“Man, I can’t believe she told you that.” He sighed. “Yes, her very favorite thing to play last year was beauty shop. I was okay with her fixing my hair, but I really didn’t want my nails done.” He grinned. “So I got pretty good at painting hers.”
Emily felt her heart melt again, just like it had when Mary Kate had first told her the story. A man who was confident enough to let his niece fix his hair and learn to do her nails was pretty special. “She said you were better at it than her mom, but she whispered so Sarah wouldn’t hear.”
He laughed. “She’s so funny. I hope I have a kid just like her someday.”
Emily nodded. “Do you want a big family?”
“I guess that depends on how you define big. I’m not one of those people who wants enough kids for my own football team or anything, but I’d like two or three. Provided my wife is onboard with that plan, of course.”
She smiled. “Glad that you see the importance of that.”
He chuckled. “Of course.”
The waiter put heaping platters of food on the table. “Let me know if you need anything else.”
“Thank you,” Andrew said.
Not only does he play beauty shop with his niece, but he’s also polite to the waiter. I’m in trouble. “It looks delicious.”
“Mind if I pray?”
Emily hesitated for a moment then shook her head. “Not at all.” She bowed her head as he thanked God for the food and for their time together. Once he said amen, she met his eyes across the table.
What would he think about her if he knew she’d been struggling with her faith for years? His seemed so strong. Would that be the end of their burgeoning relationship?
***
Andrew watched Emily smile at the waiter as he removed the plate from in front of her. It wasn’t just that she was attractive. There was something about her that put him at ease. He knew instinctively that they could be having just as good of a time if they were wearing casual clothes and driving through McDonald’s in his old truck.
He felt warm inside when he was around her.
Happy.
Light.
Those were things he hadn’t felt in a long time.
And the weird thing was that he hadn’t realized how much he missed feeling that way. It was like his life had become so humdrum and monotonous that he’d just believed that was the way it was supposed to be.
Even though he was still apprehensive, maybe he should give things with her a fair shot. A real shot. And he knew that meant letting go of the past.
“You okay?” Emily asked. “You look like you’re somewhere else.”
He met her concerned brown eyes. “I’m great.” He quickly signed the receipt and put it on the table. “Are you ready?”
They left the restaurant and stepped out into the sticky heat.
“I have to admit, I love summer.” Andrew took her hand as they waited to cross the street. “But I’ll be glad for fall weather.”
Emily laughed. “I know what you mean. Although just wait until you go through your first Memphis winter. At the first mention of ice or snow, everyone goes just a little crazy. The city practically shuts down.”
“Works for me. A day at home to bundle up and watch movies sounds pretty perfect right now.”
“Summer vacation and snow days are about the only times I wish I’d gone into teaching.” Emily giggled. “My job doesn’t shut down for anything, and rightfully so.”
As they entered the parking garage, Andrew saw movement out of the corner of his eye. A shabbily dressed man was getting closer to them.
Andrew pulled Emily closer to him. “Let’s hurry.”
She looked around in confusion. “What?”
He pulled on her arm. “Come on.” He walked faster, practically dragging her along.”
“I’m not exactly great at walking in these shoes.” She jerked her hand away from him. “What is the problem?”
“I’ll tell you once we get in the car.” He took her hand again and led her past the long row of vehicles until they reached Sarah’s Accord. He flung the passenger door open. “Hurry.”
Emily got into the car without speaking and Andrew slammed the door behind her
He looked back and saw the man, still walking toward them. Andrew quickly got inside the car and locked the doors. He started the engine and backed out of the space. The squeal of the tires reverberated inside the enclosed garage.
“What is wrong with you?” Emily demanded. “I almost twisted my ankle back there.”
He stopped at the kiosk and handed the woman a ten-dollar bill.
“You need a receipt?” she asked.
“No.” Just get us out of here. He clenched the steering wheel until they were able to exit. Once there was open sky above them, he started to breathe easier. He looked over at Emily.
She glared at him. “Seriously. Do you want to tell me what just happened?”
He swallowed. Explaining things to her wouldn’t be easy. “Let’s just get to your place first, okay?”
Emily sighed and settled back against the seat.
His heart still pounded against his chest. Get it together, man. It wasn’t like that guy outside the garage had even done anything out of the ordinary. But just seeing him standing there, lurking like that had made Andrew so uneasy. So fearful that if something happened, he wouldn’t be able to protect Emily.
Ten minutes later, they stepped inside Emily’s condo. She motioned for him to sit down on the couch. “I’ll be right back,” she said walking down the hallway and closing a door behind her.
He took the time alone to glance around her apartment. It was clean. Pristine, even. But something about it didn’t remind him of her. Granted, he’d only been around her a few times, but he thought he had a pretty good handle on the kind of person she was. Something about the modern art and the minimal style just didn’t quite fit with her warm personality.
“I had to get out of that dress,” she said, walking into the room. She motioned at her yoga pants and St. Jude tee shirt. “I love to get all dressed up, but I was dying to get out of those shoes. I figured I might as well change completely.”
