by A. J. Downey
Faith was a beautiful mess. I didn’t fault her for that in the slightest, not after what’d been done to her. It was going to be a long haul to reel her back in from the devastation that’d been visited on her. I still didn’t know if she would ever be quite right. Don’t suppose anybody could be after something like that. Better, sure, but some things left indelible marks that nothing would ever take away completely.
The struggle to pull my mind off of Faith and onto getting to my boat and whoever was on it off it, was real. I gave the throttle and the handlebars a twist, gently guiding myself out onto the street. The ride to the marina was way too fuckin’ short, and did nothing to quench my thirst for beating the brakes off my brother. I backed my bike into my garage and locked her in. I was intentionally taking my time to piss off Johnny-boy, but at the same time I was itching to get on my boat and get this fishing trip over with. I double checked my pockets and satisfied my cargo was intact, headed for the dock my boat was moored at.
The Scarlett Ann was a thing of beauty. Forty-two feet and state of the art, she was all business, except when she was my home, which was when she was docked here. I tried to keep the scowl off my face as I made strides up the dock and down to my slip. Couldn’t help it when I heard the off key singing and the discordant notes I was pretty sure was coming out of my guitar.
I hoisted myself up and onto my deck to four curious faces looking in my direction. Two dudes and two chicks, all young, like in their twenties and my fucking brother was not among them. The dude sitting in one of my deck chairs guiltily lowered my guitar and the dude that had been standing, back to the railing wasn’t laughing anymore, but damn sure wanted to be friendly like. He stuck out his hand all bright and eager and I had to keep repeating to myself, over and over, he’s a paying customer, don’t deck him. He’s a paying customer, be nice.
“Hi! You must be Jimmy.”
“Marlin,” I grated and begrudgingly took the dude’s hand. It took everything in me not to crush his fucking fingers in my grip. “Folks around here call me Marlin,” I said and forced a smile onto my face. As soon as this ordeal was over I was gonna have words with my brother and I’d probably let my fists do the talking. This shit was a million fucking miles away from cool.
“Right, Marlin. I’m Kevin, this is Douglas and this is my fiancé Karen, and Doug’s girlfriend Kristen.”
I pinned Dougie-boy with a look, “Does that belong to you?” I asked, eyeing my guitar.
“Uh, no…” he answered.
“Then why are your fucking hands on it?”
He hastily set my guitar aside and I turned back to Kevin and asked, “Any idea where my brother John is?”
“He went to get some ice,” the blonde chick introduced as Karen pitched in.
“Uh huh, well, when this ain’t our fishing boat, it’s my home. You didn’t know that though, did you?” Four heads shook as one and I nodded. Fuck my fucking brother sideways.
“In any case, welcome aboard,” I said in a grudging attempt to ease the tension in the air my temper had caused, “Soon as Johnny shows up, we’ll get underway.”
“Woah! Johnny’s right here!” my brother called cheerfully from the dock. I turned and he heaved a bag of ice up to me. I caught it and glared murder at him. The little shit just smiled up at me and oh, the fuck yeah, I would be wiping that shit right off his fucking face when we were done here, if not sooner.
Johnny’s smile faltered as we loaded the built-in coolers on deck with ice. I left my brother to it while I set about starting up and casting off. The four paying customers began to ease up and relax under my brother’s routine, which was fine by me. It was why we were partners in the first place. He dealt with certain kinds of people better than I could. Usually, the yuppie kind. I got along better with the true sport fishermen, but the amateurs paid more. I could teach them, even had the patience to teach them right – what I didn’t have the patience for, especially now, was the small talk aspect of things.
All I’d wanted to do was come to the boat and grab my fucking laptop. I didn’t need to be out here with these fucking yahoos, and neither would my damn brother if he didn’t spend his share down to the fucking wire every time he got a bit of cash in his pocket. Greedy little prick. He was a lot like Danny’d been that way.
I undid the ropes and started to cast off. Johnny moved over to help and we worked in unison, the silence between us thick and alive, sitting heavy like one of Hossler’s fuckin’ snakes in the grass. Motionless, but you knew it was about to strike, could tell by that stillness.
