by Thorn, Ava
“I was gone for three freaking days and return to find another woman’s underwear in my bedroom. I don’t even wear boy shorts,” she said, walking after him.
“Calm down and think,” he uttered. “Miraculously you come home to find that in our bedroom.” He nodded at the panties on the floor in the living room. “Sarah, I’m not even going to entertain you.”
“You think I’m an idiot? I will not stand for you cheating on me with her.”
Shane appeared to be confused. “Who the hell is her?”
“Jasmine!” Sarah stormed into the living and snatched the panties off the floor. “These are her that’s the only bitch I know who wears a size eight in Victoria Secret panties.”
“Jazz has never been here.”
“Oh, here name is Jazz now? When did you start giving her a nickname? Before or after you fucked her.” Sarah tossed the panties in his face. “Smell them like the dog you are.”
Shane tossd them onto the floor. He poured the remaining of his beer out and grabbed his car keys. “I’m leaving,” he said walking out the door.
***
“Self-righteous son of a bitch,” Jasmine mumbled. No one knew about her problems with Sarah except for her ex-best friend Sandra. She kept her lips tight about the problems that Shane’s wife was causing her, maybe it was her fault and the secret crush that she had on him.
Undressing Shay and swaddling her in a pink blanket for her first photo shoot, Jasmine ignored the knock on the door, and she didn’t want to talk to him. Maybe being single was a good idea for her, she needed to just focus on her daughter. The door crept open slowly and Shane poked his head in.
“Brenda the photographer is here,” he said, looking at her.
“Okay, can you grab the bags by the door?” she asked without looking at him. Picking Shay up gingerly from the bed, Jasmine walked passed him but not before Shane stopped her.
“I’ll talk to you after the photo shoot,” Shane said against her ear.
Jasmine didn’t bother to reply to him, because he didn’t ask her; it was more like an order.
For the next hour, Jasmine busied herself with helping Brenda pose Shay for her first close up with the camera.
Shane sat back in watched different photos being snapped of Shay including a princess one with a tiara on her small head, beautiful big flower bow and wearing a tutu. Jasmine even incorporated pictures of Shay sleeping on his old guitar. Not to mention she added some of his western flair to the pictures with Shay napping in on his black saddle that read “McBride” with a pair of pink and black cowgirl boot. His eyes started to tear when he thought about the work Jasmine went through to make this day special.
“Okay, Shane take off your shirt,” Brenda said, looking at him with a huge smile.
Shane looked at the blonde middle-aged photographer, who flirted with him when she first laid eyes on him. “For what?” he asked turning his attention on Jasmine.
“I want you to take a picture with Shay.” Jasmine placed Shay into the bassinet and stood in front of him. “I think it would be nice, if you took a picture with Shay without the shirt.” Her eyes traveled down to his well-fitting blue jeans.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, watching Jasmine carefully.
“I’ll be right back,” she giggled, and ran down the hall to retrieve his white cowboy hat. “Cowboy dad with baby daughter.” Jasmine placed the hat on his head and proceeded to unbutton his blue flannel shirt.
“Are you still mad?” Shane asked, gazing into those dreamy brown eyes of hers.
Running her tongue over her bottom lip, she looked up at him. “Can we focus on Shay’s photo shoot?” This wasn’t the time nor place for them to have this conversation, especially with Brenda taking picture of them interacting with one another.
Jasmine sat back and watched as Shane cradled Shay in his strong arms. Her eyes were glued to Shane’s superb body. There was no fault in his lean muscular, hairless body. Her fingers craved to touch the black star tattoo on his chest and the tribal tattoo on his upper arm. Jasmine’s skin crawled when she heard Brenda whistling at Shane like she was at some strip show.
“Let’s do a picture with all three of us,” Shane suggested.
“What?” Jazz said, as she tried to think of an excuse why she shouldn’t be included in the pictures. “I haven’t lost all my baby weight.”
