by Lexi Blake
He stared down at her and for the briefest second, she thought he was going to kiss her. It would be electric because he was right about one thing. They did have chemistry. It was completely unlike anything she’d ever felt before. That was exactly why she couldn’t bring herself to trust it. Not for a second.
She knew the truth about herself. She might have a toned body, but she wasn’t lovely and beautiful like Charlotte Taggart. She wasn’t some bombshell to tempt a man. There was no smooth, delicate femininity to her like there was in Eve McKay and Phoebe Murdoch. She was one of the guys and no man wanted that. Not for long term.
But she could have him for a couple of nights, maybe even pretend he was truly into her.
He leaned over and kissed her forehead. When he stepped back, there was a look of grim resolve on his face. “I’ll tell my brother to send Case with you. He’ll watch out for you. He won’t expect anything but a good work partnership. I’ll give him a crash course in D/s, but you’re going to have to cover for his flaws.”
He was leaving? He took a step back.
“You’ll talk to Ian?” The words felt weird coming out of her mouth. She was getting exactly what she wanted.
He nodded, but his face was flushed and he wouldn’t look her in the eyes. “Yeah, I thought it would be a good way for us to spend some real time together, but you’re not ready.”
“I told you I would spend time with you.” In bed.
Now he looked at her and the saddest smile tilted his lips up. “Yes, you would take what you want and not get a damn thing you need, girl. I don’t want to be that man. I think you’ve had far too many of those men in your life. You need more time? You need to hide away for a little while longer? Okay. I’ll be here. But it’s going to be Case watching out for you. I don’t trust anyone else.” He turned and started to go. “I’ll work the op from this side. I’ll be your contact and make sure you have all the support you need.”
“I don’t understand you.” She stared as he put his hand on the door. It was perverse. She should be thrilled. Everything she wanted was being handed right to her and the boy toy was backing off. She could spend months away from him. Sure, he was sending her with someone she wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole, but they were all kind of like that. It was no biggie. She’d gone way longer without sex. Come to think of it, she hadn’t actually had any since she’d come to McKay-Taggart. A long dry spell, and there was zero end in sight and all because she couldn’t get that sweet idiot out of her head.
What if he wasn’t lying? What if by some weird turn of fate he did want a sarcastic, unfeminine, older woman with small boobs? There was no accounting for taste with some men. What if he meant everything he said?
Was she so far gone that she let a man like him walk away because her ex-husband had told her she wasn’t worth fucking? Because her father had never seen her value? Didn’t she owe it to herself to try?
She reached out before he’d managed to open the door and put a hand on his arm. He turned and she could tell he was far more upset than he’d allowed her to see. His jaw was tight, fine lines appearing around his mouth. She so rarely saw him when he wasn’t smiling and happy. She’d put that look on his face.
He frowned, his brows rising as he turned and put his back to the door. “What is it?”
“Hush.” She wanted to look at him, really freaking look at him. All she’d seen so far was his youth and beauty, and somewhere in her brain that meant he was perfect, but no one had a perfect life. How much pain did that smile hide? According to what she’d learned about him, his father had left and he and Case had watched their mother disintegrate under the pressure and loss.
Yet all she’d truly seen was his beauty. She hadn’t considered that she could hurt him.
“Tell me you’re real.” She couldn’t force herself to step back. Now that she was so close to him, so close to spending months and months without seeing him, she knew she couldn’t. Somehow in trying to distance herself from him, she’d still gotten in way too deep.
His hands came up, cupping her waist. “I’m real, baby. I’m not ever going to play mind games with you. I’m going to be honest. I want you and not only in bed. I want you for selfish reasons. I think you’re good for me. I don’t want you simply because I think you’re gorgeous. I like you. You make me laugh. You put me on my ass when I need it. I’ve never known a woman like you.”
If he wasn’t real, the universe sucked even harder than she thought it did. If he wasn’t real, she wasn’t sure she wanted to ever know.
She went up on her toes. God, she loved how much bigger he was. She wasn’t a petite thing and yet she only managed to come up to right under Theo’s chin. It took extra effort to bring her lips to his.
Heat sparked through her the second she brushed her lips against his. His mouth was sensual and sexy, and she’d dreamed of it every night since the first time they’d met. This was what she needed. She didn’t need to push him away. That was fighting her nature. It was a much better idea to bring him close and enjoy him for a while. It wouldn’t last forever. No matter what he said, he wouldn’t stick around. He would get tired of her sarcasm, bored with her ways. It was what happened.
But why shouldn’t she enjoy him while he was here? She would watch for the signs and dump him before he had the chance to dump her.
She felt the second he took over, his hands coming up and dragging her body against his. His mouth dominated hers, lips moving in pure carnality. He was a massive predator and he wanted to eat her up. Her breasts crushed to his chest as he picked her up, drawing her body higher so he didn’t have to lean over. He turned around, putting her back against the door. His tongue invaded, sliding against hers.
