Good God!
Her rumpled hair was everywhere, giving the term “thoroughly fucked” a visual definition. She tamed the tresses as best she could before hustling down the hallway. Her bare feet slapped the hardwood floor. The brush from last night still sat on the floor where she’d dropped it. Dread settled over her. This was exactly what she feared, meeting Shannon with a guilt-ridden face.
“Mom, relax.” Ren stood at the door with zipped but not buttoned jeans. He had ruffled hair and sleep eyes. No way to disguise the fact he’d just woken up or why he’d slept there. It was written all over his face and the red lines down his back from where she’d dragged her nails the night before.
“Relax? You want me to relax? You park in the driveway and never make it to the house…all night.” Shannon huffed out a breath and turned her attention to Stacey. “Then I come looking for you and you’re half-naked at the neighbor’s.” Her voice tightened as she said “neighbor,” taking all the warmth out of what used to be a friendly reference.
“Good morning, Shannon,” Stacey said, her voice soft. Folding her arms across her body as if to protect herself, she stood there, unsure of what to do or say. Awkward didn’t even begin to describe the situation.
“Mom, I told you yesterday to stop worrying. There may be nights I don’t come home at all. I’m twenty-three, for God’s sake.” His lips pulled tight and his brows drew together. His gaze shifted in Stacey’s direction. Apology softened his eyes. If nothing else, he made it clear he didn’t want her to take the brunt of his mother’s anger.
She gave him a tiny smile.
“Did you spend the night here?” Shannon didn’t look at Ren when she asked the question. Her narrowed gaze targeted Stacey. She already knew the answer to the question, but wanted a confirmation. Shannon stepped through the doorway and in Stacey’s direction.
Her heart accelerated, but she couldn’t move, her legs like cement pillars, weighing her to the floor.
“Mother, let’s discuss this at home.” Ren reached for her arm, the one not in the sling, but she evaded his grasp. She was on a mission to confront Stacey and Ren couldn’t stop her. At least that’s what the mother-bear determination in her eyes said.
“No. I think we’ll discuss it right here. Right now!” The ice in her voice caused a chill to run down Stacey’s spine. Shannon had figured everything out and was pissed. Rightfully so. “Are you sleeping with my son?” She stepped even closer to Stacey, who glanced down at her bare feet before meeting her angry gaze.
She swallowed. She could lie and say it was all a big misunderstanding, but she had never been much of a liar. Dishonesty only caused more destruction. She’d learned that firsthand. “Ren and I have had sex. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” Ren looked at her, his eyes pleading.
“You’re sorry? That’s rich.” The outrage felt like a sucker punch to the stomach. “How dare you?”
Even though she saw Shannon’s hand coming, she could not respond fast enough. The blow landed on her cheek with a loud slap. She inhaled sharply, her own hand coming to rest on her heated and stinging skin. Tears pricked behind her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She’d been in the wrong. This thing with Ren should have never gone so far.
“Mother!” Ren yanked Shannon’s arm, stepped between her and Stacey, and seized his mother’s shoulders.
Shannon winced, having had shoulder surgery several weeks ago.
He walked her backward, creating space between her and Stacey. His breaths heaved, and his ribs expanded rapidly.
“Get out of the way, Ren.” Shannon struggled in his grasp.
“Stop fighting me, Mom. You’ll reinjure your shoulder and I won’t let you hit her again.” Irritation dripped from his voice, which surprised her. She’d never heard him so much as raise his voice at Shannon. Despite some of their struggles and his frustration at feeling smothered, he’d always spoken to her gently. His tone was less than gentle now.
“Oh.” Shannon puffed out a cackle. “You won’t let me. You’re her protector now?”
“You want to hit someone, hit me.” His hunched shoulders dropped. “I came on to her. I pursued her. She’s tried to push me away, but I won’t let her.”
“She’s eight years older than you, Ren Michael Haynes. She knows better.” Shannon’s hands fisted. “Get your ass home right now. This is between Stacey and me.”