I could barely keep a lid on it, and the way my brother kept glancing at me, these furtive looks to gauge how pissed off I was? Well, that shit wasn’t helping. All it did was serve to piss me off more. Johnny moved closer to me and I knew he was about to say something so I did what I had to do to keep it cool. I took a deep breath and held it, bit the inside of my cheek, and kept my hands busy coiling the line.
“Dude, I’m sorry it had to come to this but…”
“Stop right there, little brother. I don’t want no cock and bull fuckin’ sob story about your money troubles. I’m here, I’m doin’ it, but while I do, you need to shut the fuck up and keep your guests happy. We’ll talk about it when they’re gone. I’ll tell you this right now, though.” I leaned in real close and brought myself eye to eye with my brother, “You ever let anyone on my boat and you ain’t glued to their ass, or I’m not already here, I will fucking end you Johnny boy. This is my home you little cock weasel. I don’t let my boys into your house randomly. Don’t you ever. You get me?”
I’d talked to Danny like this a million times, but I could only count on one hand the number of times I’d been this pissed at Johnny. Usually he and I were on an even keel. Then Danny’d died. Right after he’d knocked up his cunt of a wife, and rushed the wedding. Then, as soon as she’d dropped one kid, he’d knocked her up with the next. Wasn’t no way he was getting away from that judgmental, gold digging bitch. Lynn had her hook set in deep and Johnny’d swallowed it. There weren’t no catch and release when that happened. Not that I’d trade my niece and nephew for anything. Cute as bug’s ears. The both of them.
I just wish my brother would grow some fuckin’ balls and handle his woman. It was her spending that landed him in a tailspin nine times out of ten. She had her way, she’d work my brother to the bone. Even if he left her, he couldn’t, and wouldn’t leave his kids. She’d bleed his ass dry through child support anyhow. Still, I was getting tired of it. More so now that I had Faith to look out for. Second chances didn’t come around every day, and she was mine. I couldn’t save Danny, from the dope, or from himself… but Faith was different. She needed saving from the same demons, sure, but not from herself. Not as far as I could see anyways.
I was pretty certain that she didn’t want to go back to that poison, even if the opportunity presented itself. The deck was stacked in my favor this time. I aimed to take full advantage. Get her clean, get her clear, get her the help that she needed, and set her free. Get her to a point she didn’t need me, or no one else, to rely on. It was a long fuckin’ road ahead.
Some wise old fucker once said that a journey of a thousand miles started with one step, or some shit. We weren’t but ten into this journey, and had a lot of steps left to take. While I knew I needed to work for a livin’, I thought I would have a little more time before I had to get back to it. Guess not. The knot of anger between my shoulder blades eased some as I took the wheel and started the Scarlett Ann’s engines.
Bein’ pissed the fuck off wasn’t gonna get me anywhere. While it was true that my brother had some shit to answer for, there wasn’t no getting to it right now. I might as well relax and enjoy the wind, the waves, and the fan-fucking-tastic weather we had for this. Besides, the sooner I got us out to sea, and these dipshits set, the sooner I could sit down with my laptop and hook up Faith’s present the way I wanted it. Maybe it would give her some peace. Something to focus on, making going outside, and
around other people, a little easier to swallow.
Johnny kept the two guys and their girls happy while I piloted us out into the open waters. I was hoping this trip would end up skunked, that nothing would bite, but I was probably going to be disappointed. The conditions were great. When we got out to one of the better fishing spots, I killed the engine and went to help my little brother get the customers set.
Both dudes were fired up to fish, and so was one of the chicks, the brunette, Kristen. Karen, the blonde, was content to lounge in the shade with a tablet in her lap. Fine by me. One less rod to man when the time came. Although, it wasn’t like Kristen would be able to pull anything these rods were made for in; not by herself. Hell, I wouldn’t even put her in the gear. She’d be ripped right over the side. She didn’t have enough body weight to her to counterbalance what one of these fish could do, despite her athletic build. I wouldn’t put her much over a buck, she was just that petite. I caught Johnny’s eye and he waved me off. He knew what I was thinkin’, I didn’t even have to say it. There were several things my brother and I had no problem agreeing on, and safety for our customers and patrons was at the top of the list.
