan’s voice just behind her ear. “I didn’t hear you come up behind me.”
“Not much wonder. Rory’s got the music blasting and there are enough Gallaghers in there to deafen the pope.”
She laughed despite herself, and turned halfway around. “Oh my God. Did you just crack a joke?”
He shrugged, looking more relaxed than she ever remembered seeing him. “It’s been known to happen.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I think having some time off has been good for you. You look rested.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “I can’t imagine why. Those two boys in there run me ragged, and I’m ten times slower because of this.” He lifted his arm. There was a new drawing on the cast. It looked like a roughly drawn soccer ball.
She peered back inside the gate. “Actually, I was just watching your family. I was an only child. This sort of thing is way out of my depth. But you … you’re probably used to it.”
He came up beside her. “Yeah. It can be a pain, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” She felt his gaze on her profile. “Don’t you get together with your mom?”
She laughed. “Not really. I get happy birthday calls and a Christmas present and the odd update.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is. It’s why I value my friends so highly.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Do I count among those friends?”
She turned and met his gaze, and that slow, melty feeling started to come over her again. “Do you want to?”
“Hey, you made it!” Laurel bounced over, looking adorable in capris, a cute top, and a perky ponytail. Ethan didn’t have time to answer her question, and Willow let herself be pulled along into the backyard where all the action was happening. She was welcomed by Moira and John, who were sitting on patio swing, and she gave them the bottle of wine. Then she was greeted by Hannah, who disappeared to get another drink, and was set upon by Connor and Ronan, who nearly tripped over themselves to say hello.
“Boys! Slow down. Don’t knock Willow over.”
“Willow! I got a new soccer shirt! But Dad wouldn’t let me wear it. It’s green!”
“Green is my favorite color,” she stated, ruffling Connor’s hair. She knelt down in front of Ronan. “Hey, kiddo. How’s the toe?”
Solemn brown eyes looked into hers. “It turned black, Wil-low. Black.”
She raised her eyebrows, met his gaze with an equally serious expression, and said, “Cool.” She drew the word out impressively.
He stuck out his foot. “You wanna see it?”
“By all means.”
She tried not to laugh as he plopped down on the ground, pulled off his shoe and sock and stuck out his cute little foot. “Ooooh. Awesome.” It did, in fact, look a bit disgusting, but she figured the less fuss made, the better.
“Ronan, put your sock and shoe back on. Gross.” Ethan gave the order but half laughed as he said it. “All boy, that one,” he murmured, close to her ear. She shivered again.
“Both of them,” Willow observed. “Can’t imagine where they get that from.”
Laurel came over again. “Did you get a drink, Wil? I know you’re driving, but there’s lemonade.” Willow’s suspicions were further reinforced by seeing that Laurel was partaking of that particular choice.
“Lemonade sounds perfect.”
“I don’t think it’s made from organic lemons,” Ethan said.
A few weeks ago she would have been offended at that, but now she just rolled her eyes and made opening and closing motions with her fingers, as if to say, Blah, blah, blah.
He laughed. An honest-to-goodness, unable to stop himself choke of a laugh and she grinned like a fool. She hadn’t heard him laugh before. It was an amazing sound, rich and deep and … rusty, like the color of his hair.
Oh dear.
She went with Laurel for the drink. “What’s going on with you and Ethan?” Laurel asked. “And the boys, too. They came right to you. All this after one soccer practice and ice cream date?”
“Oh, that.” Willow dismissed the comment with a wave of her hand, though there was a knot of anxiety balled up in her stomach. “They all came and helped with the food bank on … Thursday, I guess. Even the boys helped stock the shelves. Ronan’s black toenail is courtesy of a can of tomatoes.”
Laurel poured a glass of lemonade, topped hers up, and faced Willow. “Sweetie, I haven’t seen you laugh with a man since I moved back here. And the way Aiden tells it, the last time you were here, you and Ethan didn’t exactly hit it off.”
“I’m freaky, remember?” She laughed lightly. “I’ll admit we got off to a rough start, but he’s nice enough now.”
“Is that all?” Laurel sounded disappointed. “You blushed when I mentioned ice cream the other day.”
“Yes, that’s all.” One hesitant moment in a dimly-lit room didn’t count for much on the romance scale. “He’s nowhere near over his wife, anyway.”
“I know.” Laurel’s face fell. “It’s just … I’m so happy. I want everyone in the world to be this happy.” A soft smile formed on her lips. “That sounds so sappy, I know…”
“It sounds lovely, and you deserve every bit.” Willow put her hand on Laurel’s arm. At that moment, Hannah came up to the two of them and started relaying a story about something that had happened during their week, and in typical Hannah fashion, she had them laughing in moments.
Willow ate way too much food to feel comfortable, laughed more than she could remember laughing in years, and with a red face, obligingly did her troll voice when Ronan demanded it. “Okay, that’s it,” she said, turning him around and sending him on his way. “Go ask your Aunt Hannah for more ice cream.”
Moira sat down beside her and handed her a cup of tea. “You’re good with them. You like children?”
The question sent a pang through her heart. “Yes,” she answered. “I do. When they’re that age, they have no bias, you know? The world is just an endless adventure. And hopefully, when they go to bed at night, someone they love is there to tuck them in and kiss them good night.”
She’d got carried away just then, and when she bashfully looked over at Moira, she saw understanding in the other woman’s eyes. “I know you
didn’t have a great home life,” Moira said softly. “I remember. But you turned out to be a really good person, Willow. Hannah talks about you all the time and you were so good to Laurel and Aiden. And now Ethan … well, he’s been more relaxed and easy tonight than I remember him being in months.”
“Oh, that has nothing to do with me,” she replied quickly, hoping she wasn’t blushing.
“Doesn’t it? He keeps looking at you.”
She couldn’t help it. She lifted her gaze and caught Ethan watching them. They both looked away, but not before Moira smiled.
“I don’t think either of you is in a hurry,” Moira said gently, taking a sip of her tea. “But I’ve been so worried about Ethan. He’s kept everything so bottled up inside. Even if you’re just friends … well, I’m grateful for that.”
Willow was touched. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything.” Moira smiled. “Just enjoy your tea.”
She did. She sipped at it and leaned back in her chair and soaked up what was left of the summer evening sun. Before long, everyone had mellowed and Willow watched as Aiden pulled Laurel onto his lap as he sat on the bench of the picnic table.
“So, uh … since everyone’s here, Laurel and I have an announcement.”
Claire and Cait had shown up partway through the food, and they squealed together, while Rory paused, his beer bottle halfway to his mouth.
Laurel’s eyes shone as she admitted, “We’re pregnant.”
A delighted cacophony of congratulations went up from the family.
“Well, now! That didn’t take long!” John Gallagher clapped his hands together. “More grandsons, Ma!”
Moira laughed. “This one might be a girl, you know.” She looked at Laurel. “How’re you feeling?”
Laurel’s cheeks were bright pink. “Well, tired. But it’s too early to feel much of anything else. I’m hoping I don’t get sick.”
Hannah winked at Laurel. “Hey, Willow, we get a sober driver for the next what, seven months?”
