Andy snapped his head up and felt a surge of fire rocketing him off that desk. He took the stairs two at a time, and Jed was right behind him. Andy started opening doors at the end of the hall, banging them open, flicking on lights. He froze in the third room, his hand still hovering on the light switch, as he stared at the suite, decorated in white and lavender with a hint of gold on the trim. It was a fully furnished nursery with two of everything, as if waiting for his babies.
“Oh my God.” It was all he could say as he stepped in the room, jamming his fingers in his hair and yanking. He turned in a circle and stared at Jed, who was frowning and eyeing the entire room. “Jed, I swear to God I didn’t know this was here. I’d never do this to Laura.”
Jed was watching him in a hard, mysterious way. Andy didn’t know what he was thinking. Then he flicked his gaze away and nodded.
“Yeah, well, you can be an unscrupulous bastard, Andy, but I didn’t think this had you written on it.” Jed faced Andy again. “You know Laura’s not going to come back here.”
“I know. But I need to see her.”
Jed nodded and started out the door. “Well, it might help if you tell her how you really feel about her, too.”
“I’m not letting her go, Jed.”
Jed started walking. “Yeah, well, I was hoping you would say that. Do you want to ride with me?”
Andy hurried down the stairs, side by side with Jed. “I’ll follow you. Just do me a favor, Jed.” He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, watching Jed study him in that inflexible way of his. “When you call Diana, don’t tell her I’m coming for Laura. You and I both know she’ll start running again.”
“You right behind me?”
Andy grabbed his leather coat from the closet. “Let’s go.”
He followed his cousin out the door, but what he didn’t see was Caroline, watching from the second floor railing, tapping her long, manicured nails on the wood rail.
Chapter 21
Andy followed Jed’s truck, keeping the red taillights as his guide all the way out to his ranch. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t know the way, because he could do this drive in his sleep. It was that he’d felt his entire world and everything he believed crumble around him. The entire drive, he waged a battle with his emotions, from the horror he felt at the thought of Laura having been on the side of the highway, drenched from the rain at night with Gabriel, to the fury he felt towards her for having run away. They could have been killed, since people couldn’t see squat as the rain came down on the black pavement, with no moon or lights anywhere.
Who had picked them up on the side of the road? He forgot to ask Jed that part. The fact that she had run and didn’t trust him enough to ask him, to just know he wouldn’t do something that horrible, cut into his heart and burned as if someone were pouring acid over an open wound. Couldn’t she see how much she meant to him?
By the time he had pulled in front of Jed’s house, beside his truck, he’d tossed every conceivable dark thing that could have happened to Laura and Gabriel through his mind, and he wanted to punch something. He still couldn’t get past his need to put his hands on his wife and shake her senseless. What the hell were they doing with all this running? He loved Gabriel, and that boy needed him. He knew deep down that Laura did, too, but this had now become a matter of trust.
Jed waited for him to walk around the front of his truck, and even in the pitch black of night, the little house looked so warm and welcoming that Andy was glad that Laura had come here.
***
She felt the touch on her shoulder, the strong hand. For a moment, as she slowly woke and opened her eyes, she felt safe, until she blinked a couple times and her awareness returned. She remembered what she’d run from and was stung by betrayal. She could smell him, and he still had that scent that reeled her to him. She realized she’d become a yo-yo, back and forth, between loving him and having her guts ripped and shredded, crying over him night after night. She needed to hate him, she had to, and as he slid his arm under her and helped her sit up on the sofa where she’d lain down and fallen asleep, her heart did a flip-flop right before she felt everything beneath her crumble when she glimpsed a shimmer of tears in those mesmerizing blue eyes.
“You scared the life out of me. What the hell, Laura…?” She could see the tremble in his jaw as he clamped it tight. “Why would you believe I could do something that despicable?”
His hands were on her, holding her shoulders, holding her. She glimpsed Diana and Jed hovering in the background, Jed holding Diana in his arms.
