“Talk about timing.” Lorrie turned on the defroster. The wipers thumped back and forth and the radio kicked out eighties tunes from a retro station. Rain bounced hard against the car hood. “We’ll wait it out. There’s no way I’m driving in this.”
“Does this thing have heated seats?” Jesse wriggled down into the passenger seat. “It’s amazing. It’s like my spine is melting.”
Lorrie grinned. “Good, eh?”
They sat watching blurred figures run across the parking lot. Then Lorrie flicked off the radio and turned to face Jesse. “So, what’s eating you?”
Jesse drew a circle on the window. Lorrie looked on impassively, waiting. Jesse made the circle a happy face. Lorrie continued to watch, then said, “Actually, there’s more speculation about who is eating you.”
That caught Jesse’s attention. Her gaze locked with Lorrie’s.
“I’ve had this conversation with Val already,” she said.
“Ah.” Lorrie nodded knowingly. “It’s always a bit of a pisser the first time you get gay bashed by a so-called friend. But you can learn to work the rumors to your advantage.”
“And if you can’t? Or you don’t know how?”
“Then I guess you’re out and proud.”
Jesse snorted and looked out at the teeming rain. “Out and proud? How can I be outed before I even know if I’m gay? And I’m talking hypothetically here,” she said. “Talk about jumping the gun. Some people are so rude.”
Lorrie laughed. “Don’t sulk. I don’t think homophobes have rules, except hate, hate, hate. Just shrug it off. Everyone knows Val’s as thick as a cow placenta.”
“I did shrug it off. But it’s so unfair to be accused when I haven’t even kissed…people…” Jesse trailed off. She began to feel uncomfortably hot in the little car.
“I can see how you feel shortchanged.”
Jesse slumped further into her deluxe leather seat. Lorrie’s own seat squeaked as she shifted her weight. Then she was leaning toward Jesse, lifting her chin with cool, rain-dampened fingers, and covering Jesse’s lips with her own. Jesse started, but soon accepted the gentle but insistent sucking on her lips. The soft flesh of their mouths melted into delicious sweetness. A tingle coursed through Jesse, prickling her scalp and thrilling the flesh along her arms and thighs.
As gently as the caress began, Lorrie broke it off. Her gaze was questioning and a rueful smile tugged at her lips. Jesse focused on those lips with more than a little wonder.
“You go get yourself some more of that, honey bun, and I promise things will feel better, no matter what Val or anyone else says.”
Jesse could well believe it. She felt a surge of attraction that lasted all of several seconds before her loyalty to Bette quenched it. Lorrie was Bette’s girlfriend, and Jesse certainly did not want to be a third wheel. Nevertheless, her first ever same-sex kiss had been exquisite. Wonderful, in fact. And incredibly self-affirming. The queer label sat a little more firmly. She definitely wanted to explore this queerness thing further. Her face must have been a parade of emotions because Lorrie suddenly burst out laughing and dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose.
“Looks like an epiphany to me,” she said.
Chapter Thirteen
Norrie moved from a traditional air to a deeper, more evolved piece that seemed to pulse from her fingertips onto the yellowing keys. The parlor filled with a sublimely sweet tune that held a curious pathos. Her body swayed gently as she poured out a tumult of confusing emotions into the music. The piece stopped as suddenly as it had started. She sat quietly at the piano. A fat tear slid down her cheek.
Her mother looked up from her knitting. Her needles stilled. “That was lovely, pet, but so sad. Is it new?”
“I suppose it is, Ma. It just came out of nowhere.” Her back was to her mother so she could surreptitiously wipe away the teardrop. She was as surprised at its appearance as she was with her new tune. A second tear splatted the back of her hand. She didn’t understand why she was crying except that she felt sad. A bittersweet yearning had flooded her from nowhere and poured into her music. One moment her fingers were happily dancing through “Toss the Feathers,” the next her body felt as brittle as glass. Her mother told her these mood swings and her recent clumsiness were due to the hormones rampaging through her teenage body. Could hormones split her in two and fracture her like a broken chord?
Her mother’s hands rested on her lap cupped around her knitting. Aware of her mother’s gaze, Norrie composed herself and stood. She didn’t want to alarm her mother, but lately she’d been feeling as if something important was slipping away, but she had no idea what. Was this what depression felt like?