She’d never loved making out. It was easiest to get to the fucking and get off as fast as possible. Everything else was weird and awkward. Not so with him. Naturally, he was the one who could make her forget about everything. She didn’t feel ungainly. She felt like a woman for once in her life.
Like she did when she was playing. Except they weren’t playing.
Over and over again he took her mouth, his tongue dragging over her bottom lip. His big leg slid between hers until she was riding it.
Every cell in her body felt electrified. She gripped his shoulders, but it was so obvious she wasn’t in control anymore. This was Theo’s game and he seemed to know how to play her to perfection.
“Do you know how long I’ve waited for this?” His words rumbled against her lips.
“A couple of weeks.”
“For fucking ever.” He moved against her.
She gasped because he’d placed her perfectly. His big thigh was between her legs and she was tilted so her clit rubbed against him. So long. She’d waited forever for this, too. One damn kiss and suddenly she didn’t feel so frigid anymore. She knew she should slow down, move off of him and maintain some semblance of sanity, but her body wasn’t listening.
Her body wanted something it hadn’t had in a long time. Her hips rolled as he kissed her again, tongues playing. She rubbed herself hard against that muscled thigh.
“That’s what I want. I want you so hot for me, you’ll do anything. Take it, baby. Take this one. I want you to come because you’re rubbing against me like a pretty cat in heat.”
She felt like she was. Somehow he affected her in ways no one else on the damn planet could. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew it was the middle of the day and there was a whole office right behind that door. They were all out there going about their daily business, and any moment someone could knock and need something.
And she would tell them they could damn well wait because she was busy fucking Theo. Well, his thigh, kind of. It didn’t matter because it felt so good. She held on to him as he steadied his big body and let her have at it.
Over and over she moved against him, her pussy wet and ready. She would care about her clothes later. Nothing mattered but the pursuit of pleasure.
The orgasm burst over
her and when she would have shouted out, he covered her mouth with his and drank down her cries.
Her whole body was weak and sated as he eased her down. If he wanted, she was ready to turn around and let him do her on her desk. Why had they waited? They should have done this that first day. They should do this every day until they were totally sick of each other and then they might stand a chance of being friends.
He kissed her again and then stepped back. There was a smug look on his face, but it did nothing to diminish how attractive he was. “I want you to think about that every single day you have to put up with Case. He doesn’t shower often, by the way.”
“Case?” Why the hell were they talking about Case?
He leaned over, kissing her again. “Case. My brother. The one who’s going to Africa with you.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want Case.”
“Precisely why I feel comfortable sending him with you.”
Damn it. He was an ass and he was going to make her say it. “Just come with me, Theo. We’ll do this thing and figure it all out later. Okay?”
He was suddenly in her space again. “No. Not okay. First off, you have to prove to me that you can respect me enough to actually look like you would obey me in a club, much less out in the field. Don’t think for a second that makes me in charge. This is our op and we’ll handle it our way, but in front of Faith McDonald, I have to look like the Dom at almost all times. And Erin, if we do give this a shot, you should know damn well that I will be the Dom in the bedroom. Do I make myself clear?”
Every word said in that dark, delicious tone made her want to pounce. He liked to talk way too much. She put her hands on his waist, loving the way his muscular body felt. “Good. Fine. We’re going to Africa. I’ll be the sub. We’ll work everything out. Let’s fuck.”
He stopped and frowned down at her. “Not a chance. Not until I actually believe you want to give this a real try. It’s all right. I’ll kiss you and get you off absolutely any time you like, but I’m not going to let you use me for sex.”
She rolled her eyes. “You know you sound like a shrinking violet virgin.”
He stepped back and she could see plainly he wasn’t unmoved by the experience. His dick was straining against his jeans, but he put his hands up. “Put me down all you like but I won’t be something you use and toss aside. I’m the man for you, Erin Argent. I’m going to prove it to you.”
“You could prove it now.” She had zero idea what had crawled into his silky undies and died.
“All I would prove is that I can fuck you and you’ll put me in the same place you put all the others. I’m going to love you. That’s the plan. I’ll kiss you and hold you every night. I’ll touch you and we’ll play. But you’re not getting little Theo until I trust that you have good intentions toward me.”
She growled his way, letting him know how frustrated she was. Of all the men in the world, she got the girl. “You’ve watched way too many rom coms, Taggart. If you’re not going to throw down with me, get out of my office so I can get ready. We’ve got an op, you know. Maybe you can sit around and write our names in a notebook with hearts and shit, but I have to prep.”
His lips curled up right before he leaned over and kissed her again. “Fine. I’ll let you prep and I’ll make sure we’re comfortable. Luckily, I memorized Ian’s credit card. I went in and upgraded us. First class, baby. He’ll kick my ass later, but we’ll have fun. And I’m not lying, Erin. You’re not getting in my boxers until I think you’re serious.”
She shook her head. Where had all her good intentions gone? It no longer was even in the back of her mind to get another partner. One kiss, an orgasm, and she was all about the boy. Damn it. “I’m serious about getting in your boxers, Taggart.”
He winked. “Dinner tonight. I’ll come by after five and we’ll go over our cover. Stay out of trouble.”
