She held up a hand to stop him. “You know what? Don’t. You don’t need to say something you don’t mean. It’s okay. Really. It was probably a mistake. We should just forget about it.”
“But I do mean—”
“You need to go out and shovel so you can get to your workshop, and I need to get this mess cleaned up.” And instantly, she sprang into action. As she fluttered around rinsing dishes and placing them in the dishwasher, she chattered on almost without taking a breath.
“I was thinking of doing some baking while you’re outside doing your thing, if that’s all right. It will help pass the time. I saw you have all kinds of options for dinner, so if you have a preference, let me know, so I can take that out as well.”
“Darcy…”
“Oh, and if it’s all right with you, I’d like to do that load of laundry. You’ll need to tell me where the laundry room is, and I meant what I said last night. I’ll take care of anything else you have to put in as a way of saying thank you and so I’m not wasting the water on such a small load of clothes.”
Ben watched in fascination as she moved around, and it seemed that in the blink of an eye, the kitchen was clean, and there was nothing but silence around them. And it was beyond awkward.
“Oh, and I’ll probably work on the book stuff too at some point.” She paused. “So is all that okay with you?” she finally asked after a long moment.
There was nothing wrong with anything she was asking of him. She wanted to bake? Great. He’d reap the benefits of it. She wanted to take something out for dinner? Wonderful. They were going to need to eat. She wanted to do some laundry? He had a couple of towels, a pair of jeans, and a shirt he could add to the load.
But none of this interested him. At all. He wanted to go back to talking about the kiss. Why was it a mistake? Why did they have to forget about it? And why couldn’t he just haul her into his arms and do it all again?
One look at her face, and he had his answer.
She wasn’t comfortable with it.
And as much of a bastard as Ben knew he could be, the last thing he would ever do—ever!—was force himself on her. Or anyone. What had made their kiss so damn incredible was that it was mutual. The heat and the need was on both of them. But right now? The only thing coming from Darcy was a sense of vulnerability and uncertainty.
Not a good combination.
So he’d let this go.
For now.
Swallowing hard, he gave a quick nod. “Help yourself to anything you need.” He looked around and let out a small sigh. “As for dinner, there’re some steaks in the freezer, and we can do them on the grill like we did the other night. I don’t mind using it in the snow. So if you’re good with that, they would be my choice.”
Darcy nodded.
“And as for the laundry, it’s downstairs next to the office. I have some things I wouldn’t mind tossing in, and I’ll put them in the washing machine on my way out.”
And before he did anything like beg and grovel for another taste, he simply walked away.
* * *
The laundry was going.
She’d made enough cookie dough for several dozen cookies and baked a cake.
And she was slowly losing her mind.
Yeah, her usual happy place—baking in the kitchen—was so not cutting it right now. She’d used up most of the basic ingredients and knew if she kept going, she was going to have to get creative. Why the hell had she stopped Ben earlier? Right now, she could be naked and satisfied in that amazing bed of his and feeling completely at peace, and instead, her fingers were coated in cookie dough and she was frustrated.
Good plan, Darce.
Okay, he’d scared her. Or maybe she’d scared herself. It was all just so intense. So…everything. She felt consumed and hot and bothered, and her heart had felt so damn full that she’d almost had a panic attack over the whole thing.
What the hell was that about?
Sex! She was just supposed to want sex! It would be a great way to pass the time, get out of her slump, and move on. Why had emotions gone and gotten in the way? Or worse, her heart. She wasn’t that girl.
Or at least she had thought she wasn’t that girl.
Rinsing her hands off, she walked over to the kitchen table and sat with a sigh. Wasn’t this exactly what she had been worrying about a week ago at Riley’s house? She wanted to feel like this. She wanted to be wanted like this.
She just didn’t think she wanted it with Ben.
And what was so wrong with Ben?
Um, the whole crush on Savannah thing, she reminded herself. But then instantly, she pushed that aside. He had a point last night, and so did Anna. Darcy knew she was flirty with some of her guy friends, and it had nothing to do with being attracted to them.
Right now, she needed to come to grips with why she was being so closed-minded about Ben.
He was sexy, attractive, considerate—he had saved her from being stranded in an airport in a storm—and when she wasn’t arguing with him and actually let herself relax and have a conversation with him, she found he was funny and someone she enjoyed talking to.
Looking around, she took in her surroundings and sighed. There was the whole he looked a little like a lumberjack and lived like a mountain man thing, but was that so bad? Probably not. She wasn’t looking for forever with him. Maybe she was looking for a hot and heavy fling.
And boy, did she want to get flung.
For hours at a time.
And after discovering how Ben kissed and how she responded to those kisses, Darcy had no doubt that getting flung by him would be incredibly satisfying.
So how did she get them to that place? How did she approach him when he came inside after shoveling and let him know she would be agreeable to…flinging?