“Let’s have a cup of tea,” she said.
“That would be lovely.” Her mother caught at her hand as she passed. “Norrie,” she said. “Growing up is hard for a girl, especially one as sensitive as you. You’re very gifted, and people can pay dearly for their gifts. Are things all right at school, love? No one’s giving you any grief, are they?”
“No, Ma. I’m fine.” She wasn’t. She was spurned at school. Left to her own devices, making it a long, lonely day. “Sometimes…sometimes I’m thinking of sad songs, that’s all.” That was the best she could explain it. The sudden void that opened up inside her as if the ground had disappeared from under her, leaving her in free fall with nothing to hold on to. How could she possibly describe that to her mother? To anyone? She went to the kitchen and left her mother counting stitches.
*
Soul Selector had hoped this wouldn’t happen, but over time Norrie became sensitized to Jesse’s feelings and life experiences. She was an extremely sensitive girl, and Soul Selector suspected that’s what triggered all her moping around. Maybe she’d outgrow it. Teenage moods were unattractive enough without musical accompaniment.
Chapter Fourteen
The midterms were over so Lorrie threw a party. A toga party. Her parents were away for the weekend and had foolishly entrusted her with the care of their house.
“It’s a totally sixties theme,” she told Bette and an unenthusiastic Jesse. “We’ll be running around drunk dressed in torn up sheets. How crazy is that? Dibs I be Aphrodite.”
“What, we have to be gods now?” Bette’s initial interest began to wane. “That’s fancy dress, not toga.”
“Divinity is not compulsory,” Lorrie said. “Oh, come on. It’ll be fun.”
It was the least fun Jesse could think of. She had withdrawn a little from Bette and Lorrie ever since the kiss in the parking lot. It had been a warm, sweet kiss, and as soon as it had started it was over, but it had churned up a morass of emotion for her. She was turning into a panicking prude, unsure of the lusty, forbidden thrills she associated with these two. She’d imprinted on them like an orphaned chick and was embarrassed by her need.
“You’ll be surprised at how many people you’ll know.” Lorrie now turned her persuasive powers on her. “Lots of people.” She winked.
“Put me down as a maybe and a maybe not.” Jesse refused to be pressed. Lorrie had raised even more reasons to be anxious. Who would she know at the party? And was Lorrie turning matchmaker?
“You know, you’re so freaky it might just work.” Bette gave Lorrie a skeptical look and Lorrie beamed.
“So we’re on,” she said. “It’s toga time. Mount Olympus awaits us!”
*
On party night, Jesse found herself at Lorrie’s front door close to midnight with a six-pack, a scowl, and a lot less confidence than when she’d set out. Music blared over the extensive tree-shadowed lawn. Lorrie’s home was set back in a wooded lot so far from the nearest neighbors that no one would be disturbed by the raucous laughter and sixties music pouring from the house.
The door was flung open by Jimmy, resplendent in lopsided laurels and toga drapes. He was a very authentic Bacchus with red wine stains all down his front and grapes tucked over his ears.
“Come in, come in, little sis.” He bowed and waved her
to enter.
“I see you’ve sucked up as much wine as your toga,” she said and crossed the threshold into a wide, airy hallway filled with drunk, half naked teenagers.
“To the left is the dis…de…garmenting room.” Jimmy hiccupped his way through his directions. “There you will find a selection of our finest one hundred percent Egyptian cotton bedsheets carefully shredded for your party needs. Oh, and a bowl full off safety pins. Don’t forget those.” He winked and spun away with an awkward lurch that landed him in the arms of a tall gladiator Jesse recognized from Trinity’s basketball team.
Now that’s a handsome couple, she mused. Her gaze ran around the hall before she decided to commit. After all, if she was going to hang out in scraps of bed linen with a crowd of strangers, she would need more than a safety pin to feel secure. As she had more or less suspected, same-sex couples were everywhere. Some she even half knew, which was as weird as it was reassuring. This was a gay party. Her first one.
