A pregnancy that he’d been excited about—or had at least seemed to be. She still remembered telling him. Showing him the test. They hadn’t been trying, but they hadn’t been too terribly careful, being twenty-four and knowing they were getting married soon. She’d been nervous, but secretly ecstatic. They’d spent hours making plans, talking about where they wanted to live, what they’d need to buy. To find out that he’d actually already fallen out of love with her had been a knife to her already broken heart. He told her that the baby had convinced him to try again. Made him believe maybe it was meant to be, but that once it was gone … what else was there to stay for? She could still hear the words as they came from his mouth.
Once it was gone …
Those words alone told her that, in a way, the death of their baby was a relief for him. How could she ever forgive that?
What would it be like to see him now?
Her phone ringing startled Charlotte. The caller ID showed a local number. Had her mother really worked that quickly? Good Lord.
She answered and immediately recognized Mary Sue’s voice. She was from Mississippi, her drawl thick as syrup even though she’d moved to Kansas decades ago. “Charlotte, dear, it’s Mary Sue Willis. How are you?”
“I’m great, Mary Sue. How are you?”
“Well, I’ve been better. I know your sweet Mama filled you in on the details. Shelby is just fit to be tied over this. Can you believe her photographer?”
“Being in the business, I’m afraid I’ve heard all kinds of stories although it’s unusual. I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in this position.”
“Me too. And, dear, let me be clear. I know what we’re asking is no small thing. What John Reynolds did to you is inexcusable.” She punctuated every syllable of the last word, and Charlotte had to appreciate her words although it was incredibly uncomfortable.
“Well, thank you, Mary Sue. It was a long time ago.”
“It was. But a woman doesn’t forget such a thing. Ever. No one does and he should have thought things through way before that day.”
“Well, I appreciate that. But … the past is the past. I’ve moved on.”
“Good. I just want you to know that we’d be so eternally grateful if you came to our rescue. To Shelby and Jason’s rescue. It would mean the world.”
Charlotte closed her eyes. Could she do this? Face these people that had witnessed her pain and embarrassment? Be in the presence of John?
“Did your mother tell you, it’s all here in Maple Springs, so you wouldn’t have to go far.”
“Yes, she did. I’ve worked at your church several times, and I love the Stag.” And for that reason alone, she knew she could do it. Spend an entire day in the presence of the guy who’d broken her heart into a million pieces. Her mother was right; she wasn’t the same woman she was five years ago. Now she was running a small empire—the same one he’d once bitched about taking all her time. She owned her own home, and drove a nice car. And if there was anywhere she felt confident in her abilities to nail photographing a wedding reception, it was at the Stag. With a sigh, Charlotte went on. “I’ll do it, Mary Sue.”
“You will? Oh, honey, you’ve made my day. I know Shelby will be so relieved also.” Charlotte almost thought she detected the sound of tears in her voice. She smiled to herself. It wasn’t Shelby’s fault that her photographer canceled, or that her future brother-in-law was a selfish ass. It also did make Charlotte feel good to help. Maybe she had a little of her mother in her after all.
“I’m glad. Why don’t you have Shelby call me, and she and I can set up a time to meet and just go over a few things.”
“That sounds fabulous.”
They continued to discuss a few details like payment and contract, and when the call was over Charlotte fell back on her bed, exhausted. It felt like she’d relived a life’s worth of emotions in the past twenty minutes.
Ten
The following Monday, Charlotte still hadn’t heard from Dean about the invites, so she decided to make a surprise drop-in. She couldn’t deny that part of her feared he was avoiding her after that kiss, and she knew that meant it was up to her to make the next move.
At the sound of the front door, TJ stepped out of the office hallway into the main room. He gave Charlotte a wide smile and headed over. She couldn’t help wondering if Dean had told any of the guys what had happened between them, but instantly she dismissed the idea. It was not at all in his character to kiss and tell.
“Are you here on official wedding business?” TJ asked with a smile. “I still can’t believe you let Dean talk you into helping him.”
“Well, I had to, didn’t I? Since you guys wouldn’t,” she teased.
TJ feigned a hurt expression before continuing. “It’s true, but not because we don’t love him and Alex. We are literally all working our asses off. Nearly twelve-hour days sometimes. And Dean’s the worst offender.”
“Is he? I’ll have to give him an earful. I bet things are even tougher with Tara gone.”
He nodded. “Yeah, that hurt, but her health comes first. And her baby’s.”
Their care for Tara and the health of her pregnancy sent an ache through Charlotte. She loved that they were all such good guys, and they worked so hard. All of them. “Maybe you should hire someone.”
“We talked about it. It’ll be somewhat back to normal once Tara comes back and can take over the wedding side of things, but Jake is struggling with getting all the marketing stuff done along with deliveries and social media. Then Dean … well, he needs an assistant. That’s for damn sure.”
Charlotte knew Dean was their head distiller, having worked for a larger company for several years and then a craft beer company in downtown Kansas City. “Surely he could train someone.”
TJ laughed. “I know he could. He’s taught both of us how to help him—and we do—but we’re all overworked. I think pride has kept him from admitting he can’t do it all. And then with this wedding planning on top of that … well, I feel for the guy.”
