by El Edwards
ABOUT THE BOOK
When Charlie Diamond offers to help find charity shop manager Beverly’s missing Tortoise, she expects to have the case wrapped up in a week. After all, with such little legs, how far can one animal get?
But little does she know she’s about to undertake her most challenging investigation to date when she accidentally stumbles into the middle of a drugs ring.
Why are the criminal underclass suddenly interested in domesticated animals? Who's really calling the shots? And will Beverley's pet ever come home?
To Dai, for that crazy weekend when I had to get it finished, and to my mum, for telling me to “just do that then”.
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Thirty-Two
Thirty-Three
Thirty-Four
Thirty-Five
Thirty-Six
Thirty-Seven
Thirty-Eight
Thirty-Nine
Forty
Forty-One
Forty-Two
Forty-Three
Forty-Four
Forty-Five
Forty-Six
Forty-Seven
Forty-Eight
Forty-Nine
Fifty
Fifty-One
Fifty-Two
Fifty-Three
Fifty-Four
Fifty-Five
Fifty-Six
Fifty-Seven
Fifty-Eight
Fifty-Nine
Sixty
Sixty-One
Sixty-Two
Sixty-Three
Sixty-Four
Charlie
Free fiction
About The Author
ONE
“What kind of person would allow a five year old to wander around outside without phoning the police?”
I smiled at the lady in front of me. “Sure, a five year old child but …”
“No buts Charlie.” She shook her head firmly. “It doesn’t make any difference. I had to call them.”
“I understand. And what did they say?” It didn’t take much imagination to guess exactly what they said.
“They took some details but they couldn’t promise to spend much time on it.”
I watched as she started pacing up and down in front of me. I’d only come into the charity shop to fix her staff toilet. When I’d asked Beverly if she was having a nice day I was only making small talk, but it was clear I’d inadvertently stumbled onto the one topic of conversation guaranteed to excite her.
“Is it possible she just wandered off?” I asked.
“She’s a sausage dog Charlie. Her legs are tiny, it’s not like she could have gone far. I’m telling you, someone’s stolen her.”
I had to bite my lip to stop myself from smiling. When she’d told me about the tiny dog she’d named Tortoise I’d thought she was joking, but from the way she paced up and down, it was clear she was far from kidding. I stood up from where I’d been kneeling and gave her toilet a flush.
“There, all done.” I thought about my plans for the rest of the day and made a decision. “Now, how about you make us both a cuppa and you can tell me all about Tortoise. Maybe I can help?”
“Would you? Oh Charlie, that would be wonderful. Thank you!”
Without waiting for a reply she rushed out of the room in the direction of the staff kitchen. I carefully packed away my tools and, not for the first time, wondered how I managed to get myself into such crazy situations. I glanced at a business card in the bottom of my bag. Charlie Diamond, private investigator. I sighed. Wrong card, again. Although maybe it was a sign. I’d been talking about packing in the plumbing business for ages now. It seemed about right that my first plumbing gig in a month should lead to more investigative work. Best investigator this side of the Severn Bridge, or that’s what I liked to tell myself. My specialty was missing persons, I had a knack for tracking down the untrackable, but looking for a missing pet? This was new, even for me.
With one last glance around the room for stray tools, I picked up my bag and headed in the direction of the staff kitchen. Business was quiet and maybe a little distraction was just what I needed. I had a ‘no find, no fee’ policy but that didn’t extend to animals. This would simply be a bit of fun on the side, a chance to keep my hand in. Besides, there was something endearing about Beverly. If I could reunite her with her beloved pet, today would be a very good day.
“Tell me again how you got conned into this?” My daughter’s eyes were wet with tears.
“It’s not funny! And I didn’t get conned. I just wanted to help.”
“Oh Mum, you’re impossible!”
Grace called up the stairs to her sister. “Hey Lou, have you heard about Mum’s latest case?”
Before I could stop her, Grace had run up the stairs and into Louise’s room, apparently to fill her in on my dog hunt. I knew I should be thankful my daughters were sharing a joke, even if it was at my expense, but after losing most of the afternoon to Beverly and her dog, I was tired and my head had started to throb. All I really wanted was a long soak in a hot bath but there was dinner to prepare and the washing to put on. The joys of being a domestic goddess, I thought.
I was about to put the oven on when my phone rang. I glanced at the screen and smiled. It was Rob, my favourite local police detective. “Hi Rob …”
“Is that Charlie Diamond, pet detective?”
“Oh ha, bloody ha! I take it someone told you about Tortoise.”
“Is that her name?” He laughed. “It just keeps getting better and better!”
Rob and I had a history that stretched back far longer than I cared to remember. He was my go-to guy when I needed some inside information. In exchange for which, I put up with his teasing. It was a good dynamic that worked for both of us although there were occasions, like right now, when I found myself wishing he wasn’t quite so all-knowing.