Ren blanched. “I love her, Mom.”
Stacey’s eyes widened. He’d claimed to have feelings for her, but love? She didn’t know what to think, especially with the revelation coming out at this moment.
Shannon laughed. Not a happy, congratulations-you’re-in-love laugh. More like a witch-stirring-her-cauldron laugh. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end.
“I bet you do. It’s called sex. It will make you do and say stupid things all the time.” Shannon peered around Ren’s shoulder. Her words stung, as if Stacey was unlovable. “I know things were rough for you with the divorce and the way Randy betrayed you. I tried to be a friend to you.” Anger still pervaded her words, but a hint of hurt entered as well.
“I know you did.” Disappointment and sadness surged through Stacey at the betrayal. That she allowed herself to be swayed by her need to feel desired again so much so that she succumbed to being seduced by her neighbor’s son, ruining the friendship she’d formed over the years. And Ren, oh, God, what had she done? How had she thought, if even for a brief time, having sex with him was okay?
“Are you that desperate to get back at Randy that you had to go after my son?”
Those words hurt worse than the slap across the face or the comment that Ren’s love proclamation was just a product of lust. Ren had nothing to do with Randy. She’d never use him to get back at her ex. This wasn’t some well-thought out scheme she’d been masterminding for months. It hadn’t been a thought at all. Until a few days ago, she’d never have even imagined this could happen.
“Stop, Mother! This is between you and me.” Ren shook his head. “I meant to talk to you about this yesterday, but I lost the nerve. I chickened out. You were upset with me for wanting space and I was afraid to bring my feelings for Stacey up. I didn’t want to make you more upset. I regret that.”
She ignored him, still focused on Stacey. “So, that’s why you raced down to your sister’s after Ren visited you. Feeling guilty about seducing my son, you couldn’t wait to get out of town and hide your face? And here I was worried that Randy did something to upset you.”
Ren hauled Shannon toward the door just as Jay came running up the porch steps and breached the doorway.
Stacey’s cheeks flushed. Could this get any worse? Any more embarrassing? She didn’t think so.
“Dad.” Ren sounded relieved.
“What’s going on here?” Jay glanced from Ren to Shannon, then winced when he got to Stacey.
“She’s fucking our son,” Shannon said with disgust, her good arm flailing in anger.
“Jesus Christ.” Ren handed her over to his father, who wrapped her gently in his embrace. “I could understand this reaction if I were sixteen, but I’m twenty-fucking-three.”
“Watch your mouth. I don’t care if you’re thirty. She’s our neighbor who used to come watch you play high school football. She knows better.” Shannon’s voice cracked.
“Shannon, let’s get home.” Jay pulled her with him as he eased toward the front door.
“I’m not leaving him with her.” Shannon struggled against her husband. Tears spilled down her cheeks, her distress palpable.
Guilt gnawed at Stacey. She’d caused this trouble. Shannon was right about one thing, she should have known better.
“There’s nothing wrong with her,” Jay said softly. He looked up from his wife and found Stacey’s gaze. “They’re both adults.” Jay smiled softly in Stacey’s direction, but all she could do was stare with an open mouth. Jay knew. Ren must have told his father.
She didn’t know if she was more angr
y or embarrassed. Both emotions twisted her gut.
She couldn’t believe this was happening. This was exactly why a relationship with Ren would not work. Shannon would never talk to her again and would probably tell the whole neighborhood. Juliet and Mary from across the street would glare at her every time she walked to the curb to get her mail. Donna, four houses down, would whisper to her husband every time Stacey would jog past her house. This was a neighborhood of gossip. When Randy left her, they all looked at her with pity, propping her up with positive words to make her feel better. Now, they’d tear her to shreds.
“I’m not leaving him here,” Shannon said, the defensive tone of her voice ringing through the house. She sounded as if Stacey were a predator and Ren needed protection.
“Mother, go home,” Ren said. “I’ll be there later to talk with you.”
