by Elena Aitken
But this is different.
“You don’t remember?” Missy took a step back, the hurt lining her face. “Really? You don’t remember the way I told you how I’d loved you for years?”
Stunned, he stood in front of her, dumbfounded.
“I kissed you, Nick.”
Still, he said nothing.
“And you kissed me back.”
He shook his head slightly.
“You did.” Her words were almost a cry. “And then you pushed me away and laughed at me.”
Nick struggled not to react to her words. He struggled not to reach for her and apologize and kiss away the pain those actions caused her so long ago. The actions he’d regretted for years. He wanted to do all of those things more than anything else in his life, but Jake’s words from earlier that day rang in his ears again. It would have ruined everything. So instead he said, “Missy, I’m sorry if you ever thought our relationship was—”
“Stop.” Missy shook her head and took a distancing step backward. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Whatever excuse you’re going to make, stop. I don’t want to hear it.” She put her hands on her ears like a child and stepped farther back into the wooded path. “I can’t hear it.”
“Missy.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I just can’t, Nick.” She turned away from him, and said the last words before she turned and fled into the trees. “Not again.”
* * *
As much as she wanted to, Marissa couldn’t stay away from the rehearsal dinner all night. She owed it to Jenny to be a good maid of honor—the best one, really. And that definitely included being at her side for the rehearsal despite the fact that her heart was completely shattered and she felt like the world’s biggest idiot.
She should have seen it coming. She sort of had seen it coming, really. Well, her subconscious had, anyway, with that dream.
But it was just a dream and this was real life and Nick Slater had broken her heart for the second time and she’d let him.
I thought this time was different.
Despite everything, the voice inside her continued to try to make sense of what had happened. But there was no sense to it.
In the cool evening air, Marissa took a deep breath and then another, trying desperately to clear her head. She needed to pull herself together before going back in there. It would almost be time for dinner and, unlike the first time Nick had embarrassed her and hurt her, she couldn’t just run away and avoid him for another eight years.
Besides, she was a bigger person than that. She was a strong, confident, self-assured woman. She would not let this define her.
Not again.
She made a quick stop in the restroom to splash water on her face and smooth her hair back before she headed back into the restaurant. It was perfect timing, as everyone was just finding their way to their seats. She did a quick scan around the room, and saw Nick in a corner, alone. He held a glass of what looked to be whiskey.
She looked away and went to find her seat.
Fortunately, there was an empty seat next to her mother. There didn’t seem to be place settings this time, so she slid into the spot and picked up her menu, pretending to be engrossed in the pasta options so she wouldn’t have to make conversation.
“Where’ve you been, honey?”
Clearly her mother wasn’t picking up on her I don’t want to talk vibes.
“I just went for a walk.”
“But it’s dark.”
Marissa nodded. “It is. I didn’t go far.”
“There are bears out there, Marissa.” She didn’t even have to look to know her mother’s face would be screwed up in worry and wrinkled in intense concern. If there was one thing her mother did well, it was worry. “And cougars. Marissa, we’re in the mountains. That was reckless.”
With a sigh, she put the menu down and made eye contact. “I promise it wasn’t reckless.” She tried very hard to keep her voice down. She didn’t want to attract any attention and if her mother continued on the way she was going, that’s exactly what they were going to do. “I was only outside for a minute and I stayed on the path. You could hardly even call it a walk.”
“Then why did you say it was a walk?”
Marissa sighed again and tried very hard not to get flustered. “Mom, it’s fine. Really. I just needed a few minutes alone. I was perfectly safe the whole time.”
“Who was safe?” Jake sat down across from them and immediately jumped into the conversation. “What’s going on? Marissa, why do you look so—”
“I’m safe,” she interrupted him before he could point out how terrible she looked. Because she did look terrible—how could she not? She felt even worse than she looked. “I just went for a little walk outside and Mom got her panties all in a twist about it. Nothing bad is going to happen to me at the Lodge, Mom.”
Unless you counted getting your heart broken, she wanted to add, but didn’t. She picked up her menu again and stared at the chicken rotini dish. She could eat it quickly and then beg off to finish her speech. Surely it was legitimate to use that excuse two nights in a row when you were the maid of honor.
Even if it wasn’t. Marissa wasn’t sure she cared anymore. She just wanted to get out of there. Away from Nick and his gaze that she could feel on her. Not that she would look to confirm. There was no way she was going to look at him.
She was going to hold her head up high and be strong because that was the only thing left to do.
Fortunately, her mother dropped her concern about Marissa’s safety and focused instead on the proceedings of the evening, which ultimately went quite quickly and smoothly. There were a few speeches and toasts and meals were served.
Somewhere around the time the dishes were being cleared and dessert was being prepared, Marissa noticed that Nick was gone.
Jake noticed her looking in the direction of Nick’s empty seat and leaned across the table. “Have you noticed that Nick’s acting weird this weekend?”
“No.” She shook her head quickly and looked away. “Why would you say that?”
