by Erin Hayes
Ferdie kisses the edge of my lips. "To be continued," he promises, as he sits back on his side of the back seat. And even though there are just a couple of feet between us, I feel as though he might as well be back in Dubreva, because I feel that distance hard.
Then I realize that he still holds my panties in his hand, just as the car stops. I sit up in a quick movement, wondering what I should do, but he looks just as cool and suave as a billionaire prince should. Very deliberately, without taking his eyes off me, he tucks my panties into the breast pocket of his sports coat. His eyes sparkle in mischief. "I told you," he says, sounding amazingly calm as the car finally stops. "These are mine." The valets open both our doors. "You'll get them back when I say so."
He steps out of the car, and I try to do the same, but my knees feel so weak.
How the fuck can he act so normal?
He takes me hand and leads me through the lobby of the Shangri-La to the elevators. The attendant looks up at us as we approach the doors.
"Thirty-seventh floor," I croak to the attendant.
He pushes the button, and we wait for the lift to arrive. As if to assure me that he's still here at my side, Ferdie strokes the back of my hand that's clasped in his with his thumb. My breath comes in quick gasps, and I keep glancing at the pocket of his jacket, seeing my panties peek out.
How has no one said anything yet? I feel as though I have a dirty secret out in plain sight for everyone to see.
An older man joins us to wait for the elevator and speaks to the attendant in Japanese to call the floor. I can feel the awkward moments tick by as the elevator doors finally open, and we all go and stand inside. I'm aware of the heat coming off Ferdinand's body all through the elevator ride up to my room.
Luckily, the Shangri-La has fast elevators, so we don't have to wait too long.
But it does feel like an eternity before we get off on my floor and get to the door in front of my suite. With shaking hands, I take out the room key and slide it into the lock. I open the door, and we both slip inside.
Alone for the first time this entire day. Alone and so ready for him.
"Ferdinand," I whisper, just as the door closes.
And he rushes forward, kissing me with unbridled passion. Not holding back in the privacy of my suite.
"I'm so sorry," he murmurs against my lips. "I let you go. I gave you up. I should have done so much more to keep you."
I cup his face in my hands and shake my head. "I had to go," I whisper to him. "I had to figure out my life for myself."
He stares at me for a long moment, and I wonder briefly what he sees. Does he see the woman of his childhood? Or a broken thing that can’t ever be repaired?
“Lex,” he tells me. "I missed you so much. I wish..."
I kiss him. "Don't..." I tell him softly. "Don't focus on the past. Let's just think about our future together."
A smile curves his sexy lips. "Together?" He presses me up against the door, bracing himself with a hand on either side of my face. His hips thrust forward again, and I'm painfully aware of three things: that I'm not wearing my panties, that I still have yards and yards of tulle between me and him, and that I ache to feel him inside me.
"Yes," I mutter as he does so again. "Together."
He pulls up my skirts with one hand, and just when I'm about to say something to him, I feel his fingers against the bare skin of my sex. I gasp at the sensation, at how his fingertips trail down my skin and find my nub and rub it gently.
It's enough to set me on fire.
This is not the inexperienced eighteen-year-old I remember. No, it's evidence that he hasn't been celibate those fifteen years that we were apart, but I realize that I'm not bothered or possessive over that thought. After all, I've had my own boyfriends—and fiancé—since then. Our experiences have shaped us to be who we were during that time and who we are now.
Ferdinand is mine and always has been. But he's not quite the same man I left all those years ago.
And the thought thrills me.
A finger slips inside me, and I gasp. He captures my gasp with a kiss.
Then, as if a dam breaks in his mind and lets his self-control loose, a growl escapes him as his fingers leave me, only to grasp my hips. He hoists me up high enough to hold me aloft. "Put your legs around me," he commands, and I quickly oblige. With me wrapped around him, he carries me to the bed, where he gently sets me down on the bed.
I manage to find my voice as I prop myself up on my elbows. "Should I take my dress off?"
