“Aless, you have nothin’ and I mean absolutely nothin’ to be sorry for. I’m happy you told me all this and I swear I will make all of this up to you. I'll never be able to erase the hurt I caused you. I deserve to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. I love you, I love you so much. I could never look at you with disgust, Alessandra. The other night I was weak. I let my insecurities take hold instead of my brain, my heart. I know with everything in my body that you are my light, Alessandra. You are everything that is good in me,” he says putting my hand over his heart.
Another tear drops down his eyes and I brush it away.
“I'm not gonna lie, Miguel, it’s gonna take some time for me to move past this. I still want to stay at Charlotte and Gabriel’s. When I come back, I want it to mean something. Right now, I just… can’t.”
He nods and laces our fingers together, kissing each of my knuckles.
“I understand and I'll wait. I'll remind you every day how much I love you. I… also wanna apologize for the money comment. I… have no words for you, Alessandra. None. Your selflessness… I just… I ain't worthy of you. I never will be.”
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the money, the man I met at the bakery was from Second Chances, Hector. It was just business and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Marco and Frankie at the office. I… wanted to handle it on my own. I didn't want you to see me as a woman who needed saving, needed help with every little thing. A burden.”
“Alessandra you are far from a burden. Your independence has been inspirin’ to watch. I want you as a partner, and I'll treat you as one. If you wanted to handle it on your own, I would have let you. I can't promise that anymore though, not after what he did to you.”
“Let’s worry about that tomorrow, okay? Get discharged and we'll figure it out from there.”
He nods and kisses my cheek pulling back and studying my face, looking for permission. I shake my head and he nods in acknowledgement.
“Give me some time, okay?”
The nurse knocks and Miguel moves to sit back on the bed as she evaluates him.
“You a boxer?” she asks.
“Yes ma'am.”
“Must have been one hell of a fight,” she says motioning to his nose.
I look away, putting my hand over my mouth to hide my smile.
“Let's just say it was well deserved,” Miguel says back.
Chapter 24
Alessandra
Miguel: Pick you up from work? Can drop Peter by Charlotte and Gabe’s for a quick bite. Just us?
I smile when I read Miguel's text. It's been a month and every day he has been better than the last. I see the hurt in his gaze when we hang out at his apartment and I tell him I have to go, or stop his hand from roaming up my thigh, move my face so he kisses my cheek instead of my lips. I'm almost there, I just can't leap. I know he loves me and he's sorry for what he said and how he treated me, but I can't push it behind me.
I also want to make sure I'm not using him to solve my problems, for an escape. I have to make sure I'm in control with my feelings, with my need for his touch. It's killing me, but the feeling of withdrawal from him is different than the past. I miss him and I want him, but I don't need him like I did heroin.
The wall that I built this past month gets smaller and smaller everyday though and I can't help but smile when I see his face pop up on my phone.
“Stalking me? I was gonna text you back, ya know,” I say with a smile.
“Just makin’ sure you ain't ditchin’ me. What do you say? We can bring Peter if you want, I just thought you might want a night out.”
“That's fine. I can let Charlie know I'll be a little late home. He um… he misses you watching him,” I say quietly.
Charlotte's mother and father have been watching Peter at the house with all their great-grandkids and I felt terrible keeping Miguel on the outs, but I needed to sort through things without Peter making it harder. I know how Peter feels about him already, it was all on me now.
“I miss watchin’ him too. You know I'm here if you need me.”
“Of course I do. I'll see you in a little.”
I hang up the phone and clean up my office before heading down the hall. It's dark and quiet and I wonder when everyone left. Lacey and Savannah didn't come in today, they had an event in New Orleans, but Charlotte and Gabe should still be here.
I check both their offices, making sure I knock before entering and no one. I shrug, shutting and locking the door to the office and head outside to wait for Miguel. I take my phone out of my purse and jump when I see two shadows approaching.
“There's my girl. Ya know that boyfriend of yours is something else. If looks could kill,” Marco says laughing.
“What do you want Marco? Telling my boyfriend lies, trying to break us up so I'd come back to you wasn't enough? What more could you possibly want from me?” I ask holding my phone in my hand.
Come on, Miguel. Come on.
“My son vanished. Ever since that conversation with you, he's gone off the rails. I don't need to give my opponent any more ammunition for re-election this year, I need to clean up his mess.”
The man next to Marco starts walking towards me.
“What mess is that?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“You. My grandson. I'm still deciding but a nice piece of arm candy like yourself would do well with an election. Taking in a single mom and her son. The compassionate man that I am,” he says with a twisted smile.