“You looking fine, doll,” he said, holding his arm for her to come join him.
Sighing, Jasmine walked over and took Shay from his arms. “Let’s just start,” she said, plastering on a smile. When Shane wrapped his arms around hers, Jazz had to remind herself to breathe.
“Can you guys give me more love and happiness?” Brenda asked as she stopped to change her film.
“Jasmine,” Shane said her name softly. Turning around, she looked up at him. “Are you still mad at me?”
Exhaling the breath she was holding. She wasn’t really that mad, okay she was but- she didn’t really know. “I would be lying if I said no,” she replied.
Shane looked guilty. “Jazz, I shouldn’t have blown up at you, I do apologize.” He never wanted Jasmine to be mad or sad, she meant a lot to him. Maybe more, but he wasn’t willing to admit that.
“We need to talk, because I don’t want these big blow ups to come between us.” Her voice was like a whispered.
“I’m seriously sorry, if I made you feel insignificant. I really want to make this work with you.”
Shay wiggled and started to fuss.
“It’s okay my love,” Jasmine said as she patted Shay on the back. “You want our co-parenting to work out.”
“No…yeah.” Shane took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn’t know what he truly wanted. “We have history and always will… I mean, we’ve been together already for three weeks now and we’ve been intimate.” He pointed at their daughter. “We’ve done some incredible things together and created this amazing human being.”
Jasmine made a face. “I’m confused.”
“I believe we are good together, when we allow the chemistry between us to flow. There might be something good that come out of it besides Shay,” Shane said and Jasmine suddenly laughed.
Why is she laughing? Was this a good sign for them? But he would take hearing her laughter any day of the week.
“Stop laughing,” he said, trying not to be offended and Jasmine only laughed harder. That caused him to laugh.
“I think I needed that laugh,” she said, after their amusement died down.
Picking her hand up and intertwining their fingers together. “Jazz,” he whispered. Lifting her head up, her confused eyes bored into his. He leaned down and kissed her.
Slapping Shane never cross her mind. She kissed him back as his hands wandered to her waist, her body was fire from one simple kiss.
That kiss was a symbol of something more that was being captured by Brenda’s camera lens. These two people had feelings for one another big time.
Just as the kiss was deepening, “I’m done,” Brenda said loudly enough for them to hear her.
Jasmine pulled away from him and took and stepped away, chuckling nervously. “Thanks.
Shane knew they had a lot to talk about regarding Sarah and the kiss. It was time they stopped hiding from one another and just talk for once.
“Shane, can you dress Shay while I finish up with Brenda?” Jasmine was already handing him a cranky baby that started to pee all over him.
“Your mom is leaving me with the hard work,” Shane said to Shay as he walked down the hall.
“Thank you so much,” Jasmine said as she helped Brenda pack up. “I can’t wait to see the pictures,”
“I should have them ready in a few days,” she replied.
“Thanks, could I actually pay extra to have them ready by Friday?” Jasmine asked. She wanted each guest to take home a birth announcement with Shay’s picture on it.
“No problem,” Brenda said and gave a look of dissatisf
action at Jasmine before walking out the door.
Slightly taken aback by the woman’s behavior, she didn’t have time to analyze Brenda’s evil glare because there were still a lot of things she had to take care before the party in three days.
***
Shane had been so busy in the last month that he neglected Soldier, the first horse he’d ridden since he was eighteen-years old. He brushed the chestnut coat. The name Soldier fitted his horse so well, not because most people thought Mustangs were a spitfire, which they were. Mustangs possessed agility, sensibility, alertness and hardiness that other horses didn’t have.
“I miss you boy,” Shane said and received a neigh from Soldier. He laughed and went back to brushing him.
“Are you about to ride?” Austin said as he walked into the barn.
“Yeah, I should be saddling up in a minute.”
“I’ll take a ride with ya.” Austin was already making a beeline to the spotted brown and white Pinto horse named Timber.