“Sounds like you and Jake just need to pull majority and insist he hire help. Is it a matter of money?” One thing she liked about the Stag guys—especially TJ, since the money side was his specialty—was they could talk business transparently. She enjoyed networking and sharing experiences with other small-business owners. It was always nice to hear other perspectives and ideas, even use one another as sounding boards.
“No. I mean, we’re not rich, but we were out of the red by our third year, and this has been our best year yet. Once the signature offerings are ready to distribute, things will be even better. Jake’s already got about eighteen accounts lined up to carry them and will no doubt sign more when he goes on his festival tour.”
“So the distilling won’t be slowing down anytime soon.”
“Not at all. In fact, if things go as we hope it will increase.”
Charlotte nodded. She hated to think Dean was working too hard, but she could see him being a little reluctant to bring someone on to help him. The guy had a lot of pride. Not in an arrogant way, just … a wants-things-to-be-done-well kind of way. The type of pride that people respected. Especially her. “Maybe I’ll talk to him.”
“Be my guest. Maybe he’ll listen to you. He’s in the distilling room right now.”
Charlotte made her way through the main room, passing by the back wall of glass that showcased the row of stainless fermenters and the copper distiller. She saw Dean step through a door at the back, but he’d yet to see her. He was so adorable in his Stag polo and dark jeans, just working away in his domain.
A couple of years ago Jake had given her and Lauren a tour one night after a wedding, so she knew where she was going as she headed through a side door into a small hallway. She passed the room they used for bottling and made her way to the large back storage space. It was utilitarian, with concrete floors, a loading dock, and a large garage door. In the corner was the machine they used to mill grain. The door to the distilling roo
m stood open, and she stepped through.
“Hey,” she said.
Dean’s head jerked up, and when he met her eyes, the expression on his face was one she’d never seen before. Panic. That let her know she’d been correct in her assumption that he was avoiding contact. Up until the photo shoot they’d had a pretty steady stream of texts going in regard to the wedding planning, and that had gone radio silent since that night. Since the kiss.
“Hi,” he said after getting control of his expression. “To what do I owe this surprise?”
He began to fidget with a gauge on the large vat that collected the distilled alcohol. Charlotte stepped farther into the room, noticing that he didn’t look her way.
“I just never heard from you on the invite situation and they really do need to go out this week.”
“Invites, yeah, God, you’re right.” His eyes finally flickered to hers; then he quickly bent over to mess with some hoses.
Never, ever, in the years she’d known him, had things been awkward between them. Not when she’d told him he had a nice butt, or when they’d joked about casual sex with co-workers. Okay, when she’d joked about it, and he’d played along. Not even the time they stood watching kids dance at a reception and she’d informed him he would make cute babies, to which he’d responded with, “Only if they were with you.” Not even that had made things awkward between them. But now they’d gone and made out, and things had changed.
She hated it.
“So, anyway, I went ahead and made a couple of designs in Photoshop, thought you could look and choose one. If I ordered them from my printing company, it would save you some money.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” His voice came from behind the fermenters, where he was still working on something.
Charlotte had no doubt that Dean was a busy man, especially after the conversation she’d just had with TJ. However, she also knew this was about way more than that. Had she come in like this a week ago, she was certain he would have taken a minute of his time to focus on her. She had to put a stop to this, especially if they were going to continue working together in any capacity, whether planning his sister’s wedding or with her shooting as a vendor in his building.
“Dean, can you not look at me?”
He let out a long sigh and then a muttered curse before standing up and meeting her eyes over the stainless-steel vessels. His look of panic had turned into something more resigned. Exhausted. Maybe she’d had it wrong and he was just stressed about work.
Stepping around the equipment, he walked up to her. “I’m sorry. I’m being rude and … it’s just been kind of a crazy week.”
“TJ mentioned how busy you guys have been.”
His eyebrows raised in surprise. “Yeah, well, things will be better when Alex’s wedding is over.”
For some reason that stung a little. “Is it just that?” She nodded toward the distilling operation. “Wouldn’t it be easier if you had someone helping you?”
He chuckled. “You’ve definitely been talking to TJ. He wants me to hire another distiller, but he fails to realize that it’s not that easy.”
“Couldn’t you teach someone? Like an apprentice. I mean, I have firsthand knowledge of your many talents, but I doubt even you came out of the womb making whiskey.”
Thankfully he laughed, the joke smoothing the way over her not-so-subtle nod to their previous time together.
“No, I didn’t. I learned from my grandfather, then went to work for a company in Oklahoma for a while. When I moved back here I worked for Bogey’s Craft Brew downtown, which has a similar process.”
He didn’t know Charlotte had read his bio on their website maybe a hundred times, since it included a picture of the three guys together. She knew his background well. Or at least what he’d shared with the public. She wished she knew more. The public, and the private.
“So see? The magic can be taught. TJ said you taught him and Jake.”
“I did. They help when I need them, but they’re not passionate about it like I am. I need someone who really wants to learn for pleasure.”
“The world is full of passionate people, Dean. If you haven’t noticed, you don’t really have an argument for not hiring help.”