Self-conscious but determined, she headed in the direction Jimmy had pointed and found the dressing room. Stacks of street clothes were for the most part tidily arranged over every available surface. On the bed lay a huge pile of white cotton sheeting ripped into skimpy oblongs. Jesse stripped down and stashed her clothes on top of a dresser. Draping the cloth around her body was a tricky deal. She removed her bra, as the straps were too obvious, though she was keeping her bikini briefs on at all costs. Her toga was a little on the short side, but it was simple enough to pin the folds at her left shoulder and let the drapes fall around her waist and thighs. The hardest thing was actually leaving the room wearing little more than a diaper.
When she came back to the hall, her immediate embarrassment seeped away. The house was full of weirdos dressed exactly like her. In fact, the ensemble gave the same comfort and anonymity of a uniform of sorts. She blended in. Her first gay party and she blended in! Here I am at a party with a beer bottle in my hand strolling around half naked. And it’s cool.
She cruised the downstairs rooms with growing confidence. The more she looked the more she noted familiar faces. It came as no surprise that these kids, some of them peers, should be laughing and dancing and having fun. It was like any other party she had been to, except this crowd did it in same-sex mode.
“I see the Vestal Virgin has arrived.” Lorrie appeared beside her. “Thanks for coming, Jess.” Her smile was genuine. “I thought you’d bail.”
“I seriously considered it,” Jesse confessed. “But I’m glad I made it. This is fun.”
Bette came up behind Lorrie and rested her chin on her shoulder, her arms slung casually around Lorrie’s waist. Her gaze slid slowly over Jesse’s outfit.
“Amo, amas, I love your ass,” she drawled. She cracked a sideways grin and Jesse noted the glazed eyes. Bette was stoned. Lorrie, too. She surreptitiously tugged at her toga hemline to make sure her ass was covered.
“Here.” Bette handed over a joint.
Jesse shook her head. “Not yet.”
She was too self-conscious of her state of dress and overloaded with the sexual tension running through the house. The place was a pheromone farm. The last thing she needed was a further chemical infusion. She felt hot and awkward and wanted to get away and sit by herself for a while.
“Beer.” She waved her empty bottle at Bette and Lorrie and scuttled off toward the kitchen. Her body hummed with relief at every step that put her farther from Bette and Lorrie.
*
Jesse was partway through her third brew when Bette found her perched on the top flight of the stairs. The stairwell had become the chill out zone for party refugees and was hazed in a fog of marijuana smoke.
“So.” Bette squeezed in beside her. “How are you enjoying it?” Her speech was less slurred, but she still had a crazy eyed look.
“It’s cool. I know at least a dozen people here.” Jesse was catching up with her. She’d had a few beers and several tokes and felt incredibly mellow but far from stoned.
“From school?”
“Mostly, and sports fixtures.”
“You’re looking a little glassy-eyed. Are you smashed, Colvin?” Bette nudged her shoulder.
“A little, but I’m a lightweight compared to you.” She became acutely aware of Bette’s naked thigh squished against her own. It was electric.
“No. I think you process alcohol quickly. Sign of a fit body. A very fit body.” Bette’s words hung between them. Jesse caught her gaze and had difficulty reading it. It was intense and dark and a little wild.
“You’ve been avoiding me lately,” Bette said.
Jesse blinked. Bette held her gaze and continued. “Is it because Lorrie kissed you? I’m cool with that, if that’s what’s bothering you.”
Jesse felt her face flame. “It was nothing. Just a friendly peck, is all.” She tried a nonchalant shrug but only succeeded in bumping Bette’s shoulder more.
“Nothing? A friendly peck?” Bette said. “Oh, wait ’til I tell her. She’ll be crushed. She thinks she’s your puppy love. Hah!” And she broke into raucous laughter.
“No. No. Nothing like that.” It was awful. She felt like a fool. “Don’t tell her.”
“I told you I was cool,” Bette continued. “Lorrie told me the bitches be getting you down.” She cocked her head to one side. “She was being supportive, Lorrie-style. Try and look on it in a sisterly hug kind of thing.”
