by Tina Martin
“Whatever man. So are you coming or what?”
“Nah. I’m tired of clubbing at all hours of the night…meeting women, knowing I don’t want to pursue a relationship with them. It’s wearing me out and quite honestly, I’m focusing more on my future rather than partying and picking up women for fun. And you…you got a woman and you still out here trying to play the field, man.”
“Oh, now you wanna get all righteous on a brother.”
“I’m just sayin’…you got Jasmine and she’s a good girl. Why don’t you take the time to grow your relationship with her? All this clubbin’ is old, Tee.”
“Dude, Jasmine is so busy in the salon, she has no clue what I’m doing. So what if I holla a few females here and there…”
“Remember you said that when you calling me crying because Jasmine left you,” Carter said then chuckled a bit.
“Whatever dawg. Anyway, I guess I’ll have to chill at the crib since sidewalk chick got you on lock down.”
Carter let out a frustrating sigh and shook his head. “Ah’ight. Later.” He set his phone on the night stand. He jogged downstairs about fifteen minutes later to find Shayla stretched out on the expanse of the couch, her eyes closed, her breathing calm, her body still. He sat next to her, touched her face and watched her eyes open.
“You ready for bed?”
Shayla stared into his eyes. “I can sleep right here,” she whispered softly.
“Or, you can sleep upstairs in your bed. I don’t want you sleeping on the couch.”
“Why not? I’m not gonna mess it up.”
“I’m not implying that you are. I just want you to be comfortable, now come on.” Carter tugged on her arm.
“No…I wanna stay,” she said drowsy. “And I am comfortable. You go on to bed and leave me alone.”
“Shay, don’t make me take you upstairs because I will do it.”
“Carter,” she whimpered. “Why can’t I sleep here?”
“’Cause I don’t feel like sleeping on the floor tonight, baby, now come on.”
“You don’t have to sleep on the floor. Just go to your room. I’ll be aw’right.”
Carter squinted at her. He would have things his way no matter what she said. And since he didn’t want her to sleep on the couch, he decided to move her from it. “Okay, since you want to do this the hard way…” He effortlessly lifted her from the couch.
“Carter,” she squirmed. “Put me down.”
“I will once we get to your room,” he said, walking up the stairs, balancing her in his arms as she kicked like a child.
“Carter!”
“Shay, calm down. You act like I’m gonna drop you. You can’t be no more than a hundred and thirty pounds.” He lowered her feet to the floor upon stepping into her bedroom. Then he took the liberty of pulling the covers back on her bed.
“You gon’ tuck me in too?” Shayla quipped, climbing in bed and getting comfortable.
“That depends. Do you want daddy to tuck you in?” he asked with a wicked smile.
Shayla pulled up the covers. “Goodnight, Carter.”
He wished she would’ve let him tuck her in. Maybe he could stay a while and chat instead of going into his room – his large, lonely, quiet room. But she seemed to be tired and he didn’t want to deprive her of sleep. “Goodnight.”
Carter stepped in his room, peeled his shirt over his head and laid back on his bed. He picked up the remote, powered on the TV, trying to distract his mind from the evening he spent with Shayla, but he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He wanted to be close to her, to hold her as he did last night. He was feeling something for her, but what was it? A woman had never had his heart, and he wasn’t about to allow himself to be vulnerable now. Plus, how could he feel something for her – his brother’s girl? He would never betray Jacob. But still, he couldn’t deny his need to be close to her.
He sat up, looked around his room, feeling its emptiness. He’d never felt it before. But now that he cared for someone, he could feel how lonely his life had been before she came into the picture. He even replayed his conversation with Shayla at dinner, trying to recall the last time he had a full discussion with a woman. And Shayla’s evaluation of him was on point – he was empty, searching for meaning in his life, especially after losing family members and being estranged from family that were still alive – family whom he didn’t even know.
He rubbed his head, closed his eyes wanting to go back down the hall and lie next to her, hold her, comfort her, which would in turn comfort him, but he fought the urge. He sighed heavily, laid back down, powered off the TV and thought about Shayla’s smile at the restaurant, her mildness. Her humor. Being with her was becoming addictive.
Shayla closed her eyes, hoping if she kept them closed, her mind would rest. But even behind dark lids, she could not stop thinking about Carter – his kindness and generosity. She scanned her mind for visions of his smile, replaying their conversation over dinner. She wanted to be close to him, to feel his heartbeat again. That was sure to help her sleep, the same as it did last night. The same as it did when she laid on Jacob’s chest. She recalled the last time she felt Jacob’s heart rhythms the night before he ended his own life:
“Jacob.”
“Yeah, baby.”
“How do you feel about us?” she asked, then kissed his chest and rested her head on him again.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, is everything okay with us?” she asked, tracing his pecks with her index finger.
“Yeah. Why you ask?”
“I don’t know…just making sure we’re okay I guess.”
“We’re okay, baby. I don’t want you to worry about anything.” Jacob stroked her hair. “You know you’re my heart, don’t you?”
Shayla smiled. “I love you, Jacob.”
“Love you too, baby. If you know nothing else in this world, know that I love you more than anything. I love you with all my heart and will always love you, know matter what.”