“I heard them, Andy. Are you telling me you didn’t know? How am I supposed to believe that, Andy, after what I heard?” Her voice sounded rough.
“It’s about trust, Laura. I thought we’d gotten there. Answer me this: Did you hear my voice? Because you wouldn’t have. My God, you think I could pretend when I had you under me, making love to you, that you meant nothing? You must believe I’m the worst kind of monster and one hell of an actor if you think I could pull that off.” He spat out the words, and his hands gripped her shoulders a little harder than usual. She could feel the battle he waged inside himself. He probably wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled.
“Andy, I felt sucker punched, and I…” She bit her tongue because she couldn’t tell him how she felt about him. She couldn’t tell him she loved him. “How I feel about you and us, I have never been so scared in my life. I felt trapped, imprisoned. Someone had power over me. They could take my babies and discard me as if I were nothing. And I heard your mother….”
“My mother has no say in my life, in our life, in our babies’ lives,” Andy barked out.
Laura watched the odd expression exchanged between Diana and Jed, and she had a sick feeling that what she believed wasn’t so black and white.
“Are you telling me you didn’t know anything about Doctor Richardson’s plans for a C-section and to take my babies? What about the nursery that I found in the house? That is not a coincidence, Andy, not at all.” She was having a hard time talking, as her throat had thickened. What had she done? She felt sick all of sudden at sneaking out the way she did, without even leaving a note for Andy. What must he have thought?
She couldn’t stop the tremble in her face as she felt herself falling apart again. The tears, there was no stopping them. She looked at the one man she truly loved, the first man who’d stolen her heart, and there was no hope she’d ever get it back. He had the power to crush her, to love her and destroy her. As she felt the sofa sink beside her and Andy’s thigh press against hers, he slid his arm around her and pulled her into his arms. She couldn’t speak, but she did hold on to his jacket and bury her face into him, breathing him in, his earthy fragrance that her body craved, just like the nutrients she needed to nurture her babies.
“Laura, Andy didn’t know anything about this,” Jed said, speaking up.
She nodded and just let Andy hold her. She couldn’t speak, because she was ashamed that she’d leaped on that wagon, thinking he was the evildoer instead of trusting and talking to him. Hindsight was a powerful tool to have. Hadn’t she and Andy just travelled this road? They were still dirty and dusty, with the treads burned into them.
“I’m so sorry.” She couldn’t stop crying.
“Well, why the hell didn’t you ask me? Why couldn’t you trust me? You should have come to me as soon as you heard what you did and told me, Laura.”
If she wasn’t pregnant, she was pretty sure he would have pulled away, because she could feel his tightly coiled anger all wrapped up with confusion and frustration. Could she blame him? She wanted to kick herself and didn’t know what to say to make it up to him.
“I can’t do this with you running away. You either want to be my wife, Laura, or you don’t.”
She nodded. She was too choked up to get the words out, as her throat had long since closed up. Then, ever so slowly, she slid her hand down his arm to his wrist, and she rested her hand on his thigh as if she had every rig
ht, and he flinched. She sat up, and his arm was still looped around her, and she stared at him through a haze. She swiped at her eyes roughly, feeling the sting, then at her nose with her sleeve.
“I do.” She nodded again when she choked.
“Laura, I need to know this time whether you’re all in, because when I opened that door to our bedroom and saw the empty bed, and then Gabriel’s, too, I searched the entire house, and you have no idea the dark places my head went. Then I find out you had snuck out the back door like some thief in the night and hitchhiked along a dark highway, in the condition you’re in, with Gabriel, who had to be terrified. You could have been killed or hurt, you and Gabriel. I can’t do this anymore with you.”
“I love you, Andy, and I’m sorry, but when I heard Doctor Richardson say she’d do a C-section on me and take my babies so I couldn’t see them, and then your mother said you were pretending with me and you couldn’t wait to be rid of me, I didn’t want to believe it, but then I saw that nursery. You don’t know what that did to me. I wanted to hate you, but I still couldn’t, because I gave you my heart long ago and I never got it back. I didn’t want to tell you because you have the power to rip my heart to shreds, but you’ve never told me once how you feel about me.”