Jesse nodded absently. “Yeah, it was sweet of her.” And underscored her words for emphasis. “I mean it was nice…for a first kiss. First girl kiss, I mean. I didn’t find it sexy or anything. It didn’t turn me on.” Now her mouth was running on with her and she couldn’t stop. She wanted Bette to understand she hadn’t hit on Lorrie, or was even thinking about her inappropriately. She’d been too busy thinking about Bette inappropriately to have much time for Lorrie.
Bette laughed. “Lorrie will be devastated.”
Jesse smiled weakly and smoothed her forefinger over the condensation beads on her beer bottle. “I’m sure she’ll bounce back.”
She was conscious of Bette watching her collect the bottle’s moisture on her fingertip. She looked lost in thought for a moment. Then she seemed to come to a decision, and she reached for Jesse’s hand.
“Come on.” They rose to their feet. Neither spoke as Bette led them to a bedroom at the rear of the house.
Jesse went along mute and willing. Her chest felt tight. She knew why she was here. Why she’d followed Bette to the darkened room. They closed the door behind them and stood silently facing each other. Jesse stepped toward Bette and kissed her, and the world ignited.
Their tongues rolled gently, cautiously tasting each other. Jesse began to shiver; she was intoxicated with excitement. She reached for Bette’s waist, pulling her closer. Bette fumbled with the pin on her shoulder, and the cloth whispered to the floor soon followed by Bette’s own toga. The cool, firm frisson of their naked breasts thrummed at Jesse’s body. She trembled in Bette’s arms, moaning her need into her mouth.
Bette pulled her to the bed and they tumbled onto the covers. She pressed Jesse onto her back and they lay, legs entwined, kissing until Bette broke the kiss and slithered lower. She pulled Jesse’s nipple into her mouth and began to lavish it with long, lazy strokes until Jesse’s mind swirled in time with Bette’s tongue. Heat built between her legs, and her hips moved in a primal rhythm against Bette’s thigh. Bette continued to tease first one breast then the other, massaging with her fingers and then her lips. Her practiced kisses moved from breast to throat to lips while her hands ran over her body thrilling the flesh until she moaned for more. Jesse was sure she was going to explode. The pressure building up in her belly, her chest, and her head was too intense. Her frail human body was going to combust like a firework into a million flaming fragments. Bette began to pull at her briefs, tugging at the cotton waistline and helping Jesse raise her hips to slide them off.
The bedroom door opened a crack, and a shaft of light streaked acros
s the bedroom carpet toward the bed. Jesse froze. Someone slithered into the room. Then the door clicked shut plunging the room back into darkness.
Jesse began to freak, but Bette propped up on her elbow and looked quizzically at their visitor. Their uninvited guest moved quickly toward them. Jesse struggled to sit up, but Bette’s hand held her down with the flat of her palm on her chest.
“Relax,” she whispered, “it’s just Lorrie.”
That made Jesse struggle even more, and Bette pressed even firmer. A soft rustle alerted Jesse that Lorrie was shedding her toga. The bed dipped as another body joined them, and she felt the cool touch of Lorrie’s skin spooned in behind her. She was lying between Lorrie and Bette. A naked sandwich.
“What have we here?” Lorrie’s whisper tickled her ear. “Are you fooling around with my girl, Jesse Colvin? I am shocked. I thought I was your squeeze.”
Jesse twisted around to protest. Lorrie took the opportunity to kiss her open mouth, thrusting her tongue in roughly and not at all like their kiss in the parking lot. Bette lowered her head to suck hard on Jesse’s nipple. Jesse’s cry of shock was lost. Lorrie’s kiss was strong and forceful; she devoured Jesse’s mouth, sucking hard just as Bette did on her breast.
Lorrie’s kiss was totally different from Bette’s. She was hard and dominant, pushing Jesse’s protestations into whimpers. Meanwhile, Bette gorged herself on Jesse’s breasts with renewed energy, nipping the soft swell and flicking the hard tips. Her free hand trailed down Jesse’s belly and pushed the panties down past her knees.
Bette’s fingers dipped between Jesse’s legs playing against the moist curls before separating the outer folds of her sex. Jesse bucked at the intensity of the touch. Lorrie’s kiss deepened. She held Jesse tighter, bringing her free hand around Jesse’s body to palm a breast, massaging it boldly, rubbing the nipple into an erect peak with the flat of her hand.
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