“I will always love you, too,” Shayla said trying to hold back tears. “Always.”
* * *
An hour later, Carter sat up again, debating whether or not he should go to her room, using some excuse like he wanted to make sure she was okay. But he’d just carried her there an hour ago. He was sure she was okay. Still, he wanted to go. Maybe she needed him too, needed to feel his heart thumping against her, but with her shy nature, she wouldn’t have the guts to come out and say what she wanted. So instead of leaving space between them, Carter stood up, walked to his bedroom door, opened it and was surprised to see her standing there.
“Hey,” he said surprised. “I was just coming to check on you. Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Shayla said, taking a step closer to him and wrapping her arms tight around him, her head pressed against his bare chest. “It is now.”
Carter felt a flicker in his heart as he folded his arms around her.
“Do you mind if I stay?” she asked, steadily clenching him. Breathing him.
“I told you I didn’t mind,” Carter said, glad that Shayla made the effort to come to his room. It showed she was beginning to heal and starting to trust him.
Shayla let him go and walked over to the bed, peeled back the covers and climbed in.
Carter followed, lying down, sighing heavily. Satisfied.
Shayla rested her head on his chest. “Now I can sleep,” she said exhaling.
Carter played with her loose hair. “Me too.”
“Thanks for taking me to dinner.”
“Thank you for agreeing to accompany me.”
Shayla grinned. “Why are you thanking me?”
“For teaching me how to care about someone other than myself.”
Shayla smiled against his chest, satisfied and content. “Hey, I meant to ask you…you ever think about looking for your aunt?”
“No. Not really. Why?”
“Because…um…I was thinking about looking for my father.”
C
arter frowned. He realized the difficulty of searching for one’s long lost relative. What if she found her father and he was a drug addict, or dead? Or what if he wanted nothing to do with her? That would hurt her and she was in a delicate state to feel anymore pain than she already felt by losing Jacob.
“You sure you wanna do that?”
“Well, I was thinking about it. I’m not dead set on it yet.”
Carter brushed her hair with his fingers. “I thought about reaching out to my aunt, but things are so messed up right now. Plus, I doubt if she wants anything to do with me after all the drama surrounding my Mother.”
“You never know. I mean, it’s a blessing to have family.”
“True, but they didn’t get along…don’t know what it was between them, but I know my Mother had problems with her.”
“You don’t have a problem with her, do you?”
Carter smiled. “No, Shayla. I don’t have a problem with her.”
“Aw’right then, so it wouldn’t kill you to try, right?”
“Yeah. You’re right.”
Shayla closed her eyes briefly then asked, “What’s your background, anyway? Your heritage?”
“My Mother was African-American. My father was Italian.”
That would explain your gorgeous complexion. “Oh.”
“You?”
“Mom was mixed – African-American and Caucasian, and my father is Caucasian. I would love to meet him, but not sure if he’d like to meet me, or if he would be ashamed of me. I don’t know…not sure what the story was with him and my mother.”
“Can I give you my honest opinion?”
“Sure,” Shayla said nervously squeezing his arm, not even aware she was doing it.
“I think you should leave it alone. He hasn’t been in your life this long. What makes you think he would even want to see you?”
“I don’t know. I was hoping that maybe he would. How do I know he hasn’t been looking for me?”
“I guess you don’t.”
“Exactly. So I think it’s worth a shot. Plus, it seems to work in the movies.”
“Well, this is real life, darling.”
“I know, Carter, but if I plan this thing out—”
“Life doesn’t follow a plan, Shayla.”
Shayla sighed. “You’re probably right, but I still dream that maybe he would accept me one day and—”
“Don’t get your hopes up.”
“Why are you being so negative all of a sudden? You’re the one always telling me to start over and I should get out there and reinvent myself, but when I talk about looking for relatives, you shoot me down.”
“’Cause I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time, and I’m positive it won’t be the last.”
“Yeah, but if you can avoid the frustration of it all, you wouldn’t have to experience the hurt. What if you meet him and he’s this stuck up, rich dude who’s married to a snobby, older, red-head chick who spends her days having tea parties at country clubs with her girlfriends?”
Shayla giggled at him, laughing so hard she almost came to tears. Happy ones.
“I’m just saying,” Carter continued. “A woman like that is gonna lose it when she finds out her man has a grown daughter she didn’t even know about.”
“You have some imagination.”
Carter grinned. “Something to think about though.”
“No it’s not. He might not even be involved with anyone.”
“Do you even know if he’s still alive?”
Shayla thought for a moment. She knew nothing about her father. Her grandmother never mentioned anything about him. Did she even know who her father was? “Um…no. I really don’t know anything about him.”
“And there is no one you can contact to find out?”
“Nope.”
“You know his name?”
“No.”
“You told me you were raised here, correct? In Charlotte?”
“Yep, by my grandmother.”
“Then we’ll get a copy of your birth certificate…see if his name is on it.”
A smile formed on Shayla’s face. “Good thinking Detective Williams,” she told him, but why hadn’t she thought of that? She squeezed his arm again.
“Why do you do that?” Carter asked her.