He smiled and shook his head. “You’re stubborn, you know that?”
“I’ve been told. Plus, I worry about you. You’re working too hard.”
“That’s unnecessary, Charlotte. I’m fine.”
“Yeah, well, too late.” Their eyes met and held. She desperately wished she knew what he was thinking.
Finally, he nodded. “Why don’t we go in the office and you can show me those invitations.”
Charlotte followed him through the single door, into the warehouse, back down the hall, and into the main room once again. Jake, the playboy of the group, was sitting on one of the leather sofas with a laptop on the coffee table.
“Another order for Forkhorn and Signature. In Denver,” Jake said without looking up.
“Is this our first in Denver?” Dean asked.
“One has halfway committed but it’s contingent on the taste test.” Jake shook his head as he typed something quickly. “Idiots. As if the Stag would put out an inferior product.”
“Hi, Jake,” Charlotte finally said. The minute he looked up, he grinned, and within a fraction of a second he was off the couch and making his way toward her and wrapping her in the always eager, Jake hug.
“The prettiest photographer. Must be my lucky day.” His voice was muffled against her hair. When he pulled back he smiled.
Jake was an unapologetic flirt. With every female, so she always took it for what it was, which was innocent fun. Luckily for him, plenty of ladies fell for it, which Charlotte suspected was his intention. Jake never hurt for female attention, and she couldn’t blame any of them because he was young, gorgeous, and had a body that was meant for a good time.
But she felt nothing when she was around him. When she turned to Dean his eyes were tight and focused on Jake.
Jake looked quickly from Dean to Charlotte and then chuckled. “All righty then. I was going to ask Charlotte if she wanted to go out on a second date, but I don’t want to piss off the old man.”
Charlotte shook her head and laughed. She had never gone out with Jake, as he well knew. But it was kind of fun to make Dean squirm. “We haven’t done a wedding together in a while. I miss talking to you.”
“Yeah, funny, isn’t it? Your weddings always seem to fall on Dean’s nights.” He gave Charlotte a wink. “Wonder how that happens. I might have to insist on having you next time.”
“Jake.” Dean’s voice shot out hard, followed by the sound of Jake’s laughter as he sat back down to his laptop.
“Good to see you,” Charlotte called over her shoulder as she followed Dean toward the offices.
“You too, babe.” The clicking of his typing followed her.
She stepped past Dean, noticing the way his shirt pushed at his biceps as he held the door open so she could step into the conference room. Charlotte began to lay her bag on the table when his voice came from behind her.
“When did you go out with Jake?”
All right. She’d had enough of whatever this was between them.
She spun around, instantly annoyed at the anger in his tone. “Really? After all the times I’ve flirted with you, and you’d believe I’ve gone out with Jake? He was trying to get you worked up and clearly he succeeded. Which is interesting, isn’t it? Because as I recall, not fifteen minutes ago you could barely even look at me.”
His eyebrows went up and then his eyes went stormy once more as he stepped into her space. Charlotte backed up, the table pressing into the back of her thighs. She looked up at him. This was another thing that had never happened in all these years. She’d never witnessed Dean like this, definitely not directed at her. He’d always treated her gently as a vendor, and with reverent flirtation as a woman. Always straddling the fine line between naughtiness and propriety, e
ven though she constantly strived to push him over the edge.
Right now he was way over the edge.
“I don’t need to look at you, Charlotte, because ever since I had my mouth on you Thursday, you’re all I see.”
She swallowed, her eyes unable to look away. “And obviously, that’s a problem for you. Is that what you’re telling me?”
His eyes softened. “I haven’t decided yet.”
With their eyes locked, she willed him to give her more to go on before she answered. Even the slightest expression might help. She searched his eyes, needing to know what he was thinking. Was he frustrated because he feared she didn’t feel the same? Or was he irritated because he didn’t want to feel what he did? Unfortunately, he gave her no hint to his emotions.
She’d always hoped her flirting with Dean would lead to something, since she’d had a crush on him for so long. But faced with the reality of admitting that, she knew that if it went wrong she’d be devastated. Working at the Stag was a huge part of her income. She loved working with these guys, loved flirting with Dean, and if some misplaced moment of passion between them messed all of that up … what would she do? Was it worth that? Why had she never considered the possible fallout between them before?
She nodded. “I don’t want you to regret what we did. I think you know I’ve wanted that for a long time. But I also don’t want things to be awkward between us.”
He breathed in deep through his nose and stepped away from her. They continued to stare for one long moment. She hated that her photo shoot had forced them into this position.
“I’m sorry I’m being an ass. I’m just worn thin right now.” He ran a hand through his hair and then sat down hard in a char.
Charlotte followed his lead and sat, but she couldn’t help her sadness over the fact that he hadn’t voiced a lack of regret for their kiss. Damn.
She wasn’t going to be hurt by that.
“Don’t apologize. I understand there’s a lot on your plate. Planning a wedding alone is incredibly stressful. But don’t go bridezilla on me this early in the game.”
Dean’s eyes shot to hers, and then he let out a chuckle. Charlotte sighed in relief. Laughter always worked. Charlotte pulled the laptop from her bag.
Maybe I Do Page 11
