by Lacey London
‘They’re lovely.’ Lianna drops her head onto my shoulder and points to Dixie, Dolly and Dallas. ‘Clara, aren’t they lovely?’
Nodding in agreement, I pick up the drinks menu and scour the cocktail list. Lianna may have had a skin full, but I think I could squeeze in another cocktail.
‘I like the blonde one.’ Li mumbles from under her hair. ‘She’s my favourite.’
‘They’re all blonde.’ Laughing at her drunken state I slide over to make room for Janie.
Smiling widely with a hot pink feather boa draped around her neck and a blow up boyfriend strapped to her back, Janie looks like she is having the time of her life. I watch her prowl across the dance floor clutching a round of shot glasses to her chest. Trust Janie to get this much enjoyment out of a tacky British hen do.
‘These are courtesy of Adam over there.’ Flashing a cheeky wink to the amorous barman, she places the glasses down on the table.
‘What is it?’ Sniffing the potent liquid dubiously, I instantly recognise it as the dreaded tequila.
‘Tequila! He didn’t have any salt or lime but don’t worry, I got a shot of scotch to wash it down.’ Janie collapses down beside me and I try not to vomit at the overwhelming stench of alcohol.
Before I can stop her, Lianna picks up the tequila and throws it back. Oh, no! If she thinks that I am holding back her hair while she vomits then she has got another thing coming.
‘Eww! Where’s the scotch?’ Li wipes her mouth and reaches for the whisky.
Not knowing what else to do, I grab the scotch and toss it over my shoulder. ‘Oops! Accident.’
Thankfully, Lianna is too drunk to notice and Janie has already disappeared back to her barman. Checking my watch I wonder if it is too soon to call it a night. The lure of Oliver and my bed is so tempting and I really don’t fancy waiting around for closing time with this lot. While Li scrambles around in her handbag for her mobile, I give Gina a quick wave and pray that she doesn’t come over.
Hearing a drunken Lianna start to ramble under her breath, I motion to our new friend Adam for a bottle of water.
‘Li, you need to open your mouth when you speak if you want people to understand you.’ Rubbing her back I try not to laugh.
‘Dan’s got cold feet.’ Her voice is barely audible, but I can just about make it out.
‘What do you mean?’ Confused, I lean in closer and move the hair out of her face.
‘He’s got cold feet! He’s not sure that he wants to get married so soon…’ Her mumbles trail off into intoxicated sobs as she drops her head down onto the table.
‘Now come on, I’m sure that’s not true.’ Knowing that it is just the vodka, whiskey, gin and tequila talking, I try to brush past it.
‘It is true!’ She wails, her voice is suddenly so high people can hear it over the music.
‘I think it’s time that we got you home. You wait there and I’ll tell the others that we’re leaving.’
Grabbing my handbag, I slide out of the booth and squeeze my way through the sea of people on the dance floor. Just like Gina, Dallas isn’t showing any signs of slowing down either. The pair of them are making Dolly and Dixie look like lightweights, even without the alcohol.
‘Gina?’ Tapping her on the shoulder, I try not to get a mouthful of her veil. ‘I’m going to take Lianna home.’
‘Really?’ Gina frowns. ‘So soon?’
‘Yeah, she’s had one too many tequilas.’ Pointing over to the crying mess that is Lianna, I tug my handbag onto my shoulder. ‘Can you keep an eye on Janie and the girls for me?’
‘Where is Janie?’ She plants a red smacker on my cheek and pulls me in for a hug.
‘She’s at the bar.’ I roll my eyes as Gina turns to look at Janie.
In the past five minutes she has acquired quite an audience. I don’t think the staff at The Courtyard have witnessed an American pensioner doing tequila shots straight off a male dancer’s torso before.
‘I’m so jealous. Marc’s mum is such a drip.’ Gina sighs wistfully. ‘Call me tomorrow!’
After saying goodbye to The Three D’s, I creep past Janie and drag Lianna to her feet.
‘I feel sick.’ Screwing up her nose, she links her arm through mine.
‘Come on then, let’s get you home to bed.’ I push her out of the door and try to flag down a taxi.