If Kristen’s rod snagged something, it looked like I’d be the one fightin’ whatever she’d caught on her line. As much as I hated to admit it, it was my turn to deal with it. Still, I would have time to do what I wanted to get done if I left Johnny to do the hard labor getting them set up the rest of the way, which is what I did. I’d wipe the dirty look off his face later. It wasn’t my idea, or need, to even fuckin’ be out here anyways; goddammit.
I left the trio and their rods to my brother to deal with, and ducked below deck to retrieve my laptop. At least it was where I’d left it, unlike my fuckin’ guitar. I came back up and dropped into a deck chair next to the blonde girl who didn’t even look up from her e-reader tablet thingy. Good deal. I didn’t want to chit chat anyways. I opened up the laptop and started it up, clicking out of the business software book keeping crap I’d left undone before taking off on our wild ride to the crescent city. I could do it later; in fact, I’d bring it back with me to Cutter’s place. I could do it while Faith was sleeping or doing her staring out the window thing. Just because I wasn’t out on the water, didn’t mean there wasn’t shit to be done for the business.
I pulled the little iPod I’d picked up in town out of my pocket and plugged it in to my laptop. I didn’t know if I had everything I wanted to put on it. I mean, I knew I had a song or two… I clicked through my iTunes account and, “Ha!” I must have uttered it aloud because Karen roused herself from whatever she was reading and looked over.
“Ashes & Embers, didn’t take you for the type to like them. You struck me as more of a classic rock kind of guy.”
I glanced at her sideways, “I like all sorts of sh-,” I stopped myself, “Stuff.” I muttered belatedly and admittedly a little distractedly, “Besides, it isn’t for me.”
I actually had one of A&E’s first albums, not the one with Hope Never Dies on it, though. Still, it was my intention to put their entire discography onto this thing for Faith, and I aimed to get the rest downloaded and onto it right now, that is, if I had enough cell signal to get my hotspot working. It was tough out here on the water. They hadn’t invented cell towers for the ocean yet, and I hoped to God they never fucking did. I sighed in frustration when I realized we were just this side of too far out and that I didn’t have enough juice to get it done.
“What provider do you have?” Karen asked. I told her and she swiped across her phone.
“Try mine, they have the best signal. Password for my hotspot is…” I gave it a shot, knowing it wasn’t likely, but no dice. I sighed.
“Thanks, anyhow.” I grated and snapped the laptop closed.
“Who’s it for?” she asked smiling.
“Who’s what for?”
“The iPod.”
“How do you know it’s not for me?” I asked.
She laughed lightly, “Just like I didn’t figure you for an Ashes & Embers fan, I really don’t figure a guy like you is much into the color pink. A&E, a pink iPod shuffle… well that screams one thing and one thing only, my friend. Who is she?”
“What do you do for a living?” I asked, chuckling to myself. The girl was sharp.
“I’m in school, actually. Finishing up my master’s degree in psychology.”
“Ah,” I nodded in understanding and set to work folding up the cord to the little music player. “She seems like she would like the color pink,” I mumbled, suddenly embarrassed with the idea of giving her the gift. Shit, I was overstepping. I had to be overstepping. This was a dumbassed idea, for sure.
“You don’t know what colors she likes?” she asked, and shit, it looked like I’d piqued her curiosity.
“She’s my President’s, Ol’ Lady’s sister,” I said, then figured I might as well go for broke, “Hope isn’t especially fond of the color pink, and Faith, I don’t know. I figured if Hope wasn’t a fan then it would stand to reason Faith might be. Besides, it was between pink and silver and the silver looked… boring.” I shrugged.
“You really like this girl, Faith,” she stated flatly.
I looked over at her, “Oh, yeah? What makes you say that?”
