by Tina Martin
Shayla could feel Carter’s eyes burning a hole through the newspaper. She set it on the table and took a sip of coffee, careful not to look at him. She was still angry as visions of him being with Ms. Barbie flashed in her mind.
“I didn’t sleep well either,” Shayla said, drinking more than a sip of coffee.
“Why not?”
She shrugged casually.
Carter sighed. “I came to your room last night.”
Don’t know why. Shayla picked up the newspaper again, holding it in the same position, hiding her face.
“Why’d you lock the door?” he asked her.
That’s what locks are for. Shayla pretended to scan the newspaper, just to avoid him.
Carter reached across the table, took the newspaper from her grasp and placed it next to his coffee mug. “I said, why’d you lock the door?”
“Why do you ask questions that you already know the answer to?” Shayla fired back.
“Shayla, why’d you lock the door?” he repeated testily.
“Because I didn’t want you to bother me…just wanted to have some time to myself.”
“Really?”
“Yep, now can I have my paper back?”
“Actually, it’s my paper,” Carter said bluntly. “So you wanted to be alone, huh?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Is that why you were walking down the street? In the rain? In the dark? You needed to be alone?”
“Yep.”
“Guess you don’t need me to help you sleep anymore, huh?”
“Guess not. Plus, it can really confuse things.”
“You think so?”
“I know so,” Shayla said condescendingly. “Like you said, you don’t want to do anything you would regret, right?”
“Right,” Carter said dryly.
And falling in love with a bum is something you would regret, Shayla thought, especially when you have a woman like Genevieve.
Carter was aware of the source of all this, of her jealousy. He also saw that he could use this situation to his advantage. This could be the break from Shayla he needed to get his mind right – to prevent himself from falling in love with her while diverting his focus back to Jacob’s wishes. If Shayla continued to think that he was seeing another woman, he could do this more effectively. He could take care of her without constantly thinking about how good her lips felt against his. He could focus on helping her get back on her feet instead of daydreaming about her while he was supposed to be working. So as wrong as his little scheme was, it was the quickest and easiest way to put an end to what he felt for her – what they were feeling for each other.
Swallowing hard while feeling his heart pause in the process, he said, “Shayla, I want to apologize if I mislead you in any way. I care for you deeply, I do, but I can’t allow myself to have feelings for you that exceed a simple friendship.”
So he is seeing her, Shayla confirmed in her mind, feeling like a fool to think there could be a possibility that Carter had changed and was falling in love with her. That he was capable of falling in love, even after years of being a player, of not even knowing what love felt like. But now, she realized this wasn’t the case – that he was seeing a woman named Genevieve – a perfectly gorgeous woman who would be another victim to his charming ways. How many woman had he led on this way? Made them think that they were something special? That they could potentially be a permanent part of his life? That he’d change from his bachelor ways in order to give them what they wanted – marriage, kids and a happy life?
“Did you hear me?” he asked looking at her, seeing the hurt in her eyes. He’d seen the look before plenty of times with plenty of women.
“Yep. Loud and clear. I need to be working on rebuilding my life anyway, and when I’m out of the picture, you can have your women come over here instead of meeting you at hotels.”
“What?” Carter asked frowning. He wanted to tell her the truth, then and there, but hesitated.
Shayla stood, walked out of the kitchen, leaving his question open.
Carter shook his head disappointingly, upset with himself for hurting her. He was torn. On one end of the spectrum, he was feeling himself fall for Shayla, but on the other, he felt guilty for those feelings – for betraying Jacob’s trust. As it stood, he didn’t get along with his brother. Jacob despised him and was angry at him right up until his death. And Jacob, though feeling this way about Carter, had entrusted Shayla to him. He wanted Carter to take care of her. Falling in love with her was not a part of the deal.
Chapter 26
Carter stayed at work until six in the evening feeling random, sporadic urges to call Shayla but found the willpower to resist. She needed time to think as much as he did. Plus, he didn’t want to call only for her to see his number flash on the phone and outright avoid him, leaving him sitting at his desk wondering where she was, and if the unanswered calls were unintentional or if she was sitting right there staring at the caller ID.
Shayla hadn’t thought about calling him. Their closeness, which used to be consolation for her, was now a weird, disturbing feeling. They’ve been closer than friends, closer than a man helping a woman in need. Why did he suddenly want to end whatever it was that they had? Was she not good enough? Pretty enough? What exactly does it mean when a man says, ‘I care about you, but I don’t love you?’ Doesn’t caring about someone involve the same emotions as love? Or was it really possible to care deeply for someone without actually loving them?
Shayla didn’t know how to feel about their friendship, odd relationship or whatever it was they had going on. But one thing was for sure – Carter didn’t hide who he was…didn’t hold back telling her he wasn’t the one-woman type. He was a player, but that didn’t do anything to change the way she felt about the man. She loved him and it hurt her to know he was seeing women behind her back. So much for thinking she was something special…
Carter pulled up in the driveway, noticing the Lexus was there. But was Shayla home? Or would it be a repeat of last night?