“What? This?” Shayla asked, squeezing his arm again.
“Yeah. That.”
“Sorry. I’ll stop.”
“I didn’t say it for you to stop…I just…wanted to know…never mind.” Carter closed his eyes, smiled when he felt Shayla squeeze his arm again. “I still don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be trying to track down your old man, but I’ll help you if that’s really what you want.”
She mumbled a sound and a few moments later, he felt a deep inhale from her. Her slow exhales gave him goosebumps.
“Shayla, you hear me?” He waited for a response from her and when he didn’t get one, he knew she was sleeping. “G’night sweetheart,” he whispered into the air, then closed his eyes and joined her in dreamland.
Chapter 15
At the doctor office in the morning, the doctor advised Carter that nose bleeds were not really a major health scare and that Shayla was fine. He instructed him to bring her back if the nose bleed persisted. Carter thanked the doctor and went straight to work. Shayla went home.
In the evening, she was relaxing in the family room, lying on the floor watching TV when she heard Carter say, “I’ve been all over this house looking for you, girl.”
“Really, ‘cause I didn’t even hear you call me.”
“That’s because I didn’t call out to you,” he said, sauntering over to stand near her. “I was just looking, but I’ll remember to yell your name next time, darling.”
“Ha, ha, ha,” she said facetiously, staring up at the tower-of-a-man, his eyes staring down at her like a pair of high beam headlights.
“I’m going to get comfortable…be right back.”
“Okay,” Shayla said airily, and as he turned and walked away, she admired how good he looked in the tan suit he was wearing, combined with a sea green shirt and a pair of chocolate brown leather Louis Vuitton loafers that matched the color of his necktie. There was something about the color combination that made his eye color much more incredible and noticeable. His hair was looking extra good today, like he’d stopped by the barber on the way home. The small, loose curls were silky and the edge-up was on point.
When he’d completely exited the room, Shayla turned her attention back to the show she was watching – a woman playing matchmaker to rich men and women. She took the remote from the floor next to her and turned up the volume a little. A few moments later, she heard Carter running down the stairs.
“Ay,” he said peeping in the room. “You want something to drink?”
“No,” Shayla said, staring at the TV. “I’m good. Thanks.”
Carter went on to the kitchen, snatched a bottle of water from the fridge then returned to the room and sat on the couch.
Shayla sat up a little, turned around to look at him. He looked very relaxed, and it amazed her at how stunning he was in a pair of navy blue gym shorts and a gray T-shirt. He was fly in just about anything.
“No homework tonight?” she asked, resting her head back on the floor, staring at the TV screen with a satisfied smirk on her face.
“Oh, you got jokes.”
“Well you’re always sitting in here with your laptop doing something.”
“There’s always work to do, hun. I just chose not to do any tonight, especially since I stayed at the office so late.” He took a sip of water. “What is this you’re watching?”
“Some matchmaker show for wealthy people.”
“And…you’re…watching…this, why?”
“Because it’s entertaining to see a bunch of millionaires complain about not being able to meet people and form lasting connections. Hey, you should go on this show.”
> “What?” Carter laughed. “I do pretty good for myself, but I’m not a millionaire.”
“At the rate you’re going, you will be one day. And I know there’s some hot woman out there dying to meet you and spend all of your money.”
I’m sure there is, Carter thought. “And I don’t have trouble meeting women. The attention is actually a burden sometimes. Hey, why are you lying on the floor?”
“It’s comfortable.”
“Can you come sit next to me, please?” Carter didn’t like the fact that she was on the floor for one simple reason – she was lying on the sidewalk when he’d met her. She was so cold then, so close to death. He didn’t want to relive any of it and her lying there on the floor now was forcing him to do so.
“No. I like it down here.” Shayla placed her hands under her head, reinforcing her comfortability.
“Shayla...”
“Yeah?”
“Come sit next to me.”
She sat up and looked at him. “So it went from a request to a demand, huh?”
“I’m not demanding. It’s just—”
“Is it bothering you that much that I’m on the floor, Carter?”
“Yeah, it is actually. When I found you, you were lying face up on the sidewalk. So forgive me if I’m a little bothered by seeing you in that same position right now.”
Shayla sighed. Would he forever see her as a homeless woman lying on the sidewalk? “All right, all right.” She stood with the remote in her hand, stretched then walked near him and sat down.
“Thank you,” he said, staring at her, paying extra attention to the edges of her hair which seemed to have been growing out of control but something about it he liked. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and rolled in a bun. He noticed she had two earring holes in her left ear and thought about how nice a pair of diamond studs would look with her new necklace. Had he ever seen her wear earrings?
Shayla, feeling his eyes blazing against her skin, turned to him and asked, “How was your day?”
“You really wanna know how my day was?”
“Yeah. That’s why I asked.”
Carter grinned. He didn’t even know how to answer her question. He’d never been asked it before by anyone – not his assistant, coworkers, dates – no one. But yet, for some reason, she wanted to know how his day was, only he didn’t know if she was just trying to make conversation or if she really gave two cents about his day. “It was okay. I had a lot of meetings and conference calls. That’s why I got here so late. What you eat for dinner?”