He opened the door and walked his hot ass out into the hallway.
“Dude, what is wrong with you?” she heard someone say. It sounded a lot like Hutch. “Put that thing away. There’s like kids and shit here. Go take a cold shower or something.”
She laughed at the thought of poor Theo walking around with a hard-on.
And she wasn’t going to be able to stay out of trouble. Not in any way.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Dallas, TX
Present day
“Hey, are you still with me?” Master Theo whispered in her ear.
Erin nodded, forcing herself back to reality. All evening she’d been watching scenes and thinking about him. It wasn’t fair. She needed to be in the moment, but her mind couldn’t help but run back to all their firsts together. “Of course, Sir, but it’s getting late. I have to be back in an hour.”
Back to TJ, who was being watched at home by Kori and Kai. Kai was anxious to hear about how the evening had gone, but had thought it was best to let Theo ease into his role. He would insist on walking her to her car and if she’d brought TJ, he would have been confronted with reality. So for now, she would find a sitter on her nights here.
And pray that they found enough of the old Theo that he could learn to love his son.
He stepped back, his hand tugging hers along. In the hours they’d spent watching scenes and talking, he’d always had a hand on her body. He’d tangled their fingers together or stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders or hips. They’d watched the suspension scene and then moved on to a violet wand tutorial.
Now they were finishing up the night with some whip play. Nick was showing his proficiency with a four-foot whip on one of the waitresses from Top. There was an odd disconnect between the two, though Lucy seemed to find her subspace. Maybe it was more about Nick, who hadn’t relaxed even once. He was technically fine, but it was obvious he wasn’t enjoying himself. He was servicing the sub and would likely take no pleasure from her.
She knew because she’d been Nick. She knew what it meant to walk through her days like a zombie because she couldn’t bring herself to feel anything but numb. TJ had saved her from that fate. And then Theo had returned.
No matter what happened between them, she wasn’t going backward. If he couldn’t love her again, she would still be happy he was alive and grateful for every single day she had with him.
“Are you all right?” He stopped at the outer edges of the crowd.
She forced a smile on her face. Despite the fact that he’d touched her all night, they’d had a disconnect, too. They were awkward and hadn’t talked a lot about anything beyond the lifestyle.
Patience.
“I’m good, Sir.”
“I still have forty-five minutes before I have to let you go to the locker room.”
Sometimes he sounded like a pouty boy. “What would you like to do, Sir? I’m ready for anything.”
He strode down the stairs and back into the lounge, but he kept to the sides, obviously trying to avoid the group in the middle. His family. Her friends. He selected a couch at the far edge of the lounge, sitting down and tugging her onto his lap. “I told you how I wanted to end the evening.”
With a kiss and a spanking. Her body heated in anticipation. She wanted that, too, but she was worried they would be like Nick and Lucy. Two people on the same stage with knowledge of their parts and no real heat between them. It would kill her.
His arm went around her waist, tugging her close. “Tell me how you got started in the lifestyle.”
Ah, the original question between new play partners. Vanilla people would ask about jobs and schools. Not so in the kink world. “I went to a couple of clubs because I was curious but it wasn’t until here that I got serious about it. Well, not in this club, but in the original Sanctum. This one is new.”
“Because the first one blew up,” he said seriously.
“Yep, a complete ass decided that the way to kill Jesse was to blow up a perfectly nice club. It made Big Tag pissy for a long time, but it worked out in the end. This place is ridiculously nice. Most dungeons
are in some dude’s basement.”
His hand moved over her knee. “You’ve been in some dude’s basement? I thought you were trained here.”
Such a jealous ass. “I was, but some of the Doms I played with back then had private dungeons, too. I would go there for sessions.”
“I don’t know that was safe for you.”
“Every Dom I ever played with after I joined McKay-Taggart was vetted by Ian, and I always let my friends know where I was going and when to expect me back.” She liked to think of it as her serial killer protocols. “I wasn’t going to be kidnapped and kept in a cage. Though I played with a cop who actually had a cage in his dungeon. He was into puppy play and some of his bitches were bad, if you know what I mean.”
Master Theo didn’t seem to see the humor. “Were you serious about him?”
“I was only ever serious about one man in my life.”
“But you were married,” he insisted.
Wow. She hadn’t mentioned that to him. She’d totally avoided talking to him about her first marriage. “How did you know that?”
“I might have read your file,” he allowed. “Not here. Outside the club. So you weren’t serious about your husband?”
Such an arrogant man. “Maybe he was the one I was serious about.”
The hand on her knee tightened. “Don’t tease me about that. I can handle everything but that.”
She sobered a bit. “I got married because he asked me and I thought it was time. We were both military. It’s how we met. One of my brothers brought him home when they were on leave. I kind of fell in with him. I thought that meant we had similar goals. What it meant for him was that I would quit and stay home. I’m not really that kind of girl and it all fell apart after a couple of deployments. He found his perfect military wife and I think they have a couple of kids now. From what I understand she’s good at looking the other way when he fucks around, so they’re a perfect match.”