He walked in silently, strolled through the living room, on through the kitchen then upstairs. He heard the TV on in her room, but the door was locked. At least she’s here, he thought. Satisfied, he went to his room to shower and get comfortable.
Shayla sighed and closed her eyes, hearing Carter’s words from this morning. I can’t allow myself to have feelings for you. She had to get out of the house to get some air and think things through, especially since she had an aching desire to be close to Carter, to ask him how his day was, or sit on the couch with him while he worked. Instead, she came downstairs around eight that evening, her purse swinging from her right shoulder, keys clanking in her left hand.
“Where you going?” Carter asked. He was sitting on the living room couch – wearing a white wife beater and black jogging pants. He had a stack of papers on his lap. Shayla wondered why he sat in the living room and not the den, his usual crash landing location.
“I’ll be back in a lil’ while.”
“Where are you going?” he asked again.
She shrugged. “I figured I’d catch a movie or something.”
“Why didn’t you ask me if I wanted to go?” Carter tossed a few papers off to the side, gave Shayla his full attention. He looked very much engrossed in whatever it was he was doing, undoubtedly something for the job. Always something for the job. His laptop was on the coffee table in front of him.
“Well, you look extremely busy and I—”
“But you didn’t even ask me?” Carter slid off his reading glasses. “Busy or not – you still could’ve asked me.”
Shayla rolled her eyes. “I’m not up to doing this whole back and forth thing with you right now, so I’m just gonna go.” She took a few steps towards the door.
“No, wait a minute. I’m serious. Why didn’t you ask me?” He slid to the edge of the couch.
Is this guy playing games with me or what, Shayla thought as she stopped in her tracks. “I j
ust assumed that if you wanted to go out, you’d go with her. Plus, I didn’t think you wanted to be seen with me in public,” Shayla said thinking about how gorgeous Genevieve looked compared to her, about how she could never compare to a woman like that.
Carter frowned, swallowed her words like shards of glass. Instead of replying to her statement, he said, “I’m going.” He stood, set the stack of papers on the table. “Let me grab my wallet. I’ll meet you in the car.”
“Carter, will you stop? Just keep doing whatever it is you’re doing. I want to go alone.”
“You’re not going alone. I’ll be right back.”
“Carter—”
“I’ll be right back,” he said jogging upstairs.
Shayla sighed. How was she going to get out of this one? She walked outside, stood on the porch for a few minutes, continuing on to the car, waiting for Carter. Moments later, she watched him step out and lock the door behind him. He had changed into a black dress shirt, blue jeans and black leather loafers, looking extremely fine and it only took him a few minutes.
He sat in the passenger seat of the Lexus and shut the door behind him. “I can drive if you want me to,” he offered.
“I’m already in the driver’s seat. Might as well drive.”
“So what are we going to see?” he asked, looking over at Shayla like his intrusion wasn’t a big deal.
“Don’t know,” Shayla said, backing up into the street.
“You don’t know?”
“Nope.”
“You’re going to the theater but you have no idea what movie you wanna see?”
“No. I just wanted to get out of the house and have some time to myself.” She shifted the car in drive then mumbled, “But that didn’t quite work out.”
“What you say?” he asked, glancing at her.
“Nothing.”
Carter stared at Shayla while she drove. “We could do something else. You hungry?”
“No. I wanna watch a movie.”
“But you don’t even have a movie in mind…”
“So what?” Shayla said, nearly slamming on brakes at a red light.
Carter glared at her, but kept his cool.
At the theater, Shayla walked ahead of him (refusing to walk next to him like they were a couple), then scanned the movie choices, not even caring to see any of them but since she was there, she decided to make the best of it. She ordered two tickets for Just Wright, Carter paid.
“You want popcorn?” he asked her, noticing she was standing away from him, so far away, it didn’t even look like they were there together.
“Sure.”
“Soda?”
Shayla shrugged.
Carter impatiently tapped the counter with his fingertips while the theater employee looked on. “Give me a sec,” Carter told the guy behind the counter then walked over to Shayla, standing in her personal space, staring her in the eyes. “Why are you being so short with me? And why are you standing all the way over here like we’re not even together?
“’Cause we’re not together.”
“What you talkin’ about?” he asked, but he knew what the word together meant for her. “I’m here with you, aren’t I? That means we’re together.”
“You sure, because I’m trying to envision in my head what a simple friendship is supposed to look like through the eyes of a stranger.”
Carter glared at her, then gripped her hand with his and walked back towards the counter. He ordered a super size bucket of popcorn and two sodas. Shayla, holding one of the sodas, followed him into the viewing room.
“Where do you wanna sit?” he asked her.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Shayla, where—”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said a higher octave, cutting him off.
Carter kept on climbing the stairs, about halfway up, walking over to the seats in the middle of the row so they would be centered with the screen. Shayla sat down first. Carter sat in the seat next to her, prompting Shayla to stand and slide over a seat to leave an empty seat between the two of them.
Carter glared at her for the umpteenth time today. “You don’t want to sit next to me?” he asked her, and when she didn’t respond, he stood, sat next to her anyway, glancing around to see how many people were in the viewing room. There were about twenty folks all spread out evenly. A Hispanic couple sat in the row in front of them.