“Because something’s up,” Jake mused. “I assumed it was just with work and the way he blew off his dad to be here. I mean, not that it couldn’t be the reason he’s acting strange, because no kidding, his job is totally on the line right now.”
“That must be it.”
“No,” her brother said. “There’s something more. He mentioned something about a woman earlier.”
Marissa’s ears perked up, but she tried even harder to look disinterested. “Did he?”
“Yes and no.” Jake took a sip of his drink before he turned his attention back to his sister. “He actually started to tell me about a girl he thought he loved way back in high school.”
Marissa almost spat out her drink.
“I told him it was crazy,” Jake said. “No one knows what they want in high school. Can you even imagine if you had to marry the one you thought you loved back then?”
She could imagine it. That was the whole problem.
Chapter Nine
“I really can’t deal with this right now, Dad.” Nick glanced at his watch. He was already late. He’d promised Jake he’d be in his room by ten to help him get ready for the wedding. And of course to calm his nerves. So far, he was failing his duties as his best man. But only because he’d made the mistake of answering his cell phone when it rang.
“You will deal with this right now, Nick,” his dad roared through the line. “This is my company and I will not have you treating it like a passing interest.”
“I’m not, Dad.” Nick put his dad on speakerphone while he moved around the room, gathering his things. “I told you, I’ll get on the plane first thing on Monday.”
“You’ll get on the plane tonight, son. You’re needed in meetings on Monday.”
“No.” He shook his head. His dad never was one for emotions of any kind and he didn’t have any friends to speak of, so Nick hadn’t been surprised when he
didn’t understand that Nick had to be present for Jake’s wedding. “My best friend is getting married, Dad. I can’t miss it.”
“Leave after the ceremony,” he said after a moment. “You can be in the city by seven and get on the eight o’clock flight.”
“No, Dad. It’s not—”
“It’s not an option, son. Get on the plane or I will find a new international affairs advisor.”
Nick froze. His father didn’t make idle threats. “Dad, that’s not fair. I’ve done everything for this company.”
“Not everything. You’re not in China.”
“I will be.” He picked up the phone and held it close to his mouth. “I cannot miss this wedding. It’s Jake. I’ll get on the flight on—”
“Tonight, Nick. It’s not negotiable.”
Nick opened his mouth to argue again, but his father had already hung up. “Dammit.” He threw the phone across the room and let it crash against the wall. Growing up, Nick thought his father to be cold and uncaring, but he hadn’t realized the scope of his father’s drive to succeed at all costs. Not until he’d started working for him. For the last few years, it hadn’t bothered him because Nick had largely ignored his father, as much as he could, anyway. But now...he had no choice.
There was no way he could ignore an ultimatum like that. Jake would understand. He would be there for the ceremony. That was the most important part, right? And the pictures...he could probably sneak in a few pictures before leaving. It was a two-hour drive back to the city and that would put him at the airport at six. It would be tight. But he could do it.
“Dammit.” He picked up his phone and shoved it in his pocket before he grabbed up his tux and rushed out of the room. He knew Missy wasn’t there. He’d heard her door open and shut hours earlier. And as much as he wanted to go out and talk to her about everything that had happened at the rehearsal dinner, he hadn’t.
The truth was, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to tell her about his feelings for her and how he’d been in love with her since they were kids. He didn’t know how to say any of that and then not pull her into his arms and never let go.
But he’d have to, because...Jake. How could he jeopardize everything?
Nick glanced in the direction of Missy’s room as he passed through their suite. It wouldn’t be an issue soon enough. He’d stick around for the wedding and then get out of there. And spend the next eight years trying to forget her.
Again.
Maybe this time it would actually work.
* * *
Marissa had spent the better part of the day primping and fussing. Mostly over the bride, but also a little bit on herself, too. Jenny was right: the dress she’d picked out for her, the real dress, was gorgeous and she felt beautiful in it. It was a soft coral, made with a soft, flowy fabric that hugged her bodice before falling into a light, airy skirt that flirted with her knees. It was too bad she wasn’t in the mood to be dressed up, have her hair done, or really...anything.
All Marissa really wanted to do was crawl into her bed and feel sorry for herself, not that it was an option. Especially not with the music starting and the time almost upon them.
“Are you ready?” Eva, the wedding planner, tapped her on the shoulder.
Marissa almost jumped. She managed a smile and a nod. “I’m ready.” She turned to Jenny, who looked stunning in her creamy lace gown. Her hair was twisted up in a simple knot with a few flowers tucked in that matched the bouquet of wildflowers in her hands. She looked like a princess.
“Jenny?” Marissa asked. “How are you doing?”
Her soon-to-be sister-in-law smiled broadly. “I’ve never been better.”
“And you look amazing.” Her father appeared at her side and kissed her cheek. “Is everyone ready to do this? You can change your mind, you know?” He was kidding, but Jenny shook her head.
“Never in a million years,” she said.
“Okay.” Eva grabbed Marissa’s hand. “That’s your cue.” She led her toward the door. “Remember. Walk slow, in time with the music. When you get to the altar, you can give your brother a little hug or whatever feels natural and then quickly take your place.”