“Ugh,” she murmured as the timer on the oven went off. Rising, she walked over to her baking station and started rolling the dough into little balls to place on the baking sheets. “I need to come up with a better metaphor than that.”
Rather than obsess on euphemisms, she simply let herself get into the groove of getting the cookies formed and onto their sheets. It was mindless work and the perfect distraction at the moment. Once she had everything ready to go, she began placing things into the oven and setting timers and starting her cleanup.
This was good.
This was what she needed.
Part of the problem was that she’d stayed up late reading sexy snowed-in stories. It was feeding her imagination.
At least partly.
Ben being sexy as all get-out was feeding the rest.
And she was just going to have to wait and see what she could come up with where Ben was concerned.
Chapter 5
The damn snow just kept falling.
Every muscle in Ben’s body ached, and he knew the only thing he was going to accomplish by staying outside was getting a case of hypothermia. With a sigh of disgust, he walked into the house. As much as he wanted to get at least a small path to the workshop, Mother Nature was refusing to cooperate, and he couldn’t fight anymore.
Plus, he was too damn distracted to put the effort he needed into the task.
Darcy.
As soon as he closed the door behind him, it was like she was everywhere. The hum of the washing machine, the smell of freshly baked cookies… Even if he didn’t know she was there, he would know she was there. It was a very domestic scene and one that should freak him out, and yet it didn’t.
It comforted.
It soothed.
And dammit, he instantly had images of her waiting for him upstairs in nothing but an apron and maybe some lace and high heels and…
Where the hell did that come from?
“I’m losing my damn mind,” he muttered as he slowly peeled off his snow-covered coat and gloves. His han
ds were mildly numb, his jeans were soaked, and it was almost painful to sit on the bench to pull off his boots.
“Hey, I was… Oh my God! Are you okay?” Darcy cried as she stepped into the mud room. She instantly dropped to her knees in front of him and swatted his hands away from his boots. “Let me do that.”
Ben was too tired to argue. If anything, he suddenly felt more fatigued than he had a minute ago. Leaning against the wall, he let her remove his boots, and then she did the same for his socks.
“You are soaked to the skin! What were you thinking?”
“I was trying…I needed to…” Hell, even speaking felt like it required a herculean effort.
Slowly, she pulled him to his feet. “Come on. Use the shower here, and get warmed up. I’ll go upstairs and get you dry clothes and make you something hot to drink. Just please go and get under the hot water or something.” She led him into the bathroom and had the shower turned on before he could respond. Steam began to fill the room.
“Do you need any help?” she asked, but he heard the hesitation in her voice. A few minutes ago, his answer would have been an enthusiastic “Hell yes,” but right now, all he could do was shake his head. “I’ll be right back,” she said and then fled from the room, closing the door behind her.
It took him longer than he would have liked, but he stripped and stepped under the shower spray. It stung like a son of a bitch, but it didn’t take long for him to adjust and simply relax. Damn. What had he been thinking? He’d purposely stayed out there longer than he knew he should have, and he could have hurt himself because of it.
And for what? Because he was hiding from a beautiful woman?
Yeah. That made sense.
He lathered up and rinsed off and simply gave himself the chance to enjoy the water before he shut it off. It was amazing how much better he felt. Reaching out, he found two towels stacked on the vanity, grabbed one of them, and began to dry off. Darcy knocked softly on the door, and for a moment, Ben froze.
“Ben? Are you okay?”
“I’m good,” he replied, his voice a little gruff.
“I…I have some dry clothes for you. I’ll leave them outside the door.”
Actually, he had been hoping she’d come into the room, but he supposed it wasn’t the best time for that. “Thanks.”
He waited a few minutes before stepping out of the shower and getting the clothes. When he opened the door, he had no idea where she was, and he didn’t linger to find out. He grabbed the clothes and got dressed. When he stepped out of the bathroom, he headed for the stairs. But then he stopped when he heard a noise in his office.
Stepping into the doorway, he froze.
It was clean and organized and…
And that’s when he spotted Darcy sitting on the floor in the corner, sorting through a pile of paperwork.
“What the hell are you doing?”
She looked up at him as if he were crazy. “What does it look like? I’m organizing your office.”
Ben stepped into the room and began to look around frantically. “Darcy, you can’t…you shouldn’t…dammit!” He raked a hand through his damp hair in frustration. “You have no idea what I do or how I want it done. How the hell am I supposed to find anything now?”
Rising with a sigh, she walked over to his desk. “First of all, this is my thing.”
“No,” he interrupted. “It’s not. This is my office. My business. My stuff.”
She looked over her shoulder at him and rolled her eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that, doofus. What I meant is organizing office stuff is my thing. I’ve done it for my dad and his business and helped my brother Aidan with his business too.” She shrugged. “It comes naturally to me.”
Walking over to stand beside her, Ben rested a hip on the desk and tried to control the rage he felt. “Darcy, you had no right to come in here and touch anything. I had it under control. Somewhat. I mean, I know it needed to be organized, but everything was in a place where I knew where it was.”