“Let’s go, Shannon.” Jay steered her out the front door, down the porch steps, and across the lawn. Shannon could still be heard arguing with Jay and questioning his understanding of the situation.
Stacey slid down the wall until her backside hit the hard floor. Resting her forehead against her knees, she wrapped her arms around her legs and cried.
The tears flowed like a river feeding the sea. She’d been numb for months, forcing herself to feel little, walking around like a zombie from The Walking Dead. And despite knowing this fling with Ren could go nowhere, she couldn’t deny this was the most alive she’d felt in years. But it was over now.
As was her friendship with Shannon.
The front door clicked closed, and Ren’s bare feet slapped the floor. He knelt next her, trying to gather her in his arms. “I’m sorry, Stace. I should have talked to her yesterday when I had the chance.”
“Stop!” She lifted her head and yanked her arm from his grasp.
“Stacey, please.” He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want her to find out this way. I wanted to tell her.”
“Tell her what? That you’re fucking me? Do you honestly think that would go over any better? That she wouldn’t have marched over and attacked me the moment those words burst from your lips?” She sniffled and wiped tears with the back of her hand.
“I screwed up.” He lowered his head.
“We both did. This shouldn’t have happened. Your mother has every right to be angry. I caved in several moments of weakness. This is done.”
“Bullshit!” His hand balled into a fist and he hit the wall next to her head. She startled. She’d never seen him angry or take a swing at anything. The punch hadn’t been hard enough to crack the drywall, but his point was made. Lifting his head, he pinned her with his narrowed eyes. “I’m not going to pretend there is nothing between us.”
“I’m afraid you have no choice.” She wished she could say the words with more confidence. Despite her best efforts, she had to admit she was falling for Ren. Which was another reason this had to end. And end now.
“What, exactly, are you saying?” He brushed her burning cheek with the back of his hand.
She recoiled at his touch, shoving his hand away. Just another reminder of how screwed up this situation had become. “It’s over. This can go nowhere.”
“Don’t push me away. I’m not going anywhere. Do you understand that?”
She struggled to her feet, and he followed suit. He settled close to her, mere inches away, his masculine beachy scent swarming her like a bunch of angry bees. She had to hold her ground. The only way to make things right would be to force him away. Even if it broke her heart.
“This—us—was a mistake. A huge mistake.”
He flinched. The helpless look on his face pained her. “Don’t say that.” He ran his fingers through his hair and paced in front of her. “I want to be with you. You want to be with me. We can make this work.”
“You can’t be serious.”
He stopped moving, placed his hands on his hips, and stared at her. “I’m more than serious.” A severe look shone in his blue eyes even through the tears. That almost broke her. In all the years of knowing him, she’d never seen him cry.
None of this had been thought through. Most importantly, she hadn’t even considered that he could be in hurt. She’d been so wrapped in her own concerns, she missed the possibility that her actions might harm him.
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”
“You’re willing to ruin your relationship with your mother? To be with someone that will never be accepted by your family? Or your friends, for that matter? Let’s just chalk this up to what it was.”
“And what was that?” He narrowed his eyes, his brows lowering, but his bottom lip quivered. The movement was slight, but she noticed and it almost made her change her mind and swallow her words. Almost.
“You nailed an older woman. It’s been fun! Move on!”
“You think this is some fantasy of mine?” He shook his head. “You’re unbelievable. Do you think I’d be back after Saturday if this was just about getting in your panties? Honestly. You know my reputation. I’m rarely back for seconds.”
“Get out!” She pointed to the front door.
“I’m not leaving.” He crossed his arms over his bare chest, standing before her like a tree with deep roots. Standing tall even if a category five hurricane ripped through. His mouth pulled tight into a grimace. The muscles around his jaw twitched as he tried to maintain his composure.