The movie had just begun. Shayla stared at the screen, but could feel Carter’s eyes burning on the left side of her face. She wished he’d stayed at home.
Ten minutes later, give or take, he asked her, “Do you want any popcorn? I didn’t buy this bucket for myself.” He threw a fistful of popcorn in his mouth and looked at her.
“No thanks.” Shayla’s eyes remained glued to the screen, annoyed by his voice, his scent, his presence. Her alone time was ruined by the man who broke her heart.
Carter eyed her face, her elegant bone structure, her neck beautiful in form. He noticed the shape of her ear, her hair wedged behind it.
Shayla could see his stares through her peripheral and as she pretended to watch the movie, she wondered why he was staring at her so hard, like he was trying to read her thoughts by some weird X-ray vision super power. She was very uncomfortable – even considered moving over a seat again – but that would probably upset him and the last thing she wanted to do was cause a scene. In a movie theater.
Carter set the popcorn bucket on the floor. “Can I ask you something?” he whispered leaning against her, his breath kissing her left ear.
Shayla frowned a little. “We’re supposed to be watching the movie. Can it wait?”
“No, it can’t,” he replied. “When we were home, you said you didn’t think I wanted to be seen in public with you. What’s that about?”
“Just the way I feel…”
“The way you feel?” he said looking at her sideways.
Shayla propped her right elbow up on the armrest and leaned away from him, pretending to be interested in the movie than anything he had to say.
“What indications have I given you that I didn’t want to be seen with you?”
Shayla shrugged, still kept on watching the movie.
“Shayla, I’ve been putting up with your slick comments all day. Don’t play games with me,” Carter said sternly a little louder than a whisper.
“What are you talking about?” she asked frowning, looking at him now. “I’m not the one playing games.”
“So why are you being so short with me?”
“Well, we are in a freakin’ movie theater.”
“You saying that as if I’m not aware. I know where we are.”
“Obviously you don’t because you’re still talking.”
Carter took a moment to collect himself and asked, “Why would you think that I don’t want to be seen with you in public?”
Shayla stared at the screen again with her arms crossed, watching the couple sitting in front of them turn around to see what all the loud whispering was about.
“You’re not going to answer me?” Carter said, his brows furrowed.
“Maybe it’s not good for rich businessmen to be seen around the city hanging out with their maids…bad for business don’t you think?”
Carter was so heated, he could feel steam rise from his forehead up to the dark ceiling. Instead of causing an even bigger scene, he stood up and slammed the bucket of popcorn in her lap. “I’ll be in the car.”
Shayla sighed and covered her eyes with her right hand. She set the bucket of popcorn on the floor then walked swiftly to the end of the aisle and down the stairs in an attempt to catch up to him.
“Carter, wait.” She watched him turn around. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” she said.
“You didn’t mean to upset me?” he said, breathing quickly. Forcefully.
“No. I just—”
“Go watch the movie, Shayla. I’ll be in the car.” He walked away from her, left her standing near the exit as he
passed through the double glass doors and on to the parking lot.
Shayla had no intentions on watching the movie now. How could she sit in the theater and enjoy a movie with this rift between them? Instead, she headed to the car, got in on the passenger side. “Let’s just go.”
Carter started the engine but didn’t put the car in drive just yet. He just held on to the steering wheel like he could just snatch it off and toss it like a Frisbee. With anger blazing from his eyes, he looked at her. “How can you say something like that to me after everything we’ve been through? Hunh? I don’t want to be seen in public with you?”
“Just forget I said anything, Carter.”
“Nah. You said it, so it must have some merit to it...must’ve been on your mind so—”
“Just let it go. Jeez!” She rolled her eyes and glanced out the window.
“You insult me and you want me to pretend like I’m cool with that?” he asked angrily.
“First off, I didn’t insult you.”
“Yeah, you did. You’re painting me to be somebody I’m not, Shayla, like I’ve been treating you badly for the past few months…like I think I’m better than you or something.”
Shayla shook her head and blew a forceful breath. “Stop making everything about you.”
“Hunh? For the last four months, everything has been about you. I have catered to you in every way possible!” Carter glared at her and was so angry, his face was turning a shade darker right before her eyes. “You say I don’t wanna be seen with you in public but when you were dirty, homeless and almost dead on the sidewalk, I was there. I was the one who stayed with you in intensive care for nearly a week when you had no one! I’m…the…man,” Carter said slapping his chest with each word, “Who has given you everything, and for you to think I’m ashamed of you is not only an insult to yourself, but it’s an insult to me and quite frankly, I don’t deserve it, Shayla!”
Shayla’s lips quivered and tears blurred her vision. She wanted to toss Genevieve’s name in the mix, but what was the point? What ground did she have to fight for a man that didn’t belong to her?
“I don’t know where you get off trying to make me feel like I’ve actually treated you less than human,” he erupted. “I don’t spit in your face…look down on you…hurt you…abuse you! I don’t disrespect you, and I don’t treat you like a maid, so you say. And when have I ever asked you to do anything for me?”