Andrew laughed. “I think you look gorgeous either way.” He patted the couch next to him. “Is your ankle okay? I’m sorry about that.”
She sat down and held up a sock encased foot. “It’s fine. But I could’ve really been hurt. I’m not used to walking around in heels that high, much less being dragged along in them.” She met his gaze. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about?”
Andrew had known this moment was coming. The moment when he’d have to share his past with someone. But he hadn’t expected it to be so hard to form the words. He took a deep breath. “I’m going to tell you a story.”
She gave him an encouraging smile. “Whatever it is, I can handle it.” She reached over and clasped his hand. “Seriously. After everything I laid on you the other night, surely you can tell me what’s bothering you.”
He nodded. “I haven’t always lived in Soso. Or Laurel. In fact, there was a time when the last place I wanted to be was some rural Mississippi town that felt like a fishbowl.”
“I thought you hated the city.”
Andrew cleared his throat. “I do. Now. But that hasn’t always been the case. After I graduated from Mississippi State, I moved to Atlanta. I wanted to live in a city that had professional sports teams and fancy restaurants and cool things to do.”
“Atlanta certainly has all of that.”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “I taught at a private school in a suburb. I loved it. A few of my friends from college moved there, too, and we had a blast.”
She grinned. “I remember those days. Early to midtwenties and you have money for the first time and your own place that isn’t a dorm.”
“Exactly. Although I was a little older than them because I took a couple of years off between high school and college to work. So I was kind of the ‘mature’ one in the
group.” He laughed. “That’s crazy to think about now, looking back. I was twenty-five and thought I knew it all.”
“Little did you know. . .” Emily said with a grin. “I think that’s just normal. I’ll turn thirty next year, and I’ve finally realized that I don’t have it all figured out. But back when I was twenty-two, you couldn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know.”
“Anyway, there was a girl I’d been really great friends with in college. Just a really good friend, you know? And in college I refused to date her. I told myself I didn’t want to ruin the friendship.” He shook his head. “But the truth was that I knew if I dated her, I’d probably marry her. And since I wasn’t ready for that, I didn’t even want to go down that path.”
“So did you date her after college?”
He nodded. “Yeah. At first we just hung out with the other people we knew. We’d all go out after work a few nights a week and we went to the same church.” He sighed. “But after I saw her go on dates with other guys, I came to my senses. I didn’t want to let my fear of growing up keep me from the girl I’d had my eye on for years.”
“She must’ve been pretty special.”
Andrew met Emily’s gaze and looked down at their entwined hands. He’d found something special again.
And this time, he was going to do his best to hang on to it.
Chapter Eleven
Emily waited for Andrew to collect his thoughts. She could see the emotion on his face, plain as day. At least he was able to open up. Most guys she’d known preferred to keep everything all bottled up inside.
Finally Andrew nodded. “She was special. I asked her out and made sure she knew I meant a for real, genuine date. None of that let’s hang out, no one knows what’s going on, vague stuff that I’d seen all my friends go through. I wanted her to know how I felt and where we were headed.”
Emily raised her eyebrows. “Wow. It isn’t often you hear someone willing to lay it all on the line like that.”
He shrugged. “I think seeing those other guys clamoring after her made me realize I was going to have to step it up if I wanted her to take me seriously.”
“So what happened?”
He managed a smile. “She felt the same way. I couldn’t believe it. And by the way, you need to know that I was one of those guys who never really dated much in high school and college. So it was this completely new experience for me. I loved being in a relationship, especially with someone who knew me so well. I mean, she’d seen me at my very worst and yet she still cared about me.”
“That’s awesome.”
“It was. For two years, it was wonderful. We rarely fought. We had a great group of friends. Plus it was nice that we were from the same area. Holidays were easy because her parents only lived about an hour from mine.” He shook his head. “Honestly I just thought it was meant to be.”
Emily couldn’t imagine what had gone so wrong. Based on the story Andrew was telling her, he should be married with 2.5 kids by now. “So why didn’t it work out?”
Andrew let out a huge sigh. “We were supposed to meet one night after work. I had parent/teacher meetings and she’d been at some conference all day. We knew we’d need some cheering up afterwards. It made more sense to meet downtown rather than to drive to either of our homes.”
Emily nodded. “Of course. Makes sense.”
“I was running late. This parent got to my classroom just as the open house was over. As luck would have it, it was a parent who had some issues with her kid’s last report card. She stayed there forever. I should’ve called Beth and told her I was running late, but this lady just wouldn’t stop talking.”
A sense of dread swirled through Emily. “It was your job. You couldn’t be rude to the woman.”
“That was the same way I justified my actions to myself.” He shook his head. “When the kid’s mom finally left, I got my phone from my briefcase. There were several missed calls from Beth. But the most recent call was a number I didn’t recognize. I listened to my messages and as it turned out, she was carjacked while she sat in the parking lot. Alone. Waiting on me.”