‘Clara?’ Lianna whispers, attempting to put one foot in front of the other.
‘Yes?’
‘Can we get a kebab first?’
Always a lady Li, always a lady.
Chapter 20
Tapping out a quick email to Marc, I click send and slip my mobile under the pillow. I have never been so happy to have the day off work. I must admit, it does feel a little mean to be lay in bed while Marc is being run ragged at work. Anyone would think that it was my wedding tomorrow, not his. Realising that Oliver left for work hours ago, I take advantage of the empty bed and stretch out my legs.
It was gone two in the morning by the time I finally got into bed last night. Getting Lianna home in one piece was more difficult than I anticipated. It turns out that the kebab was a huge mistake. Washing chilli sauce out of a drunken twenty nine year olds hair is not as easy as it looks. Neither is convincing her to drink a pint of water before bed. It was only when I threatened to force it down with the garden hose that she finally relented.
Pushing myself to my feet, I allow myself one final stretch before padding into the living room. I dread to think what time Janie rolled in last night, I know that she wasn’t here when I came home. The empty bottle of brandy on the kitchen counter tells me that she made it home alive. However, the snoring coming from the spare room tells me that she is not in the land of the living just yet.
Trying to be as quiet as possible, I make my way to the coffee maker and flick on the switch. I really can’t believe that Gina and Marc are getting married tomorrow! It’s all happened so quickly and after all the crazy wedding ideas that Gina was throwing around, I am really surprised that she is going so traditional. Well, if you can call walking down the aisle with a baby bump and a toddler traditional.
Pouring myself a delicious espresso, I pop a couple of pancakes into the toaster and send a text message to Lianna. If I know Li, and I think I do, she will be devouring a McDonald’s breakfast right about now like last night never happened. It amazes me how she can sink an entire bottle of tequila and still wake up on cloud nine. Marc and I have tried to talk her into going on Britain’s Got Talent loads of times, but she won’t have any of it.
Curling up on the sofa, I am just about to dive into my pancakes when the door to the spare room flies open. Without saying a word, Janie slopes out into the kitchen and pours herself a coffee. I consider saying good morning, but she really doesn’t look like a lady who is in the mood for making small talk. Her oversized sunglasses almost cover her entire face and from the way that her hands are shaking, that probably isn’t a bad thing.
Suddenly thankfully that I turned down that last tequila shot, I offer her a small smile and take a sip of coffee. I am so tempted to ask for all the juicy details from last night, but without a couple of coffees inside me, I have to admit that I am not brave enough to do so. With all the chaos of George and The Three D’s arriving, I haven’t really had the chance to find out about Marc and Gina’s wedding. I don’t know what the dress is like, I don’t know what vows she has chosen, come to think of it, I don’t even know where the reception is being held.
‘What the hell is wrong with this damn coffee maker?’ Slamming down her mug, Janie whips off her sunglasses.
Jumping to my feet, I try not to show my shock at her hungover appearance. ‘You need to put a coffee pod in before you push the button.’ Her usually taught skin is grey and dry and the huge bags that are weighing down her eyes make her look at least seventy.
‘Screw this!’ Janie’s voice is hoarse as she tugs on her sequin UGG boots. ‘I’m gonna go Starbucks. I’ll be at Gina’s if you need me.�
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‘OK. Will you be back for dinner?’ I shoot her a friendly smile, but she just scowls back.
‘You kidding me? I spent the past hour with my head down the toilet!’ With a scowl that could melt stone, Janie grabs her mobile phone and the slams the door behind her.