“We haven’t ridden together in a long time, cousin,” Shane said as he put the brush down and started to saddle Soldier. They used to always ride out early in the morning or late at night to talk about the problems in their life.
Twenty minutes later, they were hitting the trail as the sun shined brightly down on them. This was the place where they could discuss anything from politics to jobs to love life.
“So tell me what’s eating at you,” Austin said, looking they started a slow gallop.
“I slept with Jasmine,” he blurted out as they stopped in a grassy pasture.
“I’m not even shocked to hear that,” Austin said with a smirk. He could have teased his cousin relentlessly, but the look of regret on Shane’s face told him it wasn’t the time or the place.
“Every time I laugh with Jasmine or kiss her I feel guilty—”
“For living? Shit, if Sarah were here right now… One… your ass would probably be miserable and …two…you guys would have been divorced,” Austin interrupted. He wasn’t going to sit up on Timber and tell his cousin what he wanted to hear.
Shane sighed and took off his cowboy hat. “I have the opportunity to live and be happy. You ever have the feeling like you gave Rebecca the wrong end of the stick?” Shane realized his choice of words were problematic. “Let me explain this better.”
“Yes, please do,” Austin said with a scowl.
“Austin, you made plans to marry Rebecca, slid a ring onto her finger. She was led to believe that you guys were going to get married and spend the rest of ya’ll lives together. Now you’ve fallen in love with another woman and having a child together in a few months.”
“I regret the way things were handled with Rebecca but I know that I would have been miserable with her, just like you were with Sarah,” Austin said, staring into the open distance. Getting off his horse, he walked to the white fence that separated McBride ranch from the rest of the world. Horses thundered by in the open field.
Letting go of a sigh, Shane hopped off Solider, holding the reins he walked toward the fence where Austin stood. “I’m not saying you ruined Rebecca’s life…” he rambled.
“You are going to live a pitiful life,” Austin said quickly. “Wandering around this earth with guilt and regret. Pity party for one because I’m not interested in joining that party.”
Taking a deep breath, he leaned against the fence and looked up at the dark sky and smelled the air around him, fresh dirt under his feet. The smell of the horses galloping in the meadows felt good. He couldn’t look at his cousin because a part of him was ashamed for starting a new life with Jasmine.
“You love her!” Austin said shockingly.
“A part of me does love Jasmine,” he admitted. “I’m not a man who can easily admit that I’m scared. I failed Sarah and the thought of failing someone else hurts. I’m scared.”
Thunder rumbled overhead and the skies gave way, soaking them to the skin in a matter of seconds. “Time don’t wait for no man,” Austin yelled over the heavy rain as they mounted their horses and made a mad dash back to the barn.
Putting their horses up for the night in silence Shane thought about Austin’s remark about time not waiting for any man. “It’s not about time.”
“What is it about?” Austin asked, looking confused.
“I can’t be Jasmine’s heartbreak, she deserves better than me.” Shane walked out the barn.
Jumping into his truck, he drove four miles down the dirt road to his house. Pulling up to the house, he sat in the car listening to the radio. Somewhere, he allowed himself to get lost in Jasmine’s presence. She made him forget the past and brought change into his life. Turning the car off, he stepped out the truck and ran to the house.
Walking into the house he was greeted by Jasmine’s sweet laughter as she laid on the floor in front of Shay, who was positioned on her tummy.
“What are you doing?” Shane asked.
“It’s called tummy time.” Jasmine looked up at him for only a second only before reverting her attention back to Shay. “The baby book said this will strengthen her neck muscles, which will help her roll over and crawl.”
“Oh,” he said. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”
“It’s lightening out.”
“That’s why I said it will be a quick shower.” He winked out her before making his trek down the hall to his bedroom. During his hot shower, Shane couldn’t help but think about the guilt that plagued him. He wasn’t grieving for Sarah; he came to terms with her death last year. The grief dissipated but took the form of guilt. He refused to feel guilty for feeling something so wonderful, for someone who brought him so much joy and was helping him live again. But it didn’t matter because Shane would always be guilty of falling out of love with her before she died. No one could control who they passionately loved. It was one of those things that was out of a person's hands. His mom always said the heart feels that we cannot say and the heart knows when it’s time to walk away.