He grins. "Not yet. You look mighty fine in that dress, Miss Daae. Like a princess. It would be a shame to take it off in haste."
I'm about to ask what he has in mind, but then he drops to his knees, and disappears among the layers of fabric. And when his tongue finds my pussy, I arch back and let out a strangled, surprised cry. He sucks on my sensitive clit as his fingers work at my entrance.
"Just like your mouth," I hear him say, "you taste just the same."
I can't find my words. I don't even know if I want to have enough presence of mind to find any sort of intelligent speech. I just ride what his mouth does to me, taking me ever so close to the edge. But I want him to be inside me, so I try to pull away as I barrel closer and closer toward my climax.
He keeps his mouth there, sucking and licking with relentless abandon. Not letting me come back down to earth at all.
And when I come, it's earth-shattering and stars sparkle in my vision. My hoarse cries must have rattled the entire floor. He keeps me at his mercy, and only lets up when I lie back on the bed, panting.
"I've got you," he croons. "I've got you."
And I know that he's speaking the truth. I bite my lip to keep from saying words that I know we may not be ready for, and I even think tears prick my eyes. Crying after climaxing is something I don't want to do, especially since this is my first time with Ferdinand since I was eighteen, but I'm so overcome with emotion right now, I can't help it. It's a good emotion, but still, that's probably a strange thing for Ferdie to see.
I shiver uncontrollably, and he seems to sense this, because he crawls up into the bed next to me and spoons me from behind. Just...cuddling me.
No pretenses. No pressure to do anything more.
How could I have left him like I did?
As if reading my mind, his arm comes around my middle and he holds me close, burying his face in my back. I feel safe, protected. I haven't felt this way in years.
And now I really am crying.
We stay like that for a long time. It could have been a half hour or hours. I'm not sure. I just lie there, listening to his heartbeat. I don't sleep, and while his breathing is even. I don't think he sleeps either. Like that old song, we don't want to miss anything from this moment.
We're just two people who are starting to figure out how to navigate their futures. Together.
It's with that thought that I smile.
"What're you thinking?" he rumbles behind me. So he hasn't been sleeping.
I turn around in his arms to face him. He looks contemplative and unsure of himself as he meets my eyes.
I wipe at my cheeks. "Just about the time we lost. And how life could have been so different if I... if I..."
He kisses my forehead. "I don't want to live in the past, Lex. There's nothing to forgive. Nothing to forget. I just..." He clasps my hands in his. "I just want to move forward together." And then he reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a ring box.
I laugh despite myself. "We haven't even had sex yet, and you're proposing?"
"Well," he says, a sexy smile pulling at his lips, "I plan on fixing that as soon as you put this ring on your finger. But I'm not proposing, I just..." He lifts the lid of the box, and I recognize the ring that he had purchased from the jewelry store in Harajuku. "I just wanted to give this to you. As a promise. That no matter what happens, we're together. No pressure. No worries. I could care less what others think this time around. I just want to be with you."
/>
I bite my bottom lip, overcome with emotion. He takes the ring out of the box and slips it onto my finger.
"A promise," he says.
I nod. "A promise."
He shifts his weight, and he's now on top of me, propping himself on his elbows to look down at me. His expression is calm, serene, just before he kisses me. Something ignites within me at the contact of his lips on mine, his proximity.
While I had been satisfied earlier, I'm aroused now. And I want him again.
I'm still without my panties, and I can feel his cock through his trousers as he presses against me.
"I want you," I murmur to him, pulling at his sports coat, trying to take it off. Too many clothes. Too much between us.
He lets out a deep, throaty chuckle and slips it off. "I want you for the rest of my life." He loosens his tie, as I unbutton his shirt, and, out of desperation, I undo his trousers and unzip the fly. My hand finds his already-hard cock, and I groan in pleasure. The memory of him doesn't do justice to how he feels now in my hands.