Returning to my pancakes I can’t help but let out a little laugh. Janie can be like a bear with a sore head on an average morning, I would not like to get on the wrong side of her today. I wonder how Dixie and Dolly are doing this morning? Considering the vast amount of tequila that they consumed last night I am guessing that they are not too well. To be honest, Oliver wasn’t the freshest this morning either. It turns out that a quiet night in with Marc and Madison wasn’t quite as quiet as they anticipated. I would elaborate more, but I completely zoned out at the mention of football and Budweiser. Thankful not to be part of the hangover club, I finish my coffee and pop the now empty mug in the dishwasher. Padding into the bedroom, I pull on a pair of skinny jeans and drag my favourite hoodie over my head. I don’t even need to look in my wardrobe to know that I don’t have anything to wear to Marc’s wedding tomorrow. The three outfits that I ordered online aren’t quite what I was looking for. Well, actually they are. I just really want to have a quick stroll around the shops, you know, just in case. Besides, apart from my bank balance, a little shopping never hurt anyone. Like Carrie once said, I like my money right where I can see it, hanging in my closet and who am I to argue with Carrie Bradshaw?
Chapter 21
Twirling around in the mirror, I stroke my new dress fondly. I never thought that green was my colour, but the deep emerald compliments my dark hair perfectly. Given my height, I usually stay away from floor length gowns as they have a tendency to make me look like a hobbit, but for some magical reason, this dress gives the illusion of a few extra inches. Definitely worth the extortionate price tag.
Janie left for the church a couple of hours ago so I have been able to get ready in leisure. With a head set on and a walkie talkie strapped to her hip, she looked armed and dangerous. Whilst she was in the bath last night, I managed to get a peek into her precious wedding planner and I have to admit that I am a little worried about our own wedding. According to Janie’s planner, once today is over, it is all about me. From florist appointments to photographer meetings, she seems to have it covered. I honestly can’t work out whether Janie being in control is a good thing or a bad thing.
Slipping my feet into my favourite nude courts, I toss some tissues into my handbag along with a tiny box of confetti. The ceremony starts in an hour. Ideally we should be getting going pretty soon. As if reading my mind, Oliver pops his head into the bedroom.
‘Almost ready?’ Flashing me a smile, he nods appreciatively at my outfit. ‘You look incredible.’
Blushing slightly, I grab my handbag and push him out of the door. ‘Have you called a taxi?’
‘I’m on it.’ Grabbing the phone, he wanders into the kitchen.
I have to hand it to Oliver, he looks seriously good in a suit. I always find it amazing how a simple black tux can transform any man into a hunk. Even Simon Cowell looks relatively attractive in a suit. If only a little black dress had the same affect. Unfortunately, we all know that this isn’t the case.
‘All done.’ Oliver places the phone back into the holster and collapses onto the couch. ‘Also, there’s a voicemail from Lianna.’
‘Voicemail? Lianna never leaves voicemails.’
‘She’s running late, something to do with Dan being an ass hole’
Laughing, I turn to the mirror and apply a final layer of mascara. Now that I finally have him to myself, I want to tackle the subject of George. Apart from our impromptu discussion outside the restaurant we haven’t really had a chance to talk about it.
‘So, about George.’ Dropping down next to him I try not to crease my dress.
‘What about him?’ Oliver replies.
‘I was just wondering how you felt about the whole situation. Dallas and the baby etc…’ I chew my lip as the taxi pulls up outside.
‘I can honestly say that I’m fine with it. Just as I said the other day, G and I were friends for many years before you and I met. I’m happy for them.’ He shoots me a genuine smile and checks his watch.
‘Great! That’s really great.’ Leaning across the couch, I give his knee a little squeeze.
The taxi driver beeps his horn signalling an end to our conversation. ‘Anyway, we better go. My mom will kill us if we’re late.’
*
As we pull up to the church, I am shocked by the amount of people that are milling around. Considering that they only gave people a week’s notice, there are a hell of a lot guests here. Leaving Oliver to settle the taxi fare, I push open the door and make my way across the courtyard. Spotting Marc talking to an elderly lady with a blue rinse, I give him a little wave. I am about to brave the gravel in my stilettos when a familiar Texan drawl pierces my eardrum.
‘Hey! Clara! Over here!’ Dixie, Dolly and Dallas are stood in the church entrance waving wildly.
Waving back, I have to admit that they look gorgeous. Their matching gingham swing dresses are rather conservative compared to their usual attire. I don’t think that I have ever seen them in something that covers both their ass and their boobs at the same time. Oliver appears by my side and slips his hand in mine as we walk towards them.