He held her face in his one hand as if making her look at him, and what she saw tore open her heart a little more. “Don’t you know how I feel? My God, Laura, I am not that good of an actor. Yes, I’ve always cared for you, and when you walked out the first time, I felt like crap because I didn’t treat you as I should have. But this time, when I got you back, Laura, we… Couldn’t you tell how I felt about you?”
“I need to hear it, Andy. I need you to tell me how you feel, because I don’t want to have to guess and wonder whether it’s just my imagination. You made me feel like an obligation, and you know you did. Then, this last time, I knew you cared, but I couldn’t help wondering if it was just the babies.”
He shut his eyes and glanced away a second, but he didn’t let go of her face, as if he was hanging on to her.
She slid her hand over his. “Please, Andy.”
“Yeah, well, baby, you had me long ago. I didn’t want to admit it. You can’t keep running away, Laura. I need you to promise me you won’t run again, because I love you. When you do this and take off, I feel as if you’ve scraped away all that’s good between us and thrown it back in my face. And Gabriel, I love him as if he’s mine. You can’t just take him anymore; you can’t let him build a relationship with me and rip that from him, too, and from me. You’re not being fair, Laura.”
No one said anything. Laura watched him. His expression was a mirror of what she’d felt, somewhere between love and frustration and hurt. She felt everything that she knew to be real shift, as if the room had tilted and the only thing she could do was reach out to Andy as he dropped his hand from her face and fisted it as if he had to fight to keep from touching her.
She ran her hand over his face and the scratchy dark whiskers. She ran her thumb over his lips and realized he was so tired. He’d been handling everything, and how must he have felt to hear what his mother had done?
“All I can say, Andy, is that I’m sorry. I didn’t want to believe it, but I was scared. I didn’t know, and I wish I could go back and talk to you, but I can’t. I won’t run again, but I’m not going back to that house, Andy. I will not live under the same roof as your mother. I don’t want her in my life, but I want you.”
“Andy, you need to find out about this doctor lady, too.” Jed was holding Diana in his arms, watching Laura and Andy.
“Jed’s right, Andy. If what Laura heard this doctor say to Caroline, doing a C-section, taking her babies from her, well, I’d say this is grounds to have this doctor’s medical license revoked. Maybe talk to the sheriff. Mention it, but keep in mind it could come down to Laura’s words against a prominent doctor and your mother, especially since there were no witnesses,” Diana said, her voice filled with emotion. “Andy, for what it’s worth, that’s every woman’s worst nightmare, that someone will take her baby, especially someone she should feel safe with.”
“Look, we’re all tired,” Jed said. “It’s been a long night, and the kids are going to be up soon. Andy, why don’t you and Laura stay up in the loft above the barn? Everything’s still there for you.” Jed gestured to the door. “Andy, we’ll talk in the morning about this doctor of yours.”
Andy stood up and pulled Laura up with him. Laura felt his arm tighten around her.
“I’ll grab Gabriel take him with us,” he said.
Andy started down the hall when Diana said, “No, leave him. Jed will move him into Danny’s room. You two, go get some sleep. I know I’m about ready to fall over.”
Laura didn’t know what to say. Her head was so thick she couldn’t think clearly. She wanted to sleep now for a week, because she had Andy and she wanted to lean into him and just let everything go. As soon as he stepped beside her, she took his hand.
“Thank you, Jed, Diana, for everything. I don’t know what to say,” she said.
“Just get some sleep, Laura. Your husband and I will deal with this in the morning.”
Laura didn’t miss the sharp look shared between both men and then Diana, who glanced at the ceiling and shook her head as if she’d been down that road one too many times with a man who was going to handle something whether she wanted him to or not.
“Jed” was all Andy said as he ushered Laura out the door into the dark.
