Three Score and Ten, What Then?

by Peggy Mary E. Smith

  I went and talked to Logan and told him my decision. I agreed to take him up on his offer of housekeeper and nanny. He said he’d pay me a small salary each month and give us all room and board. He was delighted and said he’d get the house ready to accommodate us. A week later, we all moved to the house behind Ashton’s General Store and I became a housekeeper and nanny. It was my first paying job. I sure was hoping that it was all going to work out. My children didn’t need any more troubles in their young lives to have to deal with, and neither did I.”

  ashton’s general store

  “Logan and Martha Ashton had purchased their store in 1916. They had come north on their honeymoon to visit one of Martha’s aunts. Logan’s family were store owners in the Toronto area. His two older brothers would eventually take over the business from their father. Even though Logan had a job at the family store, he knew that he didn’t really have a future there. He needed to find another way to provide for his new wife.

  Martha’s aunt had spoke of the General Store being for sale, and they went to check it out. Martha fell in love with it right off. It had a quaint setting in the little village. The store itself wasn’t all it could have been, but with Logan’s retail experience they saw lots of potential. Logan discussed the details with the owners and cut a good deal. He and Martha became the new owners within a month. They got busy right away. With lots of elbow grease and a new coat of paint inside and out, the store soon took on a new appearance.

  The previous owners had mostly stocked leather goods and blacksmith supplies. They carried only the basics where groceries were concerned. They had no yarn goods and a limited quantity of dried goods. Logan had lots of connections from his years of working for his father. His store had one of the few telephones in the area, and the railway stationhouse was across the road. With these tools to help him, he soon had lots of new stock in the store. The surrounding community was enthused with the Ashton’s new variety of supplies and greatly supported their business. The locals had been having to make the long trip into the bigger settlement to the west to get a lot of supplies for years. Now Ashton’s was bringing those necessities closer to them.

  Logan and Martha were soon able to expand the store and carry even a larger variety of supplies. They had been fortunate to buy the store at a time in history when things boomed. The war had brought prosperity to the local farming community. In return, the farmers gave their business to Ashton’s General Store. In no time the store turned into a very prosperous business.

  It took a few years before Martha and Logan were able to start a family. The doctor had told Martha that he wasn’t sure whether she would be able to bear children. Then after much disappointment, James came along. Then with no trouble at all, they were blessed with John and Janice.

  Janice was only a year old when Martha had a fourth baby. The baby had its umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. It had been another girl, but she was born dead. Martha was guilt-ridden. There was no way anyone could have known. There were no such things as ultrasounds or technical equipment that they use today. Lots of terrible things happened back in those times during childbirth.

  Six months later Martha conceived again. As it turned out, that baby was too big for Martha to deliver. Martha exhausted herself trying, but they both perished. Logan felt responsible. He and Martha had agreed not to conceive again after their fourth child was born dead, but things happen, and Martha died.

  After I had accepted Logan’s offer to take the position of housekeeper and nanny, I got busy and packed up the farmhouse. Moving was always a difficult task. Logan brought his truck over, and we piled all our belongings on it. The Harmons came and got our last cow and chickens. They had been the remaining livestock we had kept after the farm was sold. It was heart-wrenching to walk out of the farmhouse door that final time. Even though it had not belonged to us that last year, it was still home. Now we were starting over. For the very first time in my whole life, and my children’s, we would be residing in a settlement. We had always lived on farmland out in the countryside. It surely was a new beginning for us all.

  We moved to the Ashton’s home in June of 1926. It proved to be a favourable opportunity for everyone. After a few months, we all adjusted to the new living arrangements and formed a level of comfort with each other. Logan’s oldest son, James, was the only one to show any sign of resentment towards me or my children. That was very understandable considering the circumstances. In a short time, he accepted our presence in his home and warmed up to us.

  School was out for the summer by the time we moved. Murray and Mary Beth were home to help get things sorted out. We hadn’t brought many things from the farm, mostly just our clothes and some of the children’s furnishings. The other things we wanted to keep, but had no use for at that time, were put into storage in a shed behind the store.

  I had my hands full with seven children and a household to run. The twins were ten. Logan’s eldest son, James, was six. His second son, John, was four. He was the same age as Charity. Chase was three, and Logan’s youngest child, Janice, was two. It was a real house full.

  Logan was a very generous man. He gave the big bedroom to Mary Beth and me to share. Charity shared a bedroom with Janice. John and James already shared a room, and Murray and Chase shared the fourth bedroom. Logan moved downstairs into his study.

  Since he owned the store, we were never in need of groceries. We had never eaten so well, nor had I ever had the privilege of not worrying how to stretch a dollar. I still maintained my thrifty ways and never took advantage of the situation. For that, I think Logan admired me.

  It didn’t take long before the Ashton children won over my heart. They were all good little ones. Janice was a sweetheart. She got on real well with Chase and Charity. They all played well together.

  That fall when school started, Murray and Mary Beth enrolled in the school in the village. It was just down the road. James started school that year as well. They all headed out together that first day. Mary Beth was holding James’s hand. He was really apprehensive about the whole idea, but was comforted to have a companion to go with.