She laughed lightly again, “No man puts that much thought into what color iPod a girl would like if he wasn’t totally either in love with her, or wasn’t falling hard. It’s okay. I think it’s great, personally. She’s very lucky.” She looked over at her man, the respectful one, Kevin.
“He would do that for me, agonize over the color when I would just be over the moon that he’d bought me such an expensive, and thoughtful gift. I’m sure she’ll love it.”
I cleared my throat, still uncomfortable that I’d sorta been caught bein’ such a softy. Finally, I sighed and decided that now would probably be as good a chance as any. That she might know, bein’ as it was her line of schooling and all.
“Yeah, I don’t know how to do this,” I said snapping the laptop shut and leaning heavily back in my seat.
“Do what?”
“Faith, she uh, she’s been through a lot and recently too. Some real heavy shit. Some seriously awful shit I wouldn’t wish on no woman.” I looked over at Karen and she softened, switching off her e-reader and setting it aside on the small deck table, on top of my laptop where I’d set it; right next to the music player in its offending bright pink color.
“Talk to me,” she invited.
“She’s been messed up pretty hard,” I cleared my throat, “I shouldn’t really be talking about it but you might know somethin’ about how to…” I groped in the dark for the right words, “I don’t know, how I could handle myself better surrounding her situation.”
“I would have to know something about it before I could speak on it.”
“She’s a mess, addicted to heroin, and only a few days out of the worst of the detox. We got her going to some kind of head shrinker to help her, her first appointment is tomorrow,” I was dancing around the ugliest part about it and I knew it, but saying it out loud still made me fuckin’ sick and the anger surge hot and ridiculous.
Finally, I sighed out harshly and rushed out, “She was sold into white slavery. Trafficked for the better part of the last couple of years as a hooker in New Orleans. They were shooting that shit into her veins, keeping her hooked to keep her docile. I know what to expect when it comes to the whole addiction rigmarole, but I ain’t got a fuckin’ clue when it comes to the rest.”
I couldn’t believe I was spillin’ my guts to this chick, a total stranger, a paying customer on my boat. I was a little startled to realize just how far down the rabbit hole I’d gone when it came to Faith. Just how far fuckin’ gone I’d been right from the beginning; from the moment I’d lifted her too-thin frame up into my arms, and carried her out of that house of fuckin’ horrors back in New Orleans.
Karen sat up straighter and wrapped her fingers around one knee, very prim and proper. I had
to give it to her, she didn’t flinch; instead, you could visibly see the gears in her pretty little head turning, her blue eyes sparking with intelligence.
“Right, you said that you’re getting Faith some help, right?” She searched my face to make sure I wasn’t blowing smoke up her ass. I liked her for that.
“Yeah, her sister found some doctor that specializes in cases like Faith. Some woman who’s like top in her field. I take Faith out to see her tomorrow.”
“Okay, obviously there isn’t really anything I could, or should be doing there, seeing as I am both still in school and unlicensed. I shouldn’t even really be talking to you about you,” she frowned but it wasn’t at me, more like at the situation. “In all honesty, I think you need to find someone to talk to or lean on yourself. Doesn’t have to be a professional, but being on the front line, or a first responder to something like this takes its toll.” I nodded.
“I got my brothers.” Cutter’d told me if I needed someone to reach out to, he’d be there. I knew I could depend on him, or any one of the guys if I really needed to. I guess I just wanted an opinion from the outside. Somethin’ a little more removed from the situation and here she was, all trained and shit. Well, mostly trained. The Universe provides, all you had to do was be willing to accept what it had on offer.
Karen nodded after several moments of reluctant silence, we both turned as Kristen let out a peal of laughter at something my brother said. Johnny caught my eye and the murder in his said he’d overheard some of what Karen and I were talkin’ about, and that he wasn’t happy. Well, fuck him, I wasn’t happy either. The only real concern I had right now was how to do right by Faith.
Karen gave me an appraising look and sucked in a breath, “Let’s go back,” she said, “I want to ask you a question.”