“You're sick, you know that? I dated your son, Marco! I carried his child and birthed his child! I'm not gonna stand next to you and pretend you're anything but a monster,” I snap.
“That is one thing I admire about you, Alessandra, your spirit, your fire. I tried so hard to crush it but alas, it is still there. I remember the first night I took you, how hard you fought. I've never enjoyed breaking someone as much as you,” he growls.
“You've… you've done that before?” I say shocked.
“Not as much as I used to before my election, but you were a special case,” he says with an evil smile walking closer to me.
I feel my body tense at the memory, the anger I had that night coming to the surface harder than anything I've ever felt in my life.
“Don't you dare come near me,” I snap.
Marco reaches inside his jacket pocket and I stiffen. I expect a gun but it's a needle and my body goes cold.
“You're forgetting I know your weakness, Alessandra.”
He comes closer and I back up, my back hitting the building door.
“No,” I whisper.
“Tell me, how long has it been since you've felt the numbness? Felt the cool euphoria flooding your veins? Felt your brain shut off, all the worry leaving your body, the stress disappearing?”
I swallow, not looking at the needle, focusing on Marco's face, remembering my anger. Remembering why I fought all these years.
Peter. Remember Peter.
“You don't miss it? You don't miss the blissful oblivion?”
“No,” I whisper again. “No!”
He's close now and I grit my teeth, fighting it.
“Wouldn't it be terrible if my grandson’s mother overdosed and I was left to raise him on my own? What is that called, Dante? Sympathy vote?” Marco asks to the man behind him.
“You're adding murderer to your long list of sins now? Blackmail, extortion, rape!” I yell pushing against his chest.
He grabs my wrist and spins me around, my back against his chest as his arm comes up under my chin, slowly cutting off my airway. He presses harder against my neck and I reach for his forearm, trying to fight him.
“Don't paint me in that light, Alessandra. I was simply doing a job. You were mine to do with as I please, so remember where you're from and get off your high horse.”
Dante comes up next to me and grabs my wrists, keeping my arms in place as he rolls up one of my sleeves and I flinch, trying to wriggle out of his grasp.
“If I
give you all of this, you'll die right here on the street,” he whispers in my ear showing me the needle.
I'm gasping for air as my vision starts to go blurry, shaking my head.
“If I give you one hit, you'll be sure to relapse and I will be there, picking you up again and this vicious cycle will repeat itself.”
I stomp my foot on top of Marco’s and he curses, releasing me.
I try to run but Dante is there, grabbing my arm and pushing me against the glass doors. My head bounces off the glass and then Marco is there, his hands around my throat, tightening his grip on my neck.
“Oh Alessandra, you know what the fire does to me,” he says pushing his body into mine.
Bile rises to my throat, but it has nowhere to go as his hand strangles the air out of my body, my own hands frantically trying to push him off.
“Or we can stop all this nonsense and you come quietly, obediently.”
I don't want to give in, but I can't take the struggle anymore and I relent, nodding as my vision comes in and out, my head too heavy to hold up. Marco lets go of me and I drop to the ground on my hands and knees, gasping for air and coughing, my lungs burning, aching for relief.
“Let's go,” Marco snaps.
I stay where I am, taking deep breaths in when I see Marco start to kneel down next to me. I lift my arm quickly, elbowing him in the nose and he staggers back. Before I know what’s happening, Miguel is there, scrapping with Dante and Marco is rolling on the floor, getting to his feet as I struggle to get to mine.
“You bitch,” he seethes, spitting out blood on the ground next to him.
"Run, Alessandra!" Migu yells.
I don't listen to him. I stand there, my feet planted with determination.
“Don't come near me again, I swear I'll kill you,” I gasp, my voice rough and strangled.
“And how in the hell are you gonna do that?” he asks smiling, his mouth bloody.
Miguel is still fighting Dante and I quickly reach down to my ankle, grabbing my handgun off the strap and point it at Marco.
“Where the fuck did you get that from?” Marco says, his smile dropping as he raises his hands above his head. “I'll press charges, have you arrested for attempted-”
“Concealed carry permit, Marco,” I say keeping the gun still, trained on Marco's head. “I've been waiting for this moment. A month of training, taking classes, target practice every night because I knew you weren't done. I'm never going to be able to escape you,“ I say my voice gruff.
“Alessandra…”
I glance up and see Miguel looking at me, eyes wide. Dante is on the floor and Miguel starts to slowly walk towards me.
“Miguel, don't!” I snap. “Don't tell me I don't have a right to do this when you've been in my position! You've killed bad men before, he's the worst of them all!” I yell walking closer to Marco.
“I know he is baby. I know he is. Just think about this for a second, okay? Think about it,” he soothes.