‘Hi! You all look great! I love your dresses.’ I give Dolly and Dixie a quick peck on the cheek. As usual, Dallas just waves. I’m getting the feeling that she isn’t the hugging type.
‘Thank you. I thought we would bring a little Texas to London.’ Lifting her dress, Dolly points to her impressive cowboy boots proudly.
‘Wow!’ I raise my eyebrows, unsure of what to say about the unusual combination. ‘Where’s George?’
‘He went to help Janie. There was a mix up with the flowers. Someone sent cerise roses instead of fuchsia roses.’ Dixie rolls her eyes and motions inside the church. ‘She was going crazy in there.’
I bite my lip to prevent a laugh from escaping. For some reason, the idea of Janie tearing her hair out really tickles me. Gentle music starts to flow out of the church as the crowd make their way inside. Taking the hint, we immediately get ourselves in line and join the queue. Once inside, I hear Janie before I see her. Stood at the front next to a nervous looking Marc, I can hear her growling into a mouthpiece. Catching Marc’s eye I slide onto a bench and shoot him the thumbs up sign. In a cream three piece suit with gold cravat he has never looked more Marc. I have to admit that I am pretty relieved at his choice of suit. When they first got engaged, the term metallic tux was thrown around more times than I care to remember.
As the church fills up, I have a quick scan around the room. Apart from Marc’s parents, a couple of work colleagues and the guy from the coffee shop, I don’t really recognise anyone. I do, however, recognize Lianna. Storming down the aisle in a stunning yellow maxi dress, she has a face like thunder. With Dan nowhere to be seen, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why.
Rummaging around in my purse, I dig out my iPhone. There may be a professional photographer clicking away at the altar, but I can’t resist taking some snaps of my own. Nothing quite says British wedding like badly taken photographs.
As the procession music starts to play the entire room falls into silence. Automatically holding my breath, I take a peek over my shoulder. This is my favourite part of a wedding. The excruciating wait for the bride’s arrival, the indescribable look on the groom’s face as she walks down the aisle and the breath of relief you feel when you finally hear the words I do.
Who doesn’t love a good wedding?
11.30am
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE - Complaint: Fuchsia roses!?
Dear Mrs. Morgan,
Thank you for taking the time to communicate to us why our flowers did not meet your expectations. We wou
ld like to take this opportunity to apologise profusely that the flowers you received were, ‘as ugly as the back of a refrigerator.’ Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience that we have caused you. In addition to this apology we have included a cheque of £50 as a gesture of goodwill.
We trust this is a satisfactory outcome to your complaint,
Thank you
P. J. Marshall
Chapter 22
Tossing a handful of pink confetti over a glowing Gina, I try to blink back the tears that are pricking at the corner of my eyes. I have to hand it Janie, the ceremony was beautiful. From the adorable readings to the tear jerking music that played as they said their vows, she really has pulled out all the stops. In such a short space of time, it really is remarkable what she has achieved. Maybe six weeks is enough time to plan a wedding after all.
‘Congratulations!’ Throwing my arms around Gina’s neck, I plant a huge kiss on her cheek. ‘You look amazing! Your dress is absolutely perfect!’
I eye up the lavish ball gown for the millionth time that hour. It really is stunningly beautiful and nothing like I expected her to choose. The ivory tulle skirt creates an amazing ballerina shape and the hundreds of gems that are carefully scattered across the bodice make her look like a real princess. In true Gina style, she has paired the traditional dress with a pair of leopard print Louboutins and pillar box red lips. She couldn’t look more perfect if she tried.
As Gina poses for photos I try to get to Marc, but he is being mobbed by the girls from HR. Bless him. I never thought I would see the day that Marc swapped tequila and strip clubs for nappies and wedding rings. I guess that real life gets us all one day.
Spotting Oliver throwing Madison up in the air, I feel my ovaries explode. The little voice in the back of my head reminds me that after marriage, the obvious next step is babies. There was time in Mexico where Oliver thought I was pregnant and he was openly devastated when it was a false alarm. From his reaction, I am guessing that babies are well and truly on his to do list.