Drying off, he put on a pair of slacks and t-shirt, he walked down the dim lit hallway. Jasmine must have heard his footsteps and looked up at him. Damn he loved the way she looked at him. Taking a seat next to her on the floor, Shane sat there and observed her.
“You’re a great mom,” he said honestly.
“You too… I mean you’re a great father.” She smiled and handed Shay to him.
Thunder rolled down, making the ground shake, lighting flashed through the window, illuminating the living room.
Boom.
The house fell in total complete darkness. “The lightning must have hit something.” Shane handed Shay back to Jasmine and stood up. He stumbled around in the dark until he found a flashlight in the kitchen drawer.
“How long do you think this will last?” she asked, her voice shaky.
“Don’t tell me Jasmine St. Clair is afraid of the dark.” Shane teased as he shined the flashlight on Jasmine and the baby.
Silence.
“You’re scared of the dark?” he said with amusement.
Jasmine shrugged. Yeah, she was a twenty-five-year-old woman and afraid of the dark. Her brothers used to tease her profusely about being fearful of the dark. Her face felt flush with humiliation.
“You don’t have to worry,” Shane’s calm voice whispered, his face was close enough to hers that she could smell his minty breath, but she was still afraid.
“Uh… Shane? How long will the power outage last?” she stuttered nervously, and move away from him.
“I don’t work for Texas Electricity,” he said with a smile.
Jasmine wanted to call him a smart ass but instead she placed Shay in her bassinet. “So what are we going to do, Ranger McBride?”
“I can turn on the fireplace and we can pretend like we’re camping,” he suggested. “I think I can even find some lanterns.” Shane began to stand up.
“Lanterns?” she chuckled and shook her head.
“Fine,” he said as he sat back down on the f
loor. “We can sit here in the dark. Who knows when Texas Electricity will turn the lights back on.”
“Okay,” she shrieked.
“There you have it sweet cheeks, we will camp inside until the power comes back on.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before getting up and finding the lanterns.
Shane worked quickly to get the fireplace going to get Jasmine out of the dark. He moved the furniture to one end of the room, leaving them a large expanse of hardwood floor where they could set up a pallet made of blankets on the floor, a safe distance for the fire. Going to the refrigerator, he pulled out hot dogs and in the pantry he grabbed marshmallows and popcorn.
“That is a lot of junk food,” Jasmine said as she eyes the array of food on the floor.
“This is traditional camping food,” he said.
Sitting next to on the floor in Indian-style, she followed his direction on how to roast a hot dog on the metal stick.
“I’ve never been camping,” she said.
“You’ve never been camping?” he asked incredulously.
“No.” She chuckled when he made a face. “Think about the snakes, animals and bugs,” she shuddered just thinking about it.
“Your brothers have been camping.”
“Ha!” Jasmine said, looking at him. “They went to a cabin near the lake that has four bedrooms, three baths and a gourmet kitchen.”
“Damn, I’m definitely going to take you camping.” He turned to look at her. “You will indeed like it.”
“Who said we will be together that long to go camping?” she asked. Pulling her hotdog out the fire, placing it on a bun, she reached past him and seized the mustard and ketchup beside him. Jasmine nibbled on the hotdog and moaned. “This is so good,” Jazz exclaimed as she took another bite.
“Wait until you taste mine,” Shane said as he pulled his lightly burnt hotdog off the fire.
“What?” Jazz laughed.
“Not… like that.” His face became beet red as he thought about the way his remarked sounded.
“Sure.” Jasmine raised an eyebrow at him.
“So do you want to taste it?” he asked.
Jasmine playfully slapped his arm. “Stop playing.”