He closes his eyes, like he's trying to maintain control. "I have a condom," he says, his voice ragged. Because we know better than many what happens when you have sex without birth control. "I'm clean," he adds, "and I would want you bare." To my surprise, he smiles, almost embarrassed. "But a condom will let me go for a long time."
I gulp. "Condom it is, then," I say. Because going for a long, long time sounds like exactly what I need right now.
Judging by his expression, that's what he was hoping for as well. He sits back and takes off his pants. He takes out a shiny condom wrapper from his wallet, and I think my breath hitches even higher. I sit up and desperately try to remove my dress as he unrolls the rubber onto his considerable length. I get it mostly off before he stands on the edge of the bed and scoots my entire body toward him, moving my skirts up and my breasts peek out the top of the dress.
He lifts my left leg on his shoulder as he positions himself at my entrance, and hesitates just a moment to tease me. I feel like I'm nearly about to tear out of my skin, I want him so badly.
And then he pushes himself into me, one gliding motion all the way to the hilt that causes my breasts to bounce. I throw my head back with a hoarse cry as he pulls back, nearly out, and then thrusts in again. With his free hand, he massages my breasts as he pumps into me, and all I can do is hang on for dear life as he fucks me over the edge of the bed. He leans forward and kisses me, his tongue sweeping my mouth.
In and out. Out and in. Our bodies work in sync together, building up our climax. I know that I'm saying something, although I don't know if they're words or just moans or some language that transcends words. I'm getting closer and closer to my orgasm when he flips me over and I'm on my knees on the edge of the bed. He props a leg up on the mattress and reaches around me to rub at my clit.
That finally sends me over the edge. I arch with the strength of my orgasm and grasp at the sheets. I call his name. I say some other things, too, although fuck knows what they are.
He thrusts a few more times into me, before he comes as well. "Alexandra!" he cries.
I love my name on his lips.
He leans forward, molding his body flush against mine, and we're heaving our breaths together as one.
Breathless and spent, we crawl back into the bed together where he makes love to me again. And, after we sleep, again, in the morning.
After fifteen years, it feels as though we're teenagers again.
Except this time, it feels as though it’s for the rest of our lives.
26
Ferdinand
I order room service for breakfast and lunch. We’re living a dream inside this hotel room, and I don’t want to ruin it or leave it or do anything to jeopardize it. Lex and I stay in bed, talking, catching up on life. Fifteen years apart was a long time to spend apart, and though we’re inside this little bubble that we created, I want to learn about every aspect of Lex’s life. We talked last time we were in Japan together, but it’s different this time. The walls are down, and we’re asking each other things that we weren’t able to before.
“So James didn’t like to go down on you?” I ask.
Lex is sitting up in the bed, resting against the pillow. The sheet is haphazardly covering her, although I can see the outlines of her breasts underneath the fabric, which is almost as distracting as her eyes. I lie on my side facing toward the foot of the bed, and I’m trailing my fingers up and down her bare legs, causing goosebumps to raise underneath my touch. I love seeing the effect that I have on her.
That it’s still as strong as ever. And even now, I can feel my body getting ready for another round with her to make her scream my name again.
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “James hated it. He either wanted blow jobs or go right to the sex.”
A surge of anger flashes through me, not necessarily at a man I’ve never met, but at the circumstances. Just that I wasn’t there the past fifteen years, that I couldn’t give her the pleasure that she deserved. So much time apart. So much that we have to bridge.
“But,” she adds mischievously, “that’s good for you. I give great blow jobs now.”
“Oh, I know.” I lean forward and kiss her legs. “You proved that earlier.”
She hisses an intake of breath. “I did better with you than I ever did with James. I didn’t hold back.”
“I noticed. Thank you.”
She laughs, and I wonder how I’ve ever managed all these years without her. “Glad I could put some of that practice to use.” There’s sorrow in her voice, and she shifts her legs, as if suddenly uncomfortable.