“I have. For a month, every day, I haven't thought about anything else. He came here, and tried to destroy the happiness I've built,” I say through gritted teeth. I turn to Marco and my anger hits an all-time high. “You tried to destroy me, and I survived but it wasn't enough! You had to come and try and break me again! You don't get to go and live your life out in jail! You don't get to breathe on the same earth as my son! You're a fucking monster!”
A small smile creeps up on Marco's lips and he looks to Miguel.
“I told you she's good, didn't I? Is anyone else invited to this pity party?”
I take the safety off the gun and the sound echoes through the parking lot.
“Want to try that again?” I say my voice deep and menacing, I don't even recognize myself. “Get on your knees and fucking pray I have mercy on you.”
My voice is a deathly whisper and all the bitterness and shame washes to the surface. All these years I've had to hold it in but no more.
Marco nods as his smile fades and he drops to his knees, his hands behind his head.
“This is not self-defense, Alessandra. Think about this, please,” Miguel says walking close to me.
I ignore him, my hand shaking with a fury that ignites my whole body.
“You're nothing but a piece of lint on my Armani jacket, Alessandra. Those words, the merciless way you took me that night! Why in the world should I not put this bullet so far inside that sick and twisted head? Huh? Tell me!” I roar.
Marco shakes his head and closes his eyes.
“You should, because if I had a choice I would do it all over again.”
His eyes meet mine with no remorse and I fire the gun off the pavement next to his leg, causing him to flinch as some of the concrete ricochets to his leg.
“Fuckkkk,” he groans his hand covering his leg.
“Alessandra, stop! I want to rip his heart out believe me, but this isn't the way to do it. You don't know what this will do to you, Alessandra. Those men I've killed, that never goes away. You're too good for this, for him. Don't let him do this to you. He will rot in jail, I swear to you. There won't be a day inside that prison that he walks around without looking over his shoulder, I'll make sure of it. Please baby, put the gun down.”
I watch as Marco closes his eyes again and I walk closer, until I'm standing right in front of him and the barrel of the gun is against his forehead.
“Alessandra…” Miguel pleads.
“Never again,” I whisper. “Never again will I feel the way you made me feel. I won't ever think of you or the things you made me do ever again. You're nothing but a blood sucking gnat that I just crushed with my fucking fingers.”
I take the gun off his forehead and put the safety back on and then lean back, kicking him across his face as he drops to his back. I don't let up and kneel on his chest as I back hand him with the barrel of my gun then toss it to the floor. I punch him until my arms can't move, until Marco is limp, and I feel a strong hold around my belly.
Miguel lifts me to my feet, and I lean into his chest as the tears flow from my eyes. I grip his shirt, my knuckles bloody as I let it all out.
“Shhh, it's over baby, it's all over.”
Miguel brings me to the bed of his pickup truck and dials an ambulance. My eyelids are heavy, but he keeps waking me up and when the ambulance finally arrives, I'm ushered to the back for observation.
They check my throat and monitor my breathing as they bandage up my knuckles. They shine a light in my eyes, and I wince.
“You'll have some bruising on your neck but that should go away within a couple of days and you most likely have a concussion. How does your chest feel? Fill up your lungs for me, give me a deep breath,” the paramedic instructs.
I take a deep breath then start coughing and he glances at the side monitor.
“Let's bring you in, you ridin’ with us Jameson?” the paramedic asks Miguel.
“Yeah. Let me tell the boys.”
Miguel kisses my cheek and walks over to the two police officers on the scene. He comes back and hops into the back of the ambulance with me and grabs my hand.
“How are you?” he asks softly.
“Feel like shit honestly,” I whisper, my voice still sounding like an 80-year-old smoker.
“I’m proud of you and I love you. I know what strength that took to not pull the trigger.”
I close my eyes, a tear slipping down my cheek.
“I was so angry. He was going to drug me, Miguel and I had to fight it. It was right there, and I…”
“You wanted to?”
“A small, small part of me did but that’s what I’m going to have to live with for the rest of my life. You and Peter, that's what made me stop. Myself, this woman I've become, I can't lose her, I won't lose her.”
“No, you won't,” he says his determination matching my own. “You've worked so hard to build yourself up, Aless, nothin’ can tear you down. I've never been more in love with you than I am right now.”
He kisses
me softly on the lips and brushes the tears off my cheeks.
“Thank you… for stopping me. I just… I saw red. Threatening Peter, bringing me back to the addiction, I just didn't see another way out of all this except…”
“There is and I swear to you he'll rot in there. I have many friends in that prison and there won't be a day of rest for him, ever again.”
Last Round (Double Play Series Book 6) Page 22