Marissa nodded and stepped through the door.
The moment she started her walk down the aisle, everyone turned and all eyes were on her. But there was only one set of eyes she was worried about.
Nick was watching her. She could feel it, but she refused to look. They hadn’t spoken at all last night, nor this morning. In fact, the last time they exchanged words was when she’d lost her temper and told him exactly how she felt.
It was mortifying.
But she couldn’t think of that right now. She could only think about keeping the smile on her face and holding it together long enough for Jake and Jenny to get married. Then she could fall apart.
Somehow, she reached the altar and moved in to give her big brother a hug. She squeezed her eyes shut and whispered in his ear. “I’m so proud of you, Jake. Jenny is amazing.”
“Thanks, sis. That means a lot.” Was it her imagination or did her brother sound choked up? She opened her eyes to check, but instead of seeing Jake, she looked directly into Nick’s eyes.
He smiled at her and she froze.
“You look beautiful.” He mouthed the words, but she could hear them as if he’d yelled them at her.
She hesitated a moment longer before Jake took a step back and she remembered that she was supposed to take her place.
Quickly, she looked away and went to stand on the other side of the altar. Marissa could feel Nick’s eyes on her, but she purposely kept them averted, focusing instead on the door where Jenny would be appearing.
Seconds later, a gasp went up from the crowd when Jenny stepped out of the door with her father.
She was even more stunning than she’d been a moment ago. A quick glance at her brother confirmed that Jake was thinking the same thing. His bride was gorgeous.
The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur as the happy couple exchanged their vows next to the little pond in the courtyard where only a few days earlier, she and Nick had exchanged a kiss.
It wasn’t real. She had to continually remind herself that there was nothing real between them. There hadn’t been eight years ago, and there wasn’t now.
Finally, the music started for the procession. Jenny and Jake waved their hands in the air to whoops and hollers from the crowd and danced down the aisle. A second later, Marissa was jolted out of her trance by the hot touch of Nick’s hand on her bare skin.
She yanked it away before she realized they were meant to walk down the aisle together.
“Missy,” he whispered under his breath. “We have to go.”
She nodded and allowed him to take her hand. Somehow she managed a smile despite the intense feelings crashing through her just from the touch of Nick’s skin on hers. Thankfully, Nick was in control as they did their own little dance and celebration down the aisle and around the corner, out of sight from the guests.
The moment it was safe, she yanked her hand away from him and wrapped it tightly around her bouquet.
“Missy, I—” Nick tried to grab her hand back, but she turned and gave Jake and Jenny a big hug.
“Congratulations, you two! I’m so happy for you.” She didn’t even have to fake the smile as she congratulated her brother and new sister-in-law. There was no couple in the entire world she could be happier for.
“Me too.” Nick’s arms were around her as he encompassed them all in a bear hug. She couldn’t help it, she stiffened, but determined not to make a scene, forced herself to relax. “It was a beautiful wedding, man,” Nick was saying. “I couldn’t be happier for you guys.”
“It’s not over yet,” Jake said as the hug mercifully broke up. “Tonight is when the real celebrating happens. And I can’t wait to see your dance that you two have been working on.”
The dance. She’d forgotten all about the dance. There was no way. She couldn
’t. Marissa started to shake her head, but Jake stopped her.
“I bet you thought that the dance was a practical joke, just like the bridesmaid dress?”
“Only you would think of pranking me on your wedding day, big brother.”
“Maybe,” he said. “But the dance isn’t a prank.”
“What?”
“It’s not,” Jenny chimed in. “I really think it’ll be awesome to see you two do the dance. And when Jake told me it was your favorite movie, well...I can’t wait to see what you two have come up with.”
She shook her head again and backed up. Directly into Nick, whose hands came up to her shoulders. She couldn’t make a scene, but the touch of him on her bare skin was almost more than she could handle.
“About the dance,” Nick said. “Jake, I need to talk to you for a minute.”
* * *
It wasn’t the best time, but he needed to tell Jake he had to leave. That he needed to acquiesce to his father and get on a flight to China, even if it was his best friend’s wedding. However, the moment he had his best friend’s attention, with his new bride at his side, and Missy standing there with his hands on her soft, delicate shoulders, he couldn’t do it.
“What about the dance?”
He opened his mouth to tell him he was leaving.
Missy turned and looked at him, a question in her eyes. It stopped him.
Jake would understand if he left. Heck, Jenny would understand, too. But Missy...if he left now, it would be over. Any chance he might have to fix things or see where they could go would be gone. He’d walked away once, leaving her crushed and his own heart battered as well.
In that instant, it was clear.
He couldn’t do it again.
He wouldn’t.
And even though he had no idea how he could possibly explain to his best friend that even though he’d made it perfectly clear to stay away from his sister...he simply couldn’t. Because he was totally and completely in love with Missy and it was way past due that he tell her exactly how he felt...
Even though he had no idea how to do any of that, Nick just knew the one thing he couldn’t do again—wouldn’t do again—was break her heart.