  Life settled into a routine. We all seemed to get along and lived together in a peaceful fashion. Logan had taken Murray under his wing. He often got Murray to do chores for him in the store or sent him out on deliveries. For his efforts, Murray was always compensated generously. I wasn’t so sure I was in total agreement as I felt the children all needed to learn responsibilities without always being offered payment. Logan didn’t want to take advantage.

  Mary Beth was given opportunities to help as well. She really liked to help clean and stock the shelves when new merchandise came in. She had a real flair for setting up the displays of woolen and yard goods. Logan said she had a keen sense for colour matching.

  Logan would ask for my opinion when it came to the ladies’ wear. He said that Martha had always looked after the ordering of those things. He especially wanted my input when new colours and styles came available. The world had changed somewhat by this time. We were in the roaring twenties. The “Charleston” was the new dance craze. It was a time of the flappers and bobbed hairstyles for women. I hadn’t had much interest in keeping up with the latest trends. My lifestyle had never offered me that luxury.

  At first I wasn’t sure if my ideas were beneficial. I had never had any experience in storekeeping. I had never been able to afford store-bought ladies’ wear either, never mind staying attuned to style. I soon discovered that I enjoyed being somewhat involved in the store business. It was interesting learning all that was entailed in running a store.

  I started to get to know Logan on a different level. I soon realized that we were becoming good friends. We were comfortable spending time together, and we respected each other. We were no longer just employer and housekeeper. We were all melding and bonding. The children looked out for each other and acted like siblings. Without even thinking about it, we were all becoming a family.

&nbs
p; It sure did my heart good to see all the children in a happy environment. They seemed to be thriving once again, and I was finally starting to make peace with the sad events of the past years. It had been a good decision to take Logan up on his offer. Ashton’s General Store offered us a new beginning and a new life. At twenty-nine years old, I started what was to become a new era of my life.”

  love comes softly

  “We had been living with the Ashton’s for several years when it dawned on me one day that I was truly content and happy. Life certainly had a way of working out. The children were all flourishing. They had all grown and melded together like a family. We had found our place. Charity and John had started school that fall. Chase and Janice were the only ones at home. They were five and four. James was nine. Murray and Mary Beth turned thirteen. They were in grade seven. Time was marching on.

  Ashton’s General Store was a going concern. Logan was pleased with how well the business was doing. There was talk about electricity being brought out to the village the coming year. Logan was anticipating expanding in order to accommodate refrigerated units. He was excited. Life was sure changing in our neck of the woods. It was hard to conceive how far we had come in forty years since those first settlers had ventured to this northern area. Things had gone from primitive to civilized. Now we were working on modernized.

  Not every day was rosy, though. Even back then, there were folks who had too much time on their hands and would spend hours poking their nose in someone else’s business. Gossiping is not a new pastime. Some folks just can’t be happy for others. They always have to be looking for something to say, whether it’s truthful or not. There had been rumours around the village about Logan and my living arrangements. People gossiped and tried to insinuate that I was doing more than housekeeping and childcare duties. I would chuckle when one of our friends would dare to mention the rumours to me. Logan didn’t take the gossip so lightly. He said he didn’t like to see my reputation questioned.

  It didn’t bother me very much. I tried to laugh it off and joke when Logan would bring up the subject. I knew in my heart what the truth was. I also knew that those who did the most gossiping had more sins to hide than Logan and I ever would. I remembered what Pa had said to us when we were little ones in school when other children would tease and torment us. Pa said to never mind them. Sometimes people just don’t know what they just don’t know. They go about making false accusations from lack of information. You just have to turn your other cheek and live better. No truer words spoken.

  Logan Ashton had never been anything less than a gentleman around me and the children. Our relationship was that of friendship. We trusted and respected each other. We had come to depend on each other, and enjoyed the comfort of each other’s company. It was not an intimate relationship as those malicious gossips suspected, so we just turned our other cheek. The fact was we probably shared a better relationship than lots of married folk. Maybe that’s why the rumours started. Sheer jealousy.

  Even though Logan was a serious businessman, he was a real free spirit. He loved to explore the countryside. In the summer months, after we had attended church on Sunday mornings, I would pack a picnic lunch, and we’d all pile into Logan’s automobile and drive around sightseeing. We usually stopped at a waterfront area to picnic. The children and I would swim and frolic in the water. It was such a gay time for all of us. Logan wasn’t much of a swimmer, but he enjoyed sitting in the shade watching the children having a good time. Sometimes he’d take a little snooze. Other times, we would pack fishing poles so he and the children could enjoy an afternoon of fishing, trying to get a catch of trout for supper.

  In the winter, we dressed the children up warm and piled them in the back of our Ford pickup. There were a few good hills in the township to go sliding on. Logan saved the waxed boxes from store supplies. The children would slide like greased lightning down the hills. Sometimes we’d pick up some of the neighbour children and take them with us. We’d make a fire and toast sandwiches and brew a big pot of hot cocoa. The children loved that. They’d climb up the hill until they were plumb wore out. Their woollen mittens and trousers would be caked with snow. Even Logan and I’d take turns. Sometimes three or four other families would show up, and the parents would enjoy a good old chinwag.

