“What happened to you?” I couldn’t figure out why he could be so stressed out.
“I had to take Bailey home, Cody took Chessie, but I still had to drive my sister across town, and it took me a little bit to get back here.” He was leaning on the doorframe now, still breathing too hard for me to buy that he had just hurried in his truck. “Truck got a flat tire about two miles down that way”—he nodded his head back in the direction of the road—“I got it steered off the road, and I ran the rest of the way here.” Beck had caught his breath right now and was standing in front of my only partially opened door with his eyebrows raised, waiting for me to let him in.
“Your truck got a flat? And you ran here? You didn’t think to use the phone to call for help?”
“What? I have triple A, I can call a tow truck later. It’s fine where it’s at, you gonna let me in?”
“See, here’s the thing,” I murmured shyly, now that I was pretty sure he wasn’t mad at me right now, “I’m not decent.”
“You naked?”
“Um, no.”
“Well damn.” He looked genuinely disappointed for a moment. “Well, if you aren’t naked then that sucks, but then, you are probably decent enough, so just open the door, Regina, like now.” He didn’t wait for me, just shouldered his way into the small space I had made and swung the door open wide. He didn’t even give me a chance to get out of the way, just muscled his way inside my house and crowded my small entryway with his large body, swinging the door shut behind him and effectively trapping me against the narrow corridor wall.
Oh God, he smelled good, and looked good and probably tasted good, too. Shit. He was too close, and I couldn’t think with his thighs touching mine and my back touching the wall. The last time I was in this position I lost my panties, what was I going to lose tonight?
Constantly thrown off balance when I was around Beck, he didn’t disappoint me tonight either. Instead of looking down at me to speak, he smashed me to his chest in a crushing bear hug. Then rested his chin on the top of my head in a now familiar move, and with my nose still pressed into the buttons of his flannel shirt, he spoke, his voice a gentle rumble, “It is customary to look a person in the eye when you are giving them an apology, Regina.”
“I’m sorry” my reply was muffled by his shirt, and he still hadn’t let me out of the bear hug.
“Shut up, I’m telling you a thing. You let me talk because I have some things to say. And then when I am done saying them, I am going to kiss you, and then we won’t be saying anything for a long time, so give me my five minutes.”
Well then, that was pretty blunt and to the point. I shut up and let him talk.
“You didn’t look at me and I was upset for a second, but watching you be brave enough to fall apart like that in front of so many strangers, I don’t know that I could have done it myself. I knew you were talking to me though, I heard you, okay?” The tears started leaking out of my eyes, I could tell because the front of his shirt, that was currently swaddling my face, was slowly becoming warm and wet.
“I’m just a normal guy, Regina. And I’m going to mess up plenty enough on my own. I can’t be taking responsibility for things that some asshole did to you before you even met me, okay?” I could only nod, but he wasn’t waiting for me to answer anyway. “And when you saw Chessie and me coming out of the shop, we were getting ready to head to a meeting. She’d had a really triggering moment and needed a little extra sympathy. I get what it looked like to you, okay, I get that, but your response was to stab first when you should have been asking questions. I have a responsibility to Chessie, and you were hurting her. Removing you from the situation was the only way I could think to keep her calm and from going on a bender. If I am ever wrong, I expect you to talk to me about it, and we will work through it, just like I will with you. You just have to give me the chance to do my own screwing up, not blame me for things I haven’t actually done. Deal?”
“Don’t tell me to go away again, deal?” I would crack into dust and my particles would fly away on the wind if he ever said those words to me again, so it took a lot for me to put that request out into the world.
“Deal. Oh, and before I forget, I am supposed to ask you something else. Chessie said that she had never seen anyone lose their shit so thoroughly in front of a bunch of strangers outside of meetings, and you weren’t even part of the program. You have achieved idol status with her, holy shit, I thought I saw actual stars in her eyes when she was talking about you. Also, my sister is pissed that I hadn’t actually mentioned you yet, which I would have, eventually. So, at the request of every-fucking-body that was at the meeting tonight, and my perfectly dysfunctional little tattoo family, would you, Regina, like to accompany me to the meeting next Wednesday?” He let me go and backed up enough that I had room to look up and meet his eyes. The feelings in his gaze took my breath away. He may have said the words lightly and with humor, but the look in his dark eyes was serious and heartfelt. He was opening up his heart and his life to me, showing me vulnerability, and a permanence that was a bit different than an “I love you.” We may have just been in the “I like you a lot” stage of our relationship, but he had the door to his life swung wide open, and was inviting me in to share it with him.
I walked through that metaphorical doorway without hesitation. “There is nowhere else I would rather be. I quit my job in Las Vegas. Publicly actually, you can google it, so I have zero plans at this time. I am yours, do what you will.”
“Will do, thanks.” With an involuntary squeak as my world turned upside down, I was unceremoniously slung across Beck’s wide shoulders, fireman style. His large, warm hand slapped a whip crack across my ass, but then rubbed slow circles across the cheeks to ease the sting.
“Jesus, Beck, must you?”
“I must,” he said as he walked toward the stairs in no particular hurry. No big deal, just swinging a lady across his shoulders getting ready to ravish her. No biggie. I’m pretty sure I heard him whistling, “Turn down for what,” under his breath, and another thought occurred to me as he took the first step.
“Beck, I just got it replaced, don’t break my bed.”
He paused on that first step, and I thought he was considering my words, but he was really just coiling up his legs like springs and bracing to take the steps two at a time in a dead run.
“I promise nothing,” he yelled over his shoulder at me, which was unnecessary, because my head was hanging halfway down his back, so really, he was just yelling at my ass which was right next to his face. “I promise nothing,” he said again at the top of the stairs, right before he strode into my bedroom and tossed me onto the brand new bed, with its brand new sheets and comforter set. And those were the last words anyone said for quite some time.
About the Author
Desiree lives in Northwest Ohio with her husband, two children, and two rowdy cats. She is a craft addicted, roller skating amateur foody who loves wine and snacks. Mostly snacks. To keep up with her next project, or just to see what she is getting into at the moment go to
Website: www.desireelafawn.com
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The Permanence of Pain Page 13