“You want a flashlight?” Jed called after them.
Andy had his arm around Laura, leading to the darkened barn. “No.”
“I can’t see anything, Andy.” Laura gripped his wrist, and when she stumbled, all Andy did was scoop her up and lift her in his arms. “Andy, I’m too heavy,” she said as she slid her arms around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder. She took a deep breath of the rich leather of his coat. It was so him, all his scent.
“The day I can’t carry you is the day you can put me out in the field. I won’t be any use to you.” Andy pulled her closer, his arm under her knees, the other around her back, carrying her with no effort as he yanked open the sliding barn door. He juggled Laura and strode in the dark barn to the door that led up to the loft, and he flicked on the lights and carried Laura up the stairs, setting her on the bed.
“It’s cold up here.” Laura shivered.
Andy helped Laura up and slid her sweater down her arms. “Get undressed and in bed. You’ll warm up under the covers. I’m going to lock up.”
Laura grabbed his arm. “I don’t want you to go. Please don’t leave me.”
He slid both hands over her cheeks, holding her face up to him. “I’m not leaving you. I’m just going to shut the barn door so critters aren’t wandering in the barn and locking our door so no one can get in. I’ll be right back.”
The floor creaked under the weight of Andy’s feet as he pounded down the stairs. She listened as the barn squeaked closed, and then the door at the bottom of the stairs. He turned the deadbolt and then climbed back up, and Laura just stood there watching.
“Get undressed and in bed. Come on, you’re shivering.”
Andy slid his hands under her shirt and lifted it over her head so Laura stood in just her bra and pants. He sat her on the bed, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of being treasured. He lifted her foot and removed first one shoe then the other, then helped her stand again and unclasped her bra, tossing it onto the floor as he slid his hands over her large breasts, now a C cup. Andy rubbed his palms over her nipples, and she leaned her head back and gasped. He slid his hand around her back and held her so she didn’t fall, and he lowered his head to her neck, breathing her in as she slid her arms around his neck and held him.
Andy kissed her neck and then her cheek, then brushed her lips with his, and she pressed her tongue to his, needing to taste him, be part of him. He pulled the tie holding up her cotton pants and then shoved his hands in the waistband, pushing
them down with her underwear until they pooled at her feet. “Step out.” He tore his lips away and then reached behind her, pulling back the covers. “Get in.”
“I want you in bed with me.” She pulled on his arm as he helped her under the covers, the chill of the icy sheets hitting her bare skin setting her teeth to shiver.
“Oh, I plan on doing just that.” He pulled the quilt up to her chin and then tossed his leather coat on the kitchen chair, unbuttoning his shirt, toeing off his boots and unbuckling his belt without taking his eyes off her.
With the warmth in his eyes and what she knew was coming with him, with his touch, his caress, she began to warm in anticipation. Even the doubt and uncertainty that had lingered in her heart, for the first time in forever, was gone.
Chapter 22
Laura leaned back against Andy, loving the sense of being his, feeling every part of him, so very male and warm and strong, pressing into her. It was as if a piece of her very own heaven had been cut out and handed to her on her very own platter, and there was only here and now, no tomorrow and yesterday. He had a way of making her feel safe now that she had dropped all those walls she kept nailing up around her, and if Dr. Richardson or Caroline or anyone tried to break through that door right now, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that they wouldn’t get past her husband.
He kissed her shoulder and then slid his hand over her large belly, over his babies, and she linked her fingers with his, loving the feel of his large hand.
“I love you,” she whispered, breathing in the cool air.
“Hmm,” he murmured, nuzzling her ear. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No, you feel so good. I can still feel you.”
Andy slid his hand over her hip. “You need to get some sleep.”
Laura turned her head toward him. “What about the doctor and what she said she was going to do? I don’t want her anywhere around me or delivering the babies.”
Runaway: The Sequel to Secrets, a sexy and dramatic western romance (Finding Love ~ THE OUTSIDER SERIES) Page 10