  On other occasions we’d stop over at the homestead. Of course, the children really had a good time at Ma and Pa’s. Colton’s children always kept a rink shoveled off on the lake. Some of the children would just enjoy skating about, and others would have a game of hockey. Those were always good times.

  On one of those occasions, Ma and I were sitting on a log bench watching all the children. She was reminiscing about when us children had been young and how we had loved the lake so. She said it made her heart sing to see all the little ones having so much fun together. She commented on how well my children were all doing and how healthy and happy I had become of late. She said that our being with Logan had certainly been a God-sent blessing.

  Then out of the blue, Ma asked me if I was in love with Logan. The question caught me off guard. I wasn’t sure what she was getting at. I said that he had become a very dear friend, and we both shared a great respect for one another. In that manner, I loved him dearly, but we shared no romantic intentions. It wasn’t like when I had fallen in love with Jed and Royce.

  I remember her reply like it was yesterday. She turned to me and said, “You know, Savannah, love isn’t always lust and heat between two bodies. Sometimes love comes softly. I see it in your eyes. The way you and Logan look at each other. I know he is in love with you, and you with him. I think that you both have just been through so much that neither of you want to pursue it. You should both think about that.”

  I was a little bit flabbergasted. I had taken it for granted, thinking that Logan and I just simply had a great arrangement. We weren’t courting or dating. Neither of us was trying to win the other over in a romantic fashion. We never spoke of such things. I told Ma she was reading too much into it, but she said that our feelings were very transparent. Others had seen it, too. She just didn’t want to see us wasting precious time together, denying the obvious.

  One night soon after, when the children were in bed sleeping, Logan and I were sitting by the fire reading. I was thinking about what Ma had said to me when Logan noticed that I was deep in thought and asked me what I was thinking on. I wasn’t so sure if I knew how to go about talking to him about the subject, or whether I even should. “Oh, nothing really,” I said.

  “Are you sure? You look like there’s something important on your mind.” he said.

  “Well, I’m not real sure how to go about talking about it. I’m not so sure that I should,” I said.

  “Oh, dear. Is something wrong Anna? Are you ill?” Logan asked.

  “No, no. Well, not that kind of sickness anyways,” I kind of chuckled.

  “Dear God, Anna, tell me what’s going on. The suspense is killing me now. I thought something serious was going on, but now you’re laughing,” he said.

  I hesitated a second, then, I continued. I could feel my face getting hot and knew that it was turning red. I felt a little embarrassed talking about it, “Well, it’s something that Ma said to me the other day when we were at the farm down at the lake. She asked me if I was in love with you.”

  “Oh,” he said. He sounded as shocked as I had when Ma had asked me herself. “Well, what did you say?”

  I looked at Logan’s face and gazed into his eyes, “I told her that I do love you and that we are really dear friends, but she said that she knew better. She said that she could tell that we were in love. She could see it in our eyes.”

  Logan got up from his chair and came over to me. He reached out and took my hand and smiled. He rubbed the back of my hand on his cheek, then gently kissed it. The words he then spoke brought tears to my eyes.

  “I know your mother is right about one thing, for sure. I do love you, Savannah. I respect you for the
wonderful person you are. I trust you with my heart and everything that I have. You, my dear, are my best friend. I’d marry you tonight if you would have me as your husband. I would be proud to have you as my wife. I would certainly enjoy all the pleasantries that come with married life. I just don’t want to jeopardize the relationship we share with each other or with the children.”

  That was a pivotal moment in my life. I knew that I did love Logan, and not just as a friend, but as a man. Ma was right. I was hiding behind the pain of loss. I didn’t want to admit that I loved Logan for the man he was, but I did love him. He was more than a friend. At that moment, I felt I could no longer deny it. With tear filled eyes and trembling hands, I told Logan I loved him, too.

  Two weeks later, in February, 1929, we were married in a quiet ceremony. We had Ma and Pa, the rest of my family, and a few friends back to our home for supper to celebrate. We were married, and I was Mrs. Logan Ashton. There was no more need for gossip. I would be indulging in more than housekeeping and childcare duties. Logan had preserved my reputation and had made an honest woman out of me. I was a married woman again.”

  Beth chuckled, “So that’s how Grandpa popped the question. Happy times at last.”

  “Yes, dear, happy times, but not easy times. Life still had some curves left to throw at us.”

  the depression years

  “On Tuesday, October 29, 1929, the biggest stock market crash in history occurred. We all remember that day as “Black Tuesday”. That’s when “The Great Depression” got started. It affected every country round the world. It is said that Canada was the hardest hit, and it took us the longest to recuperate. I was in my early thirties back then, and I recall feeling quite fearful when we got word of it all. Of course, with Logan being a business man, he had a good idea what it all meant. Perhaps that made it worse.