I gently squeeze her calf. “Hey,” I tell her. “Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Regret the past. Regret any other man that you’ve been with. They’ve taken great care of you while we’ve been apart.”
She snorts self-deprecatingly, and it’s both uncharacteristic of her and so damn cute. “Yeah, we wouldn’t have had that had I not been so stubborn in the past.”
Wordlessly, I sit up and scoot myself closer to her. I tip her chin up with the crook of my index finger and kiss her. “Stay with me in the present,” I whisper as I trail my lips down her neck. “Just stay with me.”
She nods against me. “Yes.” It comes out almost as a moan. “Do you think Sachiko is angry that we kind of...disappeared in the middle of her wedding?”
“Well,” I say as I massage her breast. “Considering that she was the one who invited us, I’m sure she was expecting us to sneak off. And she’s probably in as compromising of a position as you are right now.”
Lex raises an eyebrow. “Compromising, huh?”
I tweak her nipple. “She did just get married, after all.”
She shivers. “Did you attend any of the wedding?”
“I did. You looked beautiful.”
She laughs, and I capture her lips with mine. She turns away, breaking our kiss, and I nearly growl in disappointment at the lack of contact. She reaches over to the nightstand, where we’ve had a champagne bottle and ice bucket set up, and grabs her phone. She keys in her password and peers down at the phone, thumbing through her notifications. I nuzzle her neck as she looks through them, not paying attention to what’s on her phone screen.
Suddenly, her breath catches in her throat and she puts a hand to her mouth.
“What is it?” I ask, alarmed.
She turns her phone so I can see the screen where there’s a text message from Sachiko. There are just two words there.
Be happy.
“I guess we know now if Sachiko was upset about us leaving,” I murmur, amused.
“She’s been so wonderful to me.” Lex wipes away at her tears.
“Because you’re wonderful.” I smile, laugh, and shake my head.
“What?” she asks, suspiciously.
“I guess we’ll have to invite Sachiko to our wedding, won’t we?”
She bursts out laughing. I
fucking love her laugh. “And we can’t be angry if she sneaks off.”
“Nope.”
Lex falls silent as she plays with the ring on her finger. “Our wedding, huh?”
“As I said last night,” I tell her, “that wasn’t an engagement ring. It was a promise.”
“I know,” she says. “I’m just not sure about marriage at the moment. I have a bad track record when it comes to engagements.”
I kiss her forehead. “Then we’ll take it slowly,” I tell her. “We’ve had fifteen years to find each other again. I’m in no hurry to move quickly. I just want to be with you.”
She smiles serenely. “Okay, let’s do that.” She entwines her fingers in mine and kisses the back of my hand. “Let’s see where this goes.”
“And be happy,” I promise her.
She nods. “And be happy.”
Lex’s hand feels a little clammy in mine as our limousine pulls up to Hanover Palace. Understandably so, because she knows what’s waiting for us there. My family. Phillip, Eric, Henry, and everyone else. I’m sure she’s nervous about seeing Phillip again after all these years. But most of all, I’m not sure how she’s going to handle seeing Elizabeth for the first time.
“Are you all right?” I ask as I lean into her.
She stares off into space for a moment before nodding. “I think so. It’s just been a while since I’ve seen them.”
“My family?”
“Yes. And they’re all married now. How...strange.” She frowns. “We’re all grown up, aren’t we?”
I laugh softly as I put an arm about her shoulders. “Yes. But, in a way, it’s like everything is coming back full circle. You’ve always been a part of us, Lex. This is just what’s right.”
Our eyes meet, and she smiles at me. “Thank you.”
“You will be fine. You’re my Lex.”
“And you’re my Ferdie.”
I kiss her forehead. “I’ll be with you the entire time.”
She drums her hands on her thighs throughout the rest of the drive. I’ve never seen her so nervous, even when we were in high school and she wasn’t prepared for a big test. I wish there was something I could do to erase her nerves, but this is something that needs to happen for both of us.