“Yes, you are.” She inhaled and blew it out with force. “Get out!” The volume of her voice reverberated through the foyer and high ceilings. He stepped in her direction, but she raised her hand and shook her head. “You need to leave, Ren. I don’t want to call the police, but I will.” She stared at him, watching his expression going from angry to enraged.
“You wouldn’t,” he snapped.
“I would. And I will.” She pointed to the door again. “Get out of my house. This little fantasy is over.”
He swung his head back and forth and huffed out a breath. “This isn’t over, Stacey. Not by a long shot.” He turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.
She sucked in a few deep breaths before the sob broke. Sinking to her knees, she let the tears flow again. She’d allowed herself to think Ren was the key to her getting her out of her shell again, reviving her. Perhaps he wasn’t the only one living out a fantasy.
Chapter Eight
Frustration didn’t even begin to describe how Ren felt. Shirtless, he stormed out of Stacey’s house wanting to punch something harder than her wall. He wasn’t a violent person, had only been in a couple fights in his life and those had been instigated on the football field. But his mother refused to let him be an adult. Treated him like a child incapable of making decisions. She’d actually scolded him in front of the woman he wanted to win over. Embarrassing and completely unnecessary.
And the woman he loved with all his being had refused to let him love her. Stacey had shut him out after giving him a glimpse of what they could be.
Fuuuccckkk!
How did things get so screwed up?
Pushing through the front door, he expected his mother to rush him with angry words. To itemize all the ways he was screwing up the life she’d planned for him. He’d never seen her so pissed.
Instead, silence embraced him. He could slink to his room and avoid the whole confrontation, give her the silent treatment until she conceded she’d been in the wrong, but that wouldn’t help his chances of getting back with Stacey, or repair his rapport with his mom. Despite her behavior, he still wanted to salvage their relationship.
The way she attacked Stacey upset him, especially after everything Stacey had been through already. His gut curled into a knot of guilt at having been so selfish, dragging Stacey into this situation and not discussing things with his mother.
Would his mom have been mad if he’d talked to her first? Yes. He knew that. But his avoidance of the topic was childish. His father had warned him. If he wanted to convince Stacey a relatio
nship between them was possible, he needed to man-up. Show her he was mature enough to handle a relationship and all the consequences—both good and not so good—that came with one.
A strange calmness washed over him, stripping away the anger and frustration from moments ago. He’d been going about things all wrong. He wasn’t going to persuade Stacey to give them a shot with just words or sex, no matter how incredible the sex might be. He needed to prove his feelings through his actions. First action: Dealing with his mother.
“Mom,” he called, climbing the staircase to the bedrooms on the second floor. A door creaked open and Ren’s father stepped into the hallway. He looked a little worn, hair disheveled, lines etched in his forehead, eyes weary. When his mother was upset, his dad took the brunt of it.
“I think I’ve calmed her down. Are you sure you want to have this conversation now?”
“I need to talk to her.” Ren nodded. “I screwed up by putting it off. I should have had this conversation yesterday when the opportunity presented itself, but I chickened out. It’s my fault she found out this way. I don’t want her angry at Stacey. This is on me.” He ducked into his bedroom across the hallway and grabbed a gray t-shirt.
“Enter at your own risk,” his father warned. “I finally got her to stop cussing and crying.” He patted Ren on the shoulder before scooting by and heading downstairs.
“Mom?” Ren knocked softly.
Turning the handle, he pushed the door open a crack and peeked in. His mother huddled in her cushioned chaise near the bay window. The sun poured in from the open blinds, warming the room and highlighting the rich greens and silver of his parents’ décor.
“Can we talk?” Ren inched inside, leaving the door cracked just in case he needed to yell for assistance. Not that his mother would ever get physical with him. She’d never laid a hand on him, his father either. But he had never been good at dealing with her when she melted down in tears or lectured him to no end. That was Dad’s territory.
“Talk about what?” Shannon didn’t turn in his direction. She stared out the window at the inter-coastal canal behind their house. Though he loved his mother, her guilt trip routine could wear on him.
Let Me Love You Page 10