“How did you find out? Beverly told me your lot weren’t that interested.”
“Not interested in the welfare of a much-loved member of the community? How dare you!” He was laughing again. “I’ll have you know I was only ringing to offer my assistance. If there’s anything I can do, any help at all that you need, I’m only a phone call away.”
“Yeah right! You just wanted to take the piss!” I laughed and felt myself weakening. “It’s alright, I’d have done the same. So who told you?”
“Beverly came into the station, ‘bout an hour ago, told Trev on the front desk that she didn’t need our help any more, that she had a professional on the case. You can imagine how well that went down. When Trevor pushed her for a name she showed him your card.”
Oh brother! “No pressure then.”
Rob laughed. “None at all.”
“All I said was I’d ask around, do a bit of digging. Made no promises, I just wanted to help.”
“Heart of gold, that’s you Charlie.”
/>
“Soft touch you mean!”
“You said it, not me. Now listen, there’s something else.”
“Oh?”
“Thing is, this isn’t the first animal to go missing.”
“No shit Sherlock! Have you seen the number of cat posters round town?”
“I don’t mean the cats. There’s been others. A few micro pigs.”
“Micro pigs? You’re kidding, right?”
“I wish I was. Google them, they’re really cute. Anyway, the point is, if you hear anything, come straight to me.” He paused. “Gotta go Charlie, that was the boss calling. Just remember what I said.”
And with that, the line went dead.
TWO
When I walked into the kitchen the following morning to find the table set and fruit chopped, I got the first inkling that my daughters might be up to something. I could count on one hand the number of mornings I’d seen them up before ten on a Saturday and the last time we’d eaten breakfast together at the table was when they were about six. Most mornings breakfast consisted of Louise grabbing a banana as she rushed out to catch the bus. Grace was so scatty about breakfast I’d started giving her extra lunch money, making her promise to get a snack at break time.
“What’s going on?” I pressed my hand against Louise’s head. She didn’t feel hot.
Grace smiled sweetly and directed me to a chair. “We don’t know what you mean. Coffee?” She held up a pot and I nodded.
“Please.” I looked from Grace to Louise. “Well? What’s going on?” I asked again. “Why are you two up?”
“Why shouldn’t we make our favourite mother a nice nutritious breakfast ahead of a busy day?”
“Busy day? Who said anything about a busy day?” I mentally ran through my agenda for the day. I was pretty sure there was nothing taxing planned. I needed to knock on a few doors later but that was about it. It was then that the penny dropped. “Oh I get it, this is about the dog again, isn’t it?”
Grace did her best to hide a smirk but Louise burst out laughing.
“You little …”
“Can you blame us?” Louise asked, her eyes wet with tears. “It’s just too funny. We couldn’t let you go out again without at least hearing all the gossip.”
I grabbed one of the strawberries from the bowl on the table and bit into it. “Well if it gets me table service at breakfast, it might be worth it.”
“So go on then, tell us all about it,” said Grace.
I shrugged. “Not much to tell. She’s called Tortoise.” I gave them both a stern look, daring them to giggle. “She’s five, Beverly’s had her since she was a puppy.”
“Do you think she’d let us take it for a walk?” Grace was uncharacteristically animated. “I’ve never seen a sausage dog before, except in YouTube videos.”
“I’ve got to find her first, remember?”
“Well yeah, but you always do.”
I was touched by my daughter’s faith but I didn’t share her optimism. “If she really has been stolen she could be long gone by now.”
“Ha, ha, good one Mum!” Louise was laughing again.
“It’s not funny Lou. Her poor owner’s distraught.”
“But with such little legs.” Louise looked from me to Grace. “Long gone?” She started giggling to herself as she wandered around the kitchen, picking up plates and putting them in the dishwasher.
“Ignore her,” Grace said. “Do you want some help? I could come with you when you knock on doors if you like?”
“Really?” I felt my spirits lift. It wasn’t often that either of the girls took much interest in my work and it would be lovely to have company. Door to door could get pretty repetitive. “That would be great, thanks! Let me finish this then I’ll go and get ready.”
I quickly finished my breakfast before rushing back upstairs to get dressed, keen to get going before Grace changed her mind.
Twenty minutes later I was starting to regret my daughter’s offer of help. I was swiftly coming to the conclusion that working alone was much more efficient. We’d only spoken to three people and if I had to listen to her complain about how cold she was for much longer I was likely to lose the plot.
I sighed. “How about we go for a coffee to warm up?” It was Saturday after all, there was only so much work one could be expected to do on the weekend and it would be nice to sit and chat.