The look she gave him showed she knew he was lying. “Really? And you feel like your system was working for you?”
Now he had to try to save face, so he crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. “Yup.”
“Okay, then,” she began, and he knew instantly she was prepared for this response from him. “So tell me this—were you aware that you have not one, not two, but three checks for large amounts of money sitting on your desk that you have yet to deposit?”
“Three?”
“One of them is dated over a month ago,” she said, picking it up and waving it at him. “This check is for almost ten grand. Are you telling me you are so financially secure you can afford to have this much money sitting here collecting dust?”
“Well, no. But—”
“And this one is for eight, and the third is for about five. So you’re looking at over twenty grand sitting on your desk because you couldn’t take the time to do your paperwork or go to the bank.”
“It isn’t any of your business,” he snapped.
“And then there’s the phone.”
He sort of stopped and stared at her for a minute. “The phone?”
She nodded. “It rings. A lot.”
He groaned, almost growled. “Please tell me you didn’t answer the phone.”
“Of course I did. It wouldn’t stop, and it was getting annoying.”
Straightening to his full height, he towered over her in hopes of intimidating her.
It didn’t work.
“Oh please. I have five brothers who are all as big as you. Save the effort,” she quipped. “Anyway, you had three calls from people looking to have you do work for them—new homes, unique pieces, blah, blah, blah. I told them you were booked well into next year, and if they were interested to email you their specs, and when you had a free moment, you’d look at them.”
“Darcy—”
“But the phone was not the best way to reach you,” she went on. “They all thanked me and mentioned they had each left several messages for you that you haven’t returned.”
“I listened to the messages.”
“When?” she asked with a knowing grin.
What was the point in all this, he wondered. “So now they’re all going to email me?”
She nodded.
“I won’t get to the emails any faster than the phone messages,” he told her, feeling he had trumped her in some way.
“Sure you will. You can check email on your phone. Set a reminder on it for each day at a certain time, and see what’s new in your inbox. I can help you with that if you don’t know how. It will only take a few minutes, and you can start getting caught up so you don’t get so behind again.”
“I’m not behind—”
“You are so totally behind that it’s not even funny,” she said and then laughed for emphasis. “Besides the checks, I saw several of the invoices for work you’re currently doing. They had notes on them—I’m assuming from you—and they’re not closed out.” She picked up several papers from his desk and held them up to show him. “And from the dates on them, they are close to being due. I haven’t seen any updates on either paper or your computer or—”
“You went on my computer?” he yelled and then had to step away from her because he was ready to throttle her. “Do you have any concept of boundaries?”
“Of course I do,” she said mildly and began stacking up the papers she had showed him and putting them in neat piles. “The system you use isn’t very complicated, and if you want my opinion—”
“I don’t.”
“—you need a better program for keeping track of all this stuff. Something where you can incorporate not only your specs and design and notes but also the financials. I think I can find one that will work for you and won’t be hard for you to use. Are you good with computer stuff?”
>
Was she serious? Didn’t she see how he was using a Word document for everything? Of course he wasn’t good with computer stuff. He didn’t want to be good with computer stuff. Hell, the last thing in the world he wanted to do was computer stuff.
“By your lack of response and the scowl on your face, I have my answer,” she observed. “So I’ll make a note to find something very basic.”
“Darcy, I don’t want you finding a program for me. I don’t want you cleaning the office for me. I don’t want to change the way I do things. And finally, I don’t want anyone touching my stuff. You have the book to work on. That’s it. The rest of this is off-limits. Do you understand?” Ben was almost breathless by the time he got all that out, and he let out a ragged sigh and went back to leaning against the desk. And instantly regretted his outburst.
The room did look a hell of a lot better than it had hours ago.
He had forgotten about those checks.
And really, this was one big mess that he no longer had to deal with.
So why was he so upset, again?
When he dared to look over at Darcy, he expected to see defiance. Or outrage. Or anger.
He didn’t expect to see hurt or those big, beautiful eyes filled with tears.
Shit.
He instantly straightened and went to go to her, but Darcy quickly swiped at her eyes and turned away.
“You know what? You’re right. I’m sorry. This was all very presumptuous of me. I…I was bored, and I thought you wouldn’t mind me coming in here and doing this. I could tell you were overwhelmed with all of it, and I just wanted to help. I’m sorry.”
“Darcy. No. I—”
“It’s okay. Really. I…I need to go and make a call. I’ll see you at dinner,” she said as she brushed past him and walked out of the room.
Ben’s immediate reaction was to let her go, give them each time to cool down before he apologized.
“Screw that,” he murmured and went after her.
She must have run up the stairs, because he didn’t catch her on the flight up to the main floor, and by the time he was at the foot of the stairs to the second floor, he heard her bedroom door close. He took the stairs two at a time, and at her door, he didn’t even knock.
Holiday Spice Page 11