Emily clutched his hand. “I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”
He nodded. “They shot her. By the time I got to the hospital, she was already gone. There was nothing they could do for her.” He blinked back tears. “If only I had . . .called. Or told the parent the open house was over. Or. . .something.”
“There’s no way you could’ve known.”
He looked at her with haunted eyes. “The worst part is that she was sitting there, wondering where I was. Thinking I was on my way and we were going to have this great night out. And then. . .”
“It wasn’t your fault.” She understood though. That feeling of guilt. Of being the one left behind. It was no wonder she’d felt like Andrew understood her. They had a lot in common.
“People can say that all they want to. But the simple fact is that if I’d done what I was supposed to do, it wouldn’t have happened.”
“Or if you’d gotten there when you were supposed to, maybe you both would’ve been shot. You don’t know.”
“Now you know why I seem so paranoid. It’s because I’ve seen the ugly side of the city. And it isn’t something I ever want to see again. Tonight there was a guy behind us as we were going into the parking garage. All I could think of was ‘what if he pulls a gun’ or something. What would I do? I wouldn’t be able to protect you.”
Emily didn’t know what to say. Part of her job as a nurse was knowing how to make someone feel better. But right now, she was at a loss. What Andrew had gone through was terrible, and the fact that he blamed himself made it worse.
She had no idea how to help him.
But right then, she’d do anything to take away his pain.
***
Andrew hated the look on Emily’s face. He’d freaked her out by telling his story, he just knew it. Maybe he should’ve just kept his mouth shut. But he liked Emily, and he believed the only way for them to have any kind of relationship was for her to know the truth. The whole truth. “Beth died four years ago. I left Atlanta immediately. I quit my job right in the middle of the school year. Mom and Dad came over and helped me move.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without them. I was pretty useless then.”
Emily rubbed his arm. “It’s no wonder. You’d been dealt an awful blow. And you were grieving.”
“I moved in with Mom and Dad and basically didn’t leave the house for months except for church. Sarah found a place for me to rent in Soso and encouraged me to move back out on my own again. Then a teaching position opened up the next year and I took it.” He shrugged. “And suddenly I was living this weird life that I’d never imagined for myself. But there was something very comforting about life in a very small town. After a couple of years, the nightmares finally stopped.” He didn’t want to admit to her that since he’d moved to Memphis, they’d returned. It made him feel like such a weakling.
“It sounds like you got back on your feet. But it also seems like you haven’t forgiven yourself.”
“Would you?”
Emily cocked her head to the side. “It would be different if you’d been late because you were doing something dumb like playing a video game or because you were out with the guys. But you weren’t. You were being responsible. How could you know what the end result would be?”
He started to speak and she raised a hand to stop him.
“Besides that, I still think you can’t know for sure that your being there would’ve made a difference.”
He thought about her words. It was much the same conversation he’d had with Sarah. But how could he let go of the guilt? “I came to Memphis for Mary Kate,” he said. “But I also came for a more selfish reason. . .because I knew if I didn’t leave Soso right then, when I had a reason to, I’d probably never leave.”
“But you’re only here temporarily, right?” Emily asked.
It was a question he’d been as
king himself since the day he’d moved in. “For now.” He met her gaze. “I don’t know about the future.” He managed a small smile in spite of himself. “I keep thinking about that verse in James about not knowing what tomorrow will bring. I guess I need to do a little better about not worrying so much about things I can’t control.”
Emily nodded. “Don’t we all?” She squeezed his hand. “I know this was tough to talk about. But I’m glad you told me.”
“Emily, I want you to know that I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care about you.” He reached out and stroked her smooth cheek with the back of his hand. “I know it probably seems like I’m still really hung up on Beth and the past. But I’m ready to move on. I’m trying hard to make my peace with things.” He met her gaze. “And you’re a big part of that. I’ve dated here and there over the past couple of years, but my heart just wasn’t in it.” He pulled her to him in an embrace. As Andrew held on to Emily, he realized that after years of living a half-life, hidden away from anyone and anything that could hurt him, he felt alive again.
And that was a wonderful feeling.
Chapter Twelve
“Mary Kate, how are you feeling today?” Emily asked. She’d woken up that morning with Mary Kate on her mind. Last week’s treatment had been really rough on the child and today’s would probably be the same. Most days Emily loved her job, but sometimes she was struck by just how unfair life could be.
“I’m okay.” Mary Kate smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. The little girl tried so hard to stay positive even when she felt poorly.
Sarah handed Mary Kate some gum. “Chew on this, baby.” She looked at Emily. “She didn’t sleep well last night, and I think it was because she was dreading today.”
Emily nodded. No matter how entertaining and comfortable they tried to make chemo treatments, they were still brutal. Especially after a few months.
“She has a new movie to watch though,” Sarah said. “Her friends from church sent a care package, and we’ve been saving the movie for today’s treatment. Right, Mary Kate?”
Can't Help Falling in Love (Memphis Moments Book 2) Page 7