“Make it a hot chocolate and you’re on. I know just the place!” Grace’s eyes lit up as she led me in the direction of a pokey cafe. “You get the drinks in, I’ll find us a table upstairs.”
Before I could protest, Grace turned and headed up a narrow flight of stairs into the belly of the building. I looked around as I waited in the queue. This place had to be a fire hazard and I shuddered to imagine my children spending countless hours with their friends in this death trap but quickly shook the thought away. I knew I had a tendency to be overprotective when it came to Grace and Louise.
Tray loaded with drinks and a custard slice each, I carefully edged my way upstairs and soon spotted Grace sitting at a table near the window.
“Oooh custard slice, yummy. Thanks Mum.”
I took a sip of my coffee and was forced to admit that it was good. “How’d you know about this place?”
“Me and the girls come here sometimes on a Saturday. The hot chocolate is to die for!”
“Not literally I hope!”
“What?” Grace looked confused.
“Nothing.” I paused. “So how are things with you?” It wasn’t often that I got time alone with either of my girls and I was keen to make the most of the opportunity.
Grace shrugged. “Alright I guess.”
“School going okay? Not long ’till the exams now.”
Grace and Louise were preparing for their A-levels. Louise had drawn up revision timetables and highlighted the relevant sections of her study guides months ago. Her bedroom was like an Aladdin’s cave, the walls covered in charts and checkboxes. Grace, by contrast, appeared to be taking the laid back approach.
She shrugged again. “It’s fine Mum, honest.”
“It’s just, you don’t seem to have done much in the way of revision yet love.” I chose my words carefully, keen not to compare her to Louise.
“I’ve got it all under control. Now tell me about these micro-pigs. Did Rob say where you get them from?”
And with that the conversation was over. I knew better than to push Grace. She was very bright, they both were, but if she got it into her head she was being steered in a specific direction, there was a better than average chance she’d overreact and throw the whole lot away. The last thing I needed right now was teenage histrionics.
I smiled, took a deep breath, and started to tell Grace everything I knew about the missing pets. I just had to hope I was doing the right thing by not pushing her. She was nearly an adult but that didn’t stop me from worrying about my headstrong daughter.
THREE
By the time Monday morning rolled round again, I decided I had more than enough to worry about, without giving in to panic attacks about Grace’s study habits, or lack there of. Rob had phoned offering to take me out to lunch. Usually this meant one of two things. Either he wanted to tap me for information or warn me off a case. Seeing as my house to house enquires had drawn exactly zero leads, I was afraid he was about to try and talk me out of wasting any more time looking for Tortoise. The more he pushed me to give up, the more likely I was to dig my heels in, but secretly I was afraid he might be right.
Rob was waiting for me in our favourite railway cafe, two coffees already on the table. He smiled as I sat down and pushed one in my direction. “Thought you might need this.”
“Thanks.” I took a sip, waiting for Rob to tell me what he wanted. When he didn’t speak I started looking through the menu. Two could play at his game and I was determined not to be the first to break the silence.
The seconds ticked by before Rob eventually cleared his throat. “How’s it goi
ng then?”
“It?” I said, feigning ignorance. I could guess exactly what he meant but I wasn’t about to make it easy for him.
Rob smiled. “Come on, don’t make me say it.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Fine, have it your way.” He took a deep breath. “Any news on the missing pup?”
“She’s still missing.”
“And?”
I shrugged. “And nothing. I knocked on a few doors, asked around, but no-one’s seen her.”
“I guess it would be easy to miss such a little dog.” He hesitated. “Anyone mention the pigs?”
“Nope. Are you going to tell me what this is really about?”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, since when did CID take such an active interest in a few missing pets? Something’s going on and I want to know what.”
Rob looked at the floor.
“Ha! I knew it! Come on Rob, spill!”
He opened his mouth and was about to speak when his phone on the table in front of us burst into life. He glanced at the screen before grabbing it and standing up. “Sorry Charlie, got to take this.”
I watched as he rushed outside and started pacing up and down in front of the cafe.
A waitress arrived at the table to take our order. “What can I get you?”
I glanced up at Rob’s still pacing form. “Can you give us a minute? I’m not sure what he wants. Another coffee while I wait would be wonderful though. Thanks!”
I sipped at my second coffee and considered all the possible reasons Rob and his colleagues might have for investigating stolen pets and came up blank. If it had been valuable livestock I could have convinced myself there was a case to be made but tiny pigs and a sausage dog? It made no sense. I couldn’t wait to hear Rob’s explanation but when I looked up again I saw that he’d gone, leaving me to pay for the coffees. Typical!
I typed a quick text message. Where did you go?!? By the time I’d finished my coffee, he still hadn’t come back, or replied to my text, so I paid for the drinks and headed in the direction of Beverly’s house.
